Weekly Comments Archive
Archived Issue
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
ISSUE #391
Dreaming of a Green Christmas

# 391, December 21, 2005

COLUMBUS: Mr. President, in case you are listening in, anything I say that might sound positive about those terrorists is purely accidental and unintentional. Yes, I admit I have readers in that Middle East region. But the ones I know about are more pro-American than a lot of Americans I could name off hand.

To my readers in and around New York City, you are getting an early holiday thanks to your transit workers. It seems they not only want to retire before 55, they want to retire a week before Christmas. When you make folks either stay home or walk 20 blocks to work, they’re going to be figuring out how the trains and buses can be run entirely by computers and robots. Then where will those guys jobs be?

Here in Columbus it’s been cold and snowy all of December. Most folks would not object if it warmed up and we could see a patch of green here and there peeking through the snow on Christmas morning. Only ones that might complain about not having a White Christmas are folks who want to ride their one-horse open sleigh to Grandma’s for dinner, and there aren’t many of those in Ohio unless you count the Amish. Santa in a bathing suit would be a nice change.

Merry Christmas to all, from both of us (Randall and Will).

Historic quotes from Will Rogers: (on Christmas)

“This was a very happy Christmas for me, in fact the best I have enjoyed in years. The shirts my wife gave me were the right size for the first time since wedlock. Of course, they were the wrong color, but one, if married, must not be too particular. For awhile it looked like I would spend a perfect Christmas. Then about noon a necktie arrived. I just looked out at the audience from the stage Christmas night and I laughed more at the funny ties than they did at my act. Men always wear ’em one night out of courtesy but the second night was back to normalcy….

Lots of people had kinder lost their faith in the real being of Santa Claus, but a thing happened in Washington that made me absolutely certain there is a Santa Claus. Didn’t CONGRESS ADJOURN? Now let any skeptic deny that that wasn’t the greatest gift to a nation from an all wise Santa Claus. Be a good joke on Congress if Mr. Coolidge didn’t call them back.” WA #108, Jan. 4, 1925

“Of course the whole thing started in a fine spirit. It was to give happiness to the young, and another holiday to the old, so it was relished by practically everybody. It was a great day, the presents were inexpensive and received with much joy and gratification, and it was a pleasure to see the innocent little souls as they rushed down to the big room with the fireplace on Christmas morning in their bare feet, and generally the back end of their little sleepers unbuttoned and a dragging. They remembered right where they had hung their stocking, and they dived into it with great glee and anticipation. No matter what they dug out, it was great. It was just what they wanted him to bring for they had confidence in him. The merest little toy was a boon to their young lives, and what a kick it was to the parents to have them rush back up to the bedroom and show you ‘what Santa brought.'” WA # 367, Jan. 5, 1930


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