Author: Randall Reeder

Columbus:(Yes, this town is still Columbus, at least for another week): Since the Civil War, has this country ever been as divided as it now?

Here’s Will Rogers on an idea of dividing the country. (This was his last radio broadcast, June 9, 1935.)  As you read it, you can insert Biden in place of FDR, and Trump for the Republicans.

“We ought to split this country up, anyhow.  Let the Republicans have the East.  You see?  Let the Republicans have all the East, with Wall Street, and then let ’em run it just like they want to.  And then the Democrats take the West.

 Take (Franklin)Roosevelt, too.  Take him for a while, if he makes good.   If he don’t we’ll let him out, see?   We’ll just take him on trial. And we call it Roosewest.   

 He could come out here in these broad spaces where he could try pretty near any plan he wanted.  And things are so far apart you couldn’t tell whether it’s working or not.  Then the beauty about him, if he was out here and the Democrats were all out here there’d be no Supreme Court to worry anybody, ’cause nobody on that court ever was west of the Mississippi River, anyhow.   No New York Herald or Chicago Tribune to make life miserable for him. They’ve got about the same standing out here as the Police Gazette.

 If a person wants to be a Republican, why let him go East, and if he wants to be a Democrat, why come West.   And if he’s not so hot about either party, why let him go down to Louisiana (with Huey Long). He can go down there with Huey and share the cotton, and share the mule, and share the corn pone, and the pot likker, and chittlins, and everything.  And let Huey have the dissatisfied from both sides.

 Then take the Army and Navy. Let one have the Army and the other one the Navy.   See?  Then they never could fight. There wouldn’t be any fight because the Army wouldn’t have a boat and the Navy wouldn’t have a horse or a Ford.  That way you’d keep ’em from fightin’.

 It’s got some possibilities at that. I know a lot of you will say, “We must preserve the Union.” You’ve heard that.  “We must preserve the Union.”  Well, the Union is over preserved right now. It’s pretty near pickled.

 When Roosevelt comes west to take over the management of the Democrats, he’s got to leave those professors back there. We’re not going to let him bring any professors out here.  He’s got to come out on his own. And that Astor yacht, too, it don’t fit in with Jeffersonian principles.  A yacht is purely a Republican tool. If he wants to fish, we’ll give him a can of worms and let him go to Hoover Dam. Can you imagine a Democratic president sittin’ in there fishin’ in Hoover Dam?

 I don’t know who the Republicans would have to run their country.   I guess they’d run it like they do all their business, with a board of directors.  A Republican don’t feel good unless he’s on a board of directors.

 Course they’d have all the money. The Republicans would have all the money, but the Democrats would have all the fun.  We’d have a lot of fun.  All the rich Republicans would naturally go back East to be among people of their own standing.   Then, if the country split that would naturally do away with the national debt.  We’d split up and that would do away with the debt, see?   Both sides would start in owing nothing.   And the Republicans would perhaps continue the same way. But the Democrats, it wouldn’t take them long to dig up a deficit.  And then the Democrats could take whatever they’re using for money, and they could inflate or do anything they wanted to with it. And the Republicans, who say we should never have gone off the gold, well, if they had their own country, they could go back on it, if they want to.

 I can’t picture, personally, a more ideal existence all around.   The only trouble would be neither one would be happy because they wouldn’t have nobody to lay anything on to.

So I doubt if the plan will ever get very far, because this is not a time for common sense.” Radio, June 9, 1935

Cowtown: Statues have become our newest endangered species.

What do these statues have in common? Christopher Columbus, Robert E. Lee, Ulysses S. Grant, George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Francis Scott Key, Abraham Lincoln, Teddy Roosevelt, Andrew Jackson, William Penn Adair, and Will Rogers.

And Speaker Pelosi plans to, personally, pull down eleven other statues in the Capitol Rotunda.

Most of these statues have been around a hundred years. If they are removed from public sight it will be interesting to see in 5 or 10 years how much the IQ of offended individuals has changed. Their wages will undoubtedly rise. Our great country, finally, will be blessed with peace and harmony.

Are you wondering what these famous and honorable men did to deserve scorn? A few are obvious, but for others you really have to dig deep to find something to be mad about. It’s kinda like a person who got stung by a honeybee and demanded we get rid of all honeybees. Wait, honeybees are essential for pollinating crops, and give us delicious honey. But no, the stinger means they’ve got to go.

All the statues listed above, except Will Rogers, have been attacked. (Actually, the Will Rogers statue at Lubbock gets “attacked” by Texas Tech students before every football game, with red crepe paper.) The statue at the main entrance to the House of Representatives is in danger if Speaker Pelosi finds out his full name is William Penn Adair Rogers. Will was named after Confederate Col. William Penn Adair. Will’s dad, Clem, served under Col. Adair.

You may have noticed I started this column with the dateline listed as Cowtown, not Columbus. With all the uproar, this town already removed two of its three Columbus statues and changing the name is being hotly debated. If it’s put to a popular vote, Columbus, Ohio, has no more chance of changing its name than does the John Wayne Airport in California.

Defund the Police has become a popular slogan among Democrats in a few cities. But don’t be concerned about those officers being knocked out of a job. With no police department, every one of them will receive a half dozen offers to become a guard for city businesses and scared homeowners. You’ll also see dozens of new businesses that build walls and high fences with secure gates around homes or entire communities.

Historic quotes by Will Rogers:

“There is no country in the world where a person changes from a hero to a goat… as they do with us. And all in no change to them. The change is always in us.” Notes. (undated)

“This thing of being a hero, about the main thing to do is to know when to die. Prolonged life has ruined more men than it ever made.” DT #616, July 17, 1928

“Policemen used to carry a Billy that they used to crack over Crooks’ Heads. Now they have discarded that and have a Whistle. That’s why there is so much crime. Whistling at a Crook is not near as effective as to Crack him On the Bean with a Hickory Stick.” WA #129, May 31, 1925

Did you hear about the furor at the New York Times over “Op-eds?” This distinguished paper published “Op-eds” by Russian leader Vladimir Putin, the Taliban (a cousin of ISIS in Afghanistan), and a US Senator from Arkansas. After an uproar, the Editor in charge of op-eds was fired.

Can you guess which op-ed author created the uproar? Well, it was not the Communist. It was not the Muslim terrorist. Yes, a Republican Senator caused the furor. Oh, it was not the readers who were furious; it was the employees!

In 1932 “I” had my own dispute with the paper. The NY Times syndicated my daily and weekly columns, but the Editor took exception to my comments. He did not like that I insisted European countries repay the money they borrowed from us to fund the World War (“Pay or Default”). In my own way I responded to his editorial in my next syndicated article:

“I would like to state to the readers of THE NEW YORK TIMES that I am in no way responsible for the editorial or political policy of this paper. I allow them free reign as to their opinion, so long as it is within the bounds of good subscription gathering. But I want it distinctly understood that their policy may be in direct contrast to mine. Their editorials may be put in purely for humor, or just to fill space. Every paper must have its various entertaining features, and their editorials are not always to be taken seriously, and never to be construed as my policy.” DT #1979, Dec. 7, 1932

(Adolph Simon Ochs was the Publisher back then, and his great-grandson, A. G. Sulzberger, is the Publisher today.)

Have you noticed there is a distinct difference between “peaceful protesters” and “rioters/looters?” Of course you do. Does that make you wonder why many newscasters and public officials do not distinguish between them?

I don’t think it was peaceful protesters who burned a police headquarters in Minneapolis, stole Rolex watches worth $2.5 million from a jewelry store in Beverly Hills, ransacked the iconic Macy’s store in New York, or destroyed/vandalized thousands of businesses and government properties. By the way, I think the police will keep an eye on pawn shops and eBay to track down the thieves. That assumes mayors and council members do not eliminate the police.

“Defund the Police” is a new theme among some mayors (including the one in Washington, DC) and other Democrats. Gee, I hope Joe Biden does not allow that to be his slogan for November. That would be as disastrous as the one used by Democrats 96 years ago: “(In 1924, John W. Davis) foolishly ran on Honesty, and I told him at the time he would never get anywhere on it. It was too radical for Politics. Mr. Coolidge ran on Common Sense and the returns showed that there was 8 million people in the United States who had Common Sense enough not to believe that there was Honesty in politics.” WA #101, Nov. 16, 1924

Will Rogers was quarter-blood Cherokee. He is famous for saying, “I never met a man I didn’t like.” Today, he would say “person.”

You probably know that humor can reduce stress. In this time of “Stay 6 feet away,” humor can also bring us closer together. Of course, if your humor makes fun of a person it can make ‘em wish you were 6 miles away.

Well, I’m gonna show you how to create your own humor.

We have all been watching Governors and Mayors presenting updates on COVID-19. And they usually have a Sign Language interpreter right beside of ‘em. These folks are expert communicators and they use exaggerated facial expressions and body language in addition to signing with their hands. Sometimes, I wish the elected official was equally expressive.

Naturally, while watching more television we’re sitting through more commercials. Many are for pharmaceutical drugs that have side effects. After bragging about the terrific health benefits, they are required to give the negative side effects. But when you are watching, the scary words are always overshadowed by lovely images of people, miraculously healed. They’re dancing, playing with grandchildren, jogging in a park, leading a band, or just having a grand ole time.

So here is how you have fun with this. When a drug commercial is half done, listen closely to the scary side effects BUT ignore the beautiful images. Instead, picture a Sign Language expert interpreting the frightening words.

I’ll get you started. Here are actual phrases from commercials. Picture an animated Sign Language interpreter as you read these:

“Do not take if pregnant. It can cause harm or death to an unborn baby.”
“Side effects include low blood pressure and kidney problems.”
“Can make you suicidal and lead to fatal throat swelling.”
“Side effects include Constipation, Skin rash, Diarrhea, and Dizziness.”
“May give intense urges to gamble, spend money, eat compulsively, and engage in sex.”

Humor will help get us through this Pandemic. And that little payment from the federal government won’t hurt either.

Historic quote by Will Rogers:

“We cuss the lawmakers, but I notice we’re always perfectly willin’ to share in any of the sums of money that they might distribute.  We cuss ’em for distributing it, we say it’s wrong and unsound, but we don’t refuse to take it.   No, we’ll grab it every time. We say our government is nutty and that it’s throwing away money.   But anytime any is thrown our way, why we’ve never dodged it.” Radio, Apr. 7, 1935

You might have missed the big news out of Washington last week. It wasn’t the coronavirus; we’ve had a steady diet of that, day and night.

The news that kinda slipped out is that Lt. Gen. Mike Flynn had all charges against him dropped. Back in January 2017, the FBI tricked him into pleading guilty to made-up charges related to Russia.  Then his lawyers charged him over a million dollars and still didn’t get him off at the time. They ought to give half of it back to him, and the top guys at the FBI that duped him ought to pay the other half.

Also last week, the Director of National Intelligence published transcripts of secret testimony to the House Intelligence committee from a year or two ago. The same top FBI and other Intelligence folks that testified, under oath, have been telling us on television the complete opposite of what they said to Congress. And the Chair of that committee, who heard the truth, has been lying to us about having solid evidence to the contrary. They were telling us they knew that Trump and Putin conspired to steal the 2016 election. Well, lo and behold, in their official testimony they gave no evidence at all.

You will notice I did not name these scoundrels. I like the policy of our best news media who, when there’s a mass murder, they don’t name the culprit because he most likely wants the publicity and become famous.

This whole episode brings up an important point in the Constitution. If it’s illegal for these scoundrels to lie to Congress why isn’t it illegal for them (and Congressmen) to lie to us?

On that coronavirus, we’re learning that it probably did not come from a Lab in Wuhan and it wasn’t created by a mad scientist with GMOs. It probably came from a wild animal that bit somebody as far back as October. The ones to blame are the Communist Chinese leaders. They moved quickly to protect the rest of their country, but turned the virus loose on the rest of the world. They bribed the W.H.O. to lie for ‘em so no one would be suspicious until it was too late.

The only long-term solution is to get rid of the Communist rulers. President Reagan did it with the USSR in the 1980s. You remember: “Mr. Gorbachev, tear down that wall!”

But Chinese Communists are different. We’ve been making friends with ‘em for thirty years, trying to butter ‘em up and get them to change. They pretended to change, got a slew of our manufacturing moved to China, and they buy our farm goods at a bargain price. But they are still devious communists aiming to beat us. An internal revolt won’t be easy, just ask Venezuelans. But until communism is tossed out and they get Taiwan and Hong Kong to show ‘em how to prosper in freedom, China will keep tormenting the world. And releasing other viruses.

Historic quotes by Will Rogers:

“If you ever injected truth into politics you have no politics.” WA #31, July 15, 1923

“The Chinese as a race have forgot more honesty, and gentlemanliness than we will ever know if we live another Century.” WA #217, Feb. 6, 1927

You probably know I like our local newspaper; read it every day, front to back. Yesterday the paper had an editorial that really caught my eye. After 4 months of investigating the coronavirus, the editorial board conclusively determined the Number One cause of the pandemic is… beef cattle.

Who would ever imagine that our ranchers out West and farmers in Appalachia could be the culprits? The editorial also took a whack at our corn producers for gobbling up so much land just to satisfy our appetite for beef. What these city editors don’t realize is that for about three-fourths of its life an Angus or Hereford steer is eating grass from Western rangeland or hillside pastures back East. Neither location is fit for growing massive amounts of vegetables the editors want us all to live on.

An editorial cartoon by Toles on the same page showed a meatpacking plant. For every truckload of beef leaving the plant a sick worker was hauled away in an ambulance. Now, we know that Tyson and Smithfield and other meat packers have been hit with Covid-19 and that is the main reason grocery stores are running low on beef, pork and chicken. In retrospect those huge plants should have used a plan adopted by at least one supplier of medical supplies; they had all workers stay onsite for a month, working 12-hour shifts. That way no one could bring the virus into the plant and contaminate the workforce. Our meatpacking plants are essential for consumers and to keep farmers from having to depopulate their animals.

Our hometown paper is not the only one studying Covid-19. Speaker Pelosi and the Chair of the House Intel committee, Adam Schiff, don’t like this virus either. They want answers to why they did not learn until late February about a virus that started in Wuhan in November. So, working remotely from home, they have opened a wide-ranging global investigation. You might think they would start with the Communist Party rulers in Beijing. No, they are investigating the role of President Trump.

The U.S. and most other countries are going deeper in debt because of the coronavirus that started in China. After Congress approved over four Trillion in “printing press” dollars, they will likely allocate another two Trillion to states and cities that are broke. Remarkably, there’s only one foreign country that has plenty of excess cash to invest here in our airplanes, oilfields and farmland.  Yes, China.

If all this disgusts you, the one you should have a beef with is China.

Do you remember when Trump announced he had “total authority” on when and how to reopen the country to business? Critics jumped all over that proclamation. It’s unconstitutional! But with so many protests in state capitols, I bet a lot of governors wish he had kept that authority.

Our Ohio Governor has been praised for his handling of Covid. He announced the reopening of certain businesses, including dentists, starting May 1 and others by May 16. But not barbers and hair salons. I received an email from our dentist outlining the new procedures to keep us and his staff protected. I emailed back and asked, “If I come in for a tooth cleaning, could you also give me a haircut?”

Historic quotes by Will Rogers:

“All I know is what I read in the papers.” WA #129, May 31, 1925

“Steak on the plate went up. Steak on the hoof went down.” WA #118, March 15, 1925

“The President goes on the air tonight. I am anxious to hear the comments in the press. Even if it’s good, there is plenty of ‘em won’t like it. He can speak on the Lord’s Supper and get editorials against it. Never in our history was we as willing to blame somebody else for our troubles. America is just like an insane asylum. There is not a soul in it will admit they are crazy. Roosevelt being the warden at the present time, us inmates know he is the one that’s cuckoo.” DT #2723, Apr. 28, 1935

What’s your feeling about this coronavirus and its effect on the US and the world? Are you optimistic that life can return to “near normal” by July? After all, sunshine and life outdoors in warm weather should kill off the virus.

Or are you pessimistic? Do you expect most of the country will stay shut down until sometime next year? No baseball or football games, or at least no fans in the seats? November voting only by mail? Celebrating Christmas with the family on Zoom?

Or are you realistic? That’s the option in the middle. Instead of placing bets on either an early or late resumption of business, take it one day at a time. Maybe most folks can go back to work but the old folks and anyone with lung problems remain cautious. Many will continue to work from home. If you’re in a crowd, on a subway or airplane, wear a mask and don’t touch anything. Just be glad that, unlike after 9/11, everyone can keep their shoes on. Masks won’t do anything for smelly socks.

Don’t compare this coronavirus to previous coronaviruses or other major causes of death.  This one from Wuhan is more contagious and easily passed along, even by a person with no symptoms. The good news is that a lot of people have already had Covid-19 and didn’t know it. And once you’ve had it, like mumps and German measles, you probably won’t get again.

Do you remember a couple of months ago the medical professionals predicted between one million and two million would die? That estimate may seem like many moons ago. Unless too many of us start disobeying the recommended practices, we may get by with fewer than 100,000 this year.

You probably agree that President Trump is an optimist. He would like the parts of the country with few cases to go back to work next week. A previous president, Franklin Roosevelt was also an optimist. When President Roosevelt was inaugurated in March 1933, the country had gone through more than 3 years of ‘Don’t rock the boat.’ Will Rogers described the attitude of the country on his first day in office, “Just so he does something. If he burned down the Capitol we would cheer and say, ‘Well, we at least got a fire started anyhow.’”

Did you hear that President Trump considered a regular radio talk show from the White House? He probably got the idea from President Roosevelt’s Fireside Chats. FDR had 30 radio broadcasts over 12 years. Trump would burn through 30 in the first month.

Historic quote by Will Rogers:

“Mr. Roosevelt stepped to the microphone last night and knocked another home run [his first so-called Fireside Chat]. His message was not only a great comfort to the people, but it pointed a lesson to all radio announcers and public speakers what to do with a big vocabulary: leave it at home in the dictionary.” DT #2061, March 13, 1933

Easter Sunday was unlike any in recent memory. In many churches it kinda resembled the first one: only two people there. Today it was the preacher and the person running the camera.

This coronavirus from China has crowded everything else off television except an occasional tornado. The number of cases seems to be leveling off, at least in New York. The U.S. has had over 500,000 cases and 20,000 deaths attributed to COVID-19. Still have a ways to go. Could be a few weeks. Or a few months.

Governor Cuomo of New York pleaded for 30,000 additional beds and ventilators from the federal government. President Trump raised doubts, but still sent a Navy hospital ship and had the Army fill a convention center with beds. So far, only a handful of those 2000 extra beds have been filled. The demand for ventilators has dropped. Folks found out that three-fourths of patients put on ventilators died, so they backed off, “I think I’ll take my chances with that hydroxychloroquine instead.”

Already in Washington the blame game has started. Speaker Pelosi and other Democrats are demanding, “When did Trump know, and why didn’t he do anything about it?”

I have an additional question, “When did the Chair of the House Intel Committee know about the virus in China, and why didn’t he sound an alarm?”

The head of the World Health Organization (WHO) is the one who should have sounded the alarm. But he lied to protect the Chinese Communist rulers; he only closed the barn door after the horse escaped. The Chinese government lied, murdered any doctor who tried to expose the lies, and probably buried ten times as many victims as they report to WHO (could be over 20 million).

The top folks at WHO need to be fired. We can probably do that with help from a few other countries. The top Communists in China need to be fired, too. But that’s up to the Chinese people, and if you want to know how hard it is to replace a Communist ask the people in Hong Kong.

Historic quote by Will Rogers:
          “There is quite a big communistic hold in certain parts of China. The influence is growing rapidly.” WA #520, Dec. 11, 1932

Two weeks ago I covered the reaction of President Hoover after the stock market crash in October 1929.

Today it’s President Roosevelt’s turn. Remember, he had three years to come up with a plan. And, kinda like Trump listening to Shawn Hannity, FDR listened to Will Rogers.

(Selected quotes. The last one could be written today.)

Historic quotes by Will Rogers: (from Daily Telegrams, March 5 to May 5, 1933

“America hasn’t been as happy in three years as they are today.” Mar. 5

“Say this Roosevelt is a fast worker… (He) closed all the banks and called Congress into extra session.” [banks reopened 4 days later] Mar. 6

“For three years we have had nothing but ‘America is fundamentally sound.’ It should have been ‘America is fundamentally cuckoo.’ The worse off we get the louder we laugh, which is a great thing.” Mar. 8

“Mr. Roosevelt stepped to the microphone last night and knocked another home run [his first ‘fireside chat’]. His message was not only a great comfort to the people, but it pointed a lesson to all radio announcers and public speakers what to do with a big vocabulary: leave it at home in the dictionary. Some people spend a lifetime juggling with words, with not an idea in a carload. Our President took such a dry subject as banking (and) he made everybody understand it, even the bankers.” Mar. 13

“I tell you things never was looking better. And Congress! I want to go on record as giving those rascals a world of credit. They have reformed and they look like they are sorry for what they have done for years.” Mar. 17

“The House passed the farm relief bill and now are starting on an unemployment relief bill. Well, the farm relief bill relieves the unemployed; it gives everybody that isn’t working a job to watch the farmer.” Mar. 23

“Papers all state Hitler is trying to copy Mussolini. Looks to me like it’s the Ku Klux that he is copying.” Mar. 27

“Beer is supposed to be coming.” Mar. 29

“Glad to see that reforestation and employment bill pass.” [Created the Civilian Conservation Corps (CCC)] Mar. 30

(Concerning beer and Prohibition) “I have always claimed America didn’t want a drink as bad as they wanted the right to take a drink if they did happen to want one.” Apr. 7

“Some sort of hand clapping is due the Republican Newspapers for their generous support of the administration, for nothing is as bull-headed as a party newspaper, be it Republican or Democratic.” Apr. 11

“Since the bankers have finally seen the errors of their ways and started banking instead of gambling, there just ain’t much left a poor writer to pick on.” Apr. 16

“Every day just shows us what a lucky country we are [with Freedom of the Press]. Here you can write whatever you want to. The only trouble is getting somebody that will read it.” Apr. 17

“They say we are off the gold [Standard]. The best way to tell when each one of us went off the gold is to figure back how many years it was since we had any. Well, that’s when we went off.” Apr. 20

“This (Secretary of) Labor (Frances) Perkins looks like she is not only going to do something for labor, but is going to be a real contribution to women in politics. She has put common sense ahead of lip rouge and the petticoat.” Apr. 26

“Big U. S. Chamber of Commerce dinner in Washington was fine. The humorous part of it was that all the big manufacturers and producers in there had been all their lives hollering ‘Keep the government out of business.’  There is not a business that the government hasn’t been asked to join. Nothing makes a man broad-minded like adversity.” May 5

Looks like it will be April Fools Month. By May, a lot more of us will look like old hippies. April has 30 days, but it will feel like 90.

Did you ever eat a ramp dinner? In Oklahoma the Cherokees call them wild onion dinners. Well, in the spring you go out in the woods and dig up a batch and invite maybe a thousand people to a big dinner affair. Serve ‘em with bacon, corn bread, ham, dried beans, fried potatoes and whatever the cooks decide to add. Ramps taste like mild onions, but the, uh, after-dinner aroma emanating with every breath can be devastating to friend and foe alike.

Ramps can provide a valuable service this spring. If you suspect you have symptoms of the coronavirus, eat a hearty meal of ramps. No, they won’t cure you. But for a few days you’ll be guaranteed social distancing.  Nobody will come within six feet of you.

Do you remember when Japan attacked Pearl Harbor in 1941?  By 1943 America was designing and manufacturing ten to twenty times as much military hardware as any Washington politician in 1940 could have imagined. Engineers and scientists and private enterprise did that. Today, you are seeing a similar explosion of ingenuity in the battle against coronavirus (which no politician could imagine). Need more Ventilators? Ford and GM are cooperating with smaller designers to ramp up production. Running out of fresh N95 masks? Battelle created equipment to sanitize and reuse old masks; each mobile, self-contained machine can clean 80,000 a day. Remember when there were not enough test kits and it took days to know if you had the virus? Abbott Labs developed a test that gives results in less than 5 minutes. And they will produce 50,000 a day. This is only a sample of all the companies joining in this battle. If we can all stay put (except for medical folks, first responders and other essential workers), pretend to be a soccer player (don’t touch anything with your hands), and wash ‘em if you do, then we can get through this with maybe 100,000 deaths instead of a million.

Farmers are continuing to farm. They hope to spend a good part of April in a tractor seat, planting crops. As in many calamities, prices at the farm gate are suffering. Worried consumers cleared out the meat cases, but the price of cattle dropped. Corn and soybeans this fall will likely sell for $50 less per acre than farmers expected when they ordered seed in January.

A former Senator died this weekend. I never met him, but let me tell a funny related story. About ten years ago I landed at the Tulsa Airport. As usual I was dressed as Will Rogers, wearing a blue suit with a small Stetson hat, and on my right shoulder carrying saddlebags with a lasso hooked to ‘em. As I entered the non-restricted area, I noticed a boy, about 12, apparently waiting with his mom for his dad. Now, it’s not unusual in Oklahoma for people to recognize me. They know I’m not really Will Rogers, but we often enjoy a brief conversation. This boy kept gazing at me, astonished, open mouthed. As I got close I smiled at his mom, then asked him, “Do you know who I am?” He gasped, “Are you Senator Coburn?”

Well, the real Tom Coburn, a family doctor in Muskogee, died at age 72 after battling prostate cancer. As a Senator, 2004 to 2016, he had battled wasteful spending and was successful in getting several changes in Congressional appropriations.

Historic quote by Will Rogers:

“Steak on the plate went up. Steak on the hoof went down.” WA #118, March 15, 1925