Weekly Comments Archive
Archived Issue
Sunday, November 4, 2012
ISSUE #732
Will celebrates another birthday in Oklahoma

Nov. 4, 2012

CLAREMORE, Okla.: If you think we spend too much on Presidential election campaigns, I read that we doled out $2.6 Billion for Halloween candy. That compares to about $2.0 Billion for Romney and Obama. (And it seems like $1 Billion of that was TV ads in Ohio.)

We still don’t know who will win Ohio. But Oklahoma made up their mind months ago. In fact the Tulsa World today wrote that most Oklahomans “made up their minds about Barrack Obama four years ago”, and nothing he has done since has “remotely tempted a change of heart.”

Since Ohio is supposed to decide the general election, why not let ‘em decide the primary too. It’s just common sense. Ohio can hold a primary in November 2015, then the other states, like Iowa and New Hampshire, will know who to vote for in theirs. Ohio can even hold a meaningless straw poll in July, maybe during the State Fair so the candidates can fit right in with the corndogs, clowns and carnival barkers.

Of course this is just my idea; I haven’t discussed it with anyone in Ohio. They may be less enthusiastic and say, “We just finished months of political bombardment, and you want us to wake up the day after the election with a dozen candidates for 2016 knocking on the front door?”

You may know that today, Nov. 4, is my 133rd birthday, and that’s why I’m in Claremore. Oklahoma spent the last four days celebrating it, probably just as an excuse to eat more cake. I was in the parade Saturday afternoon; it went down Will Rogers Blvd., across Route 66, past the old Will Rogers Hotel and the Claremore Daily Progress, ending at the Baptist church. We crossed 4 or 5 railroads and didn’t lose a single float to a train. I walked along behind a passel of politicians riding in a dozen convertibles. I joked with folks along the parade route, “Following all these politicians, I’ve got to be careful not to step in something.” I was carrying a lasso but what I needed was a scoop shovel.
You might ask, “Weren’t there any horses in the parade?” Yes, but they were behind me. You can’t blame the horses.
Right in front of me was a delightful District Attorney and she had five pretty girls walking along handing out candy. For a while I was taking credit, saying they were doing it for me, not her. Then I asked one of ‘em, “Exactly what is it you are giving these voters to impress ‘em?” She reached in her plastic bag and pulled out a handful, “Suckers and Dum Dums.” Gee, there’s no way that could insult their intelligence.
Of course, I’m kidding. I know personally most of these folks; they’re mayors of local towns like Oologah and Catoosa, the Rogers County sheriff, Cherokee council members, and they get along fine. Now, if any of ‘em decide to run for Governor or Senator or even President, they might get feisty.

Historic quote by Will Rogers:
“It’s going to be mighty hard next Wednesday after it’s over to tell which one to congratulate. If this depression stays with us, the loser Tuesday is going to be the winner.”
  DT #1951, Nov. 4, 1932


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