Weekly Comments Archive
Archived Issue
Sunday, April 7, 2019
ISSUE #968
More on our new elite university. NCAA basketball championship game

The elite, superior, private university announced last week has drawn tremendous interest and attention. Several professors are on board. When they find out professors will get a good share of the million dollar offerings, you find a lot of friends willing to help out this ole country boy.

Students can learn Art while learning about the Constitution and patriotism. Or major in Education with common sense. Practice speaking more effectively (and texting less.)  If you’re short on credits, take a class on comedy writing and speaking. We’ll have classes in Engineering and Agriculture and Finance with Blockchain. I bet you won’t find these offerings at any other high-class university.

A friend in Florida says we need a Mascot. He gave five great suggestions to choose from: Greenbacks, Gold Rush, Cash Cows, Benjamins, and Spoiled Brats. (That last one could also be the main course at the dormitory lunch counter.)

If we get a Billion dollar bid for the name of the university we’ll be opening in September. I received a good name suggestion, and it could fit with any offer:  __________ U of E&E. That could be mistaken for Entrepreneurship & Excellence, but really it means Elite & Entitled.

So now, the only other thing lacking is million dollar bids by wealthy parents for 250 students.

In college basketball we’re down to the top two teams, Thomas Jefferson’s University of Virginia in Charlottesville and Texas Tech University in Lubbock.  Now Mr. Jefferson and his Wahoos (whatever that is) have been there before but this is the first time a university with a statue of “me” (Will Rogers on his favorite Palomino, Soapsuds) has ever been in the Championship game.

I have no idea what UVA students do to a statue of our third President before big games, but at Texas Tech they wrap the statue in red crepe paper from the top of my head to the bottom of Soapsuds’ four hoofs. You might consider that humiliating. But the students get a kick out of it, and if it helps the team win a game, then I got no complaints. After the game, win or lose, they will carefully unclothe me, you might say, in a manner that might make Joe Biden blush.

Historic quote by Will Rogers:

[This is about a tiny high school basketball team from up in the mountains of Kentucky, but it kinda fits the TTU team out on the flat land of the Texas Panhandle.] “This Carr Creek basketball team kicked up a fuss among the best high school teams in the country (winning a special tournament in Lexington)… There is only eighteen boys at their little country school. They played barefooted and out on the ground. They just had baskets fastened up to two trees…I think it’s the greatest example of what any school any place can do… That’s a great kick to a country school, to know they can go out (and play) just as good as any other school in America.” WA #277, Apr. 15, 1928


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