COLUMBUS: The Federal Reserve Board cut interest rates again yesterday. Alan Greenspan said if this cut doesn’t turn the economy around, next time he’ll eliminate interest all together.

And if the country don’t start picking up by Christmas, he’s looking over a plan whereby instead of charging interest, he’ll start paying you to borrow the money. The Government will say, “Here’s a hundred dollars. Next year pay me back the hundred, minus a couple of dollars for your trouble.” So you get a hundred to use for a year, and then pay back the Treasury $98.

You might ask, “Well, it sounds good for me, but what about the Government, won’t they go broke, giving out a hundred and only get back 98?” Not at all… see, normally when they send out a hundred they don’t get nothing back.

Jesse Helms of North Carolina announced today he will retire from the Senate next year. No word yet from Strom Thurmond or Gary Condit.

There’s good news from Chicago… Paul Harvey has his voice back. It ain’t a hundred percent, but he’s good for five minutes a day. Some may argue, but I think if anybody in this country can lay claim to being the Voice of America, it’s him.

Last Saturday I got invited to annoy a bunch of old tractor owners and admirers. It was the tractors that was old, but some of ’em run like new. The tractors are Minneapolis-Molines, and they were all built between 1929 and 1970. Over a hundred of these folks from all over the country were there, and many brought their tractors with them.

They met up in Holmes County, Ohio. That’s the heart of Amish country and there’s no better place to hold a big Show of these classic tractors. No matter how old they are, in Holmes County they look like modern farm machinery.

One of the farmers has 95 M-M’s, and they all run. Another has 12, and only one acre of ground. For the fellow that only has one, he is just as passionate about it because it’s the one he grew up with.

I have told this to some of you before, but it’s worth repeating. A couple of years ago I saw a bumper sticker that read, “A Farm boy always remembers two things… his first kiss, and his first tractor.” And most of ’em remember the tractor better.

Historical quotes from Will Rogers:

“All the financial papers are talking about how cheap money is now, with the Federal Reserve banks, around 3 and 3 1/2 per cent. I don’t see why they don’t say it’s half of one per cent, for there is no way getting any of it, anyway.” DT #1219, June 22, 1930

“The farms are all going back to the horse and mule. You can raise what he eats. But can’t raise what a tractor eats. A horse will keep on going even when it’s hungry, but let the old tractor get hungry and, brother, he stops.” WA #561, Sept 21, 1933