Weekly Comments Archive
Archived Issue
Monday, December 7, 2020
ISSUE #1040
Cat fight in White House

More than half of us have a pet, so it makes sense that we love animal stories. Watching movies like “Old Yeller” and “101 Dalmatians” or old television shows “Rin Tin Tin” and “Lassie” are a good diversion from politics.   Sometimes animals and politics go together.

President-Elect Biden announced a couple of weeks ago that he had a dog rescued from a shelter that would go with the Bidens to the White House. That seemed like a timely, hard-hitting story for the New York Times, especially since no four-legged friends had graced the White House in four years. Then the story got more interesting. Our future 77-year old President stepped out of the shower, dripping wet, chased Rover down the hall, slipped on a throw rug and cracked a bone in his foot. (Yeah, try to get that image out of your head.) Fortunately, the foot is recovering nicely.

Shortly after the dog news was leaked, cat lovers protested the selection of a dog as the official pet. They’re tired of this pet discrimination. A lot of Presidents have had dogs. Can you name one with a cat? No.  Biden has promised diversity, and all we’ve heard about for two hundred years is dogs, dogs, dogs. We’ll have a Vice-President who is female (a first) whose roots reach all the way to India and Jamaica (definitely a first). It’s high time we get a “First Cat,” regardless of its ancestry.

With all this pressure from 30 million cat lovers, the Bidens are adding a stray cat, even though there’s no mice to catch (that we know of). Here’s the problem: pairing up a cat and dog that are strangers is akin to matching AOC and Jim Jordan on Dancing with the Stars. Salsa, tango, swing your partner and do-si-do. Don’t expect to see the cat and dog waltz.

The only way I can imagine to eliminate conflict is to confine the new cat to the East end and let the dog have the West. Pretty soon the cat will be running his end of the White House. Not to be outdone, the dog will quickly train the President to walk him out to the Rose Garden where he can pick out a bush and, uhh, fertilize it.

President Reagan had the best idea: horses. Of course, he kept them on his California ranch. Can you imagine a horse in the Oval Office?

Well, maybe Mister Ed.

Historic quotes by Will Rogers:

“I love a dog; he does nothing for political reasons.” DT #2288, Dec. 3, 1933

“A man that don’t love a horse, there is something the matter with him. If he has no sympathy for the man that does love horses then there is something worse the matter with him.” WA #88, Aug, 17, 1924

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