Will mentions a possible jolt for the economy

Sept. 25, 2011

COLUMBUS: President Obama was back in Ohio (his second home) to give a speech in Cincinnati. He was there to warn drivers about a bridge that might collapse into the Ohio River if we don’t borrow millions of dollars to replace it before the next election.

Thousands of people cross that Interstate bridge every day, and I don’t doubt the President is deeply concerned about their safety, even if most of them are Republicans. But it is pretty clear his main interest is to give people a job and jolt the economy.

Maybe he can do what Calvin Coolidge and Lyndon Johnson did. Just say, “I choose not to run for another term.” Now I don’t expect him to do it, and don’t want him to. But if he did, it would be a tremendous jolt. Look at all the jobs created by the dozen Republicans running for President. And if you added a dozen Democrats to the race it would double the mudslinging. Just cleaning up after those birds, look at all the shovel-ready jobs.

The President wants to spend $450 Billion, but he wants to reduce the deficit. Today I read in the newspaper a good place to start: stop sending checks to dead Federal retirees. In 2005 an investigator gave the government 14 steps to eliminate this waste. Six years and $600,000,000 later, the department in charge of retirement checks has adopted 10 of the steps. Apparently one of the four steps they have not tried yet is this: Before you hand over the monthly check ask them, “Are you still alive?”

In fact that might be a good question to ask the current employees in that department.

Speaking of Republican candidates, the only two who have won anything so far are Michelle Bachmann and Herman Cain. Now they were only “straw polls”, but does it make you wonder why Perry and Romney are getting all the attention? It’s a long horse race and what a horse does in the first couple of strides doesn’t count for much. But a stumble or two can cause heartburn for a bettor.

Historic quotes by Will Rogers:
“Last year we said, ‘Things can’t go on like this!’ They didn’t. They got worse.” 
Jan. 11, 1930

“Do you think the world leaders can get us out of this (economic mess)? They might, ignorance got us in.
Do you think we will get out of this depression just because we got out of all the others? Lots of folks drown that’s been in the water before.” 
DT #2002, Jan. 3, 1931

 “We used to call Depression a State of mind, now it’s a State of health. It’s really not Depression, it’s just a return to normalcy.” WA #461, Oct 25, 1931

Warren Buffett and friends may fund Santa Claus

Sept. 18, 2011

COLUMBUS: Last week the President announced he wanted to play Santa Claus with $450 Billion, and this week he let us in on where the money is coming from: Warren Buffett.

Warren reportedly told the President that he needs to be taxed more on his capital. But you notice he only said it after he gave 95 percent of it to Bill Gates’ charity. Now, I don‘t blame him, and he and Bill will likely put it to better use than the president would.

But the president is going to be in for a terrible jolt. He was asked why he wants to tax millionaires, and he said, “We have to get it from those that have got it.” Well, Warren don’t got it. At least not $450 Billion.

So Mr. Obama will have to round up a few more millionaires for contributions. He might say to an Oklahoma oil millionaire, for example, “Don’t gamble your wealth by drilling more oil wells; let the government have it so we can invest in something more environmentally friendly and dependable, like a company building solar panels.”

They used to have a death tax of close to 100% on big millionaires and billionaires, but the problem today is they aren’t dying off quick enough. They keep hanging on and their money keeps piling up where the government can’t get ahold of it. And President really wants this money while he’s still in.

Historic quotes by Will Rogers:

“There has been more “optimism” talked and less practiced than at any time during our history.  Every millionaire has offered a speech instead of keeping still and offering a job.  Our optimism is all at a banquet table, where everybody there has more than they can eat.” DT #1327, Oct. 24, 1930

 “They ain’t got a thing in the world the matter with ‘em only they are millionaires. You can’t legitimately kick on taxes when the money has been made. It’s taxes on farms, ranches and business property that has lost money for years (that) have the holler coming.” DT #2184, Aug. 3, 1933

“On an estate of say $10 million, why the government will take about 90 percent of it, and then giving the off-spring 10.  And then on estates of a 100 million, 200 million, a billion, and like that, well, the government just takes all of that and notifies the heirs, “Your father died a pauper here today, and he’s being buried by the Millionaires’ Emergency Burial Association.” Radio, April 28, 1935

President is Santa; will Congress be Scrooge?

Sept. 11, 2011

COLUMBUS: President Obama delivered his Jobs Speech to Congress, describing a new stimulus plan to create thousands of jobs with $450 Billion. Only problem is he doesn’t HAVE $450 Billion.

He played Santa Claus, and expects the 535 folks sitting in front of him that night to be the elves. He practically told them, “It’s September. I know you can come up with $450 Billion by Christmas.” And now, he’s traveling the country (in his sleigh), telling folks what great presents await them under the tree as long as Congress doesn’t turn into Scrooge.

Now, mind you, this is on top of the $1.5 Trillion Congress already has to save. Another thing they are trying to “save” is Medicare and Social Security so they don’t run dry in a few years. I believe I heard the President say that next year workers and their employers will get to keep about half of what they have been paying into Social Security. No doubt that’s popular with workers, but is the President trying to save Social Security, or bankrupt it quicker?

Secretary of Agriculture Tom Vilsack was in Columbus Friday to learn how engineers are coming up with useful products made from stuff we used to throw away. He learned how they are making rubber out of dandelions, and asphalt from cow manure. And when soybeans are turned into diesel fuel there’s a black gooey liquid left over. Would you believe that that gooey liquid now replaces oil in making the polyurethane cushions for the front seat of your Ford.

Vilsack, who you may remember was governor of Iowa, announced that, “Agriculture is cool again.” He could have also added that, economically, agriculture is really hot. With a few notable exceptions, farmers and ranchers did not see a recession. Even with the floods, drought, and hurricanes, they will have a bountiful harvest this year. I don’t know what kind of Christmas Congress and the President will have, but for most farmers it will be a merry one.

Saturday night Notre Dame and Michigan played a so-called “throw-back” football game.  For awhile I thought I saw Knute Rockne on the Irish sideline. But with 3 touchdowns in the final minute or so, old time football quickly turned into something even more exciting.

Historic quotes by Will Rogers:
“You know, the national problem in this country today is not who shall be relieved and whose money shall relieve him, but who shall be the one that plays Santa Claus, and actually hands out the presents.”
 Radio broadcast, April 21, 1935

“I don’t know whether my old friend, Knute Rockne, and Notre Dame are going to win the world’s championship again this Fall, but he deserves it if they don’t win another game. For they are the only big team that starts playing tough teams right from the jump. These others play Rotary clubs and business colleges till about Thanksgiving, then have one tough game. Knute thinks if you got a football team, it ought to be a football team from the Fourth of July to Christmas.” DT #1310, Oct. 5, 1930

Will offers no new ideas for Obama’s speech

COLUMBUS: Dick Cheney wrote a memoir. The former Vice-President has been on every possible TV and radio talk show in the past couple of weeks promoting it. Each host has been grilling him to find out if he read it.

President Obama is working on his speech for Thursday night. There’s plenty of editorial writers and commentators telling him what he ought to say. I don’t have any new ideas on how to put millions of people back to work. Lord knows the ones I have put out in the past have not helped. Of course, they have not been adopted either.

But I do have a suggestion. He should watch the Republican debate on Wednesday night and take notes. See if maybe there are two or three ideas he can grab onto and include in his speech. That would shock the Republicans in Congress and maybe appease them enough to vote for his plan.

The President has already taken two steps that will save money. He changed his mind and announced that if an old traffic sign can be seen and read there’s no need to replace it with a new model. And our current air standards do not need to be any stricter. That’s good news for cattle; they can roam the range without worry about kicking up a little dust and facing arrest by EPA inspectors.

Vermont got flooded out by the Hurricane, and it’s still raining. But they ain’t complaining. In fact they want you to come and visit during the fall leaf season. The floods only tore up roads and bridges; the trees on the hills will be as colorful as ever. If necessary they will meet you at the state line with an ATV and haul you around.

Historic quotes by Will Rogers:

“Tomorrow is Labor Day, I  suppose set by act of Congress. Everything we do nowadays is either by or against acts of Congress. How Congress knew anything about labor is beyond us.” DT #967, Sept. 1, 1929
“Memoirs –  That’s a Cherokee word; means when you put down the good things you ought to have done, and leave out the bad ones you did do.” Saturday Evening Post, March 12, 1932
“There ain’t nothing that breaks up homes, country and nations like somebody publishing their memoirs.” DT #2615, Dec. 23, 1934
“(Concerning hills) Vermont has got Black ones, Green ones, White ones, any kind, color, shape or size Hill that you want. Vermont has misplaced more Hills than (South) Dakota’s Chamber of Commerce has on their list. Vermont has more hills in what they call their valleys than Dakota can produce on top of their hills. A Vermont farm don’t lay. It hangs. When your corn grows up big enough to gather, you go up on the farm and shake the ears off and they fall in the barn.” WA #235, June 12, 1927