Weekly Comments Archive
Archived Issue
Sunday, April 28, 2013
ISSUE #757
Watch out for impersonators impersonating impersonators

Do you remember two weeks ago when the FBI announced that an Elvis Presley impersonator had mailed an envelope with the deadly poison ricin to President Obama? Well, in an odd twist, it seems that the ricin was actually sent by a man impersonating the impersonator.

Meanwhile in Syria, President Obama believes that poison gas has been used against civilians. However he stopped short of blaming the attack on Elvis. Or any Elvis impersonators.

West Virginia Senator Joe Manchin says he will reintroduce the bill to require background checks for gun purchases, except for sales to relatives. The bill previously lost by 6 votes, but he’s optimistic it will pass when other Senators realize how many of their gun-toting constituents are related.

Here’s a good question to ask your lawyer friends. If an immigrant tricks us into giving him U.S. citizenship, then carries out a terrorist attack, does he  deserve any “Constitutional rights?”

We haven’t heard from the young North Korean lately. I think he’s waiting for a slow news day to announce he will launch a rocket. He will say he’s aiming at the Pacific Ocean, then after it splashes down he’ll proudly proclaim that he hit the target.

Historic quote by Will Rogers:

“Well, here we are in Korea… I found people that have funnier hats than the kind you are wearing back home. It’s a sort of old cab driver’s derby, but it’s made of screen netting like the thing we used to keep over cheese in the Claremore grocery store.” DT #1678, Dec. 9, 1931

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