Weekly Comments Archive
Archived Issue
Sunday, June 28, 2020
ISSUE #1018
Endangered Statues and Police

Cowtown: Statues have become our newest endangered species.

What do these statues have in common? Christopher Columbus, Robert E. Lee, Ulysses S. Grant, George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Francis Scott Key, Abraham Lincoln, Teddy Roosevelt, Andrew Jackson, William Penn Adair, and Will Rogers.

And Speaker Pelosi plans to, personally, pull down eleven other statues in the Capitol Rotunda.

Most of these statues have been around a hundred years. If they are removed from public sight it will be interesting to see in 5 or 10 years how much the IQ of offended individuals has changed. Their wages will undoubtedly rise. Our great country, finally, will be blessed with peace and harmony.

Are you wondering what these famous and honorable men did to deserve scorn? A few are obvious, but for others you really have to dig deep to find something to be mad about. It’s kinda like a person who got stung by a honeybee and demanded we get rid of all honeybees. Wait, honeybees are essential for pollinating crops, and give us delicious honey. But no, the stinger means they’ve got to go.

All the statues listed above, except Will Rogers, have been attacked. (Actually, the Will Rogers statue at Lubbock gets “attacked” by Texas Tech students before every football game, with red crepe paper.) The statue at the main entrance to the House of Representatives is in danger if Speaker Pelosi finds out his full name is William Penn Adair Rogers. Will was named after Confederate Col. William Penn Adair. Will’s dad, Clem, served under Col. Adair.

You may have noticed I started this column with the dateline listed as Cowtown, not Columbus. With all the uproar, this town already removed two of its three Columbus statues and changing the name is being hotly debated. If it’s put to a popular vote, Columbus, Ohio, has no more chance of changing its name than does the John Wayne Airport in California.

Defund the Police has become a popular slogan among Democrats in a few cities. But don’t be concerned about those officers being knocked out of a job. With no police department, every one of them will receive a half dozen offers to become a guard for city businesses and scared homeowners. You’ll also see dozens of new businesses that build walls and high fences with secure gates around homes or entire communities.

Historic quotes by Will Rogers:

“There is no country in the world where a person changes from a hero to a goat… as they do with us. And all in no change to them. The change is always in us.” Notes. (undated)

“This thing of being a hero, about the main thing to do is to know when to die. Prolonged life has ruined more men than it ever made.” DT #616, July 17, 1928

“Policemen used to carry a Billy that they used to crack over Crooks’ Heads. Now they have discarded that and have a Whistle. That’s why there is so much crime. Whistling at a Crook is not near as effective as to Crack him On the Bean with a Hickory Stick.” WA #129, May 31, 1925

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