Month: August 2014

California Governor Jerry Brown gave a speech to a large audience in Los Angeles that included Mexican President Nieto and a whole lot of other Mexicans. Now, mind you, I wasn’t there and did not write down the governor’s speech word for word, but this is pretty close to what he said:

“You’re all welcome in California, whether you are visiting or have lived here illegally for years. Entering California from Mexico should take no more than 20 minutes, if you are Mexican. Of course if you’re an American Marine, it can take many months, and I don’t care.

“I love Mexicans so much that, by executive order, I’m changing the name of this state to North Mexico. We want even more millions of Mexicans to come to the new state of North Mexico. We have sunshine, beaches, mountains, forests, farmland, milk and honey, fruit and nuts. Lots of fruits and nuts, especially in Sacramento. And deserts. Lots of deserts.

“In fact we have everything except water. I suggest you bring your own water, preferably a tanker truck full of water. But we’re gonna solve our water shortage, and you Mexicans are essential to the solution. My plan is to dig a ditch from our fine parched state all the way to Minnesota, the land of 10,000 lakes. It may take a couple million of you with picks and shovels to build this 2000-mile long trench but it will be worth it. I understand they have excellent lake water at Duluth, in fact it’s superior.”

The economy is still moping along in low gear, with no early prospects of shifting into high. More people are pessimistic today about the economy than they were five years ago. But economists are optimistic that things will look up in 2015. Of course, a year ago those same economists said the same thing about 2014. There are a couple of bright spots. If we can avoid an early freeze in the Midwest, a record crop of corn and soybeans will help keep food prices low. And our booming American oil and gas production will keep a handle on energy costs.

 

Putin has invaded Ukraine, the same as Hitler invaded France except Putin didn’t have to go through Belgium to do it. Putin is as determined to turn Ukraine into “West Russia” as Nieto and Gov. Brown are to covert California to North Mexico.

Historic quotes by Will Rogers:

Will wrote a mock “debate” between California and Florida. Here is one exchange:

“FLA: We have 3,000,000 acres of Everglades, and when they are drained they will support 3,000,000 people.
CAL: California has 20,000,000 acres of mountains, and when they are leveled out they will support the whole of India, with the Chinese nation invited as week?end guests. I know you may ask, ‘Who is going to flatten the mountains?’  Why, the same fellow that drains the Everglades. In fact, to show them that there is no hard feeling, and that we don’t even look on them as a competitor, we will give them enough dirt to fill up their Everglades.  They can’t drain their Everglades, as there is nowhere to put the water.  If they drain them into the ocean, why, that will raise the ocean higher than the land.”

And one more poke at California: “As for California, Mexico and the United States had a war… The war was really over the following question: ‘Who will have to take California?’ Mexico won and America had to take it.” May 29, 1926, Saturday Evening Post

“Tomorrow is Labor Day, I suppose set by an act of Congress. Everything we do nowadays is either by or against acts of Congress. How Congress knew anything about labor is beyond us…” Sept. 1, 1929, DT #967

The recession is still hanging on, at least for many of us. A survey showed that only 20% of American parents think their children will be better off than they are. The others think the future is bleaker for their kids. Is it a coincidence that about 20% are currently on welfare or other government support? It’s probably the same 20%.

I read a report that 400,000 more women are employed now than before the recession hit, but 600,000 fewer men have jobs. (There will be no jokes about the “weaker sex.”) The same report said consumer spending is down. That’s no surprise; with all the women working, they don’t have time to go to the mall.

Golf is suffering a downturn. President Obama may appear lackadaisical and uninterested on foreign affairs, deficits and the Keystone pipeline, but he is using all available powers to support golf. If the man with the most important, most demanding job in the world can take time to play a couple of rounds a week, so can the rest of us.

I heard that the biggest ranch in the country is for sale. The family of “my” old friend, W. T. Waggoner, wants to sell it for $725 million. (See quotes below.) I hope it does not get split up into tiny pieces. Maybe Donald Trump or some other Wall Street billionaire will decide it would be more fun to own a ranch than a football team.

It’s a shame what is happening in that little St. Louis suburb of Ferguson.  A young man, who looked like he could play tackle for the Rams, was shot by a policeman, apparently soon after stealing cigars from a convenience store. That’s a tragedy for the family and community. But what followed was almost as bad. Looters and troublemakers and agitators from outside Ferguson descended on the town. Looking back, there are plenty of “what if” questions. What if the policeman had been black? What if he had been on foot instead of in a police car? What if the store clerk had been armed?

Meanwhile in Chicago, 25 young men were shot this week and nobody offered even a sympathy card for the grieving families. What does it say about us, that we take murders in Chicago for granted? Well, it is the home of Al Capone.

Historic quotes by Will Rogers:

    “I am on a ranch of 600,000 acres, belonging to W. T. Waggoner, with 25,000 cattle and some of the best horses in any state (at Vernon, Texas). He is one cowman that was smart enough to solve the low prices of cattle and make ranches pay: every cow has her own oil well.” DT #1846, July 6, 1932
(2 years later)  “A fine old friend and one of the last great cowmen died in Fort Worth, Texas, W. T. Waggoner.  One of the biggest ranches in the United States. It had oil all over it, and it made him sore every time they found a new well, for it was always on the best grass land and just spoiled it for that many cattle. He would rather lose a dollar on a cow than make a thousand on an oil well.” DT #2606, Dec. 12, 1934

  “Buy a ranch somewhere in the West. All your life every man has wanted to be a cowboy. Why play Wall Street and die young when you can play cowboy and never die.” DT #1549, July 10, 1931

Congress left town for a 5-week vacation. You may be wondering: “Vacation from what?”
President Obama joked that Republicans want to sue him, and then impeach him. If you’re like me, you are wondering which of the many crises they are fighting about is worth a lawsuit. Well, most of those Republicans are lawyers and in any lawsuit the lawyers pocket a third. So the surprise is what took ‘em so long. But they may end up with nothing. Obama can say, “Hey, I’m dead broke. In fact, I’m worse off than Hillary; I’m in the hole 17 trillion dollars.”
But impeachment is a whole different ball game. Democrats claim that Republicans are planning to impeach the President. I think they are actually encouraging impeachment because in 1998, after President Clinton was impeached, Democrats in Congress, surprisingly, picked up seats. Whether impeachment can work in 2014, I got my doubts. Does President Obama even have an intern?
Both parties are ignoring the problems facing the country. Instead they spend their time raising money for the election. Shucks, if they worked together to solve the problems, they wouldn’t need to raise millions of dollars. Voters would know how to vote without being bombarded with political ads.
Did you know the Al-Qaeda terrorists have a branch in Gaza? It’s called Hamas. There’s another branch of Al-Qaeda in Iraq and Syria, called ISIS. The goal of Hamas is to kill Jews and wipe Israel off the map. The goal of ISIS is to eliminate Christians, and so far, they are succeeding. Maybe we should start treating these terrorists as terrorists, not as a “government entity.”  Recently, our leaders have seemed more interested in protecting Muslims than Christians or Jews.
Hamas terrorists have proven they have no interest in honestly governing the residents of Gaza. The only skill they have is building tunnels. What about firing rockets, isn’t that a skill? Well, Hamas has fired thousands of rockets, but so far they have killed more of their own people than they have the enemy. Not very skillful.  But back to tunnels. They love to build tunnels, good ones lined with reinforced concrete. Let ‘em build a tunnel all the way from Gaza, under Israel, to the West Bank. It’s only about 20 miles. Then let the 1.8 million Palestinians in Gaza walk through it to the West Bank and resettle there, or in Jordan.
With 30 miles of available beachfront property on the Mediterranean imagine what a great luxury resort Gaza could become. Gaza could top the French Riviera and Monaco. Why climb steep hillsides when you can lie on a sandy beach in peace and tranquility. That’s just my idea, and I doubt it will ever get very far, because this is not a time for common sense.

Historic quote by Will Rogers:
“In this country people don’t vote for, they vote against… And this year it will either be for or against (the President). The whole thing will depend on conditions.” Radio, June 9, 1935