May 8, 2011

COLUMBUS: The Mississippi River is roaring down through the middle of the country. It may not have the immediate destruction of tornados and fires, but a big flood can wreak havoc for months.
This flood on the Mississippi will be worse than the one in 1927, even with all the levees built since then. You folks remember the 1993 flood, but it was mainly upstream of where the Ohio dumps in. This year it’s mainly downstream from the confluence with the Ohio, all the way to the Gulf.
The government spent billions building levees and now they are deciding which ones to blow up. It seems a town in Illinois is worth more than thousands of acres of farms in Missouri. They’re going to destroy another levee or two farther down river to save more towns.
These towns, they could have been built anywhere, but a farm has to be where the land is. The farmer can’t just haul the soil up on the side of a hill and say, “This is where I want to raise my corn and cotton.”
I hope the levees protecting these towns and cities hold back the water. Those folks will be overjoyed and donate all they can to help the flooded farmers recover, even if it takes years.
Last week at this time is when I heard that we had killed Osama bin Laden in Pakistan, in a suburb of the capital. Later the Navy buried him at sea. Can’t you just imagine, as bin Laden was sinking beneath the waves, he was thinking, “Ok, I’ll settle for 72 mermaids.”
Some folks are demanding to see the photos of bin Laden. Here’s a better idea: make a half-dozen prints and send them by courier to those next in line to head up Al-Qaida and the Taliban. Send one to Qaddaffi, too. Include a note that says, “Guess who’s next.”

Historic quotes by Will Rogers: (on the1927 flood)

 “I don’t believe our people that have never been around a flood area realize the tremendous need of these sufferers down on the Mississippi. It’s by far the worst thing that has happened in this country in years.” DT #236, April 25, 1927

 “I got a wire from a very influential club in New Orleans saying: “The Government has cut our levee and overflowed five counties, so that the SEWERAGE from Chicago, Kansas City, St. Louis and Memphis can get past Canal Street here in New Orleans.” I wonder if there ain’t a bit of truth in that statement.” WA #231, May 15, 1927

“Another levee broke today; another hundred thousand standing on the banks. Don’t forget that when you eat your big dinner and sleep in a nice dry bed tonight.” DT #263, May 25, 1927