COLUMBUS: President Obama announced he’s for gay marriage, just like he was 15 years ago. See, he was for it before he was against it, and now he’s for it again.
He forgot to mention it is also a Jobs Plan because it will get wedding planners off unemployment lines. Hardly anybody has been getting married. The whole wedding business has been in the dumps, along side manufacturers of buggy whips, rumble seats, and LP records. That’s why the average wedding cost has jumped to $25,000. When a wedding planner can only find a half dozen couples willing to get hitched, they have to take in enough to last all year.
Of course more weddings will lead to more jobs for divorce lawyers. They are getting geared up for the influx. Some will be handing out their business cards at the reception.
The baby business in this country was on the rocks until someone said it’s ok to have a kid without being married. Today that accounts for nearly half of the baby food and diapers sold.
Hollywood held a fund-raiser and came out strong for gay marriage. Can anyone remember the last time Hollywood said something favorable about marriage? Seems the only way to get anyone in Hollywood to marry is to offer ‘em a million dollars for the wedding photos. George Clooney and his fellow actors raised $15 million for President Obama. George could have covered the whole check himself, just by signing on for another movie.
West Virginia held an election Tuesday that drew almost as much attention as Senator Lugar’s defeat in Indiana. A fellow named Keith Judd got on the ballot against President Obama and got forty percent of the vote.
A lot of voters apparently saw the name Judd, guessed he’s a country music singer, and figured he’s better than a Chicago lawyer. It was only after the election, where he won 10 of the 55 counties, that someone discovered he’s in prison. But really, why hold that against him; look at all the elected officials that end up there. And several others ought to.
Well, I know the real reason Mr. Judd got so many votes. It’s like I said on the radio in 1935: “In this country people don’t vote for, they vote against.”
JPMorgan Chase Bank admitted Thursday they lost $2 Billion in three months on a bad bet, and three or four people in charge have already been let go. Our federal government goes in debt $4 Billion every day, and nobody in charge has been let go.
Historic quote by Will Rogers:
“If sentiment at [election] time is strong enough against Roosevelt, why the Republicans can nominate Shirley Temple and win with her.” Radio, June 9, 1935