Weekly Comments Archive
Archived Issue
Monday, September 18, 2006
ISSUE #425
Problems solved with a ditch and a Model T

#425, September 18, 2006

COLUMBUS: In news from Iraq, the government announced plans to dig a ditch all the way around Baghdad. They want to protect the six million that live there and keep out the outsiders. Yes, a DITCH. Why not…, the one between Texas and Mexico works so effectively. Only one or two million outsiders get across it every year, and it’s half full of water.

In Detroit, Ford says they will reduce their workforce and close some more factories. Folks just aren’t buying enough of their vehicles. I got a suggestion for William Ford and the new President they brought in from Boeing. Take off a week and read up on how Henry Ford practically invented the modern automobile industry. What this country needs is a new Model T, or Model A, and maybe a 1950s Ford pickup. Not exactly the same models of course, but cars and trucks that remind you of a simpler time when Fords were king of the road, but you could buy one on a pauper’s wage. We’ve kinda got spoiled on cars with air conditioning, power steering and automatic gear shifters. Does anybody today know how to work a clutch? So these new Fords gotta have a few more luxuries than the old Model T, where glass windows and a heater were optional equipment. But going back to Uncle Henry’s basics can get ’em out of the hole they dug themselves into. It’s so deep now they’ve got to have four-wheel drive to climb out.

Gasoline is down again. I filled up for $2.05 a gallon, and I heard Ohio leads the nation in gasoline prices. Ohio is proud to be first in something besides football. The Governor says we can’t be the best educated state, or the highest paid, or the lowest taxed, but by golly, we can have the cheapest gas.

Many of you probably think the price of gas is set by Exxon. Maybe when it’s going up. But when it’s coming down it’s set by Republicans. And in the weeks before an election they make sure it’s coming down. No Gulf of Mexico hurricanes allowed. Keep those wells in the Gulf pumping, and if you can, drill deeper and find even more oil reserves. Make sure it’s off the coast of Louisiana and not Florida, because any oil close to Florida belongs to Cuba.

I’ve been reading about the spinach that’s been making people sick across the country. It’s in the newspapers, but can you imagine the uproar if it had been hamburger instead of spinach. The tainted spinach probably came from an organic farm in California. They don’t use any chemicals on their crops and the E coli likely came from “natural fertilizer” in the irrigation water. So don’t go jumping on farmers for using chemicals to grow your food cheaper. They might make it safer, especially if the food is zapped with a small dose of irradiation.

Ohio gained two more prominent jailbirds this week. Republican Congressman Bob Ney admitted he took money from Abramoff and then voted according to the money instead of his conscience. The ACLU is taking the Ten Commandments out of our government buildings; that’s where they are most needed. And a former football star, Maurice Clarett, got a 3.5 year sentence for robbery. Kind of a coincidence, if he had stayed in college another 3.5 years he could have been a legendary player and got a degree to boot.

Historic quote from Will Rogers:

“Politics pretty quiet over the week-end. Democrats are attacking and the Republicans are defending. All the Democrats have to do is promise “what they would do if they got in.” But the Republicans have to promise “what they would do” and then explain why they haven’t already “done it.” I do honestly believe the Republicans have reformed and want to do better. But whether they have done it in time to win the election is another thing. The old voter is getting so he wants to be saved before October every election year.” DT #1917, Sept. 26, 1932

“We cuss ’em and we joke about ’em, but they are all good fellows at heart, and if they wasent in (Congress), why, they would be doing something else against us that might be worse.” Saturday Evening Post, July 24, 1926


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