Weekly Comments Archive
Archived Issue
Monday, December 28, 2020
ISSUE #1043
COVID relief and a budget with mythical dollars

Americans are relieved today. President Trump signed the budget bill. But it’s still up in the air whether the check will be for $600 or $2000 or something in between. The President wants to tie the bigger COVID checks to cutting out the hundred Billion in frivolous spending here and abroad. Speaker Pelosi jumped on the idea of handing out $2000, but stopped short of chopping any pork. Senator Joni Ernst, an Iowa hog farmer, got elected because she knows how to “cut pork.” I haven’t heard her views yet on slicing fat off this budget.

There are other appropriations in the $900 Billion COVID part of the budget that are directed where they are needed most, including more vaccines. Combined with the overall budget bill, you can always find items that make you shake your head. You may remember the Lincoln Center got millions in relief several months ago and promptly laid off 100 employees. The Lincoln Center gets millions more in this budget, so I guess they will fire another hundred.

A university researcher will get a million dollars to ask Americans if they like to eat bugs. You and I can save ‘em a million; the answer is “No!” Fire ants might spice up a bowl of chili, but I prefer hot pepper. Honey tastes sweeter than honey bees. A cockroach smothered in chocolate still tastes like a cockroach. Even a horse would say “neigh” to eating a bucket of oats and horse flies.

Congress put in a Billion to build a new Smithsonian Museum just for women. Another museum? Museums are shutting down. A better plan is to clear out half of the Smithsonian exhibits devoted to men and replace ‘em with women’s inventions. That would save the Billion dollars and attract more women visitors, plus a few curious men. Take corsets for example. Replace the old whalebone corset exhibit (definitely not invented by a woman) with a display of Spanx.

Historic quotes by Will Rogers:

“The budget is a mythical bean bag. Congress votes mythical beans into it, and then tries to reach in and pull real beans out.” DT #2047, Feb. 24, 1933

“Every statesman wants to vote appropriations, but is afraid to vote taxes… We never will get anywhere with our finances till we pass a law saying that every time we appropriate something, we got to pass another bill along with it stating where the money is coming from.” DT #1733, Feb. 12, 1932

“The national problem in this country is not who shall be relieved and whose money shall relieve him, but who shall be the one that plays Santa Claus, and actually hands out the presents.” Radio, Apr. 21, 1935

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