COLUMBUS: The World Series starts tomorrow night, and you’ll get to see it. Rudy’s Yankees rose to the occasion and got in there, so Mr. Murdock has figured he has nothing to lose by showing it on Fox. That new team in Arizona is ready for ’em.
This anthrax bacteria has got some folks worried about opening their U.S. mail. Three people have died, and two of them worked for the Post Office, so just carrying the mail seems twice as dangerous as opening it. I hope they catch the fellows responsible for this anthrax and give ’em a dose of their own mail, without the antidote.
Meanwhile, stop worrying about anthrax. Just shove it out of your mind. If you can avoid opening mail while crossing a busy street, or while driving on the highway, or while blow drying your hair in the hot tub, you’re more likely to die of stress brought on by the worrying.
Farmers in our middle west are moving right along with harvesting soybeans and corn. I hear from Iowa that crop yields are surprisingly good, but the price is so low it’s hardly worth hauling to town. Now you might be wondering, if this grain don’t get to town, how are the rest of us going to eat? Are they going to let us starve?
See, now that might be something to worry about. Except for one thing. Farmers never let disgustingly worthless prices stop delivery of the goods in the past, so they won’t start now. The government payments will help the farmers, at least those that get ’em.
In Washington Dr. Bernadine Healy announced she will step down as head of the Red Cross in December. She says after two years it’s time to pull the old needle out of her arm and turn the whole situation over to, well, to some new blood. Off hand I don’t know any doctors ready to take on this huge operation, but I can think of one man imminently qualified. And he’ll be out of work on January 1. That’s Mayor Rudy Giuliani. If he can figure a way to run the Red Cross from a box seat behind third base in Yankee Stadium, he’ll accept.
Next weekend I’ll be back in Claremore and Oologah for a birthday party and a big parade. You may remember last year, I got to ride in Gene Pyeatt’s 1921 Model T Ford truck. And I was looking forward to it again. But Gene told me he drove it over to Eureka Springs, Arkansas, and the crankshaft broke. Well, with old Uncle Henry spending all his time fixing flat Firestone tires and replacing ignition systems, he don’t have time to recall Model T crankshafts. Gene told me he can probably come up with another vehicle. If not, maybe I can get a loaner saddle horse.
Historic quotes from Will Rogers:
“My idea of the height of conceit would be a political speaker that would go on the air when that World Series is on.” DT #683, Oct.3, 1928
“(The Yankees) offered Babe Ruth the same salary that (President) Hoover gets. Babe claims he should have more. He can’t appoint a commission to go up and knock the home runs. He has to do it all himself.” DT # 1078, Jan. 8, 1930