Weekly Comments Archive
Archived Issue
Monday, October 2, 2006
ISSUE #426
Will offers tips for campaign listening

#426, October 2, 2006

COLUMBUS: Congress adjourned Saturday. They drew a full year’s salary with practically nothing to show for it. But from now to the election all we’ll hear from them is what a wonderful job they did looking out for our interests, and why it would be foolish to saddle a different horse for the next two years.

As a public service for when you are listening to these birds, I will offer suggestions on how to sort the wheat from the chaff of political claims and denials. For those who say the mudslinging could never be any worse than today, I’ll include some historic notes that show it ain’t exactly a new tactic.

When a candidate is asked, “Where do you stand on (this issue)?” and he starts out with, “My opponent’s position on (this issue) proves he is out of touch with the majority of voters in this state,” why just turn him off. That shows you the candidate doesn’t know where he stands, has no idea where the majority stands, and will admit nothing till he finds out where you stand.

You give the banker his six percent and the businessman a good bottom line, they will be with you. Give the worker a good wage and an expectation he’ll keep receiving it, he’ll go to the polls smiling. You let a farmer have rain when he wants it and sunshine for harvest season, you can’t pry his vote away. Candidates pretend they know what the voter wants (just like columnists), but nobody knows for sure till November 7.

Democrats got a head start on this election. Two Republicans left office by their own admission. First it was Congressman Bob Ney for taking bribes. Then Congressman Foley was accused of crimes that are kinda unmentionable. He resigned, claimed he was drunk and immediately entered an alcoholics rehabilitation center. What I want to know is, when will we see a Congressman who’s accused of being drunk immediately volunteer to enter a rehab center for child molesters?

Democrats have figured it out: if two Republicans a week drop out before the election then we’ve got a chance.

Filled up today with $2.00 gas and I was mighty pleased. Then I read where last October it was $1.95, and I didn’t feel quite so giddy. But we have a short memory and if it’s below $1.90 on election day, the Democrats will be the ones requiring rehabilitation.

Historic quotes from Will Rogers:

“It’s been what they call a clean campaign. A clean campaign is one where each side cleans the other of every possible vestige of respectability.” WA #515, Nov. 6, 1932

“Denouncing is not only an art with the Democrats but it’s a profession. You see they are out of the office so much that they get all the practice. But for what little practice the Republicans have had, why they are not doing bad at all. They, for amateur denouncers, are doing fine and may soon be as good as the Democratic denouncers.” WA #657, July 28, 1935

“… it’s awful hard to get a Democrat to resign. It’s pretty near as hard to get one to resign as it is to get him elected.” Life magazine, June 21, 1928

“Well the Campaign is degenerating into just what I thought it would. It started out to be honorable, but honor in politics is just as much lost as John W. Davis’s platform of “honesty” was in 1924… So it finally dawned on us that it was Scandal.

We dident know it was scandal, for in politics practically everything you hear is scandal, so a thing has got to be mighty scandalous to be worth repeating. Well the funny thing about it was the things they had been whispering was not as bad as the things they had been saying out loud.” Life magazine, Oct 12, 1928


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