At his press conference last week, President Biden announced plans to go “out performing” around the country. His speaking tour will highlight all the major accomplishments where he “outperformed” expectations of 70 million Americans who elected him in November 2020.
So, where has he outperformed in his first year in office? Well, in several areas. Take energy for example. By simply blocking pipelines and eliminating drilling on some oil-rich lands, he raised the price of crude to $85 a barrel. That caused folks to drive less and, for those who can afford it, order a new Electric Vehicle (EV).
Somewhat related, President Biden supports authentic union jobs. To him, any job that’s not union, is not authentic. So EVs built with union workers are subsidized but others, like a Tesla, are not. Public school teachers who belong to a union are listened to and are able to set federal policy. That’s going way above and beyond expectations.
The President outperformed on our Mexican border. He wanted more immigrants and those numbers have skyrocketed. Oddly, while he supports Ukraine’s border against Russian’s crossing it, thousands of immigrants from Russia and a hundred other countries are crossing the Rio Grande every week. And if they get caught, they can use the arrest warrant as a photo ID to board a plane. What a country!
With help from California Governor Newsom, the President has resurrected the Old West custom of robbing a train. He had already slowed down imports from China, and now, once the goods are unloaded from a container ship to a train, criminal gangs are emptying almost a hundred containers a day before the locomotives get enough speed to escape Los Angeles city limits.
If Pinkerton agents happen to catch the thieves, city officials cooperate with the President by turning them loose so they can empty more containers. This is genius; a truly unique way to discourage Amazon and Walmart shoppers and instead promote goods produced in America with a union label.
He has outperformed in other areas, including: raising starting wages and Social Security checks to almost equal the rise in inflation; providing a $250/month salary to teenagers so they don’t have to work at McDonald’s or shovel snow; withdrawing from Afghanistan; increasing the value of farmland; and, oddly, increased production of coal for export. The Dow Jones average has gone up about 25% since his election (far above expectations), but the President doesn’t even mention that outperformance.
Of course, my ramblings are political satire. Did I outperform and exceed your expectations? Can you name even one other political satirist who has a better record in the past year? lol
A Presentation Piece (from one of my speeches): “I feel every speaker should leave at least one worthwhile tip with his audience, so here it is. It’s an economic plan, a plan to end all plans. It’ll work for you no matter who’s in the White House. ‘Don’t gamble; take all your savings and buy some good stock, and hold it till it goes up, then sell it. If it don’t go up, don’t buy it.’”
Historic quotes by Will Rogers:
“The Democrats give us three bad years and one good one. But the good one always comes on the year that the voting is.” Radio, Oct. 18, 1931
“I don’t write [political] jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts. I don’t even have to exaggerate.” Notes, undated