Weekly Comments Archive
Archived Issue
Sunday, August 21, 2016
ISSUE #880
A 3-way race for President: Clinton, Trump & Rogers

While the “Will Rogers for President” campaign continues to roll smoothly, both of my esteemed opponents are hitting potholes and speed bumps.

Donald Trump has shaken up the Campaign Manager positions. Paul Manafort was let go. Will Rogers has no such problem: “I have no Campaign Manager to take care of.”  Trump has speechwriters preparing his remarks. He’s still learning how to read off a teleprompter, but he’s getting better.

Hillary Clinton is facing another round of questions about her private email server, and this time she is under oath to tell the truth. I had assumed she was under oath when questioned by the FBI and by Congress, but I guess not. The questions will be in writing and she will have a month to come up with the answers. She’ll have more lawyers than Trump has speechwriters working on the precise wording to each question. Their goal will be, as I wrote in 1935: The minute you read something and you can’t understand it you can almost be sure that it was drawn up by a lawyer. Then if you give it to another lawyer to read and he don’t know just what it means, why then you can be sure it was drawn up by a lawyer. Every time a lawyer writes something he is writing so that endless others of his craft can make a living out of trying to figure out what he said. Of course perhaps he hadn’t really said anything; that’s what makes it hard to explain.”

The Clintons are also getting hammered over the tens of millions of dollars given to their Foundation, especially by foreign governments and shady characters while she was Secretary of State. Here’s my suggestion. Follow the example of their friend Warren Buffett, and give all the money in the Clinton Foundation, every penny, to the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation.  Do it now, not after the election.  If she gets elected, after four or eight years in the White House they can start over like they did in 2001 when she said they were dead broke.

I’m ready to challenge the Republican candidate to a debate. “I will meet you in joint debate– in any Joint you name.” I hear that Trump can’t find anyone to practice against before taking on Clinton Sept. 26, so he just might accept. I can even buy a blonde wig. Of course I already wear pants.

The Olympics ended in Brazil with Americans claiming over a hundred medals, including 46 Gold. Good sportsmanship from all the world’s athletes, except for one swimmer who I won’t name.

Louisiana is suffering from a thousand-year flood. And it has nothing to do with the Mississippi River or a hurricane. Twenty inches of rain, and maybe more coming; 40,000 homes flooded. Here’s a taste of what Will wrote when the Mississippi flooded in 1927:  “BATON ROUGE, La., June 2 (1927): I have flew over more water today than Lindbergh did, only this had housetops sticking out of it.”   (in other articles)  “A Navy flier took me for hundreds of miles over nothing but a sea of water and housetops.  If you have never seen a flood you don’t know what horror is… I don’t really believe that 80 or 90 per cent of the people realize just what flood disaster means.”

Historic quote by Will Rogers: (campaign for President, 1928)

“Our support will have to come from those who want nothing, and have the assurance of getting it…We won’t pay a cent for votes.  We want voters but they must be amateurs.”


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