#437, December 18, 2006

COLUMBUS: A friend of mine called yesterday and broke the news, “You are Time magazine’s Man of the Year.”

Mind you, I’m not bragging, but by golly I feel pretty big about it. I sure didn’t expect such an honor, not this year anyway what with competition like Bin Laden, Kim Jung Il, Hamas, and that Iranian troublemaker.

Now, 75 years ago it coulda made some sense, but today?

Well, that bubble burst in a hurry. I turned on the television tonight, and you wouldn’t believe the number of people claiming THEY are Time’s person of the year.

Aren’t you glad Time is not in charge of naming the best college football team? You think the BCS is bad? Time would say, “Why pick one and upset all the other subscribers. Let’s name Ohio State, Michigan, Florida, Southern Cal, Oklahoma, Louisville, Wake Forest, Louisiana State, even Rutgers, Texas and Notre Dame.” If it works for football, why not high schools. Everybody graduates Valedictorian. (Some schools have already tried that.)

The Christmas shopping season is down to the final week. I got a suggestion for the women. To be fair to the rest of us, try to finish up your shopping by Thursday. You’ve had most of a year with the Malls all to yourselves. Leave Friday, Saturday and Sunday for the men to venture into the stores. Who knows, with only men buying, the checkout lines will be half as long and we might buy more gifts. Chances are, some of ’em will be for you.

Then next Tuesday you can exchange ’em.

Merry Christmas to you. But really, whatever holiday you want to celebrate will get no argument from me.

Historic quotes from Will Rogers:

“Christmas was awful quiet after the excitement of the late election. It looked like there was a lot more interest in (the candidates) than there was in Santa Claus. I guess Christmas is getting kinder old and we will have to scare up something new to take its place. The trouble with this generation is they are getting too wise. That is they are getting too wise about things which they ought not to get wise about, and learning none of the things that might be any good to ’em afterwards. We kid the idea of Santa Claus now, where as a matter of fact it was one of the greatest illusions and ideas we ever had. We lost it and nothing has taken its place. Even to presents, why in the old days just any little remembrance was the very thing we wanted and needed, but now with all this Republican prosperity, nobody can’t give you anything you need, for you already got it.” WA #315, January 6, 1929