#404, April 9, 2006

WESTON, West Va.: I read in the local daily, the Exponent-Telegram from Clarksburg, about a 4-H Club working to clean up the grounds at Veteran Memorial Park as a service project, and that’s a mighty important service.

Then I saw on network television where high school students plan to march on Washington in support of illegal immigrants, and they want it to count as community service. See, in that particular school district they are required to contribute so many hours to the community. I don’t know about you, but if a person has some proposed activity, and he feels the need to ask if it’s a community service, then it ain’t.

On the Immigration bill, Congress is deadlocked and can’t act. I think we could help this thing along if 11 million Americans would buy a one-way ticket to Mexico, leave their credit cards and bank account at home, go to work and live off the land. Any excess cash they make they could send home to relatives in the states. Why, it wouldn’t be a month before their president would call Washington offering kind of an Immigrant Exchange. Don’t be surprised if President Bush says, “Vincente, I think we’ll just keep the ones we’ve got. And good luck to you, teaching those 11 million to speak Spanish.” Of course it ain’t gonna happen. Nobody wants to move from here to Mexico. But if certain ones did, we would gladly count it as community service.

Congress grabbed onto another hot potato: leaking top secret classified information. It’s hot in Washington, but beyond the Beltway, as they say, nobody much cares. See, the argument isn’t over whether to leak secret information. The argument is over who gets to do the leaking. Congress says they should have the honor, but the Administration says, No, they’re our secrets, and if anybody gets to spill the beans, it should be us.

Well, onto things that are important across the country; the weather didn’t wait till Hurricane season to wreak havoc on us. Just this week we’ve had tornados in Tennessee, floods in California and North Dakota, wildfires in Texas. There’s deep snow in Oregon, but not in Montana where the glaciers are melting. Florida is taking advantage of bad weather elsewhere, “Visit Florida. We provide the sunshine, but if you want insurance, bring your own because there’s none left here.”

Phil Mickelson won the Masters again. He and Tiger Woods are kinda passing the Green Jacket back and forth among themselves.

Historic quote from Will Rogers:

“This is income tax paying day. No two can agree on what is deductible. When it’s made out you don’t know if you are crook or martyr. It’s made more liars out of the American people than golf.” DT #822, March 15, 1929