Weekly Comments Archive
Archived Issue
Monday, May 7, 2007
ISSUE #455
Horses, Tornadoes and Common Sense

#455, May 7 , 2007

COLUMBUS: The Kentucky Derby put horses back on the front page again. Seems like most people ignore the old race horse except one day a year.

Street Sense won it. Before the race I heard a television reporter ask his trainer, Carl Nafzger, why he didn’t bring a horse to the Derby every year. Mr. Nafzger gave the most intelligent comment you’ll ever hear from a horseman. “A good trainer don’t bring a horse to the Kentucky Derby; the horse brings the trainer.” Now that’s Common Sense, and because of it investors wise enough to bet on Street Sense made a lot of Dollars and Cents.

Even Queen Elizabeth, a fine horsewoman, was there. She had some time to kill between the Jamestown celebration last week and the big dinner tonight at the White House. I was kinda hoping she would stop in Columbus for a visit Sunday on her way to Washington.

Did you see where Paris Hilton is headed for jail? Her Mother told the judge it’s not fair to send Paris to jail just because she was drunk and driving with a revoked license. How’s that for another example of modern Hollywood parenthood just before Mother’s Day. I figure 45 days in the slammer beats 30 days in any de-tox resort for long-term results.

But what Paris Hilton needs when she gets out is a horse. Put her on a spirited horse, let her bounce around in the saddle all day, and you’ll hear no more arguments from her about having to wear, uh, undergarments. The horse will come closer to keeping her out of jail than her mother. But really, I think Paris is just a little girl that never growed up. Maybe her mama, too.

With gas at $3.20, the old horse is gaining ground. A bonus is you don’t have to mow your yard; let the horse eat it down. If you have a tiny yard and he’s still hungry, why, offer the “eating-mowing” service to your neighbors. Just like those new-fangled electric cars, ride him to work all day, and let him recharge at night.

Those storms in Kansas and Oklahoma left a horrible mess. That little town of Greensburg was wiped clean except for the grain elevator. That’s the only thing still standing. In fact don’t be surprised if new buildings put up on the Plains are built just like those wheat silos. Of course they don’t have to be that tall; just that strong. How’s that for Common Sense?

Historic quote from Will Rogers: (on Mother’s Day)

“A mother is the only thing that is so constituted that they possess eternal love under any and all circumstances. No matter how you treat them, you still have their love. I was telling that to my wife today, and I was telling her a little thought that I wanted to use (on the radio tonight), and I said, “You know, Betty,” I says, a mother and a dog is the only two things that has eternal love, no matter how you treat ’em. And my wife made me cut the dog out. Said it, well, it didn’t sound very good and it might sound disrespectful to a mother, but I certainly didn’t mean it that way. But it’s the only thing that really is. You know what I mean.

So the poor old dog he’ll have to go. I can’t use it on account of my wife made me leave the dog out, but he still loves you just the same, just as much as a mother did.

But this being Mothers Day… maybe some day, we’ll have Dog Day, too, or something, and I can use that on the dog. I really do, I hate to leave the dog out, but my wife runs this outfit. Well, anyhow, they both, no matter what you do to them, they all love you.

Mothers are naturally glad to have this day dedicated to ’em, and they’re glad that we pay them this homage and remembrance, but it hasn’t increased their love one bit, I don’t think. It’s made no changes in her. She can see through this Mother’s Day thing. She knows that we were almost forced by law to do something about her.” Radio broadcast, Mother’s Day, 1935


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