206 Nov 18, 2001

CLEVELAND: I’ve been out wandering around the countryside the last week or so, and today I ended up here on the shores of Lake Erie. The sun is shining and it’s mighty warm for November.

Everyone is smiling, not because of the sunshine, but because the Cleveland Browns beat the Ravens in Baltimore. It was their second win this season over Art Modell’s Super Bowl champs.

The entire month has been nothing but sunshine and warm weather in this part of the Midwest. Folks hardly know how to act without the usual clouds and cold rains. This November sunshine is quite a blow. Many football fans wore shorts to the college games yesterday and missed the opening kickoff applying sunscreen.

Farm meetings have kept me on the move recently. I’ve been hitting the small towns: Edon, Elliston and West Alexandria in Ohio, and Flatwoods in West Virginia. You know, farmers are never thrilled about getting dressed up to go to a meeting, especially if there’s still grain to be harvested. But if they’ve got to, they prefer going where they’ll get a good meal in a friendly setting, and where there’s no stop lights, one way streets, or parking meters. The local school gymnasium or church rec hall or country inn suits ’em fine… anywhere that’ll seat five or six hundred. When you add some patriotic songs by a school choir and door prizes from local businesses, the jokes by an out-of-town speaker are generally well received. It sure helps when the election is past, and the political speeches are limited to “Thanks for your support.”

In Afganistan, this war is moving so fast Secretary of State Colin Powell is getting concerned. After the Taliban is run off, he doesn’t want to trade one minority rule for a different minority rule. Well, I got a suggestion for him, turn the whole country over to the women. They make up at least half the population, maybe more since the men been killing each other off for hundreds of years.

Now I would never make a such a serious suggestion to our diplomats without running it by a few people first. So I mentioned it in my talk to the men and women at Elliston, and I can assure Gen. Powell that it received wholehearted and rousing support, from half of them.

P.S. In case some of you football fans were wondering… it is true, I never met Art Modell. I never met Steve Spurrier either. Both of these men have been successful in football, so I doubt I would have much to lose by accepting an invitation from either of them.

Historic quotes by Will Rogers:

“Farmers spend more time at Conventions than they do plowing.”
“(President Coolidge) says, “There is lots of people worse off than the Farmers.” I don’t know how anybody could be worse off than the farmer, unless it’s the fellow who holds the Mortgages on the Farms.”
 WA #158, Dec. 20, 1925

Weekly Comments #205 November 12, 2001

COLUMBUS: Yesterday was Veteran’s Day. The parades and programs had more meaning than usual. I heard one fellow say, this year we’re all veterans. I wouldn’t go that far, but we certainly feel closer to those that are.

In Oklahoma, the Legislature has ruffled a few feathers. They have proposed to pay chicken farmers in eastern Oklahoma $5/ ton to haul their poultry manure to western Oklahoma. Folks in the western part of the state appear to be experiencing a severe shortage of this organic fertilizer, so they are in a receptive mood, although what they really need is more rain. And considering the low price they are receiving for breast meat and legs and eggs, the chicken ranchers in the east can always use an extra five dollars.

But the big yell is going to come from the folks living in central Oklahoma. You just wait till next summer when it’s a hundred degrees and truck caravans loaded with this compost are passing by their front porch, heading west. The fumes will cut short more afternoon picnics than the heat.

I think a better idea might be, instead of hauling the manure, to haul the chickens. Then you only have to make one trip.

If it’s manure the Legislature wants hauled, maybe they should offer the farmers $10/ton, providing they truck it the other direction, to Missouri. Of course Missouri may not want it. They may say, we’ve already got more than we can handle from Arkansas.

The election results are in. John Howard won Australia again. And in the latest recount, Bush won Florida.

Historic quote from Will Rogers (on Armistice Day, now called Veterans Day):

“This day that I am writing this is no doubt the greatest day in all the world history. Armistice Day, when you think that a half dozen men could sit down and casually sign a pact to stop millions of men from killing each other. But if they don’t stop these guys making these speeches over the radio on Armistice Day, why we are liable to have the same war over again, only worse.

If Armistice Day had stopped speeches, it would have done more good than to have stopped war, for speeches is what starts the next war. It’s not armament, it’s oratory that’s wrong with this country.” DT #1028, Nov. 11, 1929

 

204 Nov 4, 2001

CLAREMORE, Okla.: Claremore never looked better. Business is booming, folks are happy, and the suburbs are growing (including Tulsa).

You may remember a year ago I told you about the big parade down Will Rogers Blvd. Well, it was kinda cramped at only 5 lanes wide, so they added 5 more. The expansion is appreciated, not only by the marching bands and float builders, but by all the folks who have bought so many new automobiles at zero interest.

These new car owners figured they had an unbeatable bargain of historical proportions. But it looks like Mr. Greenspan will cut interest rates another half percent, so they are lining up to refinance.

These folks put on a wonderful birthday celebration again this year. After 122 of ’em, they are well practiced. I wrote a young niece in Tampa last week to ask if she was coming to the party. She wrote back, “No, I’m waiting for your 125th birthday.” Well, I kinda wish she had come this year, but I appreciate her confidence and optimism in my endurance.

The whole celebration started off at the ranch at Oologah yesterday morning. It was raining, so they moved everybody inside the barn. And because it rained, the electricity went off. We were in the dark, except for one window. Nobody could locate any kerosene lanterns.

No one complained because they needed rain more than they needed electricity (or even another birthday celebration). The Oologah school children sang for us. One little girl sang “America The Beautiful” in Cherokee, and, Lord, it never sounded better.

The grand marshal of the parade this afternoon was the talented actor, James Whitmore. He’s starred in so many good movies he has his own section at Blockbuster. And you can see him on television selling that Miracle Gro fertilizer. (In case you had not heard, he has ‘retired’ from doing his renowned one-man show portraying a gum-chewing Oklahoma cowboy humorist.) Toward the back, I just walked along greeting folks sitting on the curbs. The parade is about two miles long, but going back and forth across those 10 lanes, I felt like I walked a marathon. Sometimes I would hop on the running board of Gene Pyeatt’s Ford. Last year he drove a 1921 Ford, but this year he brought his newer car. A 1925 model.

Did you watch the World Series? One of the most exciting ever. First time it was played in November, and, just think, to have Game 7 on ‘my’ birthday. The Yankees did their best to win it for New York, but those Arizona boys know how to pitch. And hit. If Mayor Giuliani invites them they’ll be honored to fly up from Phoenix to help out the city. Same as the Yankees would if they had won.

P.S.: If you want to improve airport security, the lady who checked me through Tulsa would be a good one to put in charge of the training. She could straighten out O’Hare single-handed by noon, and Boston by supper time.

Historic quotes from Will Rogers:

“This is Claremore, Okla., a town in physique but a city at heart.” DT #272, June 5, 1927

“See where a lot of cities are kicking on their census, blaming the government because they haven’t got more people. Claremore, Okla., come through with a 254 gain. That’s not per cent, that’s people. Folks make towns, not numbers. If Cleveland, Ohio, keeps dropping they will lose their postoffice and county seat.” DT #1184, May 12, 1930

203 Oct 26, 2001

COLUMBUS: The World Series starts tomorrow night, and you’ll get to see it. Rudy’s Yankees rose to the occasion and got in there, so Mr. Murdock has figured he has nothing to lose by showing it on Fox. That new team in Arizona is ready for ’em.

This anthrax bacteria has got some folks worried about opening their U.S. mail. Three people have died, and two of them worked for the Post Office, so just carrying the mail seems twice as dangerous as opening it. I hope they catch the fellows responsible for this anthrax and give ’em a dose of their own mail, without the antidote.

Meanwhile, stop worrying about anthrax. Just shove it out of your mind. If you can avoid opening mail while crossing a busy street, or while driving on the highway, or while blow drying your hair in the hot tub, you’re more likely to die of stress brought on by the worrying.

Farmers in our middle west are moving right along with harvesting soybeans and corn. I hear from Iowa that crop yields are surprisingly good, but the price is so low it’s hardly worth hauling to town. Now you might be wondering, if this grain don’t get to town, how are the rest of us going to eat? Are they going to let us starve?

See, now that might be something to worry about. Except for one thing. Farmers never let disgustingly worthless prices stop delivery of the goods in the past, so they won’t start now. The government payments will help the farmers, at least those that get ’em.

In Washington Dr. Bernadine Healy announced she will step down as head of the Red Cross in December. She says after two years it’s time to pull the old needle out of her arm and turn the whole situation over to, well, to some new blood. Off hand I don’t know any doctors ready to take on this huge operation, but I can think of one man imminently qualified. And he’ll be out of work on January 1. That’s Mayor Rudy Giuliani. If he can figure a way to run the Red Cross from a box seat behind third base in Yankee Stadium, he’ll accept.

Next weekend I’ll be back in Claremore and Oologah for a birthday party and a big parade. You may remember last year, I got to ride in Gene Pyeatt’s 1921 Model T Ford truck. And I was looking forward to it again. But Gene told me he drove it over to Eureka Springs, Arkansas, and the crankshaft broke. Well, with old Uncle Henry spending all his time fixing flat Firestone tires and replacing ignition systems, he don’t have time to recall Model T crankshafts. Gene told me he can probably come up with another vehicle. If not, maybe I can get a loaner saddle horse.

Historic quotes from Will Rogers:
“My idea of the height of conceit would be a political speaker that would go on the air when that World Series is on.” DT #683, Oct.3, 1928

“(The Yankees) offered Babe Ruth the same salary that (President) Hoover gets. Babe claims he should have more. He can’t appoint a commission to go up and knock the home runs. He has to do it all himself.” DT # 1078, Jan. 8, 1930

202 Oct 19, 2001

WAVERLY, Ohio: Anthrax is scaring folks in New York and Washington and Florida. Ten or so have got sick. One died, but the others are fine. Thousands across the country are afraid to get on an airplane. Automobile accidents have claimed a thousand, but nobody has parked their car. Anthrax got the House of Representatives so worried they are all went home till Tuesday. It’s been said that this sets a bad example, but it’s mainly the lobbyists doing the complaining. When you get 435 Congressmen all scattered in 435 different places around the country, it’s hard to twist arms of more than two or three a day. Not only does it knock the lobbyist out power, if Congress ain’t meeting, they can’t add on any new taxes.

Speaking of taxes, Ohio’s governor says they’re not collecting enough, so Ohio has got to cut back. To save money he says he will close three prisons. It was a difficult decision, whether to close three prisons or three universities.

See, if you shut down a university, you got to deal with alumni and football boosters, not to mention parents who don’t want their son or daughter released before their four years is served to completion. Then in the next election, they all vote against you.When you close a prison, you know the inmates will be in favor of it. The guards can walk out of the prison and right into higher paying airport security posts. The taxpayers like it because a prisoner costs more than a college student. If this idea works, he may close another three next year.

Down here in Waverly, they don’t have a prison or a university, or even a junior college. But they’ve got trees and timber and saw mills. And they have a factory called Mill’s Pride. It’s so big it uses half the white oak in three states to make kitchen cabinets and put-it-together-yourself furniture. That’s a good name for it, Mill’s Pride, because the workers take Pride in their products. Next time you’re in a Home Depot, you may not see their name, but you can’t miss their products.

The President said it’s our civic duty to shop and spend, to keep the economy growing. Alan Greenspan says he doesn’t think it will work, but there’s a hundred million women willing to make the sacrifice and prove him wrong. (And a few men, too.) Columbus has opened two new malls to
accommodate their patriotism. After you half empty your bank account at Saks and Sears and Marshall Fields (even though your closets are full), on the way home you can buy one of those oak storage cabinets.

Historical quotes from Will Rogers:
“The Ohio convicts are serving pretty tough sentences. First they burn ’em up, now they shoot ’em while they sleep. About the only calamity left to ’em outside of somebody poisoning their well, will be the Ohio Legislature will investigate them.” DT #1182, May 9, 1930

(In Holland) “Forests are the most beautiful forests, all out in rows. Every time they cut down a tree it looks like they planted two in its place. Every time we cut one down, the fellow that cuts it down sets down to have a smoke and celebrate. He throws his cigarette away and burns up the rest of the forest.” (From Will’s book, “There’s Not a Bathing Suit in Russia”)

201 Oct 12, 2001

COLUMBUS: Today the United Nations won the Nobel Peace Prize. I wonder why they don’t get it every year. They’re about the only outfit on Earth whose sole business is Peace. But lately they’ve been missing out on the big prize.

I think what put ’em over the top this year was when they put Syria on the Security Council. That’s so they can keep a close eye on ’em. Next year they’ll shoot for two in a row by bringing in Afghanistan. Or maybe Iraq. Baseball season is over and the playoffs have started. I heard a rumor that the games were on television, but I ain’t seen any except for the Giuliani Yankees. Brother, if you want to see the World Series on Fox we’re gonna have to pull for the Yankees. If it’s Oakland against Arizona, Mr.
Murdoch may just show it on the Home and Garden channel. And only on the West coast.
This is Columbus Day, or it used to be till Congress decided all holidays should fall on Monday, and not on Friday. It shouldn’t matter to Congress, they usually get both days off anyhow. I bet if Columbus had known we wanted to celebrate it on October 8 he would have found a tail wind and shortened the trip. He could have stopped at Bermuda, but he never learned to ride a bicycle.

The Emmy Awards have had a run of tough luck. They got postponed twice. The actors still want to hold the show, but they don’t want any risk. It’s humiliating enough to not win, but nobody wants to die on screen, unless it’s make believe.

They’re looking for a secure location to hold it. Instead of living in fear of bin Ladin, maybe they can learn something from him. Give out all the awards in Kentucky, down in Mammoth Cave. We can’t blame ’em for being safety conscious. Some of them are young, and have their whole lives before ’em. Why, some are still in their first marriage.

Rush Limbaugh is losing his hearing. There’ll be no jokes (although I can think of a couple) because that is a serious loss for any man. Paul Harvey got his voice back, but things don’t look so rosy for Rush. He has a great sense of humor… some folks get it, but some don’t. They think he’s serious
when, part of the time, he’s pulling your leg. Like when he said, “I’m gonna keep talking till everybody in America agrees with me.” If we thought he meant it, 250 million people in unison, (kinda like all those school children saying the Pledge of Allegiance at 2:00 Eastern Time today) would shout, “I agree,” just to see if he would stop. Rush, I’m sorry, that one just slipped out. We’re pulling for you.

Historical quotes from Will Rogers:

“The Columbus Celebration has rather an added significance to Los Angeles, as they want to celebrate the good fortune of his landing on the Atlantic instead of the Pacific side, because if he landed out here he never would have gone back even to tell the Queen. He would have stayed right here and nobody would have ever known it but him.” WA #29 July 1, 1923″…we were out there on Indian land dedicating a Dam to get water for white people to come out and use and gradually take more Indian land away. There is going to be nothing different. It started with Lief Erricson in 996, then skipped over Columbus in 1492, for he couldent find this Country in four trips. Then come the Spanish settlers, then the Mayflower was the last straw.”
WA #377 March 16, 1930

200 Oct 3, 2001

LAFAYETTE, Ind.: Out here in Purdue country the crops never looked better. Farmers are harvesting soybeans and corn around the clock while the weather holds. It’s 80 degrees by day, and a full moon by night.

They’ll take Saturday afternoon off to watch the Boilermakers win another football game. In Indiana that’s about the only college team that remembers how to play. Up the road at South Bend, some folks are praying for the resurrection of Knute Rockne.

There’s some fine young people here this week, 4-H members from several states competing to take home the blue ribbons in engineering projects. Their parents, their home towns, and their home states can be proud of every one of them, even if they didn’t win, because they’re good upstanding citizens.

I told them a few political jokes and anecdotes last evening. The one about me and Strom Thurmond being born the same year got a laugh. So did this line: “I’m not a member of any organized political party… I’m a Democrat.” See, it’ll take a whole lot more than a terrorist attack to keep us from laughing at politics.

Our sense of humor can’t be knocked down by any bombs or missiles. Neither can our patriotism, determination, and our faith in God.

I got to meet one special 4-H contestant from eastern Ohio named Matt. His high school sits on a hill and there’s a grass field in front that slopes down to the road. About two weeks ago, Matt and some other students, and a couple of teachers decided the school needed a bigger flag. It took a few days, some detailed planning, and a lot of work but, brother, they got one. It measures 150 feet by 90 feet.

It’s not fluttering in the wind, it’s painted on the ground, on that grassy slope where all who drive by honk their horns, or stop, get out and salute.

If you’re in the mood for a drive, it’s along I-70, at Exit 208. The leaves are turning, and gasoline is down to $1.20, so the whole trip will be a pleasure.

Historical quotes from Will Rogers:

“LAFAYETTE, Ind.: Indiana is noted for its great crop of humorists: George Ade, Kin Hubbard and a flock of others. Indianians, jealous of these men’s reputations, used to say, “We have people in Indiana besides humorists.” And sure enough they did have, but they were all in jail but the humorists. So why don’t they elect some of them?”
DT #527, April 4, 1928

199 Sep 27, 2001

COLUMBUS: Folks are getting back to work, back to watching baseball and football, back to normal on about everything but airplane travel and spending money. They may not be spending money, but they sure are donating it. Over $500 million has already been contributed. Now about those airplanes, there’s no safer way of going any great distance. I’ll be flying to Oklahoma in November for a couple of days at Claremore. Shucks, if I couldn’t fly, I may as well just walk. Today our President asked us to support the airlines and get on with our vacations and business meetings. Back in 1933, or maybe it was ’34, our First Lady, Mrs. Roosevelt, flew commercial from Washington to Los Angeles. That was the first time it had ever been done by a President or his wife, and it did more to build confidence in air travel than all the flying done previously by Lindbergh, Mitchell and Rogers combined. Perhaps Laura Bush can arrange to fly to California and have the same effect as Eleanor. If she can’t get away, I bet you Barbara Bush would do it. Even if you’re a bit scared, climbing back on an airplane is just like riding a bike or a horse. Once you get used to it, you never forget the thrill and excitement.

Once you’ve been to New York, you never forget the excitement of that either. Naturally we’ll always remember September 11 and the seven thousand killed and thousands injured there and in Washington and Pennsylvania. Mayor Giuliani is inviting all of us to visit New York, to go to a Broadway play, visit a museum, watch a baseball game, shop. He’s doing a wonderful job leading his city through the crisis. We’re all pulling for him, and we’re willing to do everything we can to help. We’ll go, we’ll visit, and we’ll spend. We just have one request of the mayor. Please don’t ask us to cheer for the Yankees.

(If that little attempt at humor offends you, I apologize. It’s only been two weeks, and you may need more time. If so, come back and read this in November and laugh then. It will be funnier after the Yankees have won the World Series.)

Everybody is supporting President Bush, saying he has been quite, well, downright Presidential. Ninety percent say they approve of the way he is handling the situation, along with Mr. Cheney and Powell, Rumsfield and Ashcroft.

Democrats and Republicans in Washington are all pulling together. Of course it’s easy for ’em to all agree when they are spending money. When they have to figure out where the money is coming from, that’s when they’re likely to separate.

Defeating this Evil is the important task at hand. Taking care of Bin Laden and the Taliban won’t be easy, but it may not take as long as people fear. Bob Hope says he’s ready to entertain the troops at Christmas. Have you noticed, nobody has said a word lately against Prayer in schools.

Historic quotes from Will Rogers:
“Well, they finally stopped us from sending Marines to every war we could hear of. They are having one in Afghanistan. The thing will be over before Congress can pronounce it, much less find out where it is located. It seems the King over there thought he was adopting modern ideas by limiting his subjects to one wife per each. No wonder they threw him out. He was just old-fashioned and didn’t know it.”
DT #748, Dec. 19, 1928.

“If your time is worth anything, travel by air. If not, you might just as well walk.”
DT #389, Oct. 20, 1927.

“If there is a safer mode of transportation (than airplanes) I have never found it. Even horseback. I got bucked off the other day.”
DT #1018, Oct. 30, 1929.

#198 Sep 19, 2001

LONDON, Ohio: There’s a big farm show going on here this week. They hold it every year. They have more American flags flying than usual. Planes are flying too. You notice them more than you used to.

You hardly hear a conversation without talk of where were you last Tuesday. But when the topic turns to farming, the enthusiasm is as high as ever.

Did you know the land area in New York that was occupied by the World Trade Center was 16 acres? In a city 16 acres is a lot of ground. On most farms 16 acres is a small field. I ain’t asked ’em, but I bet you there isn’t a single farmer in North America that wouldn’t gladly give up 16 acres if he could rewrite history and have back those tall buildings intact. They would all say Yes!!.

If some farm organization, or maybe all of them, would start a campaign asking farmers to donate the profits from 16 acres to the relief effort, you would be amazed at the number that would do it. Not everyone could do it – some don’t have 16 acres, some don’t have any profits. But others do, and would gladly share their wealth. The ones that didn’t make anything this year would say, “Let me work on it next year, and with the Lord’s help we can contribute then.”

Now it all don’t have to go to this one relief effort. We can’t forget our local charities. Folks are mighty generous for a good and worthy cause. We’ll find out a united America can reach deeper than anyone imagined.

This fight we’re in is against Evil. It’s not just one man, or his army of 3000 radical followers. And certainly not against one country.

I read in the paper where some Islamic clerics are meeting to decide if it’s a sin to murder women and children, and commit suicide. The outcome appears to be in doubt. Now I ain’t one to interfere in a religious debate. But based on what I’ve picked up from the radio, and from conversations with folks I know personally in that denomination, at least 99.999 percent of the followers of that particular faith know the difference between right and wrong.

It’s pretty clear that these terrorists, including the Taliban, are no more Islamic than Hitler was a Christian. And any cleric that needs more than ten seconds to decide where he stands, well, he ain’t Islamic either.

They had a fine luncheon yesterday at the farm show. The Governor was there, and Senator Voinivich and Congressman Boehner. Normally I would tell you more about it, but I just got room for Mr. Boehner’s closing comment. He said, while you’re offering up prayers for the innocent victims and their families and the police and firemen, remember to say a special prayer for President Bush.

Historic quotes from Will Rogers:

“Mr. Coolidge said in the next war we would draft wealth as well as men. Now everybody is arguing if it’s practical. Why not postpone having the next war till the cause for it is so popular that you won’t have to conscript either of them? If you will wait till we are invaded and everybody knows what they are fighting for, you won’t need conscription.

Yours from Kansas, the comedy relief of the United States, Will Rogers.” DT#86 Nov. 17, 1926.

197 Sep 11, 2001

COLUMBUS: This is not a time for comedy. Civilization was attacked today.

The targets were in New York and Washington, but we ALL got hit. Yes sir, not just Americans, but everybody around the world who believes in freedom and democracy and fair play.

I was not going to write a Weekly Comments tonight. But then I thought, maybe a few of you would like to know how Will Rogers reacted to tragedies and disasters. Although nothing as instantly catastrophic as today’s horror occurred between 1879 and 1935, there were a number of disasters that he wrote about. (See Historical Quotes for some samples)

First, I will do something I can’t recall ever doing before in any of these Weekly Comments. That is to include one of my own ‘historic quotes’. Here is part of what I wrote in Weekly Comments #47 on August 20, 1998: “News is happening so fast it’s hard to believe it’s August…. We had bombs explode in Kenya and Tanzania and Ireland, Monica and Bill took shots at each other, and just today we sent missiles cruisin’ after some terrorists in Afghanistan and Sudan. You might not have heard of this Saudi Arabian billionaire named ‘Bin Ladin’, but you’re likely to hear plenty from him now. He’s got more money than many countries, and a bigger army than at least half of ‘em.”

Historical Quotes from Will Rogers:

“Well, all I know is just what I read in the papers. This sea tragedy [sinking of British luxury liner, The Vistrus] has just been about all we could see for the last 10 days, and it was awful hard to get your mind off it. Talk about stage plays and dramas, don’t they fade into nothing when a thing like this comes along! And the great part about it is nobody knows where, or who will bob up in the way of a hero.” WA #309, Nov. 25, 1928

“You read about the disaster in St. Louis and what the Red Cross did. No matter what happens, or where it goes to happen, they are the first there. That’s why everybody in America should belong to it.” DT #372, Sept. 30, 1927.

“I know you all read of the terrible movie theater disaster in Ireland yesterday. Well, I am going to Dublin on Wednesday to give a benefit for them. Cable over what you can, either to me at the Hotel Shelbourne or to President Cosgrave. It’s a real cause. Thanks.” DT #35, Sept. 6, 1926 (from London)

“Here is a suggestion that will help you all out of a lot of anxiety and anguish in case your town or district should be hit by some disaster. Run quick and turn off the radio…

So, in case of disaster, run (don’t walk) to the nearest radio and turn it off, for they take delight in killing you, whether you have been killed or not.” DT #2069, March 22, 1933.

“No nation ever had two better friends than we have. You know who they are? Well they are the Atlantic and Pacific ocean. There is a couple of boys that will stand by you. And you can always depend on ’em, three thousand miles wide and a mile deep.” WA 537, April 9, 1933 (their value dropped a bit on Sept. 11, 2001)