# 294, October 26, 2003

CLAREMORE, Okla: It’s good to be home. I flew into Tulsa Thursday morning, rented a car and headed to Tahlequah in Cherokee County. The Sancta Sophia Seminary, situated ten miles north of Tahlequah according to their directions, invited me to speak to their present and aspiring preachers.

Drove through Muskogee, and the old historic section of Tahlequah, then headed north into the scenic hill country to find this Seminary. They sent me good instructions, told where to make every turn, even said where the blacktop would turn into a gravel road.

After about nine miles, with seldom any sign of civilization, I started up a steep grade, and then I remembered how they often build churches on top of the hill. It’s either to be closer to God or farther from the Devil, one or the other. Well, about half way up there, I wasn’t contemplating either God or the Devil. What I was thinking was, I should have rented a horse.

But once that old Chevy got to the top, what a beautiful sight. It was worth the climb. They’re a delightful bunch and I can’t recall ever having a better audience.

Then I spent the next three days wandering over northeastern Oklahoma. Mainly Claremore, and Oologah but also Pryor and Jay, kinda getting reacquainted with the home folks.

Lots of news in the papers this week…

Miami beat the Yankees in the World Series, in case you missed it.

A fellow named Kirk Jones went over Niagara Falls, and lived. Now let me ask you. Soon as you heard that, did you wonder if it was a pilot for a new Hollywood reality show? Survivor Falls? More likely, with book and movie rights, he’ll be Kirk Millionaire.

Three hundred illegal immigrants were arrested for working at Wal-Mart. The next day Massachusetts invited all 300 to apply for a drivers license.

But the big news in Oklahoma, other than football, is that the state is getting fat. I don’t mean fat on revenues, they’re broke like every other state. No, I mean fat on food.

“The Oklahoman” newspaper yesterday said “Obesity Continues to Grow”. Over half of Oklahomans are overweight and one-fourth are obese, or in today’s vernacular, supersized. Folks claim they’ve tried almost everything except maybe to change their eating and exercising habits. Stomach stapling is the latest fad.

Now, you folks that read my Weekly Comments on a regular basis know that I seldom bring up my personal life. But here is one time I will make an exception, and maybe offer a solution for Oklahoma’s fat problem.

In March I weighed 220. By August I was at 180 and that’s where it’s staying. I ain’t telling you that to boast or brag, in fact I am mighty ashamed to admit my weight got away from me. I’m glad it’s back where it was many years ago, without resorting to a suction tube, starvation or a staple gun.

You’re wondering, what’s the secret? Sometimes I kid around and say it’s “Will” power. But really, it’s that low carbohydrate Adkins plan. I have found if you focus on the good things you can eat, like meat, lettuce, eggs, butter, cheese, berries and almonds, then you don’t miss so much the things you eliminate including desserts, bread, potatoes, regular cereal, chips, milk, juice and sugared drinks. Get yourself one of those Adkins books, and you’ll find plenty of good stuff to eat.

I would never claim this is the weight control plan for everyone, but it works for a few million of us, so you may as well take a crack at it. Be sure to get your wife or husband to support you, your friends too, and folks you work with. You sure don’t need them offering you food and drink you can’t have, and you might even cause some of them to join you.

Here’s your first test. On Halloween, give all the leftover candy to charity or feed it to the hogs.

Can you believe my good luck. I’m coming back here next weekend. Oklahoma plays Oklahoma State in the biggest college game of the day and if you have a spare ticket… well, all I can promise is I don’t need quite as much space as before.

“My” birthday is Tuesday, election day, and Claremore is putting on a parade Sunday afternoon, so I’ll be here for it. If I walk the full two mile route, I figure I can eat a big slice of birthday cake, without objection from the Adkins folks.

Historic quotes from Will Rogers:

(This is from a speech Will made at a banquet for the corset manufacturers) “When our human bodies get beyond our control, why we have to call on some mechanical force to help bring them back to some semblance of a human frame.” WA #12, March 4, 1923