Author: Randall Reeder

A year ago, an amateur gunman tried to assassinate candidate Donald Trump. He missed killing the President-to-be by a fraction of an inch. But he did kill 50-year-old Corey Comperatore, and wounded two others.

A new report shows that the Secret Service was being run by amateurs that day in Butler, Pennsylvania. They put a new trainee in charge of protecting the Republican nominee for President. And the “drone operator” had only an hour of experience with a drone and had no idea how to fix it when it broke down. Communication with local officials onsite was non-existent.

On a personal note, I’m having surgery this Tuesday, July 15, to repair an aortic aneurysm. It will be done by a top surgical team at Riverside Methodist Hospital in Columbus. (No amateurs allowed in the operating room!) I hope to post updates on Facebook. Recovery will keep me out of “normal” physical activities, events and travel for about a month.

(Will Rogers had gall bladder surgery in 1927. I may “borrow” comments from his newspaper articles and the little book he wrote about it, “Ether and Me.”)

For the tragic flash flood in Texas, 129 deaths are confirmed with 170 still missing. The National Weather Service did issue warnings on time. But the warnings did not get to the people along the river who were asleep.

This should serve as a reminder to organizations, businesses, governments and others to analyze “worst case” scenarios. In this flash flood example, did anyone think of the situation: 3:00 a.m., holiday weekend, flood plain packed with campers from other states, hundreds of young children at camps, several key officials on vacation or off-duty.

I’m confident the Secret Service trains over and over for worst case scenarios. But somewhat like a flash flood in hill country, or a wildfire in Pacific Palisades, or a hurricane in New Orleans, or a major injury for a farm family, being ready 99% of the time is not enough.

Historic quote by Will Rogers:

        “I am in the California Hospital, where they are going to relieve me of surplus gall, much to the politicians’ delight. I am thrilled to death. Never had an operation, so let the stones fall where they may.” DT #282, June 16, 1927

 

 

COLUMBUS, Ohio: President Trump succeeded in getting a “Big Beautiful Bill” through Congress, by the barest of margins. He signed it on July 4.

Democrats did not give up easily. They call it ugly, and claim 11 million poor Americans will lose medical care, and 5 million will go hungry. They say billionaires and millionaires will reap most of the benefits.

I have asked this question before, and have never gotten a straight answer: what percent of total income taxes should be paid by the top 10% of income earners? The only answer you’ll hear is “They need to pay their fair share!” (Meaning, pay more than they do now.)

What do you think is the “fair share?” Should the top 10% pay 60% of the total collected? That would mean the other 90% pay 40% to support the federal services we all receive.

This may surprise you. The most recent data is from 2022, and the top 10% paid 72% of the total. Should they pay more?

How about this number? The top 1% (1.5 million tax returns) paid 40% of the total.

When the dust settles on the new tax bill, these numbers won’t change much. With the continuation of the 2017 tax reductions, plus changes in taxes on tips, overtime, and child credits, many families in the $50,000 to $100,000 range will see tax benefits of $2000 to $5000. Most people on Social Security will get a $6000 bonus.

What else can we do to cheer up Democrats? A poll taken before Independence Day showed that 90% of Republicans say they are patriotic. But only a third of Democrats feel the same way, a big drop from a year or two ago.  Wages are increasing faster than inflation. Unemployment is only 4.1%. Stock market is high.

America is the land of opportunity regardless of which political party has the majority. The millions who will “lose” Medicaid and SNAP include able-bodied people without young children who get a job, and immigrants here illegally. All of us used to be against waste, fraud and abuse, but now it’s mostly Republicans.

Deporting illegal immigrant criminals fails to cheer up most Democrat leaders. They criticize the new ICE detention facility in Florida. Instead of the commonly used (funny) name, Alligator Alcatraz, one called it Alligator Auschwitz and claimed it’s a “concentration camp.” Apparently, a Democrat leader looked at aerial photos of Alligator Alcatraz and thought he spotted gas chambers beside the tents. Actually, they are huge air conditioning units.

Has our school system failed so completely that folks under 60 will accept ridiculous comparisons to the 1930s and ‘40s? Don’t they know that Hitler and the Nazis tortured, starved and killed 6 MILLION Jews, plus millions of others?

Will Rogers was a compassionate comforter for victims of fires, earthquakes, floods and other disasters. Today, Kerr County, Texas, needs our prayers and support. Almost a hundred residents and visitors died as intense rain in the hill country caused the Guadalupe River to rise 30 feet is less than an hour. The computer models that weather forecasters depend on indicated the rain would be less intense and concentrated at least 50 miles away. The storm hit overnight, about 3:00 a.m., while young girls at Camp Mystic and campers along the river were sleeping. The Salvation Army, Red Cross, and other legitimate charities are on-site providing aid and can use our generous donations.

Historic quote by Will Rogers:

        “I don’t believe our people that have never been around a flood area realize the tremendous need of these sufferers down on the Mississippi. It’s by far the worst thing that has happened in this country in years… I am going to put on my little one-man [show] for this great cause next Sunday night… They will get every cent that comes in, even if there is nobody there but my wife—who will have to pay to get in.” DT #236, April 25, 1927

The Senate is arguing over Trump’s so-called Big Beautiful Bill. Senator Schumer demanded that all 940 pages be read aloud to him and the other Senators. Did he sit there, listening intently and taking notes for the 16-hour read-a-thon? Not likely. Instead of asking a relay team of clerks to read it, they should have brought in the guy who does the disclaimers at the end of commercials for drugs. He could have finished the 940 pages in 2.5 hours flat.

After listening to the 940 pages, Republicans and Democrats act like it’s two totally different bills. Trump and the Republicans say if it is not passed, taxes will increase by $5 Trillion. Sen. Schumer and other Democrats say the bill will increase national debt by $4.5 Trillion. Both could be true. Trump cut income taxes in his first term. And Schumer is an expert at increasing the national debt.

Republicans are squabbling among themselves over the tax credits for State and Local Taxes (SALT). The current deduction limit is $10,000. That was passed in 2017. The intention was that state legislators and local officials would keep property and sales taxes low so most people would be able to deduct their entire SALT payments. But obnoxious elected officials balked, ignored taxpayers, and kept raising taxes. (The taxes on our house went up 40% in 5 years).

These officials, and many Republican Congressmen, are trying to raise the deduction to $40,000. A lot of folks in the middle of the country, especially ones who don’t even make $40,000 a year, can’t figure why residents of California, New York and New Jersey, for example, who make almost $500,000 should get to deduct all of their property taxes on their multi-million-dollar mansions. (My friends in San Francisco may remind me that a “million-dollar mansion” might be 2 bedrooms and 1 bathroom.) An analysis shows that more than 95% of a $40,000 SALT deduction benefit would go to the top 20%.

Maybe the best plan is to eliminate ALL deductions and reduce the tax rate. That would get a howl from lobbyists and almost everyone else, but would be a good plan in the long run.

Did President Trump push for the cease fire too soon? Should Israel have been allowed to blast Iran military facilities another week or two? I realize both sides were apparently running low on “ammunition” (missiles and launchers for Iran; Iron Dome anti-missiles for Israel).  Before the precise bombing of the nuclear sites, Trump had demanded “Unconditional Surrender.” The cease fire has allowed Khomeini to even claim they won. However, he knows that Trump wouldn’t hesitate to send those B-2s back again. So don’t be concerned about Iran jumping back in the “game” with their second-string nuclear scientists. (Their “first team” was eliminated by Israel.)

What happened to New York City? Out of the millions of Democrats, they could only find two interested in being mayor. You remember Andrew Cuomo. As governor during Covid he took actions that resulted in deaths of hundreds of old folks in nursing homes. Then a sex scandal led to his resignation. And the winner of the Democrat Primary, Zohran Mamdani, hates Jews and embraces illegal immigrants. He would ban the Police, close prisons, raise the minimum wage to $30, make bus rides free, and city employees would run all grocery stores.

Mamdani would raise taxes on billionaires and millionaires, especially if they live in a white neighborhood. He does not understand that those wealthy people, white and otherwise, will leave. And they will take the New York Stock Exchange, Wall Street banks, and other company headquarters with them. NYC could be the new Havana.

Florida came up with a good idea (actually a location) for a federal prison. But it’s not new. Almost fifty years ago I heard a great speaker from Kansas, Dr. Kenneth McFarland, talk about a problem facing society. I remember him saying, “You can’t rehabilitate people who were never habilitated in the first place.” He added, “They should be secured in a prison. You can easily keep them there with love, and understanding, and a ditch full of alligators.” (That last sentence is paraphrased, but I remember distinctly the line about alligators.) Instead of Dr. McFarland’s joke about bringing the alligators to the prison, Florida is taking the prison to the alligators.

Historic quotes by Will Rogers:

“Congress is so strange. A man gets up to speak and says nothing. Nobody listens, and then everybody disagrees.” Notes, undated

        “I am going out among the people whom New Yorkers call Rubes. But these people I am going out among are the people that look at New Yorkers and laugh.” WA # 147, October 4, 1925

A day after the U.S. conducted a secret, flawless attack on three uranium enrichment facilities, we don’t know for sure if Iran’s nuclear ambitions have been obliterated. Khomeini is still defiant, launching rockets into Israel, not against military targets, but aiming to kill ordinary citizens.

President Trump has said for months, or years, the leading terrorist state cannot have a nuclear bomb and missiles that can deliver those bombs to the United States. It’s common horse sense.

Today at the United Nations, the Iranian representative continued to claim their uranium was only for electric generation. Here are a couple of facts. Uranium for electric power has to be enriched to only 3 to 5%. Iran had enriched it to at least 60%. Also, the enrichment facility does not need to be 300 feet under a mountain.

This is not over; we are in danger here at home. About 20% of Iranians still shout “Death to America.” They intend to kill as many Americans as possible. Groups of Iranians and Iranian sympathizers are scattered throughout the country, especially in large cities. The Biden Administration allowed over 700 Iranians who crossed the border illegally to stay. While the vast majority of Iranian-Americans love the freedom of this country, it only takes a few radical Islamists to organize attacks. Among the prime suspects are a handful of university professors and students who hate Jews.

A key to the success of the flawless attack was secrecy. Other than those directly involved, no one knew of the attack until President Trump announced that the seven B-2 stealth bombers had dropped 14 “bunker buster” bombs and were headed home. A submarine had fired 30 cruise missiles into one of the uranium sites. About 125 aircraft assisted, especially fighter jets and refueling planes.

Naturally a few members of Congress howled that they should have been informed and allowed to vote on a declaration of war. Secrecy would have disappeared instantly. You can guess which ones would have immediately sent a text directly to Khomeini, warning the attack would start June 21, at 6:30 pm ET.

In case you are dubious, Iran has been at war with us since 1979. Before the radical Islamists took control of the country, the Persian people lived much like we do. American-style clothing was common. The country was prosperous.

In 1983 Iran killed 241 U.S. service members in Beirut. More fatal attacks during the next 42 years were met with minimal response.  President Trump is the first to take decisive action. Let’s hope it pays off with an uprising within Iran to kick out Khomeini and the mullahs.

Will Rogers would be happy to know the Oklahoma City Thunder won their first NBA championship tonight. It took 7 games for them to beat an inspiring, over-achieving Indianapolis Pacers team, 103-91. But Will would be shocked to know they are still playing basketball on June 22.

Historic quote by Will Rogers:

         “They are pretty bad, these big wars over commerce… But one over religion is really the most bitter.” WA #350, Sept. 8, 1929

Yesterday was Flag Day. In Washington, DC the Army held a huge parade to celebrate its 250^th anniversary. Yes, the Army was founded in 1775 with the single goal of separating the 13 colonies from a King.

While a lot of folks opposed spending $45 Million dollars on a parade, it is a bargain if it gives a huge boost for Army recruitment over the next few years.

Do you know how much the Army spends on marketing and advertising to attract enough young men and women each year to reach a goal of 60,000 recruits? Any guesses?

In 2022, the total for recruiting was $1.1 Billion. And only 45,000 joined, a 25% shortfall. Similar disappointing results for 2023.

With four months to go in the 2025 fiscal year, the Army has already signed 61,000 recruits.

“No Kings” parades were held across the U.S., including about 200 in California alone. Well, the Army defeated King George of England by 1783. In 1790 the U.S. Constitution was ratified, almost guaranteeing we could never be ruled by a King. The Constitution set up three separate branches of government: Executive, Legislative, and Judicial.

The organizers of the “No Kings” events probably don’t know that the closest any President came to having the power of a King was Franklin D. Roosevelt. And he wasn’t close despite appointing 8 of the 9 Justices of the Supreme Court and having huge majorities of his own party in Congress. Congress did not pass everything he wanted and the Supreme Court knocked out a few of FDR’s favorite laws.

Millions of “No Kings” marchers had fun waving horrifying signs and wearing T-shirts promoting 86 47. They should know that President Trump appointed only 3 of 9 Supreme Court Justices and has a hair-thin majority in Congress. And when we add the cost of police for those parades, and the continuing anti-ICE protests in LA and other cities, it probably will equal the cost of the Army parade.

Have you noticed how Israel infiltrated Iran? Israel even built a factory in Iran to build drones that were used to kill Iranian military leaders and top nuclear scientists. A lot of Iranians, especially women, oppose the rulers and are helping Israel. About 80% of Iranians don’t like being ruled by a King (Khamenei).

Here’s a concern: are the Chinese Communists infiltrating us in the same way? Hundreds of men from China have sneaked into the country, and thousands of our citizens hate Trump and love socialism. It is reasonable to assume Xi Jinping has planned a similar barrage of deadly attacks on multiple targets.

Happy Father’s Day. Even with all the distractions yesterday and the upcoming June 19^th celebrations, I have seen an abundance of wonderful messages on social media about fathers, both living and deceased. And so far, no one has complained about their dad being a King (for one day only).

Historic quote by Will Rogers:

     “Father had a day, but you can’t find anybody who remembers when it was…  It’s been so confused with April the first.”  Radio, on Mother’s Day, 1935

“I’m not advertising or trying to sell you anything.” Will Rogers said that on a radio broadcast in 1931. And I’m saying it now.

The “before and after” photos  (below) will never be seen on a TV commercial for Ozempic, Nutrisystem, Jenny Craig, Adkin’s, WW, or any other similar ad. Unlike most of those products, I’m not promising anything. This works for me, but may not work for you. HOWEVER, if you have failed at losing weight, I suggest you give it a solid, dedicated effort.

Bottom line: I eliminated about 90% of desserts, 90% of snacks, and in 14 months lost 50 pounds.

I’m sharing more personal information than usual so you know details. In September 2023, my doctor advised me to do “weight-bearing exercises.” So, I started exercising at the nearby YMCA, mainly building muscles (legs, but also arms and chest). In about 6 months, I had indeed added muscle. But I was disappointed that my weight had not changed. Then two granddaughters who are nutritionists explained that muscle weighs more than fat. Duh.

How can I lose pounds? I like ice cream, pie, cake, donuts, Doritos, peanuts, Hershey bars and sweet tea to name a few favorites. But I made an important change. I eliminated 90% of desserts, soft drinks, and salty snacks. I don’t add sugar or salt to anything. (My only snack is plain almonds.) The 10% allows me to eat “normal” on special occasions, meetings and conferences. Then, if I added a couple of pounds I intentionally cut back for a day or two.

Here’s my timeline. I weighed 225 in March 2024. I set a goal of dropping to 200, which is what I had weighed for several years. Seemed quite reasonable. Well, I got down to 200 in September. Wahoo! I decided this change was not so difficult, so I set another goal of 185, which is what I weighed fifty years ago. I reached 185 by the end of January. (Note that the holidays from Thanksgiving to New Years are always tough for weight loss.)

Then I decided on one more goal. 175 pounds! And I’ll admit, the last 5 pounds were tough, but I made it on May 1. Total loss of 50 pounds.

What I learned may help you or someone you love. I did not set a goal to lose 50 pounds. That would have seemed unreasonable. But getting down to 200 was reasonable. By then I was accustomed to different eating habits, and decided to set another goal, 185. Then the third and final goal, 175 pounds.

If you are wondering, I eat pretty normal for an old country boy. Breakfast is plain oatmeal with milk and a teaspoon of honey and a banana. Plus, coffee with cream. I don’t eat anything else until supper. (For several years I had skipped lunch, or eaten lightly.)  Foods that I typically choose from for supper include beef, potatoes (with butter), eggs, pork, cheese, bread, beans, beets, tomatoes, peppers, blueberries and peaches. I do my own grocery shopping; if I don’t buy it, I don’t eat it.

For you, eating with the family may require more determination. It’s hard to turn down cherry pie with ice cream if everyone else is eating it.

Losing weight with this plan will save money instead of costing more for pharmaceuticals or special foods.

However, you will want to buy new clothes to fit the new body. Interestingly, I still had a few shirts and pants in the back of the closet from earlier days that helped get me through the “transition” times. My waist shrank by 4 inches, and shirt size dropped from XL to M. (And I can wear a shirt size S if I want to show off.)

As I said at the top, this may not work for you. Note that I did not set a specific date for any step in the weight loss. If you decide to lose pounds to fit into a certain size outfit for a wedding or high school reunion, there’s more risk. One would be disappointment if you don’t reach that goal on time, and second, after the event you may revert to old eating habits.

For me, a key is the “allowable” 10%. Allowing yourself to indulge once in a while is easier than total denial of sweets and salty snacks. You can enjoy eating at a buffet restaurant or a family reunion where everyone brings a favorite food.

And be prepared for the honest question of concern from someone who hasn’t seen you in a year or two, “Are you okay?” Your answer may be, “YES, and far better than okay!”

Photos: January 2024 (speaking), and May 2025.

Randall Reeder
WillRogersToday (dot) com     614-477-0439

 

Countries around the world are mad at us for equalizing tariffs. They remind me of a beautiful woman who latches onto a wealthy man (or in reverse, a young guy with a rich lady). Everything is hunky-dory as long as the cash keeps flowing. But one day the wealthy man (or woman) admits to the loving companion, “Honey, I can’t afford this anymore. I’m in debt $36,000,000,000,000.00.”

See, our diplomats have used our wealth to make friends and calm stormy waters around the world. As Will Rogers wrote, “There’s the one thing no nation can ever accuse us of and that is Secret Diplomacy. Our foreign dealings are an Open Book, generally a Check Book.” (WA #45, Oct. 21, 1923)

President Trump thought he could reason with Putin to end the war in Ukraine “in one day.” But Putin cannot be reasoned with. Like Stalin, he doesn’t care how many of his own soldiers die, or how many Ukrainians he kills. He is determined to take ALL of Ukraine. And the fewer Ukrainians who survive the war, the better. Then Putin wants to take the other countries that were behind the Iron Curtain forty years ago.

China’s Communist leader, Xi Jinping, is watching Putin. If he succeeds in Eastern Europe, Xi will attack Taiwan with the same goal and brutality. And an open check book won’t persuade either Putin or Xi.

Elon Musk left Washington to return to building Teslas and finish plans to inhabit Mars. A lot of folks are thrilled. While he and his DOGE team uncovered horrible wasteful, useless spending, I agree that many good and needed Federal employees were fired or coerced into leaving. The DOGE guys are now in the different departments and agencies. While it proved nearly impossible to stop fraudulent projects already funded, don’t be surprised if the Secretaries and Agency Administrators cut future spending on ridiculous ventures and unneeded positions.

Historic quotes by Will Rogers:

“You will try and show that we are prosperous, because we HAVE MORE. I will show where we are NOT prosperous because we haven’t PAID for it YET.” Life magazine, Aug. 9, 1928

“There is dozens of great humanitarian things that could be done at very little cost, if the tax was properly applied. It’s the waste in government that gets everybody’s goat.” WA #622, Nov. 25, 1934

“There are 800 people at work in the Library of Congress. Didn’t know there was anybody there but a watchman. Why, that’s a librarian to each book… The total salary in there is $773,300, so the Democrats figure there is about $750,000 of this is a total waste to the country.” DT #2147, June 21, 1933

News from Washington lately has highlighted a total contrast. President Trump was in Saudi Arabia, Qatar and United Arab Emirates (UAE) and brought back promises of billions of investments and a new airplane for the Defense Department. With a lot of arm twisting, a big budget bill was passed by the House Republicans. Whether Senate Republicans will agree on the 1100-page bill is yet to be determined. Note that I said “Republicans” because so far, no Democrat has dared a ‘yes’ vote on it.

In contrast, news about Joe Biden and his Presidency has been sad. He is suffering from advanced prostate cancer. And half the country is just now learning that he suffered from declining mental capacity for most of his 4 years as President. I said “half the country” because their favorite TV news networks and newspapers failed to report the news. The other half were getting their news from the much-derided (faux) Fox News. (I realize this statement will upset some readers. But can you point to any newscaster on the traditional TV networks who questioned President Biden’s mental condition before the June 2024 debate?)

President Trump with his “tariff diplomacy” is causing financial gyrations around the world. Oddly, a lot of folks think Trump invented tariffs; that they did not exist previously. But the reality is that other countries have had higher tariffs on our goods than we had on theirs. That was a financial disadvantage for us. Most Americans would prefer zero tariffs everywhere.

Democrats are scrambling. With no apparent leader, they are left with only anti-Trump messaging. Oddly, Will Rogers noticed the same situation in November 1934, two years after FDR was elected. Switch party names, and FDR for Trump, and you are looking at 2026: “The Republicans have had a saying for some time, ‘The Roosevelt honeymoon is over.’ If there is one thing the Republican party has got to learn it is that you can’t get votes by just denouncing. You got to offer some plan of your own. They only had one platform, ‘Elect us, and maybe we can think of something to do after we get in, but up to now we haven’t thought of it, but give us a chance, we may.’”

Then two days later, Will wrote this: “The day after election I said the Republicans lost because they had nothing to offer but criticism. No plan. Denounce, but don’t suggest…It’s nothing but the old saying, ‘You can’t beat something with nothing.’… I imagine Roosevelt is wrong, but there ain’t nobody just smart enough to tell where he is wrong.”

On Memorial Day I’ll be attending a special memorial to a veteran of World War I. On Wildcat Road in Lewis County, West Virginia, a bridge will be dedicated to PFC William Lowther. Better known as “Uncle Bill” to folks around Walkersville, Ireland and Duffy, he lived to age 105. (And for me and my cousins, he really was our great-uncle.) I don’t know much about his experience in Europe, except that he learned how to take a rifle apart, clean it, and put it back together in total darkness. Uncle Bill was a sharpshooter. Even at 100, he could pick off a squirrel, groundhog or a buck deer.

Historic quotes by Will Rogers:

 “Another Decoration Day passed and Mr. Abraham Lincoln’s 300-word Gettysburg Address was not dethroned. I would try and imitate its brevity if nothing else. Of course, Lincoln had the advantage; he had no foreign policy message to put over. He didn’t even have a foreign policy. That’s why he is still Lincoln. (signed) Yours for shorter and better speeches,” DT #268, May 31, 1927

“From what I can gather from everyone I talk with, things are definitely picking up. If they just get more folks to working, there is no way to stop this country. Just quit listening to the politicians…. The Constitution will remain as is.” WA #655, July 14, 1935

COLUMBUS, Ohio: Will Rogers was good friends with Henry Ford. That friendship gave Will “permission” to joke about the Model T Ford. At one time, half the cars on the road were Model T Fords, not counting the ones on the side of the road, broke down.

Here’s Will, on his radio program, June 1, 1930: “You know, I was going to talk on Henry Ford last week, and I told you about mine going ‘Flooey’ on me when I started to drive in here last Sunday evening, and I was afraid I wouldn’t give Mr. Ford a fair deal. Well, the next morning I got a wire from Mr. Ford himself, saying ‘What was the matter?  Was the tank empty?’

          I know he has got quite a sense of humor.  A few years ago I was out to his home in Dearborn.  I was playing there with the Follies, and I went out to his home and it was the time when the Star car was supposed to be going to cut quite a dash in the Ford sales, so I asked him, ‘Mr. Ford, I know it is rather inquisitive, but in case these opposition things get to cutting the prices and all, just how cheap could you sell your car?’

          He said, ‘Well, Will, that is kind of personal but if the worst comes to the worst, I could give it away, as long as we retain the selling of the parts.  You know, Will, one of these things will shake off enough in a year to pay for itself.’”

            Here’s my own recent experience with one of Mr. Ford’s machines, my 7-year-old F-150. Is there anything more annoying than when the “engine light” flashes on? You have no idea whether it’s something simple like a gas cap too tight or a major overhaul. After driving for a few more days, with no apparent problem, I got it into my local Ford garage. They do wonderful work and I appreciate them because these modern-day vehicles are not built like the Model T.  Back then everything was simple. Ordinary men, and even women, could find and fix about any problem that popped up. (Except Will Rogers, who claimed he knew nothing about machines, “If I raised up the hood and a Rabbit jumped out, I wouldn’t know but what he belonged in there. I drive ’em, but I sho don’t try to fix ’em.”)

          So the head mechanic connected my smooth-running truck to a computer and a minute later discovered I needed a new catalytic converter. The labor charge for this discovery was $189, and the charge for the computer was $25. That was just to find the problem. The new catalytic converter cost $760, plus $4 for two nuts to hold it in place. Labor was $560. Now off hand, that seems a little steep when, by comparison, a rank-amateur thief can crawl under a car, remove a catalytic converter, and get away in 30 seconds. Even worse, I learned that a Ford F-150 has TWO of these $760 converters, meaning I can expect that annoying engine light to flash again in a few months.

The mechanic also recommended I get new spark plugs and rear brake pads. I know what you are thinking; didn’t you use to replace those yourself? Well, yes. By the time I was 14, I could replace the spark plugs in our 4-cylinder Ferguson tractor in about 20 minutes. In later years it was an easy job on our cars and Ford pickups. But now, the engine compartment is so full of chips and other paraphernalia that it can take an expert mechanic to even locate the spark plugs. This expertise comes with a price; labor cost was $50. For each plug!

Two brake pads and rotor assemblies cost $420 and labor was $280.

He also replaced the air filter element ($27) with labor only $23. (The air filter must be twice as easy to locate as a spark plug.)

With an oil change and a charge for miscellaneous shop materials the total bill was $3100 plus sales tax. That included $1600 for labor for a day and a half.

Now I ain’t complaining. I will point out, however, $3100 is more than the total cost for my first new car. You’ve heard the old joke about the customer complaining to the mechanic, “This cost is outrageous. I didn’t even pay my doctor that much to fix my migraine headache.” The mechanic replied, “Yes, that’s why I quit doctoring.”

I know that some of the charges for labor and parts goes to keep the lights on, heat or cool the huge shop, and pay the clerk who adds up all these charges and collects the money. The good news is that vehicles today get double the gas mileage compared to the years before anyone heard of catalytic converters and unleaded gas. And spark plugs, brake pads and catalytic converters last 90,000 miles.

A few closing compliments by Will Rogers about Mr. Ford, “There is more jokes told about it than any other thing. A Ford car and a Democratic Convention has kept a lot of us comedians alive.  He is the first man to realize that every joke sold a car and every joke bought one… A Ford car and a marriage certificate is the two cheapest things there is. We no more than get either one than we want to trade them in for something better…I always liked Mr. Ford. I think he is a great man, and I wish we had a lot more like him.” (Radio, June 1, 1930)

Will Rogers on his Sunday evening radio broadcasts paid tribute on Mother’s Day, in 1930 and 1935. Here are brief excerpts.

“This is Mother’s Day. Of course, it’s pretty late in the evening now to remind you of it. If you didn’t know it before, there’s not much you can do about it now, unless you, well, you might possibly shame you into going to a florist.

They’re keeping open this evening just to accommodate late consciences…

My own mother died when I was ten years old.  My folks have told me that what little humor I have comes from her.  I can’t remember her humor but I can remember her love and her understanding of me. 

Of course, the mother I know the most about is the mother of our little group.  She has been for twenty-two years trying to raise to maturity four children, three by birth and one by marriage. You know, there ought to be some kind of a star given to any woman that can live with a comedian.  Now, that little compliment ought to repay for the flowers that I forgot to get today…

Florists, they got mothers, too. But they’ve got more flowers than they’ve got mothers, and they’ve got a great organization.

The florists, they’ve just practically corralled this Mother’s Day business…

There’s nothing in the world more beautiful than flowers. The florists and the horticulturists, they’ve done great things to nurse these flowers along until they’re beautiful beyond anything we could possibly think of. 

And every home that can possibly afford ’em should have flowers all you can. But on the other hand, there’s an awful lot of need and want in the country, and I got a plan. My plan is not to eliminate flowers. I’m strong for flowers, but they’ve just got one drawback. You can’t eat ’em. And I imagine an awful lot of mothers today would not have rebelled if you’d sent ’em a ham. Yeah, a cut of beef or a whole lamb or something.

Suppose the meat growers had been on the job and linked Mother’s Day up with their organization like the florists have. If they’d done that, instead of receiving a bunch of hollyhocks, she’d receive a cluster of pork chops.”

If you are reading this as soon as I send it, you still have time to rush to the store. Based on what I saw yesterday at Walmart, Sam’s Club and Lowe’s, there should be plenty of flowers still available. And the grocery stores have meat display cases full of beef, ham, lamb, and pork chops. If you wait until tomorrow, the flowers might be half price. But not the meat.

I intended to also write about Henry Ford and my experience with the “engine light” flashing on my F-150. But I’ll save that for another Weekly Comments.