Will finds football and politics unpredictable

COLUMBUS: Columnists don’t often make good prognosticators, but two weeks ago I nailed it with my prediction on college football: “You can expect more upsets. Nothing has been as predictable this year as unpredictability. If your team isn’t ranked near the top, why you’re fortunate.”

The bowl games chose up sides Sunday night. Louisiana State and Ohio State drew the long straws so they get to play in the so-called BCS championship game. At least a half dozen other teams claim they are just as deserving, and they’re probably right.

When it comes to these big bowl games, I’m betting on the underdog.

If the elections in Iowa and New Hampshire are as surefire as college football games, why don’t be shocked if there’s an upset or two. If Pitt can win, why not Kucinich. In Iowa polls, Clinton and Romney were leading two weeks ago, now it’s Obama and Huckabee. By Christmas it may be Richardson and Thompson.

If you want a predictable election go to Russia. Their polls are never wrong. Hugo Chavez in Venezuela is trying to learn from Russia, but his election Sunday was more like Florida’s than Russia’s, kind of a tossup. Chavez is determined to replace Castro as our Chief Annoyer south of the border. Only difference between ’em is that Castro has sugar and Chavez has oil. We’re gluttons for sugar, but we’re practically starved for oil.

Speaking of gluttons, I read in the newspaper where the Surgeon General wants Santa Claus to go on a diet. The way the economy is goin’, with gas prices and mortgage rates, the whole country will be slimmer this Christmas. If Santa is willing to work off a few pounds I’ll join him. We can probably round up a few others with excess flesh to shed.

Historic quote from Will Rogers:

“Say that Venezuela is quite a country. They have a fellow named Gomez…and he really runs it. They might call him a dictator, but they are the only ones that seem to get anything done in these times.” DT #1477, April 17, 1931