Month: April 2023

You have heard of Chat GPT, a magical way of writing intelligent sounding articles in a hurry. It’s called “Artificial Intelligence,” or AI. I liked it better, growing up on a cattle farm, when AI meant Artificial Insemination. Either way, AI can improve the product, partly by leaving out the bull.

Interestingly, Will Rogers wrote about an author a hundred years ago who may have stumbled on an early version of Chat GPT: “A professor of Columbia University won a prize for writing a book in 15 hours. That’s a good thing. The quicker the authors write them the quicker they can get to some useful work.”  (WA #49, Nov. 18, 1923)

In that same Weekly Article, Will joked about his own writing style: “I am changing my entire method of Literature, and I hereby bid Adieu to my half-wit audience. A writer’s writings never appeal to a higher grade of intelligence than the writer himself. So, from now on, I am going to give these learned and heavy thinkers a run for their laurels.”

I’m writing this article without any assistance from AI. Like Will, I just watch the government and report the facts. I don’t even have to exaggerate.

The arguments over our energy sources are getting ridiculous. Currently, about 75% comes from fossil fuel and 10% nuclear. Those sources of dependable energy have powered our economy to global leadership over the last ~150 years. Yet political leaders, from national to local, are expecting us to abandon those abundant, reasonably priced sources and go 100% to solar and wind in 10 to 20 years. The realistic prediction is that in 2050 we’ll use just as much fossil fuel as today, plus an increased amount of renewable, weather-dependent energy.

Governor Gavin Newsom of California wants to ban diesel trucks. And I’m guessing that if he ever gets elected President, he would also ban diesel fuel in locomotives, bulldozers, and farm tractors.  New York is banning gas stoves, which are used in more than half of homes and in every restaurant.

But the craziest ban of fossil fuels came from Energy Secretary Granholm. She claims that by 2030, the Defense Department will convert all powered equipment on land, sea, and air to run on solar and wind energy. She seems to believe all our future wars will only be fought where the sun shines and the wind blows. Does she think the warring sides will declare a 2-hour truce every day at noon so they can recharge batteries?

Have you heard of “equitable grading” in schools? Why has “equal opportunity” been replaced by “equity outcome?” Turning in homework late, or not at all, makes no difference. Take tests over again to improve your grade. And a few colleges refuse to use ACT or SAT test scores in accepting new students.

Can you imagine if the National Football League used a similar “equity” arrangement to draft college players?  The Carolina Panthers had the first pick Thursday night and selected a quarterback, Bryce Young of Alabama. With “equity grading” the names of all hundred or so eligible quarterbacks would have been put in a hat and the Panthers would have pulled out a random name. A team that wanted a defensive lineman would have selected from a different hat with a few hundred names, and so on. Would anyone watch the games?

A grade school in Vermont has eliminated “male” and “female.”  Now, I may get kicked off the internet, but I’ll risk it to tell you what 5^th grade students are being taught. “Male” has been replaced by “person who produces sperm” and “Female” is a “person who produces eggs.” Perhaps there’s nothing inappropriate with this precise description. Frankly, those descriptions could solve a current controversial issue if they applied it to high school and college sports.

Are you buying a house? If you have a great credit score because you paid off student loans, sacrificed, and keep your credit card balances low or zero you would expect to get a better deal on your interest rate. On the other hand, if your credit cards are maxed out, you are behind on repaying student loans, both of your cars are in danger of being repossessed, you would expect it would be hard to get a mortgage, and the rate would be higher. Well, in both cases you would be wrong. In Washington DC, common sense is turned upside down.

In case you missed the 3-minute video, President Biden announced that he and VP Kamala Harris are running for re-election in 2024 against Donald Trump and Marjorie Taylor Greene.

Historic quotes by Will Rogers:

“We are just here for a spell and pass on… So get a few laughs, do the best you can.” WA #445, July 5, 1931

Income Tax Day is past. I’m guessing the federal government will collect a record amount of revenue this year. Yet, President Biden insists we spend at least a Trillion dollars more than we take in. The Speaker of the House, Kevin McCarthy, has offered a budget equal to 2022, and to increase it by 1% a year for 10 years.

But President Biden claims our government cannot operate if we cut a single program, agency, or department. He says we need every one of the 2,000,000 federal employees. What would our economy be like if none of our big companies eliminated a position or fired an employee? What would a President Elon Musk do with the leaders of the Dept. of Homeland Security or Dept. of Education or any of the other 13 Cabinet level departments?

Last week I criticized the US Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) for wanting to ban all vehicles powered by gasoline or diesel by 2032. This week they proposed extreme requirements on capturing carbon that would eliminate coal, oil, and gas for generating electricity. EPA says our air is not clean enough to breathe.

I have two suggestions for the EPA: Out of the 17,000 who work there, send 200 of the top officials to several countries around the world for a month. Have them live among the average families in South America, Africa, India, and China. Then have them report their experiences with air quality to their EPA colleagues.

If they still complain about having to live here and breathe our air, give each of the 200, or even all 17,000, a gas mask and a life-time supply of oxygen. Let them enjoy 100% clean air while the rest of us inhale air that is 99.9% clean. Either way, it would keep our economy growing with abundant energy and save Trillions of dollars, much of which would otherwise go to China for solar panels, wind turbines, and raw materials for batteries.

You probably know that Chicago elected a mayor who is reducing the police force, raising taxes on businesses and wealthy individuals, and supporting a teacher’s union that’s lackadaisical about student achievement. In response, President Biden and VP Kamala Harris, seeing the increasing lawlessness, poverty, and growth of youth gangs, immediately decided that Chicago is the perfect place to host the Democratic Convention in 2024. Los Angeles, Milwaukee, New York City and Atlanta may have been considered but could not promise the chaos, upheaval and riots guaranteed by Chicago’s new mayor. I don’t know how many people are involved in putting on a DNC Convention, but in Chicago it will be doubled. Why? Because every delegate, Party official and media person will demand a bodyguard.

In New York City, Mayor Adams hired a person to drive millions of rats out of the city. That drew an immediate reply from PETA… on the side of the rats. These “People for Ethical Treatment of Animals” said rats are animals, too, and need protection. To keep the new Rat Czar from killing millions of these precious 4-legged mammals, PETA set up a website called “Adopt-a-Rat.com.” PETA’s nation-wide program is aimed at individuals and families that, for whatever reason, don’t want a “Rescue Dog” or “Rescue Cat” from a local shelter. PETA will ship you a “Rescue Rat” for a donation of only $19. And for a limited time, until May 31, they will double the offer, providing you TWO Rescue Rats. PETA has declared that May is “Save a Rat Month.” Adopting a pack of rats is the ideal gift for Mother’s Day.

You may be thinking, “All this for only $19? That’s less than a bouquet of roses.” Well, in the tiniest of fonts, (which I’ve blown up to normal size here) PETA’s rat offer is for $19… a month. And in even tinier print, it says you are agreeing to pay $19/month for 5 years, or until every rat in New York City has been adopted into a loving home.

(Ok, PETA is not rescuing any New York rats. If you want one, you’ve got to go there and trap it yourself, saving the $19/month.)

For the last two years no one connected with the Biden Administration has been able or willing to define a “woman.” But this week Secretary of Transportation Pete Buttigieg broke ranks. He publicly stated that he wants a woman. One that weighs about 115 pounds and is 5ft-4in tall. Now, this is a special woman, in fact so special she will cost $20 million. The Biden Administration finally recognizes there is a difference between men and women and that is why Sec. Buttigieg needs a female dummy for automobile crash tests. Male dummies have dominated the profession, and it’s time for a female dummy to slide into the driver’s seat.

Let’s hope this breakthrough in defining a difference between men and women will apply to the sports world so males can be prohibited from competing as females in high school, college, and beyond.

Historic quotes by Will Rogers:

“The Budget is a mythical beanbag. Congress votes mythical beans into it and then tries to reach in and pull real beans out.” DT#2047, Feb. 24, 1933

“Been out to a calf branding at the Quien Sabe Ranch… Didn’t mind all the men beating me roping, but when a girl did, it looks like golf will be coming on me pretty soon.” DT#2430, May 17, 1934

This is no time for humor. Income taxes are due.

Did Congress vote to eliminate gasoline and diesel engines in 10 years? If they did, I missed it.

But the Biden Administration announced a new rule that effectively forces us to buy Electric Vehicles. The rule doesn’t say that; instead, it places exorbitant restrictions on our favorite cars and trucks, powered by gasoline and diesel. The government is pressuring Ford, General Motors, and other car manufacturers to abandon internal combustion engines. They are making it more expensive to drill for oil, transport, and refine it.

Are you surprised that the US Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) is dominated by employees who are dedicated environmentalists. They are so dedicated to “saving the environment” that nothing else matters. No common sense. For instance, if the U.S. eliminated ALL fossil fuel, would that eliminate global warming?  No, because we only contribute 15% of the gases claimed to cause global temperatures to rise. Unless other countries, especially China and India follow suit, our sacrifice would have no effect on global temperatures and ocean levels.

But these EPA folks, led by Climate Czar John Kerry, argue that China will follow our lead. Well, President Nixon established diplomatic relations with China fifty years ago, and years later we negotiated free trade agreements. The intention was for the Communist Chinese to see how great democracy and capitalism are.

Unfortunately, it is not working out. China took advantage of free trade to become a world power, in position to knock us out of #1. At the same time, we are becoming weaker. China is expanding by burning coal, stealing our technology, and supplying raw materials for our EV batteries.  China took over Hong Kong and is planning to take control of Taiwan. Not exactly following democratic principles.

Russia arrested Evan Gershkovich, a reporter for the Wall Street Journal, charging him with espionage. Now they are offering the possibility of a prisoner swap. Here’s my suggestion for President Biden: Offer Putin ONE BATTLESHIP in exchange for Evan. While Putin is salivating at his good luck, Biden can explain, “Yes, you release Evan Gershkovich in 24 hours or we SINK one of your battleships.” Of course, it’s a ridiculous idea. But it might let Putin know that he can’t just arrest one of our journalists every time he wants us to release a top Russian spy.

Here’s a link to a 21-minute video of me and “Will Rogers”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wcPmaR3zGec
Plus a short “outtake” (50 seconds) of my reaction during an outdoor interview when a plane flies over:
https://youtube.com/shorts/tU2w_n0rmzU?feature=share  

Income taxes are due on Tuesday, April 18. We got a short reprieve this year. Below are a few favorite Will Rogers comments on taxes.

Historic quotes by Will Rogers: (on taxes)

     “The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has.” WA #17, April 8, 1923 (also WA #99, Nov. 2, 1924)

     “Finding things to tax is becoming quite a problem. You see when taxes first started, (who started ’em anyhow?) Noah must have taken into the ark two taxes, one male and one female, and did they multiply bountifully! Next to guinea pigs, taxes must have been the most prolific of animals.” WA #594, May 13, 1934

    “You can’t legitimately kick on income tax, for it’s on what you have made. You have already made it. But, look at land, farms, homes, stores, vacant lots. You pay year after year on them whether you make it or not.” DT #1798, April 28, 1932

    “The whole trouble with the Republicans is their fear of an increase in income tax, especially on higher incomes. They speak of it almost like a national calamity. I really believe if it come to a vote whether to go to war with England, France and Germany combined, or raise the rate on incomes of over $100,000, they would vote war.” DT #1435, Feb. 27, 1931 [in 1931, the top rate increased to 63%, from 58% previously]

    “The crime of taxation is not in the taking it, it’s in the way that it’s spent.” DT #1764, March 20, 1932

     “If your Income Taxes go to help out the less fortunate, there could be no legitimate kick against it in the world.” WA #421, Jan. 18, 1931

The arrest of Donald Trump last week created a “made-for-TV” spectacle. He flew from Mar-a-Lago to New York City on his private jet, stayed overnight, appeared briefly in court, and flew home. Newscasters reported Trump and his Boeing 757 drew more viewers than O. J. Simpson and his Ford Bronco.

You may be thinking Trump’s round trip flight was expensive. But the cost is small compared to the $4,000,000 it cost New York City taxpayers to pay for police protection for those 24 hours.

After arresting Trump, District Attorney Alvin Bragg triumphantly announced, “We cannot and will not normalize serious criminal conduct.” Interesting that he ranks a payoff to a porn actress as serious, but not conduct that is increasingly normal in his district, including car-jacking, flash mob robberies, rape, and murder.

In Chicago, you may remember a month ago the voters kicked out Mayor Lori Lightfoot because she let crime get out of control, big companies and wealthy residents are leaving the city, and schools are a disaster. Last Tuesday, in the runoff election, voters picked Brandon Johnson who campaigned on higher taxes for businesses, fewer police, and higher salaries for teachers. He is a community organizer and he had the support of teachers, government workers and other union members. They provided all the votes he needed since only a third of the people voted. (Will Rogers wrote this about Congress, but it applies here: “Have you noticed that no matter who we elect, he is just as bad as the one he replaces?”)

You can’t blame the teachers for supporting a man who promised to raise their salaries. But what about the parents? I read that 95% of Chicago students are far behind their grade level. But if you’re teaching Freshman English you sure don’t want to upset a bunch of 220-pound 17-year olds by correcting their punctuation. Some of them are armed!

As Will Rogers wrote in 1926, “Playing [speaking in] Chicago tomorrow night, perhaps. Hope I reach the stage before the machine gun bullets lay me low.” If Chicago continues its decline, will it become the next Detroit? On Easter Sunday, we can hope Chicago can be resurrected. But it will take a savior who adopts strict rules like Rudy Giuliani’s “broken window” policies on small crimes in New York several years ago.

Russia’s War on Ukraine continues. Many Americans are wondering why we keep sending Billions of dollars to Ukraine with President Biden’s promise to continue “as long as it takes.” I’ve already told you my view: help defeat Russia (Putin) “as soon as possible.” My top reason is seldom mentioned by others: Ukraine has about 20% of the best farm soil in the world. And Russia has about 20%, right across the border. (The US has about 20% of this rich, black soil also, some of it 6 feet deep, mainly in Iowa and Illinois.) You may remember, for decades Ukraine was called the “Breadbasket of Europe.”

Western Europe learned how dangerous it is for Russia to provide all their natural gas. If Putin wins control of ~40% of the most productive farmland in the world, their food supply could also be in jeopardy.

Speaking of natural gas for Europe, Senator Joe Manchin, D-WV, continues to get shafted by Congress, the Biden Administration, and now, the US 4^th Circuit Court. Manchin was tricked into supporting the (falsely named) “Inflation Reduction Act” last summer with a promise that essential natural gas pipelines would get federal approval. The Mountain Valley Pipeline is 90% complete, but the judges agree with environmental activists who, according to Manchin, “seem hell-bent on killing any fossil energy that will make our country energy independent and secure.” One purpose of this pipeline, and others, is to transport natural gas from the “Shale Crescent” (Ohio, West Virginia, and Pennsylvania) to the East Coast where part of it would be cooled to Liquefied Natural Gas (LNG) and shipped to Europe to replace Russian gas.

I hope you had a blessed Easter. I’ve seen several lovely photos on Facebook of families all dressed up in their Easter finery. In 1929, Will Rogers wrote, “I believe I discovered a way to aid preachers in getting people to church. Publish their pictures in the papers every Monday, instead of just on the day after Easter. There is no reason why people should have to wait from one Easter to another.”

Historic quote by Will Rogers:

“There was no shooting in Chicago election day, but it will drop back to normal right away.” DT #219, Apr. 6, 1927

Former President Trump knew it was coming. On Tuesday, on orders from District Attorney Alvin Bragg, Donald Trump will be arrested and walked into the Courthouse in Manhattan.

It will be a huge event. Bigger than the Easter Parade. Bigger than a World Series win by the Yankees. Even bigger than… well, it is so big Mayor Adams has ordered all 36,000 NYC police to be on duty. Probably several thousand will surround the Courthouse. (That kinda makes you wonder why all Washington, DC police weren’t on duty on January 6.)

While crime in New York City is rampant with murders, drugs on every corner, and subway attacks, Alvin Bragg is bragging that he’s the first prosecutor to take down a former President of the United States in 250 years. Many say he is abusing criminal law. Of course, he’s not the only one thrilled about Trump’s demise. Most television opinion commentators are overjoyed about the former President being arrested. “No one is above the law!” they shout, almost in unison. “No one is above the law!”

One of my old friends excitedly announced on Facebook that the news of Trump’s upcoming arrest was the best birthday present he ever received.

Do you know what Trump did that led to this arrest? Seven years ago, he is accused of giving $130,000 of his own money to Stormy Daniels to keep quiet. (One of my female friends figures that a man of Trump’s age probably needed some “uplifting assistance.” She doesn’t think he is guilty, but if successful, it was worth the money.)

Now, Trump’s alleged actions may be opposed to your moral character, but is it against the law?

Contrast this Trump situation to a politician who receives (not gives) Millions (not thousands) from China. Does that deserve arrest and years in a federal prison? Well, we may find out in 3 or 4 years if a biased Republican District Attorney, bent on revenge, decides to indict Joe Biden.

Michigan State has joined several other universities in creating a list of words and phrases that no one should use because they might offend a student. We would all agree there are certain words that we don’t use in polite company. Some were routine and accepted many years ago, but not in 2023.

Now, pretend you are in a class at one of these elite schools and you get this question on a quiz: Which of the following words and phrases is NOT objectionable? Pioneer; Grandfather clause; Gift; America; Playboy bunnies; Rule of thumb; Eggs; Female; Cake walk; Bonkers; Overweight; Senior; Hold down the fort; and Christmas.

Before I reveal the answer, let me assure you that serious students do not have the time or inclination to waste precious hours on such drivel and poppycock. It is only students in easy classes, and excess administrators, who have too much free time on their hands. And I’m guessing next year they will ban “poppycock.”

Okay, which one did you pick? The only one on that list that is acceptable at Michigan State is… Playboy bunnies. Shocked? Oddly, the word “bunnies” by itself is on the do-not-utter list.

I was going to wish you (at least most of you) a Happy Easter. But at several colleges, “Easter” is forbidden. Lord help us.

Historic quotes by Will Rogers:

“Say, did you read what this writer just dug up in George Washington’s diary? I was so ashamed I sat up all night reading it.” DT #416, Nov. 21, 1927

“Many a politician wishes there was a law to burn old records.” DT #627, July 30, 1928

“A college president’s work nowadays consists of thinking up new things for the students to play with that looks like studying.” DT #798, Feb. 15, 1929