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COLUMBUS: The World Series starts tomorrow night, and you’ll get to see it. Rudy’s Yankees rose to the occasion and got in there, so Mr. Murdock has figured he has nothing to lose by showing it on Fox. That new team in Arizona is ready for ’em.

This anthrax bacteria has got some folks worried about opening their U.S. mail. Three people have died, and two of them worked for the Post Office, so just carrying the mail seems twice as dangerous as opening it. I hope they catch the fellows responsible for this anthrax and give ’em a dose of their own mail, without the antidote.

Meanwhile, stop worrying about anthrax. Just shove it out of your mind. If you can avoid opening mail while crossing a busy street, or while driving on the highway, or while blow drying your hair in the hot tub, you’re more likely to die of stress brought on by the worrying.

Farmers in our middle west are moving right along with harvesting soybeans and corn. I hear from Iowa that crop yields are surprisingly good, but the price is so low it’s hardly worth hauling to town. Now you might be wondering, if this grain don’t get to town, how are the rest of us going to eat? Are they going to let us starve?

See, now that might be something to worry about. Except for one thing. Farmers never let disgustingly worthless prices stop delivery of the goods in the past, so they won’t start now. The government payments will help the farmers, at least those that get ’em.

In Washington Dr. Bernadine Healy announced she will step down as head of the Red Cross in December. She says after two years it’s time to pull the old needle out of her arm and turn the whole situation over to, well, to some new blood. Off hand I don’t know any doctors ready to take on this huge operation, but I can think of one man imminently qualified. And he’ll be out of work on January 1. That’s Mayor Rudy Giuliani. If he can figure a way to run the Red Cross from a box seat behind third base in Yankee Stadium, he’ll accept.

Next weekend I’ll be back in Claremore and Oologah for a birthday party and a big parade. You may remember last year, I got to ride in Gene Pyeatt’s 1921 Model T Ford truck. And I was looking forward to it again. But Gene told me he drove it over to Eureka Springs, Arkansas, and the crankshaft broke. Well, with old Uncle Henry spending all his time fixing flat Firestone tires and replacing ignition systems, he don’t have time to recall Model T crankshafts. Gene told me he can probably come up with another vehicle. If not, maybe I can get a loaner saddle horse.

Historic quotes from Will Rogers:
“My idea of the height of conceit would be a political speaker that would go on the air when that World Series is on.” DT #683, Oct.3, 1928

“(The Yankees) offered Babe Ruth the same salary that (President) Hoover gets. Babe claims he should have more. He can’t appoint a commission to go up and knock the home runs. He has to do it all himself.” DT # 1078, Jan. 8, 1930

WAVERLY, Ohio: Anthrax is scaring folks in New York and Washington and Florida. Ten or so have got sick. One died, but the others are fine. Thousands across the country are afraid to get on an airplane. Automobile accidents have claimed a thousand, but nobody has parked their car. Anthrax got the House of Representatives so worried they are all went home till Tuesday. It’s been said that this sets a bad example, but it’s mainly the lobbyists doing the complaining. When you get 435 Congressmen all scattered in 435 different places around the country, it’s hard to twist arms of more than two or three a day. Not only does it knock the lobbyist out power, if Congress ain’t meeting, they can’t add on any new taxes.

Speaking of taxes, Ohio’s governor says they’re not collecting enough, so Ohio has got to cut back. To save money he says he will close three prisons. It was a difficult decision, whether to close three prisons or three universities.

See, if you shut down a university, you got to deal with alumni and football boosters, not to mention parents who don’t want their son or daughter released before their four years is served to completion. Then in the next election, they all vote against you.When you close a prison, you know the inmates will be in favor of it. The guards can walk out of the prison and right into higher paying airport security posts. The taxpayers like it because a prisoner costs more than a college student. If this idea works, he may close another three next year.

Down here in Waverly, they don’t have a prison or a university, or even a junior college. But they’ve got trees and timber and saw mills. And they have a factory called Mill’s Pride. It’s so big it uses half the white oak in three states to make kitchen cabinets and put-it-together-yourself furniture. That’s a good name for it, Mill’s Pride, because the workers take Pride in their products. Next time you’re in a Home Depot, you may not see their name, but you can’t miss their products.

The President said it’s our civic duty to shop and spend, to keep the economy growing. Alan Greenspan says he doesn’t think it will work, but there’s a hundred million women willing to make the sacrifice and prove him wrong. (And a few men, too.) Columbus has opened two new malls to
accommodate their patriotism. After you half empty your bank account at Saks and Sears and Marshall Fields (even though your closets are full), on the way home you can buy one of those oak storage cabinets.

Historical quotes from Will Rogers:
“The Ohio convicts are serving pretty tough sentences. First they burn ’em up, now they shoot ’em while they sleep. About the only calamity left to ’em outside of somebody poisoning their well, will be the Ohio Legislature will investigate them.” DT #1182, May 9, 1930

(In Holland) “Forests are the most beautiful forests, all out in rows. Every time they cut down a tree it looks like they planted two in its place. Every time we cut one down, the fellow that cuts it down sets down to have a smoke and celebrate. He throws his cigarette away and burns up the rest of the forest.” (From Will’s book, “There’s Not a Bathing Suit in Russia”)

COLUMBUS: Today the United Nations won the Nobel Peace Prize. I wonder why they don’t get it every year. They’re about the only outfit on Earth whose sole business is Peace. But lately they’ve been missing out on the big prize.

I think what put ’em over the top this year was when they put Syria on the Security Council. That’s so they can keep a close eye on ’em. Next year they’ll shoot for two in a row by bringing in Afghanistan. Or maybe Iraq. Baseball season is over and the playoffs have started. I heard a rumor that the games were on television, but I ain’t seen any except for the Giuliani Yankees. Brother, if you want to see the World Series on Fox we’re gonna have to pull for the Yankees. If it’s Oakland against Arizona, Mr.
Murdoch may just show it on the Home and Garden channel. And only on the West coast.
This is Columbus Day, or it used to be till Congress decided all holidays should fall on Monday, and not on Friday. It shouldn’t matter to Congress, they usually get both days off anyhow. I bet if Columbus had known we wanted to celebrate it on October 8 he would have found a tail wind and shortened the trip. He could have stopped at Bermuda, but he never learned to ride a bicycle.

The Emmy Awards have had a run of tough luck. They got postponed twice. The actors still want to hold the show, but they don’t want any risk. It’s humiliating enough to not win, but nobody wants to die on screen, unless it’s make believe.

They’re looking for a secure location to hold it. Instead of living in fear of bin Ladin, maybe they can learn something from him. Give out all the awards in Kentucky, down in Mammoth Cave. We can’t blame ’em for being safety conscious. Some of them are young, and have their whole lives before ’em. Why, some are still in their first marriage.

Rush Limbaugh is losing his hearing. There’ll be no jokes (although I can think of a couple) because that is a serious loss for any man. Paul Harvey got his voice back, but things don’t look so rosy for Rush. He has a great sense of humor… some folks get it, but some don’t. They think he’s serious
when, part of the time, he’s pulling your leg. Like when he said, “I’m gonna keep talking till everybody in America agrees with me.” If we thought he meant it, 250 million people in unison, (kinda like all those school children saying the Pledge of Allegiance at 2:00 Eastern Time today) would shout, “I agree,” just to see if he would stop. Rush, I’m sorry, that one just slipped out. We’re pulling for you.

Historical quotes from Will Rogers:

“The Columbus Celebration has rather an added significance to Los Angeles, as they want to celebrate the good fortune of his landing on the Atlantic instead of the Pacific side, because if he landed out here he never would have gone back even to tell the Queen. He would have stayed right here and nobody would have ever known it but him.” WA #29 July 1, 1923″…we were out there on Indian land dedicating a Dam to get water for white people to come out and use and gradually take more Indian land away. There is going to be nothing different. It started with Lief Erricson in 996, then skipped over Columbus in 1492, for he couldent find this Country in four trips. Then come the Spanish settlers, then the Mayflower was the last straw.”
WA #377 March 16, 1930

LAFAYETTE, Ind.: Out here in Purdue country the crops never looked better. Farmers are harvesting soybeans and corn around the clock while the weather holds. It’s 80 degrees by day, and a full moon by night.

They’ll take Saturday afternoon off to watch the Boilermakers win another football game. In Indiana that’s about the only college team that remembers how to play. Up the road at South Bend, some folks are praying for the resurrection of Knute Rockne.

There’s some fine young people here this week, 4-H members from several states competing to take home the blue ribbons in engineering projects. Their parents, their home towns, and their home states can be proud of every one of them, even if they didn’t win, because they’re good upstanding citizens.

I told them a few political jokes and anecdotes last evening. The one about me and Strom Thurmond being born the same year got a laugh. So did this line: “I’m not a member of any organized political party… I’m a Democrat.” See, it’ll take a whole lot more than a terrorist attack to keep us from laughing at politics.

Our sense of humor can’t be knocked down by any bombs or missiles. Neither can our patriotism, determination, and our faith in God.

I got to meet one special 4-H contestant from eastern Ohio named Matt. His high school sits on a hill and there’s a grass field in front that slopes down to the road. About two weeks ago, Matt and some other students, and a couple of teachers decided the school needed a bigger flag. It took a few days, some detailed planning, and a lot of work but, brother, they got one. It measures 150 feet by 90 feet.

It’s not fluttering in the wind, it’s painted on the ground, on that grassy slope where all who drive by honk their horns, or stop, get out and salute.

If you’re in the mood for a drive, it’s along I-70, at Exit 208. The leaves are turning, and gasoline is down to $1.20, so the whole trip will be a pleasure.

Historical quotes from Will Rogers:

“LAFAYETTE, Ind.: Indiana is noted for its great crop of humorists: George Ade, Kin Hubbard and a flock of others. Indianians, jealous of these men’s reputations, used to say, “We have people in Indiana besides humorists.” And sure enough they did have, but they were all in jail but the humorists. So why don’t they elect some of them?”
DT #527, April 4, 1928

COLUMBUS: Folks are getting back to work, back to watching baseball and football, back to normal on about everything but airplane travel and spending money. They may not be spending money, but they sure are donating it. Over $500 million has already been contributed. Now about those airplanes, there’s no safer way of going any great distance. I’ll be flying to Oklahoma in November for a couple of days at Claremore. Shucks, if I couldn’t fly, I may as well just walk. Today our President asked us to support the airlines and get on with our vacations and business meetings. Back in 1933, or maybe it was ’34, our First Lady, Mrs. Roosevelt, flew commercial from Washington to Los Angeles. That was the first time it had ever been done by a President or his wife, and it did more to build confidence in air travel than all the flying done previously by Lindbergh, Mitchell and Rogers combined. Perhaps Laura Bush can arrange to fly to California and have the same effect as Eleanor. If she can’t get away, I bet you Barbara Bush would do it. Even if you’re a bit scared, climbing back on an airplane is just like riding a bike or a horse. Once you get used to it, you never forget the thrill and excitement.

Once you’ve been to New York, you never forget the excitement of that either. Naturally we’ll always remember September 11 and the seven thousand killed and thousands injured there and in Washington and Pennsylvania. Mayor Giuliani is inviting all of us to visit New York, to go to a Broadway play, visit a museum, watch a baseball game, shop. He’s doing a wonderful job leading his city through the crisis. We’re all pulling for him, and we’re willing to do everything we can to help. We’ll go, we’ll visit, and we’ll spend. We just have one request of the mayor. Please don’t ask us to cheer for the Yankees.

(If that little attempt at humor offends you, I apologize. It’s only been two weeks, and you may need more time. If so, come back and read this in November and laugh then. It will be funnier after the Yankees have won the World Series.)

Everybody is supporting President Bush, saying he has been quite, well, downright Presidential. Ninety percent say they approve of the way he is handling the situation, along with Mr. Cheney and Powell, Rumsfield and Ashcroft.

Democrats and Republicans in Washington are all pulling together. Of course it’s easy for ’em to all agree when they are spending money. When they have to figure out where the money is coming from, that’s when they’re likely to separate.

Defeating this Evil is the important task at hand. Taking care of Bin Laden and the Taliban won’t be easy, but it may not take as long as people fear. Bob Hope says he’s ready to entertain the troops at Christmas. Have you noticed, nobody has said a word lately against Prayer in schools.

Historic quotes from Will Rogers:
“Well, they finally stopped us from sending Marines to every war we could hear of. They are having one in Afghanistan. The thing will be over before Congress can pronounce it, much less find out where it is located. It seems the King over there thought he was adopting modern ideas by limiting his subjects to one wife per each. No wonder they threw him out. He was just old-fashioned and didn’t know it.”
DT #748, Dec. 19, 1928.

“If your time is worth anything, travel by air. If not, you might just as well walk.”
DT #389, Oct. 20, 1927.

“If there is a safer mode of transportation (than airplanes) I have never found it. Even horseback. I got bucked off the other day.”
DT #1018, Oct. 30, 1929.

LONDON, Ohio: There’s a big farm show going on here this week. They hold it every year. They have more American flags flying than usual. Planes are flying too. You notice them more than you used to.

You hardly hear a conversation without talk of where were you last Tuesday. But when the topic turns to farming, the enthusiasm is as high as ever.

Did you know the land area in New York that was occupied by the World Trade Center was 16 acres? In a city 16 acres is a lot of ground. On most farms 16 acres is a small field. I ain’t asked ’em, but I bet you there isn’t a single farmer in North America that wouldn’t gladly give up 16 acres if he could rewrite history and have back those tall buildings intact. They would all say Yes!!.

If some farm organization, or maybe all of them, would start a campaign asking farmers to donate the profits from 16 acres to the relief effort, you would be amazed at the number that would do it. Not everyone could do it – some don’t have 16 acres, some don’t have any profits. But others do, and would gladly share their wealth. The ones that didn’t make anything this year would say, “Let me work on it next year, and with the Lord’s help we can contribute then.”

Now it all don’t have to go to this one relief effort. We can’t forget our local charities. Folks are mighty generous for a good and worthy cause. We’ll find out a united America can reach deeper than anyone imagined.

This fight we’re in is against Evil. It’s not just one man, or his army of 3000 radical followers. And certainly not against one country.

I read in the paper where some Islamic clerics are meeting to decide if it’s a sin to murder women and children, and commit suicide. The outcome appears to be in doubt. Now I ain’t one to interfere in a religious debate. But based on what I’ve picked up from the radio, and from conversations with folks I know personally in that denomination, at least 99.999 percent of the followers of that particular faith know the difference between right and wrong.

It’s pretty clear that these terrorists, including the Taliban, are no more Islamic than Hitler was a Christian. And any cleric that needs more than ten seconds to decide where he stands, well, he ain’t Islamic either.

They had a fine luncheon yesterday at the farm show. The Governor was there, and Senator Voinivich and Congressman Boehner. Normally I would tell you more about it, but I just got room for Mr. Boehner’s closing comment. He said, while you’re offering up prayers for the innocent victims and their families and the police and firemen, remember to say a special prayer for President Bush.

Historic quotes from Will Rogers:

“Mr. Coolidge said in the next war we would draft wealth as well as men. Now everybody is arguing if it’s practical. Why not postpone having the next war till the cause for it is so popular that you won’t have to conscript either of them? If you will wait till we are invaded and everybody knows what they are fighting for, you won’t need conscription.

Yours from Kansas, the comedy relief of the United States, Will Rogers.” DT#86 Nov. 17, 1926.

COLUMBUS: This is not a time for comedy. Civilization was attacked today.

The targets were in New York and Washington, but we ALL got hit. Yes sir, not just Americans, but everybody around the world who believes in freedom and democracy and fair play.

I was not going to write a Weekly Comments tonight. But then I thought, maybe a few of you would like to know how Will Rogers reacted to tragedies and disasters. Although nothing as instantly catastrophic as today’s horror occurred between 1879 and 1935, there were a number of disasters that he wrote about. (See Historical Quotes for some samples)

First, I will do something I can’t recall ever doing before in any of these Weekly Comments. That is to include one of my own ‘historic quotes’. Here is part of what I wrote in Weekly Comments #47 on August 20, 1998: “News is happening so fast it’s hard to believe it’s August…. We had bombs explode in Kenya and Tanzania and Ireland, Monica and Bill took shots at each other, and just today we sent missiles cruisin’ after some terrorists in Afghanistan and Sudan. You might not have heard of this Saudi Arabian billionaire named ‘Bin Ladin’, but you’re likely to hear plenty from him now. He’s got more money than many countries, and a bigger army than at least half of ‘em.”

Historical Quotes from Will Rogers:

“Well, all I know is just what I read in the papers. This sea tragedy [sinking of British luxury liner, The Vistrus] has just been about all we could see for the last 10 days, and it was awful hard to get your mind off it. Talk about stage plays and dramas, don’t they fade into nothing when a thing like this comes along! And the great part about it is nobody knows where, or who will bob up in the way of a hero.” WA #309, Nov. 25, 1928

“You read about the disaster in St. Louis and what the Red Cross did. No matter what happens, or where it goes to happen, they are the first there. That’s why everybody in America should belong to it.” DT #372, Sept. 30, 1927.

“I know you all read of the terrible movie theater disaster in Ireland yesterday. Well, I am going to Dublin on Wednesday to give a benefit for them. Cable over what you can, either to me at the Hotel Shelbourne or to President Cosgrave. It’s a real cause. Thanks.” DT #35, Sept. 6, 1926 (from London)

“Here is a suggestion that will help you all out of a lot of anxiety and anguish in case your town or district should be hit by some disaster. Run quick and turn off the radio…

So, in case of disaster, run (don’t walk) to the nearest radio and turn it off, for they take delight in killing you, whether you have been killed or not.” DT #2069, March 22, 1933.

“No nation ever had two better friends than we have. You know who they are? Well they are the Atlantic and Pacific ocean. There is a couple of boys that will stand by you. And you can always depend on ’em, three thousand miles wide and a mile deep.” WA 537, April 9, 1933 (their value dropped a bit on Sept. 11, 2001)

JACKSON’S MILL, West Va.: If you’ve never seen one of those old water-powered grist mills operate, here’s the place to come to. This is where the famous Civil War General Stonewall Jackson grew up, and his uncle had a mill on the banks of the West Fork of the Monongahela River. You can watch ’em dump wheat in the top, and as the huge stone turns, it grinds the grain into flour that comes out below. I imagine, if you’ve a mind to, you could haul in a wagon load of corn, and they’ll grind it into meal that you can bag and take home with you just like the local settlers did 175 years ago.

Jackson’s Mill is famous for another historic event. The first camp for 4-H was held here, I believe in 1921, and they still have those youngins camping here every summer, but not the same ones.

This holiday weekend, when America is honoring our hard-working men and women, they are holding a Jubilee here in honor of Stonewall. They got bluegrass and gospel singing, every kind of craft and art work you can imagine, all of it done by hand in great detail. There’s old steam and gasoline engines, marble shootin’ for the kids, and a bunch of traditional American foods from kettle corn to blackberry cobbler to Sasparilla.

My favorite among all the great talent here was a performer named Bum.

His full name is Bum the Wonder Horse. Now I mean no disrespect to anybody, but Bum is without a doubt among the smartest animals ever to walk the planet. He is the Einstein of horsedom. His IQ, if you could measure it, would place him above ninety percent of the folks interviewed on the streets of Los Angeles by Jay Leno, or maybe a hundred percent.

Just a couple of miles upriver in a town called Weston they are still figuring out who they elected as mayor three months ago. They have had ballot arguments here just like down in Palm Beach, only without interference from high-priced lawyers and television . (I bet though, that if Gary Condit had spent every night of his married life at home with his wife, and if one of these mayor candidates had had a rendezvous with a Washington intern, it would’ve been these Weston fellows on Larry King every night last month.)

They aren’t in any big hurry to settle it. They figure if the President of the United States can vacation for a month, then Weston can survive three months without a mayor. The economy here is just as good as it was in May, which is more than you can say for the country.

There have been all kind of suggestions on how to break the deadlock, short of the state Supreme Court, from arm wrestling to checkers to a carp fishing competition in the West Fork.

But I think the best solution is to have the two stand out in a field, and say, “Bum, go to the fellow that you think will make the best mayor.” He’s sure to pick the right one.

Historical quotes from Will Rogers:

“Well, all I know is just what I see in the papers, or what I hear as I sit behind the free lunch table and listen to the boys bark for their meals…. They call it a Jackson Day Dinner. I made the mistake of my life. I went there with a speech prepared about Jackson, telling how “He stood like a stone wall,” and here it wasn’t that Jackson that they were using as an alibi to give the dinner to. It was old “Andy” Jackson.

Well, to tell you the truth, I am not so sweet on old Andy. He is the one that run us Cherokees out of Georgia and North Carolina. I ate the dinner on him, but I didn’t enjoy it. I thought I was eating for Stonewall. Old Andy, every time he couldn’t find anyone to jump on, would come back and pounce onto us Indians. Course he licked the English down in New Orleans, but he didn’t do it till the war had been over two weeks, so he really just fought them as an encore.” WA #267, Feb. 5, 1928

“…We had a wonderful time that summer. Jim and Dopey came that summer (1915). Jim was a baby boy, and Dopey was a little round bodied, coal black pony, with glass eyes, the gentlest and greatest pony for grown ups or children anyone ever saw. I don’t know why we called him Dopey. I guess it was because he was always so gentle and just the least bit lazy. Anyhow we meant no disrespect to him.

…One year I took Dopey in a (Ziegfeld) Follies baggage car, on the whole tour with the show, and kept him in the riding academys and practiced roping every day with him. Charley Aldrich a cowboy used to ride him, and run by for my fancy roping tricks. He has been missed with a loop more times, and maybe caught more times, than any horse living. In a little picture called the “Roping Fool” where I did all my little fancy catches in slow motion, he was the pony that run for them. He was coal black, and I had my ropes whitened and the catches showed up fine.

…all the children learned trick riding on him, standing up on him running, vaulting… When nineteen years of you and your children’s life is linked so closely with a horse, you can sorter imagine our feelings. We still have quite a few old favorites left, but Dopey was different. He was of the family. He raised our children. He learned ’em to ride. He never hurt one in his life. He did everything right. That’s a reputation that no human can die with.

Goodbye Dopey, from Mama, Dad, Bill, Mary and Jim.” WA #625, Dec. 16, 1934

COLUMBUS: All I know is what I read in the newspaper. If I only depended on television news this month I wouldn’t know about anything but Gary Condit and Powerball.

Television reporters spent a week telling us what Congressman Condit would tell Connie Chung; then the entire week since he said it, they’ve been telling us why we can’t believe what he told her. They only paused long enough to interrupt with bulletins of how many lottery tickets were sold in the previous minute, and what the total purse is up to.

Well, Saturday night they pulled out the numbers, and four people are getting about $40 million each. By now television has told us all about the winners. I guess they’ll leave it to the newspapers to interview the thirty million losers. It seems fair that we should hear their story, too, since they contributed the prize money in the first place.

Workers at one factory contributed $24,000 and came up dry. Just think what the Red Cross could have done with $24,000.

I heard a fellow say on the radio, “I’ve made some mistakes in my past, but now I can do something positive with my future.” I thought at first it was Mr. Condit resigning. But, no, it was a lottery winner, from a poverty stricken region of the country. The man’s been in jail the better part of twenty years, and now he has $40 million.

He announced that he’s going to get a Rolls-Royce, “I’m not one to take a lot of money and splurge on mansions, but I’m sure buying that Rolls.”

Yes, it’ll be the only Rolls-Royce in the state parked beside a trailer. With the dough he has left he may run for Congress.

Historical quote from Will Rogers:

“Lotteries has played – it really has played a great part in our whole history of our country…. Now, here’s something I bet you didn’t know. I bet you didn’t know the Revolutionary War was largely financed by lotteries. They sold tickets on that, you know. They made it a sporting event instead of a war. History shows that George Washington always had number one lottery ticket in every lottery. George had number one. And one time he won – that’s when he bought Mount Vernon. Yes, sir, they made a sweepstakes out of the Revolutionary War. They sold England some tickets, but not the right ones. They didn’t win anything.” Radio broadcast, May 5, 1935

COLUMBUS: The Federal Reserve Board cut interest rates again yesterday. Alan Greenspan said if this cut doesn’t turn the economy around, next time he’ll eliminate interest all together.

And if the country don’t start picking up by Christmas, he’s looking over a plan whereby instead of charging interest, he’ll start paying you to borrow the money. The Government will say, “Here’s a hundred dollars. Next year pay me back the hundred, minus a couple of dollars for your trouble.” So you get a hundred to use for a year, and then pay back the Treasury $98.

You might ask, “Well, it sounds good for me, but what about the Government, won’t they go broke, giving out a hundred and only get back 98?” Not at all… see, normally when they send out a hundred they don’t get nothing back.

Jesse Helms of North Carolina announced today he will retire from the Senate next year. No word yet from Strom Thurmond or Gary Condit.

There’s good news from Chicago… Paul Harvey has his voice back. It ain’t a hundred percent, but he’s good for five minutes a day. Some may argue, but I think if anybody in this country can lay claim to being the Voice of America, it’s him.

Last Saturday I got invited to annoy a bunch of old tractor owners and admirers. It was the tractors that was old, but some of ’em run like new. The tractors are Minneapolis-Molines, and they were all built between 1929 and 1970. Over a hundred of these folks from all over the country were there, and many brought their tractors with them.

They met up in Holmes County, Ohio. That’s the heart of Amish country and there’s no better place to hold a big Show of these classic tractors. No matter how old they are, in Holmes County they look like modern farm machinery.

One of the farmers has 95 M-M’s, and they all run. Another has 12, and only one acre of ground. For the fellow that only has one, he is just as passionate about it because it’s the one he grew up with.

I have told this to some of you before, but it’s worth repeating. A couple of years ago I saw a bumper sticker that read, “A Farm boy always remembers two things… his first kiss, and his first tractor.” And most of ’em remember the tractor better.

Historical quotes from Will Rogers:

“All the financial papers are talking about how cheap money is now, with the Federal Reserve banks, around 3 and 3 1/2 per cent. I don’t see why they don’t say it’s half of one per cent, for there is no way getting any of it, anyway.” DT #1219, June 22, 1930

“The farms are all going back to the horse and mule. You can raise what he eats. But can’t raise what a tractor eats. A horse will keep on going even when it’s hungry, but let the old tractor get hungry and, brother, he stops.” WA #561, Sept 21, 1933