Weekly Comments Archive
Archived Issue
Sunday, April 8, 2007
ISSUE #451
Easter gifts, Snowmen and Congress

#451, April 8, 2007

COLUMBUS: Easter Sunday started with a rare surprise. Looked out the window and saw colored eggs being hidden by Frosty the Snowman. Anybody living downwind from a Lake got a foot of snow, except Lake Okeechobee or Pontchartrain.

It may have been cold outside where you live, but I bet it was mighty warm once you got in the church. Preachers have learned when the pews are full on Easter, the ladies want to keep their bonnets on, but not fur coats.

Everywhere was cold today, not just up north. Texas, Tennessee, Georgia. At The Masters the spectators at Amen Corner gave up cheering and instead prayed for heat. Zach Johnson of Iowa won because he traded his golf gloves for mittens.

Most folks don’t like snow and ice on Easter. You just watch, someone will ask Congress to set Easter on 4th Sunday of the month. Billy Graham and the Pope may have to show ’em it’s a holiday you can’t mess with.

This cold spell is a big setback for the global warming folks. Scientists won’t be swayed by a late cold spell, but voters are a different breed. Mr. Gore may have to postpone his run until 2012.

The Iranian dictator said he released the British hostages as an “Easter gift.” I doubt Christians will let a radical Muslim get away with rewriting the Ten Commandments. No matter what he says, “Thou shalt not steal” does not mean it’s ok if you return the goods in two weeks.

Historic quotes from Will Rogers:

“I bet any Sunday could be made as popular at church as Easter is if you made ’em fashion shows, too. The audience is so busy looking at each other that the preacher just as well recite Gunga Din. We will do anything, if you just in some way turn it into a show.” DT #2718, April 22, 1935

“I left Los Angeles from over in San Fernando valley on the American Airways just at daybreak on Easter morning. They were having Easter sunrise service in the Hollywood Bowl. Well it was so misty and foggy this morning, they might have got up before daylight and parked two miles away from the place. For I never saw as many cars in one place in my life. But they never had any sunrise service, for no one but an Aerial Magician could have told when the sun did rise on that day. Old California fell down on ’em. It was so misty and foggy that we dident think we could get away, but these Planes all have radio now, so they got word that there was fine weather all along the line… Honest, if people knew how fast and comfortable and safe it is on a Plane they would never travel any other way.” WA #434, April 19, 1931


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