Weekly Comments Archive
Archived Issue
Wednesday, July 30, 2003
ISSUE #283
Speakers stand tall in Huey Long country. California is still short.

Weekly Comments # 283,  July 30, 2003

NEW ORLEANS: Here in the land of the old Kingfish, Huey Long, a whole passel of professional speakers is convening. Actually the convention just ended, not because they ran out of something to say, but nobody’s getting paid here and they’ve got to get back to earning a living.

So you folks that are on your way to a big meeting or convention where you get to listen to one of these National Speakers Association members, why you’re in for a rare treat. If the inspiration and motivation this week didn’t set them on fire, the Cajun cookin’ would have.

Perhaps the speaker that came the closest to Huey on oratory was Dave Yoho. Not that they would have agreed on anything, but Dave can move an audience like Huey used to could.

Back in the early ’30’s Huey had his “share the wealth” plan. Today Dave Yoho has a “grow the wealth” plan, and about anybody can get in on it. He says it takes energy, persuasion, optimism and discipline, those four, to make it.

He also said something that had nothing to do with his topic but got a good laugh, “If God doesn’t do something about Bourbon Street, he owes an apology to Sodom and Gomorrah.”

Now, he’s not the first one to notice a bit of hanky-panky going on down there. In fact the northern three-fourths of Louisiana has been preaching the identical thing for years, but the publicity just seems to attract more of the same. Kinda like a mosquito trap, it makes the swarm thicker and you can’t stand to hang around long enough to see if it works.

These northern Louisianians don’t have any more clout down here than a Democrat Legislator in Texas. The only way they can use what little clout they do have is to leave the state.

This time the Texas Democrats slipped over to New Mexico. The Oklahoma tourist bureau lost out on this particular outing. That’s a problem peculiar to Oklahoma. See, after you spend a solid week at a Holiday Inn in Ardmore, it just shatters any desire to see the rest of the our wonderful state.

They could have gone across the Rio Grande to ole Mexico, but some of them weren’t sure they could get back. The only way the border patrol and Texas Rangers let anyone sneak in is for ’em to sign an oath to vote Republican. It’s been that way for years, which probably explains the Democrats predicament.

Now California is just the opposite. Only Democrats are allowed in. They come in, pick the tomatoes and apricots and almonds and grapes, collect their California paycheck and send it home. Is it any wonder California is as short of dollars as Texas is of Democrats?

I know what else you’re wondering, “Were there any of those tall women speakers you are always writing about down there at your convention?” Yes, there were, about fifteen all together. They are outstanding speakers, not only outstanding, but upstanding.

But the woman that got the top award for the whole convention was not tall in stature, but had a heart as high as a mountain. I say “had”, because Pat Vivo passed away in May. She left a big family, and a list of folks a mile long that were proud to call her a best friend.

We lost another friend on Sunday. Bob Hope, thanks for the memories. A hundred years worth of great memories.

Over in Iraq we took out Saddam’s two sons. A cousin in Tikrit is about to collect the $30 million cash reward. That was bad luck for California. Gray Davis didn’t get there in time to finger those two, and win the junior division of the Hussein lottery. And he’s sorta occupied for the next few weeks when we’re liable to find Saddam without his help, so there goes an opportunity at $25 million out the window. If he sends a travel brochure and a sharp real estate man to visit these newly wealthy Iraqis perhaps California can at least benefit from the income taxes.

But the odds are they will turn out to be Republican, and land in Texas.

Historic quotes from Will Rogers:

“I always told you that there was just three towns in the whole of America that was different and distinct, New Orleans, Frisco and San Antonio. They each got something that even the most persistent chamber of commerce can’t standardize.” DT #1649, Nov. 4, 1931.

“NEW ORLEANS, La.: These Louisiana people are the most friendly and hospitable you ever saw. Of course, there is two sides down here (but that has nothing to do with their hospitality). There is what I would call the ‘Longs’ and the ‘Shorts’. There is no mediums. Now they are trying to make Shorts out of the Longs and Huey is trying to make Longs out of not only the State Shorts but all the United States Shorts.
I visited their Capitol today, the finest in the world outside Finland. They have buttons on the desks and they vote by electricity. It’s a marvelous way to vote, but Huey runs the switchboard, so it don’t matter much which button the boys press, all the answers come out yes. But they are great folks.”
 DT #2647, Jan. 29, 1935.


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