Tim Russert’s next interview

COLUMBUS: Just when the Midwest was all prepared for a drought this summer, up pops these record rainstorms in Iowa, Indiana, Wisconsin and some other states. If the river that runs through your town is ten feet deeper than ever in history, like it was in Cedar Rapids, it’s out of your hands. Either move to the third floor or buy a boat.

You can understand why those folks are saying, We had our big flood in 1993, we weren’t due another one for 500 years. It’s not just floods, we’ve got tornados and wild fires and extreme heat causing havoc.

Congress continues to be confused on gasoline. Putting more taxes on oil would be like adding a tax on farmers to get ’em to raise more food. What we need in Congress is fewer lawyers and more economists, or at least more folks with common sense. Next they’ll investigate why corn is over seven dollars a bushel without bothering to find out that corn don’t grow well under water.

We lost a good newsman last Friday. Tim Russert was a tough interviewer on “Meet the Press” but was beloved and respected by his co-workers, competitors and practically everybody in Washington. He was best known for his thorough research on what his guests had said years earlier.

I can imagine Tim Russert up there in Heaven today, interviewing Jesus…

Tim: You stated, as reported in Matthew, Chapter 7, that we should “be on guard against false prophets; they come to you looking like sheep on the outside, but on the inside they are really like wolves.”

Jesus: Yes, and I still stand by those words today. I know you spent many Sunday mornings stripping the wool off those wolves’ backs.

Tim: You said, “Happy are those who work for peace. Happy are those who are merciful to others. Happy are those who are humble.”

Jesus: Yes, and there are many more ways for people to find happiness.

Tim: You also stated “everyone will have to give account of every useless word he has ever spoken.”

Jesus: We had to loosen up a bit on that one. It was knocking out three-fourths of the politicians, and all the comedians.

Now, wouldn’t that be a delightful way to spend an hour on Sunday morning.

Historic quotes from Will Rogers:

“You could transfer Congress over to run Standard Oil or General Motors, and they would have both things bankrupt in two years.” WA #307, Nov. 11, 1928

“One time the Government split up Standard Oil into 31 parts, and in two years each one of the 31 was bigger than the original. So it looked like they just thrived on being split up.” WA #378, March 23, 1930

“What has the poor farmer done against the Almighty and the Republican administration that he should deserve all this?
If it’s not the heat, it’s the deep snow.
If it’s not the drought, it’s the floods.
If it’s not the boll weevil, it’s the tariff.
If it’s not the cinch bugs, it’s the Federal Reserve.
If it’s not relief he needs, why, it’s rain.
But there is one pest that he is always free from, that’s the income tax.” DT #1258, Aug. 6, 1930