Will offers tips on government spending… and eggs

COLUMBUS: Washington is on vacation. President Obama is at Martha’s Vineyard in Massachusetts where he traveled after a day at the beach in Florida where he met up with his wife returning from a week in Spain.

Congress is back home. Actually, no one has seen them. Last August they held town hall meetings that caused such a ruckus (remember?), so this year they are holed up in the basement.

All except Vice-President Biden. He come out and said don’t be concerned about the economy, enjoy the rest of the summer, and things will look brighter when Congress gets back to work in a month. In other words, if you are out of a job think of it as a long vacation.

The President has so often been on the opposite side of what people want that he’s sitting up there on a sailboat wondering, “Ain’t there something I can be in favor of that the majority of Americans will agree with me.” On illegal immigration, the mosque, health care, government jobs, energy taxes, income taxes and inheritance taxes – he’s been on the short end of all these.

Well, here’s my suggestion that would make everybody cheer him and forget the past. The President should announce tomorrow that Football is a great sport and that we should all support our favorite teams, whether in the NFL, college, high school or peewee. But don’t be surprised if he messes up and instead of football he says soccer.

A long time ago I said, Be glad you don’t get all the government you pay for. Times sure have changed. Today, we got more government than we know what to do with, and we’re only paying for 60 percent of it. China is covering the rest. If we had to pay the total bill, we would all end up at the Poor Farm.

What do we do with all this excess government? The part of it you get yourself, just refuse it. Say, “No, it’s government money, and it’s tainted.  And I don’t believe in the government spending all this money, and hence I don’t take any part of it.” (Radio, Apr. 7, 1935)

Here’s a public service announcement about Eggs. If you plan to eat eggs, make sure they are well cooked. If on the other hand you intend only to throw them at a rotten politician, I suggest Blagojevich. He was saved by a lone juror, likely bought off by the Chicago mafia. He’ll be harder to get behind bars than Al Capone. Frankly, I don’t care if he’s free, if he’ll just shut up and disappear. Like Congress this August.

Historic quotes from Will Rogers:

“Looks like the taxpayers in the U. S. are the only folks hiring any help nowadays. A private business, when it don’t do any business, don’t use anybody. But the less business the public has the more we hire to tend to it. There is but one county institution that needs enlarging, and that’s the Insane place; put us all in there till we know enough to vote to cut out at least 50 percent of our governing expenses.” DT #1846, July 5, 1932

 “Sure, the government can help us on everything – if we just furnish ‘em the money to do it with.” Notes, undated.

“What the government has got to do is live as cheap as the people.” DT #1990, Dec. 20, 1932

 “It costs ten times more to govern us than it used to, and we are not governed one-tenth as good.” DT #1770, March 27, 1932