Weekly Comments Archive
Archived Issue
Monday, May 29, 2006
ISSUE #411
Will’s take on Immigration and Memorial Day speeches

#411, May 29, 2006

COLUMBUS: The calendar says it’s May and I know this is Memorial Day, but the temperature says August. The heat has even affected Congress. (At least we hope it’s the heat because that’s a temporary affliction.) The House passed an Immigration bill, then the Senate passed an Immigration bill that’s exactly the opposite of the House bill. It’s hard to believe these folks were elected in the same country.

Immigration is still the big argument today, except for a brief pause to pay tribute to all our soldiers who died defending our rights to have these arguments. Before the speeches ended, in Iraq and Afghanistan a few more were added to the rolls of fallen heros.

Indonesia had another earthquake. They claimed they were looking for a volcano eruption, and the quake caught them from behind. Between tsunamis, volcanos, quakes and military uprisings, Indonesia gets hit with disasters about as often as Florida gets a hurricane. Of course we’ll help ’em, but probably not as fast as the UN wants us to.

Ohio voted against English as our official language. See, Ohio is practically begging Honda to build another automobile plant here and hire some of the 200,000 Ohioans laid off by GM, Ford and other manufacturers. The Legislature was split down the middle on whether to stick with English or switch the state entirely to Japanese.

Historic quotes from Will Rogers: (on Immigration and Decoration Day)

“Another Decoration Day passed and Mr. Abraham Lincoln’s 300-word Gettysburg Address was not dethroned. I would try and imitate its brevity if nothing else. Of course, Lincoln had the advantage; he had no foreign policy message to put over. He didn’t even have a foreign policy. That’s why he is still Lincoln.” DT #268, May 31, 1927

“A sure certainty about our Memorial Days is as fast as the ranks from one war thin out, the ranks from another take their place. Prominent men run out of Decoration Day speeches, but the world never runs out of wars. People talk peace, but men give their life’s work to war. It won’t stop till there is as much brains and scientific study put to aid peace as there is to promote war.” DT #888, May 31, 1929

“I read the new census. Talk about putting a quota on immigration. Why, the Yankees are swarming into the South like locusts.” DT #1201, June 1, 1930

[Near the end of the 1928 Presidential campaign between Herbert Hoover and Al Smith….] “Well there goes that Radio (ad) again. ‘If I am elected, I will pledge myself to relieve the Farmer. I will enforce the law, restrict immigration, and ___ ___.’ Oh, applesauce. I will be glad when it’s all over.” WA #304, October 21, 1928


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