Category: Uncategorized

Looks like it will be April Fools Month. By May, a lot more of us will look like old hippies. April has 30 days, but it will feel like 90.

Did you ever eat a ramp dinner? In Oklahoma the Cherokees call them wild onion dinners. Well, in the spring you go out in the woods and dig up a batch and invite maybe a thousand people to a big dinner affair. Serve ‘em with bacon, corn bread, ham, dried beans, fried potatoes and whatever the cooks decide to add. Ramps taste like mild onions, but the, uh, after-dinner aroma emanating with every breath can be devastating to friend and foe alike.

Ramps can provide a valuable service this spring. If you suspect you have symptoms of the coronavirus, eat a hearty meal of ramps. No, they won’t cure you. But for a few days you’ll be guaranteed social distancing.  Nobody will come within six feet of you.

Do you remember when Japan attacked Pearl Harbor in 1941?  By 1943 America was designing and manufacturing ten to twenty times as much military hardware as any Washington politician in 1940 could have imagined. Engineers and scientists and private enterprise did that. Today, you are seeing a similar explosion of ingenuity in the battle against coronavirus (which no politician could imagine). Need more Ventilators? Ford and GM are cooperating with smaller designers to ramp up production. Running out of fresh N95 masks? Battelle created equipment to sanitize and reuse old masks; each mobile, self-contained machine can clean 80,000 a day. Remember when there were not enough test kits and it took days to know if you had the virus? Abbott Labs developed a test that gives results in less than 5 minutes. And they will produce 50,000 a day. This is only a sample of all the companies joining in this battle. If we can all stay put (except for medical folks, first responders and other essential workers), pretend to be a soccer player (don’t touch anything with your hands), and wash ‘em if you do, then we can get through this with maybe 100,000 deaths instead of a million.

Farmers are continuing to farm. They hope to spend a good part of April in a tractor seat, planting crops. As in many calamities, prices at the farm gate are suffering. Worried consumers cleared out the meat cases, but the price of cattle dropped. Corn and soybeans this fall will likely sell for $50 less per acre than farmers expected when they ordered seed in January.

A former Senator died this weekend. I never met him, but let me tell a funny related story. About ten years ago I landed at the Tulsa Airport. As usual I was dressed as Will Rogers, wearing a blue suit with a small Stetson hat, and on my right shoulder carrying saddlebags with a lasso hooked to ‘em. As I entered the non-restricted area, I noticed a boy, about 12, apparently waiting with his mom for his dad. Now, it’s not unusual in Oklahoma for people to recognize me. They know I’m not really Will Rogers, but we often enjoy a brief conversation. This boy kept gazing at me, astonished, open mouthed. As I got close I smiled at his mom, then asked him, “Do you know who I am?” He gasped, “Are you Senator Coburn?”

Well, the real Tom Coburn, a family doctor in Muskogee, died at age 72 after battling prostate cancer. As a Senator, 2004 to 2016, he had battled wasteful spending and was successful in getting several changes in Congressional appropriations.

Historic quote by Will Rogers:

“Steak on the plate went up. Steak on the hoof went down.” WA #118, March 15, 1925

Columbus: The coronavirus is expanding, just as the medical experts predicted. Besides the medical damage (hospitalizations and deaths), it is strangling the economy. By the time you read this, the stock market may have lost a third of the high value a couple of months ago and millions are out of work.

How does the response by President Trump and Congress compare to the response in 1929 by President Hoover and a Republican Congress?

Well, night and day. In 1929 it was mostly no action, except for the Smoot-Hawley Tariff Act in 1930, which made the Depression even worse. In 2020 the Republicans are quickly pumping about Two Trillion (borrowed) dollars, yes Trillion, into the economy.

Here’s a bit of history. The Stock Market crash in 1929 began Oct. 24. By Oct. 29 it had dropped 25%. By the time the Dow Jones average bottomed out in 1932, stocks had lost 85% of their value. The election of FDR gave a temporary boost until 1937 when it dropped again. If I’m reading the charts correctly, the Dow did not climb back to the 1929 peak until 1954.

Below are a few insightful comments by Will Rogers on President Hoover, Congress, businessmen and bankers.

Note: Will Rogers did not own any stock, following the advice of Bernard Baruch. He invested in land instead.

Historic quotes by Will Rogers: (from Daily Telegrams, Oct-Dec, 1929)

“When Wall street took that tailspin, you had to stand in line to get a window to jump out of.” Oct. 24

“When the stock market goes down Mr. J. P. Morgan [and other prominent New York bankers] hold a meeting and let everybody see them in this huddle. Then the market perks up… It would be a great idea if we could just get these boys in a room together for six months. There is no telling to what heights the market might go.” Oct. 29

“Sure must be a great consolation to the poor people who lost their stock to know it has fallen in the hands of Mr. Rockefeller, who will take care of it and see that it has a good home and never be allowed to wander around unprotected again. There is one rule that works in every calamity, the rich get richer and the poor get poorer.” Oct. 31

“Mr. Hoover is becoming disgusted with the Senate… he took ‘em serious, thereby making his only political mistake.” Nov. 1

“All the big financiers are saying ‘good values are worth as much as they ever were,’ but that’s the trouble, nobody knows what they were ever worth.” Nov. 8

“Prosperity this Winter is going to be enjoyed by everybody that is fortunate enough to get into the Poor Farm.” Nov. 14

“America already holds the record for freak movements. Now we have a new one. It’s called ‘restoring confidence.’ Now I am not unpatriotic and I want to do my bit… But you will have to give me some idea of where ‘confidence’ is. And just who you want it restored to.” Nov. 19

“Wall Street stocks are about back up to where the suckers can start buying again.” Nov. 27

“Poor Democrats, I love ‘em. I guess because some are so dumb. Now they are dying to scare up an issue by trying to discredit Mr. Hoover.” Dec. 23

“Passed the Potter’s Field yesterday and they was burying two staunch old Republicans, both of whom died of starvation, and the man in charge told me their last words were, ‘I still think America is fundamentally sound.’” Dec. 25, 1929

Columbus: Whoa! What a difference a week makes. Last week I said California was concerned about the coronavirus becoming a pandemic.

Now the whole country, including President Trump, knows we are in a pandemic. It is far beyond a few people returning from cruise ships, China, or Europe. We are all at risk. In response, all sports have been cancelled, restaurants closed (except for carry out), and schools are online.

Everyone will work from home if they can. (One glaring exception: airline pilots). Of course, our farmers and ranchers already work from home. That’s one reason we’re not concerned about running out of food, only toilet paper.

Watching CNN and the debate. They took seriously the advice to stay 6 feet away from everyone. Joe Biden and Bernie Sanders are standing at least 6 feet apart; I can’t tell, but they may have a glass wall between them. Even the debate moderators and the commentators on the pre-debate show were spaced far apart. CNN, which routinely has 10 or 12 political experts sitting in a semicircle, creatively solved it by sending two-thirds of ‘em away for the night.

With two long-time Senators going at each other, we learned a lot about how Congress works. Sanders claimed, “You wanted to cut Social Security.” Biden: “No, I always voted for Social Security.” When you’re in there 40 years, you’ve probably been of both sides of a dozen issues. As John Kerry famously said in 2004, “I voted for it before I voted against it.”

Humor and entertainment are necessary in trying times. Will Rogers starred in movies during the Great Depression. And he included quite a bit of humor in his writings, often poking fun at the movie business. (below)

Historic quotes by Will Rogers:
“Producers decided to make fewer and worse pictures. They may make fewer, but they will never make worse ones.” Notes

“We try to make (movies) as good as we can. Bad pictures are not made with a premeditated design. It looks to you sometimes like we must have purposely made ’em that way, but honest we don’t. A bad picture is an accident, and a good one is a miracle.” WA #581 Feb. 11,1934

“I can’t write about the movies for I don’t know anything about them. It’s the only business in the world that nobody knows anything about… The exhibitor says, ‘If you get them too clean nobody is interested in them.’ The so-called intellectual keeps saying, ‘Why don’t they give us something worthwhile in the movies that we can think about.’ The regular movie fan says, ‘Give us something to see, never mind think about. If we wanted to think we wouldn’t come in here.’” New McClure’s Magazine, September 1928

“I like to make little jokes and kid about the Senators. They are a kind of a never-ending source of amusement, amazement, and discouragement. But the Rascals, when you meet ’em face to face and know ’em, they are mighty nice fellows. When you see what they do officially you want to shoot ’em, but when one looks at you and grins so innocently, why you kinda want to kiss him.” WA #345, Aug. 4, 1929

Columbus: The Democratic race is down to Bernie Sanders and Joe Biden. (Tulsi Gabbard is a long, long shot). Even Mike Bloomberg, who spent half a Billion, had no influence except in American Samoa. Bloomberg’s lack of success makes you wonder how much influence Russia had in the 2016 election when they spent a few thousand dollars. How much can Putin afford this year with oil at $30 a barrel?

The coronavirus has jumped from China to our West Coast. In California they’re worried it could become a pandemic. In the rest of the country Democrats fear a Sanders win could cause a pandemic for their Party.

Bernie Sanders does not like Billionaires. He used to hate millionaires, too, but now he is one. So he tolerates ‘em . On television this morning he said the Walton family has over $100 Billion while their 2,000,000 Walmart employees make only $10 to $12 an hour. He kinda implied the Waltons should divide their wealth with those employees. And if he gets Brian Williams and his MSNBC crew to do the math, each employee would get $5,000,000.

Senator Sanders also said half the families in this country live “paycheck to paycheck.” In simple arithmetic (not the Brian Williams method) that means if they earn $3000 a month they spend $3000 a month. And a young couple with 2 or 3 kids will need all of that for a house, car, food and other essential expenses.

But “paycheck to paycheck” also describes families that get $6000 or $8000 or even $12,000 a month and choose to spend it all (or more). Instead of saving for college education, retirement or medical emergencies they spend every dollar. Naturally they will vote for Sen. Sanders for free college, free medical care, and a comfortable retirement from Social Security.

Sanders lost his lead to Biden in the Super Tuesday elections. An amazing comeback for the former Vice-President and Senator. TV commentators are asking Bernie if he will drop out if he loses Michigan this Tuesday. But why should he? He won California and half the states have not voted yet.

With only old white men (Sanders, Biden and Trump) in the race, maybe it’s time for “Will Rogers” to jump in. “I’m” 140, so I got ‘em beat on age. And I’m quarter-blood Cherokee (authentic, not like Sen. Warren). My great-grandfather, Robert Rogers, immigrated from Ireland in 1800, so I should grab the Irish vote.

And here’s the clincher: I’ll ask Congresswoman Tulsi Gabbard of Hawaii to be my VP. Did you know she is part Samoan? Maybe she can persuade Bloomberg to give us his American Samoan delegates. Of course we would rather have the half a Billion he hasn’t spent yet.

Historic quote by Will Rogers:
“Politics has got so expensive that it takes lots of money to even get beat with nowadays.” DT #1538, June 28, 1931

Columbus:  It’s February 29. During the years Will Rogers was writing his syndicated newspaper columns, referred to as Daily Telegrams, he wrote on Leap Day twice, in 1928 and 1932. Here they are, complete.

“Right here in Memphis today over twenty-five policemen went to a hospital and volunteered to give blood transfusions to a kid that was near death. I know that I am out of order in speaking of the good things that cops do, but I am one of the old-fashioned people who believe if somebody pounced on me, I could holler for one and he would come and help me out without me having to pay him anything. The poor fellows can’t catch many criminals as our towns have them too busy marking cars that have been parked too long.” DT #497, Feb. 29, 1928

“Every time Congress starts to tax some particular industry, it rushes down with its main men and they scare ’em out of it. About the only way I see for ’em to do, so it would be fair to everybody, would be for Congress to go into secret session, allow no telephones, no telegrams,, no visitors, so no outside lobbyists can get at ’em, then tax everything they want to, and should tax, then announce, ‘Boys, it’s all over; there is no use shooting at us now.’ As it is now, we are taxing everybody without a lobby.” DT #1747, Feb. 29, 1932

On a current topic… Before there was Senator Bernie Sanders, before Sen. Elizabeth Warren, we had Senator Huey Long of Louisiana with his ‘share the wealth’ plan. Here’s Will, on the CBS Radio network in 1935.

“Now, Huey’s plan to ‘share the wealth,’ it’s a marvelous idea. Huey’s a smart guy, don’t overlook that.   And in our own downright conscience tells us that there’s no reason why, well, anybody should have more than you.  There ain’t nothing wrong with the plan, only this one little defect: Nobody ain’t going to share it with you, that’s all.

I know a lot of tremendously rich people that should share their wealth with me, but they just don’t see it that way.  And I know folks that ain’t got as much as I have that think I ought to share it with them.  Well, I just can’t hardly see it their way either. That is, even if I can see it that way, I’m not doing it.

Well, we take the case of Huey. Suppose Huey was asked to divide his publicity with the other ninety-five senators.  Now what a fine thing.  Say, Huey, we just want you to split this publicity with them, see?  Well, that would be just like getting J. P. Morgan to split what he had with a Navajo. Morgan would say, ‘Well, why should I split with the Navajo?  I got nothing in common with the Navajo.’

Well, that’s what Huey would say, ‘Why should I split with the other ninety-five senators.  I’ve got nothing in common with them.’” Radio, April 21, 1935

Columbus: Senator Sanders has edged ahead in the race for the Democratic nomination. South Carolina may tighten the race leading up to March 3 elections across the country. Naturally anyone in front wants to brag about a lead and momentum. But if this was a football game, Bernie would have the ball on his own 3-yard line. A long, long way to go to score the nomination.

Mike Bloomberg found out his $60 Billion could not protect him from being beat up in his first debate. Senator Warren clobbered him on behalf of the thousands of women he employs and young minority males who like to carry guns in New York City. Joe Biden is performing better in the debates, so perhaps Bloomberg will also improve in his second one Tuesday night.

Farmers were probably surprised that Bloomberg was berated for his previous comments about women and gun-toting urban minorities, but not for insulting American farmers. I figured Senator Klobuchar from the farming state of Minnesota would confront him for claiming all a farmer has to do is dig a hole, drop a seed, cover it up and add a little water and then watch the corn grow. But it was not a surprise because, for these candidates, the farm vote is insignificant compared to women and minorities.

Senator Sanders is drawing his support from the half of the voters who expect to come out ahead with free stuff while the other half are pondering the fate of their wealth and income. Maybe Bernie should convince Bloomberg to be his VP and donate his $60 Billion to the government. That might cover the first week of free stuff.

Senator Warren is pushing her so-called “2 cent” tax on wealth. If you happen to have a million dollars invested in stocks, bonds, farmland or a mansion in Vermont, that “2 cents” means you owe $20,000. Every year. Well, not every year. If she takes away her “2 cents” per year, in 50 years you won’t owe anything because you won’t own anything.

Television commentators are speculating that unless the 14 primaries on March 3 produce a clear winner, the Convention in Milwaukee will be brokered. That would be a donnybrook. Several are comparing it to the 1924 Democratic Convention in New York City. That convention started on June 24 with 20 candidates. It took 103 ballots to get a winner, finally ending on July 10. (Will Rogers covered that convention and wrote 18 daily newspaper articles on it.)

If 2020 promises to be like 1924 I’ll hook on with a newspaper syndicate, if there’s any newspapers left. I have friends in nearby Brookfield so maybe I can bunk in their basement for the duration.

Historic quotes by Will Rogers:

          “Sure, the Government can help us on everything, if we just furnish ‘em the money to do it with.” Notes

“Everybody’s asking, ‘What about all this money the Government is spending?’ It’s pleasing the fellow that’s receiving it, but it’s driving the guy who thinks he is going to have to pay for it about nuts.”  Feb. 4, 1934

Columbus: It was fun for a while. Mayor Bloomberg was rumored to favor Hillary Clinton as his VP running mate. Would that make sense?

If he feared for his life in New York City if he had let everyone carry a gun, well, how would he feel the day after his Inauguration when Clinton is next-in-line? He might want to borrow “my” campaign promise from 1928: “If elected, I will resign.” It might have cost Bloomberg two Billion dollars to serve a few hours as President of the United States, but he would still have several Billion. And be around to spend it. Besides, if one of the other candidates had been elected, he was set to have two percent of his wealth confiscated every year.

Of course it was all a joke, just like the previous paragraph.

The Budget that President Trump sent to Congress is being treated like a joke. It has a Trillion dollars more in spending than receipts. But if you ask someone who is set to receive a portion of the five Trillion dollars how much they are willing to give up to balance the budget, you get a shocked look, “Me? No way. There’s plenty of waste and cheaters. Take it from them.”

Then you ask someone else, and they have an easy solution, “Raise taxes.” Then you ask, “On who?” and the immediate answer is, “On the rich.”

So, there you have the answer. Balance the Budget? Let the other guy do it.

Imagine that!

Historic quotes by Will Rogers: (on the budget)

“We never will get anywhere with our finances till we pass a law saying that every time we appropriate something we got to pass another bill along with it stating where the money is coming from.” DT #1733, Feb. 12, 1932

“Congress, with an eye, not on the budget, but on [election day], put a tax as high as 72 per cent on some incomes. That’s three-fourths; Russia only gets half… The crime of taxation is not in the taking it, it’s in the way that it’s spent.” DT #1764, March 20, 1932

“Everybody says, ‘Where’s the money coming from we’re spending?’ Well, I don’t know, but just offhand, I’d say it’s coming from those that got it.” Radio, Apr. 7, 1935

“Every time Congress starts to tax some particular industry, it rushes down with its main men and they scare ‘em out of it.” DT #1747 Feb. 29, 1932

Columbus: Speaker Pelosi did not like the State of the Union as delivered by President Trump, so she ripped it. Literally ripped it. All 19 pages. She couldn’t tear it all at once, so she ripped it in thirds starting with where he talked about the economy. Then she ripped the middle third where he honored folks including a 100-year old Tuskegee Airman, a middle school student, the widow of a soldier killed by ISIS, the wife of a soldier deployed overseas (who surprised her by walking in), and Rush Limbaugh (who got widely ripped afterwards). Then to be sure everyone saw her, she ripped the last few pages and flung them on her desk.

The next day the Senate ripped up the two Articles of Impeachment. Out of 100 Senators only Senator Romney of Utah did not vote with his Party. Chuck Schumer needed 67 votes to convict Trump, but could only round up 49. At least he kept all 48 Democrats in his corral. Many of those Democrats who were ripping Romney in 2012 are praising him today.

Trump signed the new trade agreement with Canada and Mexico which ripped up the old NAFTA.

In the Super Bowl on Sunday the half time show got ripped. Several football fans thought the pole dancing would be more appropriate in a strip club and was a big setback for women. On the other hand people loved all the fancy dancing and were impressed by the pole climbing talent of a 50-year old mother, Jennifer Lopez. Oh, for the viewers who hung around until the fourth quarter, the Kansas City Chiefs ripped the San Francisco 49ers, coming from 10 points down, scoring 21 to win 31-20.

Iowa Democratic leaders got ripped because 1600 precincts could not count votes and get the results to Des Moines.  I thought about joking the delay was because they were transporting them by Pony Express; then realized that would be an insult to the Pony Express. As it turned out, Pete B. and Bernie S. were pretty much tied. Out of the 1990 convention delegates needed to win the nomination, Iowa gave the Mayor 16 and Sen. Sanders 14.

President Trump will present the Budget to Congress tomorrow. That’s gonna rip a bigger hole in the national debt. We had a Trillion dollar deficit last year and everybody blamed the tax cuts. But, amazingly, they collected just as much dough after cutting the rates as they did before. So maybe the problem is they spent too much. Yes, they will eventually agree on spending far more than we take in, but they will have a roaring good time spending it before the election.

The Oscars just ended (11:35 pm). The “best actor” ripped into dairy farmers for using AI instead of bulls. He wants calves to consume all the milk from cows instead of humans using it. He wants us to eat dry cereal dry and, like Starbucks, add only nut juice to our coffee.

Historic quotes by Will Rogers:

“Did you ever hear of as crazy a law as Kentucky [Iowa??] has? They make ’em wait TWENTY-FOUR HOURS before counting the votes. That’s to give the counters a chance to think it over and be honest. Twenty-four hours is supposed to make you honest in Kentucky… Then they wonder why we don’t take our lawmakers serious.” DT #1339, Nov. 7, 1930

“I’m not a member of any organized political party… I’m a Democrat.” (paraphrased)

“The Budget is a mythical bean bag. Congress votes mythical beans into it and then tries to reach in a pull real beans out.” DT #2047, Feb. 24, 1935

Columbus: While the Impeachment trial continues in the Senate, the Democratic campaign will reach a milestone in the next couple of weeks. The Iowa caucus and the New Hampshire primary often narrow the field of candidates.

This year may be different. Look only at the number of delegates earned by each of the top 4 or 5 candidates. Those numbers will be small with very little difference between them.

As the Nevada and South Carolina wrap up February primaries, we may be surprised how few delegates each candidate has.

A challenge for all candidates, including Trump, and the Impeachment lawyers is to stick to facts. Tell the truth. Or when expressing an opinion, make sure your audience can hear the opposite side, too. Give folks information so they can think it through and make fair decisions.

Kobe Bryant died today when his Sikorsky helicopter crashed, killing all 9 on board. Undoubtedly, you know about the tragedy. Jerry West was the General Manager of the Lakers who made a deal so the 17 year-old Bryant could be drafted and play in Los Angeles. Today West said, “He was like a son to me. This is a God-awful day.”

I want to emphasize a quote by Kobe. In an interview at the end of his last game after 20 years as a Los Angeles Laker (April 2016), he said he wanted to be remembered as a “talented overachiever.” (I had the) “talent but I WORKED AS IF I HAD NONE.”  Wow. Imagine if those of us with average talent worked as if we had none. Think of all we could accomplish collectively!

Historic quotes by Will Rogers:

“It’s only the inspiration of those who die that makes those who live realize what constitutes a useful life.” DT #2056, March 7, 1933

“The less a voter knows about you, the longer he is liable to vote for you.  I think you will find that campaigns have ruined more men than they have ever made.” Life magazine, Oct. 28, 1928

“With the elections coming on you are going to be fed up with a lot of hooey about a lot of things. Naturally the [candidates] are to put their best ‘side’ forward. They are just trying now to figure out which side is their best.” WA #492, May 29, 1932

“You can’t beat an Administration by attacking it. You have to show some plan of improving on it.” WA #101, July 26, 1928

“I don’t know of any quicker way in the world to be forgotten in this country than to be defeated for President.”  WA #382, July 6, 1924

Columbus: Harry and Meghan are no longer Royalty. She’s going back to acting. Harry can find work as a professional speaker. No need for support from Britain or Canada. They can afford their own bodyguards, thank you.

Speaker Pelosi signed the Articles of Impeachment with fifty gold-plated personalized collector pens. Seven House members carried those Articles across the Capitol to the Senate. That solemn procession resembled a funeral with six pall bearers carrying, and a preacher walking behind the coffin. Instead of those Articles being DOA, Speaker Pelosi hopes for ROPT. (Removal of President Trump).

Meanwhile, in news affecting the well-being of 350 million Americans, China signed an agreement to buy more of our manufactured and agricultural products, and the trade agreement with Canada and Mexico was finalized.

Farmers are optimistic these deals will lead to more sales of soybeans, corn, cotton, rice, beef, pork, chicken, milk, rice, wheat and about any other product you can name, including almonds. The China deal may be the bigger one, if they follow through and do what they promised. Mexico and Canada are more dependable.

The Kansas City Chiefs are back in the Super Bowl after a 50 year absence. They will play the San Francisco 49ers, who won 5 championships, mainly with Joe Montana and Coach Bill Walsh in the 1980s, and lost in 2013.

Concerning the quotes below, I included these in Weekly Comments 3 years ago, as Donald Trump was beginning his first year as President. It’s worth reading them again as Trump enters the final year of this term. Of course if the Democrats in Congress get their way, this would be his final month.

Historic quotes by Will Rogers:

 “If there is one thing that a politician hates worse than a recount, it’s somebody that is not in their business.” Life magazine, May 31, 1928

“There is nothing impresses ‘common folk’ like somebody that ain’t common.” DT #612, July 12, 1928

“Things in our country run in spite of government; not by the aid of it.” DT #1930, July 28, 1930

“People don’t change under governments; the governments change, but the people remain the same.”  There’s Not a Bathing Suit in Russia, 1927

“Every man gets an opportunity once in a lifetime.” DT #2077, March 31, 1933  [today I would say, Every man and woman…]