Weekly Comments Archive
Archived Issue
Wednesday, May 14, 2003
ISSUE #273
Oklahoma opens arms to Texas Democrats May 14, 2003

COLUMBUS: Bin Ladin struck again, this time in his home territory. He’s as hard to track down as Pancho Villa. Of course up to now the Saudis have been as much interested in fighting him as the French are, and just as effective. But his goose will get cooked one of these days.

This tragedy comes from al-Qaida. But our country’s comedy this week is courtesy of the Texas Legislature. It seems the Democratic arm of that august body is tired of being bossed around by the Republicans. So they high-tailed it across the Red River to hide out in a Holiday Inn in Ardmore, Oklahoma.

You may wonder, why Oklahoma?

Well, they couldn’t go to Louisiana because folks there still remember when Texas passed a law in 1931 calling their Governor Huey Long a liar.

Couldn’t go to New Mexico… half those Democrats don’t know there’s anything west of west Texas except sagebrush. Some of them don’t even know there’s anything in west Texas. Their appropriations never make it past San Antonio.

Pensacola, Florida, had a certain appeal for some of those ole boys, but they wisely skipped that idea. Too risky. Besides, Florida is riled up over a test you have to take to get out of high school, and I have my doubts some of these legislators could pass it.

Oklahoma is glad to have ’em. They can stay as long as they want to, just as long as they don’t run for anything. We’re even willing to let other states send us their legislatures. Imagine if this idea grows and they all follow Texas’ lead. What a wonderful spring break the rest of you folks would have.

Now if the U.S. Congress decides to send us their Democrats, well, that’s expecting a bit much of Oklahoma generosity.

Historic quotes from Will Rogers:

“There is nothing that will upset a state economic condition like a legislature. It’s better to have termites in your house than the legislature (in session).” Radio broadcast, March 31, 1935

“I got to thinking that I dident have much material, so I decided as I was starting in Texas that I better drop by Austin where the State Legislature was in session and get some material. Well that’s why I chose it, and it was a Godsend to me. It turned out great, not that the Texas Legislature is especially humorous. It’s not, it’s just average, in fact I think they got a pretty good body there, as Legislatures go. They just hadent done anything, which made them on a par with all others.” WA #425, Feb. 15, 1931

“Spoke before the (Texas) Legislature, but a comedian getting up before one of those bodies of men is just lost. It would be like Rudy Vallee trying to sing before an audience composed of all grand opera singers. He would just be outclassed, and that’s the way I was.” DT #1407, Jan. 26, 1931

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