Weekly Comments Archive
Archived Issue
Sunday, July 5, 2009
ISSUE #558
#558 July 5, 2009

U.S. Senate gains another humorist

COLUMBUS: Al Franken finally got into the Senate. It was a tight race, and it took the lawyers eight months to figure out who won because they were getting paid by the hour. The Republicans in Minnesota set a record in a losing cause: the most money ever spent to keep a comedian out of the Senate.

Dan Thomasson, a fine syndicated newspaper columnist, quoted “me” in his article Sunday, “Al Franken, the comedian turned politician, should be right at home in Congress, which Will Rogers once described as the greatest collection of humorists in the world.” Well, Dan, I appreciate the mention. You’re right, I did refer to Congress a number of times as a bunch of comedians, but never did I use “greatest.” They’ve got too much ego as it is.

If you’re in the Southeastern states, keep an eye out for eight bicyclists who are riding from North Carolina all the way to Oklahoma on the “Trail of Tears.” In case you don’t remember your history, President Andrew Jackson got the Indian Removal Act passed by Congress to make all Indians move west of the Mississippi River. The Supreme Court, under John C. Marshall, said, “No, you can’t do that.” But ole Andy defied the Supreme Court, and had the Army round up the Cherokees and four other tribes at gunpoint and forced them to leave their homes and head west. About one out of every four Cherokees died before they reached what is now Oklahoma. So if you live near that route through Georgia, Alabama, Tennessee, Missouri and Arkansas, keep an eye out for those bicycles and clap as they go by.

California is putting on a memorial service for Michael Jackson. Gov. Schwarzenegger missed a big opportunity to trim the state deficit. More than a million and a half people wanted to come to Los Angeles for the service, but California only allowed 17,500. See, they should have moved it to some wide-open spot outside of town, invited everybody, and had state employees run all the concessions. By monopolizing the sales and stretching the service to 3 or 4 days, why California could have cleared a billion dollars just on cold drinks.

Governor Palin announced she is resigning. She hasn’t called me to explain why she’s quitting, so I’ll just let the other commentators do all the speculating.

Historic quotes by Will Rogers:

“Politics is the best show in America and I am going to keep on enjoying it. So on with the show…. One thing about the Democrats, they never put on a dull show.” WA #521, Dec. 18, 1932

“Compared to (Congress) I’m an amateur, and the thing about my jokes is they don’t hurt anybody. You can say they’re funny, or they’re horrible, or they’re good, or whatever, but they don’t do any harm. But with Congress every time they make a joke it’s a law… and every time they make a law, it’s a joke.” Radio broadcast, May 5, 1935

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