Weekly Comments Archive
Archived Issue
Sunday, February 20, 2005
ISSUE #356
Presidents Day finds our Presidents at work

# 356, February 20, 2005

COLUMBUS: Tomorrow is Presidents Day. It’s supposed to be a holiday, and it is for everyone except our Presidents. President Bush is in Europe, trying to make peace with France and Germany and Russia. Former Presidents Clinton and Bush #1 are in Indonesia and Sri Lanka to relieve the suffering and help the survivors find work. President Carter launched a new submarine named for him. Only President who has kept his whereabouts secret is Gerald Ford, and he would probably be playing golf in Palm Springs except it’s raining so much in California no golfer can play a round without a boat.

I guess it’s only fair for them to work. Washington and Lincoln never got the day off.

Before he left for Belgium, Mr. Bush was still working on his Social Security plan. (See Historic quote below) He says he might allow the maximum salary you pay FICA on to rise above $90,000, so he is halfway to the plan I laid out last week. But nothing’s gonna happen to it this year. Congress only looks two years ahead, not forty, unless it’s their own retirement plan they’re voting for.

Our newspapers and television reporters have some new competition lately. There seems to be a lot of folks that put out “news” over the internet. They call themselves bloggers, but in earlier times they were mostly known as gossips. Naturally they get the news right once in a while.

They get their news from just about anyone that’ll send it to them, and nothing is off the record. If you don’t want your words broadcast over the Internet, you better not even think ’em, let alone say ’em or write ’em. It won’t be long till a reporter can aim some electronic contraption at your brain and whatever you’re thinking will instantly show up in English on his computer screen. If it disagrees with the words coming out of your mouth, why naturally he’ll go with the brain waves and ignore what you’re saying. This device is still a few years off for commercial use, but a lot of men will claim it’s been used for years by their wives.

The Democrats picked Howard Dean to run the party. I don’t often print my own “re-runs”, but you might enjoy what I wrote in Weekly Comments #310 exactly a year ag “…a headline said, “Dean quits race, vows to reform Democratic Party”. He’s taking on a Herculean task. It’s easier to get nominated than to get Democrats to reform. They nominate somebody every four years, kinda out of habit, but nobody’s old enough to remember when they ever reformed. But if you think it’s hard for a Democrat to reform, just try it on a Republican. He’s a doctor, so he may knock ’em out with ether, surgically remove the objectionable organs, call in a plastic surgeon for a face lift, and in a few weeks introduce the “New Reformed Democrat”. Just because it hasn’t been done doesn’t mean it shouldn’t.”

Jeff Gordon won the Daytona 500 today. That was kinda of a re-run, since he’s done it three times now. These NASCAR boys hold their biggest race at the start instead of the end of the season. That way the cars are shiny, not dented and beat up like at the end of the season, or even like the end of today’s race. They’re expecting a prosperous year in 2005 since they won’t have all that competition from hockey.

National Hockey League players decided to take the year off rather than play for only $2,000,000 a man. The whole problem started for the NHL when they added so many teams south of the border. We’ve got one of the new teams right here in Columbus, and it’s mighty popular. But years ago when most of the teams were in Canada, salaries were not a problem, because there’s not many options to make a million in Canada, expect maybe gold mining and fur trapping.

Historic quote from Will Rogers:

“One thing you got to say for an administration that tries out a lot of plans, some of `em are apt to be pretty good. Now this one that broke out yesterday where they help out these young folks, that sounds awful good. Course I look for bountiful editorial condemnation, for it’s going to cost money. But if you help out the young folks up to 20, and the old ones over 60, that only gives a fellow a little stretch in between of about forty years where he has to do any worrying for himself (or herself as the sex may be). If we can keep the young happy and the old satisfied, why all the middle-aged have to look out for is its women automobile drivers.” DT #2775, June 27, 1935

“Some man… kept quoting Lincoln’s famous remark about ‘God must have loved the common people because he made so many of them.’ You are not going to get people’s votes nowadays by calling them common. Lincoln might have said it but I bet you it was not until after he was elected.” WA # 82, July 6, 1924


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