Income Tax Day is past. I’m guessing the federal government will collect a record amount of revenue this year. Yet, President Biden insists we spend at least a Trillion dollars more than we take in. The Speaker of the House, Kevin McCarthy, has offered a budget equal to 2022, and to increase it by 1% a year for 10 years.

But President Biden claims our government cannot operate if we cut a single program, agency, or department. He says we need every one of the 2,000,000 federal employees. What would our economy be like if none of our big companies eliminated a position or fired an employee? What would a President Elon Musk do with the leaders of the Dept. of Homeland Security or Dept. of Education or any of the other 13 Cabinet level departments?

Last week I criticized the US Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) for wanting to ban all vehicles powered by gasoline or diesel by 2032. This week they proposed extreme requirements on capturing carbon that would eliminate coal, oil, and gas for generating electricity. EPA says our air is not clean enough to breathe.

I have two suggestions for the EPA: Out of the 17,000 who work there, send 200 of the top officials to several countries around the world for a month. Have them live among the average families in South America, Africa, India, and China. Then have them report their experiences with air quality to their EPA colleagues.

If they still complain about having to live here and breathe our air, give each of the 200, or even all 17,000, a gas mask and a life-time supply of oxygen. Let them enjoy 100% clean air while the rest of us inhale air that is 99.9% clean. Either way, it would keep our economy growing with abundant energy and save Trillions of dollars, much of which would otherwise go to China for solar panels, wind turbines, and raw materials for batteries.

You probably know that Chicago elected a mayor who is reducing the police force, raising taxes on businesses and wealthy individuals, and supporting a teacher’s union that’s lackadaisical about student achievement. In response, President Biden and VP Kamala Harris, seeing the increasing lawlessness, poverty, and growth of youth gangs, immediately decided that Chicago is the perfect place to host the Democratic Convention in 2024. Los Angeles, Milwaukee, New York City and Atlanta may have been considered but could not promise the chaos, upheaval and riots guaranteed by Chicago’s new mayor. I don’t know how many people are involved in putting on a DNC Convention, but in Chicago it will be doubled. Why? Because every delegate, Party official and media person will demand a bodyguard.

In New York City, Mayor Adams hired a person to drive millions of rats out of the city. That drew an immediate reply from PETA… on the side of the rats. These “People for Ethical Treatment of Animals” said rats are animals, too, and need protection. To keep the new Rat Czar from killing millions of these precious 4-legged mammals, PETA set up a website called “Adopt-a-Rat.com.” PETA’s nation-wide program is aimed at individuals and families that, for whatever reason, don’t want a “Rescue Dog” or “Rescue Cat” from a local shelter. PETA will ship you a “Rescue Rat” for a donation of only $19. And for a limited time, until May 31, they will double the offer, providing you TWO Rescue Rats. PETA has declared that May is “Save a Rat Month.” Adopting a pack of rats is the ideal gift for Mother’s Day.

You may be thinking, “All this for only $19? That’s less than a bouquet of roses.” Well, in the tiniest of fonts, (which I’ve blown up to normal size here) PETA’s rat offer is for $19… a month. And in even tinier print, it says you are agreeing to pay $19/month for 5 years, or until every rat in New York City has been adopted into a loving home.

(Ok, PETA is not rescuing any New York rats. If you want one, you’ve got to go there and trap it yourself, saving the $19/month.)

For the last two years no one connected with the Biden Administration has been able or willing to define a “woman.” But this week Secretary of Transportation Pete Buttigieg broke ranks. He publicly stated that he wants a woman. One that weighs about 115 pounds and is 5ft-4in tall. Now, this is a special woman, in fact so special she will cost $20 million. The Biden Administration finally recognizes there is a difference between men and women and that is why Sec. Buttigieg needs a female dummy for automobile crash tests. Male dummies have dominated the profession, and it’s time for a female dummy to slide into the driver’s seat.

Let’s hope this breakthrough in defining a difference between men and women will apply to the sports world so males can be prohibited from competing as females in high school, college, and beyond.

Historic quotes by Will Rogers:

“The Budget is a mythical beanbag. Congress votes mythical beans into it and then tries to reach in and pull real beans out.” DT#2047, Feb. 24, 1933

“Been out to a calf branding at the Quien Sabe Ranch… Didn’t mind all the men beating me roping, but when a girl did, it looks like golf will be coming on me pretty soon.” DT#2430, May 17, 1934