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Do you know what a Navigator is? You might think it’s a guy on a boat that helps the Captain go in the right direction.

Today there’s another kind of Navigator, ones that are helping three hundred million Americans get their health insurance headed in the right direction. Not all at once, mind you, but millions and millions must get onboard the big ship named Obamacare by December 23.  That ship, the biggest ever built, was launched two months ago and its engines have been sputtering and coughing so much it’s moving mighty slow. How many knots? Well, more nots than knots.

I talked to one of these Navigators, trying to get to the bottom of the problem. Not all Navigators are alike, but here’s one situation. He got trained in October and they gave him three thick notebooks. I had to ask, anywhere in those thousands of pages of instructions, does it say, If you like your doctor you can keep your doctor?

Where this fellow lives, there are about 750 poor folks who had been able to see a doctor for little or no money, but they were told they couldn’t do that anymore and had to sign up on the Affordable Care website. They were asked to call this Navigator if they needed help.

Well, here’s what happened to those 750. About 150 called    to ask what’s going on, why am I losing this deal that I like? Keep in mind probably half of ‘em don’t have a computer or internet, so they need help signing up. He started three weeks ago, helping these 750, and he has about two weeks remaining to get ‘em all onboard by the December 23 deadline.

How many has he signed up so far? Six. Yes, six out of 750. But not all six. Two got started but the website froze up. They got passwords, but no ID.  Two others were eligible for Medicaid (free health care), but got stuck. Calling the 800 number didn’t help; put on hold. More than two hours working with each, and still not signed up. Well, why not fill out the forms and mail ‘em in? No, he was informed that mailed forms wouldn’t get read and approved soon enough by the government. You can’t blame the Post Office. But it makes you wonder, if Santa and his elves can handle millions of letters, why can’t Obama.

And the other two? Those two got on, passwords selected and received their ID numbers. So those two are done? No, they have to pick an insurance plan. There’s only one company, but they do have a choice of platinum, gold, silver or bronze plans. Do you think many of these 750 can afford platinum or gold?

Remember, these folks had health care privileges at a local clinic. But after January 1, they have to have Obamacare. Well, six down (partly), only 744 to go.

Historic quote by Will Rogers: (writing after his gall bladder operation)
“If you want to stay well, just bet a lot of rich (insurance) companies that you will get sick. Then if you can’t have any luck getting sick, have the policy cut down, and before six months you’ll be saying, “Doctor, the pain is right there.” Ether and Me, 1927

President Obama announced that Secretary Kerry and diplomats from a few other nations have worked out a deal with Iran on nuclear energy. There is a lot of disagreement on exactly what’s in the agreement. Near as I can tell, Iran has promised not to build a nuclear bomb for six months if we give them $7 Billion.

Israel and Saudi Arabia were not in on the deal, and neither was a bunch of our Senators. They seem to doubt we should take the word of the Ayatollah and Ahmadinejad.

Did you hear than J.P. Morgan Chase agreed to pay a fine of $13 Billion? I didn’t even know the bank had $13 Billion. Where’s the money coming from? Well, it’s coming from those that have got it: the stockholders, primarily the mutual funds that own those stocks. Where’s the money going? Well, I heard $7 Billion is going to Iran.

Oh, I know it’s not the same $7 Billion. But John Kerry has to get it from somewhere. And even though they announced a 6-month agreement, I bet it’s for 12. They don’t want ‘em to bomb anybody till after the election on November 4. Couldn’t stand the bad news. Even on the Affordable Care Act they postponed one deadline from October 15 to November 15.

That health care website has only signed up a hundred thousand people. Democrats are disappointed, but not as much as computer hackers. They’ve been counting on grabbing millions of bank account numbers for their Christmas shopping.

The Senate voted to outlaw filibusters on nominations made by the President. A few years ago Senator Reid was against this “nuclear option,” but as Senate Leader he’s all for it. From now on it will take only 51 votes to approve a nomination, not 60. Shucks, I don’t know which is better, but filibusters are more fun.

I sure wish Congress would get serious and pass the farm bill. The holdup over how much to slice from food stamps is like the tail wagging the dog. Except the “tail” is four times bigger than the dog.

Historic quotes by Will Rogers:

“The only problem that confronts this country today is at least 7,000,000 people are out of work…. These people that you are asked to aid, why they are not asking for charity, they are naturally asking for a job, but if you can’t give ‘em a job, why the next best thing you can do is see that they have food and the necessities of life.” Radio, Oct 18, 1931

(on Thanksgiving Day) “In the days of its founders they were willing to give thanks for mighty little, for mighty little was all they expected. But now neither government or nature can give enough but what we think it’s too little. Those old boys in the Fall of the year, if they could gather in a few pumpkins, potatoes and some corn for the winter, they was in a thanking mood. But if we can’t gather in a new Buick, a new radio, a tuxedo and some government relief, why we feel like the world is agin us.” DT #2594, Nov. 28, 1934

“Diplomats are just as essential to starting a war as soldiers are for finishing it.” Saturday Evening Post, June 9, 1928

“There is one thing no nation can accuse us of, and that is secret diplomacy. Our foreign dealings are an open book, generally a check book.” WA #45, Nov. 18, 1923

Are you confused? I sure am, and I’m the first to admit it. President Obama has been saying for three years that if you like your health care plan you can keep it. If you like your doctor you can keep your doctor. Period. Exclamation point!

Before the Affordable Care Act passed, Speaker Pelosi announced that Congress had to pass it before we could find out what was in it. Now it appears that President Obama still hasn’t found out what’s in it. I rather doubt Mrs. Pelosi knows either.

President Obama said he is sorry that millions of people are losing their health insurance after he assured them otherwise. But he still did not apologize for misleading the public in the first place, and for doing it consistently for more than three years. If he had come clean after the bill was signed and finally passed muster with the Supreme Court (after changing the word “penalty” to “tax”) the present occupant of the White House would probably be Mitt Romney. How many votes would he have lost if he had announced last October, “I was wrong. Some of you can keep your health insurance, but millions will be dropped because of Obamacare. Some will save money, but most will pay more. And by the way, losing an Ambassador and three others in Benghazi to a planned terror attack was my fault.”

Now, the President implies he wants to help people get back their dropped insurance plans. How can he persuade private insurance companies to extend canceled policies when he cannot even persuade Democrats in the Senate to change part of the healthcare law? Nobody trusts Congress or the President since they exempted themselves and their staffs from paying the same out-of-pocket monthly cost as other individuals. Labor unions lobbied for the health care law, but they have also been granted an exemption.

We spent $600 Million on a website that barely works, and may cost a Billion to get it running full speed. Maybe we should have used that Billion to subsidize insurance for those with pre-existing conditions, and leave the rest of us alone. Wouldn’t that be common sense?

As I say, I’m confused. If you figure out a logical conclusion to this mess, let me know.

Historic quotes by Will Rogers:

“This day is no doubt the greatest day in all the world history. Armistice Day, when you think that a half dozen men could sit down and casually sign a pact to stop millions of men from killing each other. But if they don’t stop these guys making these speeches over the radio on Armistice Day, why we are liable to have the same war over again, only worse.” DT #1028, Nov. 11, 1929

“Celebrated twelve years of continuous peace yesterday, and we looked about as bad as we did twelve years ago when we celebrated the end of two years of war… Peace is kinder like prosperity. There is mighty few nations that can stand it.” DT #1343, Nov. 12, 1930

The Boston Red Sox won the World Series. The victory came the night before Halloween. Several players reportedly disguised themselves for Trick or Treat by shaving off their beards. Nobody recognized them. The players who kept their beards got up before daylight and went duck hunting.

I read that some schools in New York had closed their playgrounds to baseball, dodgeball, and tag. I guess because somebody might fall or get hit by a ball. Then the Post Office was forced to throw out millions of new stamps showing children having fun playing different sports. Someone noticed that one stamp shows a kid standing on his head, without a helmet. And another jumping into a pool. He didn’t have a helmet either. I knew helmets were recommended for football and bike riding, but swimming and gymnastics?

I guess “my” old habit of lassoing girls’ feet from behind as they walked to school would be frowned on today. It was frowned on back then too, but nobody passed a law agin’ it. Those girls always got even though, made me wish I had a helmet.

Congress is still working on the Farm Bill. Both the Senate and the House voted to cut a little from food stamps, they just can’t agree on how much to cut. The problem is they want to cut everyone the same amount. Maybe a better idea would be to line up all recipients from the poorest, neediest, hungriest ones on up to folks that barely quality because they are healthy and their income is above the poverty level. Common sense would say you take care of the folks at the bottom, and when you run out, the ones who are not so poor can buy their food the same way they did a few years ago. But in Washington, this is no time for common sense.

Historic quotes by Will Rogers (on farm bills):

“Here is my Farm Relief bill: Every time a Southerner plants nothing on his farm but cotton year after year, and the Northerner nothing but wheat or corn, why, take a hammer and hit him twice right between the eyes. You may dent your hammer, but it will do more real good than all the (farm relief) bills you can pass in a year.” DT #169, Feb. 13, 1927.

“Hoover called on Congress to aid farm relief. Up to now there has been one thousand and twenty-seven bills introduced; one was for farm relief and one thousand and twenty-six to aid the members that introduced ‘em. It was supposed to be just for Farm Relief, but they got ‘em in there for everything from Birth Control to Mass Production.” DT#850, Apr. 17, 1929

“(The farm bill) gives relief to the farmer in so many complicated ways that even if he received no relief at all, why, just trying to study it out will keep him so busy that he will forget he ever wanted relief. Then there is two or three billion appropriations in there to put mortgages on farms at a small rate of interest and long time payments. Well that’s fine but they all already got ‘em on… Then there was gold and silver. All in the farmers’ bill mind you. Now the poor farmer hasn’t even seen a few copper pennies, much less any gold or silver.” WA #542, May 14, 1933

Do you remember when one of our first astronauts was asked what he was thinking just before liftoff? He said, “I was thinking, ‘Every part of this rocket was supplied by the low bidder.’”

Well, even though it has already cost over $600 Billion, every component of the Healthcare.gov website was provided by the low bidder. Last week a half dozen of those low bidders were grilled by Congress. All of ‘em had the same answer for the early failures, “It’s not my fault.” And nobody seemed to know exactly who is in charge. They cashed their checks, but don’t remember who signed ‘em.

Secretary Kathleen Sebelius, gets her turn this week to give us the lowdown on who’s to blame. She’s finding out that compared to the Affordable Healthcare Act, it was a lot easier to run Kansas. She probably wishes the man she works for would trade in his inspirational cheerleading outfit. He’s standing on the sidelines prodding the crowd to yell their encouragement to the team, “Go Health! Go Health! Go Health!” Sebelius could say, “Mr. President, please put down the pom poms, grab a helmet, get out there and lead this team down the field. We’re already in the second half, and we’re behind 49-0.”

Peace has returned to Washington, temporarily, and Congress is working on the farm bill. Years ago, the farm bill was “relief for the farmer.” Now, they have been arguing for two years, not so much on farm relief, but rather food relief which accounts for about 80%. Some folks say the farmer don’t need any relief, give it all to anyone who says they’re hungry. Nobody can argue against feeding hungry children, but we might want to throw a few crumbs to the farmers. I suggested one time that the farmers move to town for a year. If they do, the number one healthcare problem won’t be a website; it’ll be famishment.

Historic quotes by Will Rogers:

“I have always claimed that the farmer will get no relief by legislation, for there is more people eating than there is raising, so he is a minority before he starts.” DT #570, May 29, 1928

“Tax relief, farm relief… none of these have been settled, but they are getting them in shape for consideration at the next session of Congress with the hope that those needing relief will perhaps have conveniently died in the meantime.” DT #557, May 9, 1928

“Farmers, get out your sense of humor. Congress meets to relieve you again next week.” DT #841, Apr. 7, 1929

“(President) Coolidge isn’t keeping the great American people in suspense on that farming bill purposely. It takes time to feel out the whole country and see which side has the most votes.” DT #180, Feb. 24, 1927

Do you remember when one of our first astronauts was asked what he was thinking just before liftoff? He said, “I was thinking, ‘Every part of this rocket was supplied by the low bidder.’”

Well, even though it has already cost over $600 Billion, every component of the Healthcare.gov website was provided by the low bidder. Last week a half dozen of those low bidders were grilled by Congress. All of ‘em had the same answer for the early failures, “It’s not my fault.” And nobody seemed to know exactly who is in charge. They cashed their checks, but don’t remember who signed ‘em.

Secretary Kathleen Sebelius, gets her turn this week to give us the lowdown on who’s to blame. She’s finding out that compared to the Affordable Healthcare Act, it was a lot easier to run Kansas. She probably wishes the man she works for would trade in his inspirational cheerleading outfit. He’s standing on the sidelines prodding the crowd to yell their encouragement to the team, “Go Health! Go Health! Go Health!” Sebelius could say, “Mr. President, please put down the pom poms, grab a helmet, get out there and lead this team down the field. We’re already in the second half, and we’re behind 49-0.”

Peace has returned to Washington, temporarily, and Congress is working on the farm bill. Years ago, the farm bill was “relief for the farmer.” Now, they have been arguing for two years, not so much on farm relief, but rather food relief which accounts for about 80%. Some folks say the farmer don’t need any relief, give it all to anyone who says they’re hungry. Nobody can argue against feeding hungry children, but we might want to throw a few crumbs to the farmers. I suggested one time that the farmers move to town for a year. If they do, the number one healthcare problem won’t be a website; it’ll be famishment.

Historic quotes by Will Rogers:

“I have always claimed that the farmer will get no relief by legislation, for there is more people eating than there is raising, so he is a minority before he starts.” DT #570, May 29, 1928

“Tax relief, farm relief… none of these have been settled, but they are getting them in shape for consideration at the next session of Congress with the hope that those needing relief will perhaps have conveniently died in the meantime.” DT #557, May 9, 1928

“Farmers, get out your sense of humor. Congress meets to relieve you again next week.” DT #841, Apr. 7, 1929

“(President) Coolidge isn’t keeping the great American people in suspense on that farming bill purposely. It takes time to feel out the whole country and see which side has the most votes.” DT #180, Feb. 24, 1927

COLUMBUS: The 16-Day War in Washington ended. Like a lot of recent wars, including the War on Terror, nobody won, and it’s not really over. And it cost a lot of money. Democrats say the shutdown cost $24 Billion. Republicans say their goal was to save a Trillion.

Both parties are gearing up to do it all over again in 3 months. They’re digging in, firmly entrenched. Do you think they might agree to “meet in the middle?” Not a chance. Not a chance.

President Obama says he wants immigration reform and a farm bill. Of course his version of the farm bill has more than 80% of the money going to food stamps, not farmers. Having 46 million folks poor enough to collect food stamps is not enough; he wants to continue rewarding federal employees who round up more of ‘em. And by immigration reform he means to let the millions who sneaked in from Mexico become voting citizens. Of course the debt ceiling will have to be raised again. And again. And again.

Senator Coburn said, “We just raised the debt limit… that’s like saying we’re going to raise the legal limit for blood alcohol thinking we’re going to control drunk driving.”

Here’s an interesting fact related to Social Security. Half the people working today expect to work well past age 65. But our elected officials in Washington say, “No, let ‘em retire; no need to increase the retirement age.”

Would you like to read a good book? “Will Rogers: I Never Met a Farmer I Didn’t Like” is now available. Go to http://www.willrogerstoday.com. One click takes you to Amazon. Or, if you want 3 or more, send me an email: for a good deal.

Here’s what 3 folks who know a little about Will and agriculture said about the book:

“This is a superb collection of Will Rogers’ many words of agriculturally-related wit and wisdom,” stated Steve Gragert, Director of the Will Rogers Museum in Claremore, Oklahoma.

Jennifer Rogers-Etcheverry, Will’s great-granddaughter, adds, “Being married to a farmer I truly appreciate the quotes and stories in this book. These inspirational words are just as true today as they were when Will Rogers said them himself.”

“You can’t help but smile as you read through Will Rogers’ wise cracks woven with wisdom. It is the perfect gift for all of us with deep roots in agriculture,” Charlene Finck, Farm Journal Editor.

Historic quotes by Will Rogers:

“You know a man with a message is a whole lot harder to listen to than any other species of speaker.” WA #28, June 24, 1923

“I don’t make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.”

“Farmers, get out your sense of humor. Congress meets to relieve you again next week.” DT #841, Apr. 7, 1929

COLUMBUS: Does anyone understand what’s going on in Washington? A week ago I thought common horse sense would prevail. But common horse sense done rode out of town.

The “negotiations” began with President Obama announcing that he would not negotiate. He said, “You want to cut expenses and make changes to the Obamacare law, but there will be no changes to that law, except the dozen I made myself.”

It reminds me of a person wanting to sell an old car for $100. A man, let’s call him John, offers $90. The owner, we’ll call him Harry, says, “No way.” After reassessing his financial situation, John raises his offer to $95. Harry says “No.” Days pass. John calls, “Ok, $99.” Harry remains adamant, “$100!” More days go by. Finally, John offers $99.50. Harry replies, “It’s $102 or no deal.” Well, that’s Washington today.

Did you hear this? The Washington Redskins are to change their name, due to the negative associations. From now on, they will be known as the Maryland Redskins. (Thanks to Ron Culberson for sending me that line, written by Dan Stewart.)

Our veterans gathered in Washington today. These guys don’t like the federal government telling them to stay out of their war memorials. They took barriers away from the memorials and hauled them up the street to surround the White House instead. That’s a start. Next they should haul another batch up Capitol Hill and corral all 535 Senators and Congressmen.

The Defense Dept. announced the shutdown prevented them from paying death benefits to the families of five who died in Afghanistan. Terrible decision. I’m sure the official in charge wanted to pay ‘em, but he asked a lawyer to interpret the law. Big mistake. Here’s something I wrote in 1935. “Every time a lawyer writes something, he is not writing for posterity, he is writing so that endless others of his craft can make a living out of trying to figure out what he said… One level-headed smart man could interpret every law there is.”

Did you hear about the disastrous blizzard that hit western South Dakota last week? A cold rain followed by three feet of snow and 70 mph wind resulted in the horrible death of thousands of cattle (and sheep). If you didn’t know, it’s because big newspapers and television practically ignored it. Imagine the difference if somehow 50,000 cats and dogs had died in a natural disaster; it would have been on the news constantly for days.

Historic quote by Will Rogers:

“What makes it hard for (Congress) is every time a bill comes up they have a million things to decide that have nothing to do with the merit of the bill… The principal thing is of course: What will this do for me personally back home? Politics, and self-preservation, must come first, never mind the majority of the people of the U.S.” WA #78, June 8, 1924

#774 Oct. 6, 2013

COLUMBUS: The Federal government has partially shut down. Has it affected you?

You had better say “YES!” If you don’t, the President will find a few other things to close. The World War II Memorial, which like the Vietnam War Memorial, the Korean War Memorial and the Lincoln Memorial, is open air with no gates, no doors, and no way of closing. But they installed temporary barriers anyway.

They shut down Mount Rushmore, but people could still see it from a nearby road. So they blocked off part of that road. I guess if you want to see it, you have to rent a helicopter.

Did you know the beautiful state of Utah is almost three-quarter owned by the federal government? To keep us from seeing it, they may block every entrance to the state.

Hope no one in Washington remembers the Interstate Highway System is 90 percent Federal. Blocking those roads would sure get our attention.

Good thing all the farmers haven’t shut down. If they stopped milking the cows and feeding the pigs and chickens for a day it would cause more havoc than any shutdown Obama can dream up.

It’s not all the Democrats fault. The conservative Republicans insist on reduced spending whether it’s for health insurance, food stamps or federal salaries. They want to shut down part of the government, just not the part Democrats are willing to let go.

How about this idea. Invite President Obama and his Cabinet to the Capitol for a joint session of Congress, kinda like they do for the State of the Union speech. Then block all the exits. Don’t let anybody out until they agree on something.

Once they get this government shutdown behind them, they’ve got the debt ceiling to argue over. President Obama figures he needs to borrow an extra Trillion dollars to get through the next election, and if he don’t get it by next week, the Treasury Secretary will stop our interest payments to China. Oddly, there’s plenty of revenue coming in to pay the interest, and there’s no need to default and cause panic on Wall Street. But the President has seen his middle class folks living in pain the last five years, and he wants the big stockholders to suffer along with ‘em. The President of any business that’s pinched for cash would prioritize where to spend, and where to delay payment. But not this President. His priority is to inflict as much pain as possible… on Republicans.

Too bad the scare from Washington isn’t just an early Halloween prank.

Historic quotes by Will Rogers:

“The Government never has been accused of being a business man.” WA #158, Dec. 20, 1925

“Prosperity this Winter is going to be enjoyed by everybody that is fortunate enough to get into the poor farm.” DT #1031, Nov. 14, 1929

#773 Sept. 22, 2013

COLUMBUS: Football is off to a good start and has never been more popular. Meanwhile, Congress is coming to the end of the fiscal year, and has never been less popular. Could it be because the average football coach is smarter than the average Congressional leader?

Congress is facing a pile of decisions, none bigger than whether to fund the entire government. Democrats want to fund 100% of it; Republicans want to fund about 95%. The big disagreement is over the Affordable Care Act and who gets blamed if millions of people dependant on the government don’t receive their payments October 1. When your government runs through Ten Billion a day and you threaten to shut off the spigot, it gets attention.

A lot of that spending is right there in Washington. Yes, the rest of the country is kinda suffering through hard times with high unemployment, but Washington is booming.

President Obama says he will not negotiate any changes with Republicans. Of course that’s after he already made a bunch of changes in the original ACA. He said it wasn’t a tax, but the Supreme Court says it is. He allowed big companies and certain unions to delay it a year, but not small companies or individual families. Congress and their staff members are exempt, and so are IRS employees, including thousands of new ones who will enforce the healthcare law. If it’s so great, why do the people who wrote the law, and those who will enforce the law, want to make sure the law does not apply to them? Those folks should be the first ones to sign up.

In Kenya, more than a hundred people were shot at a mall by an Islamist terrorist group based in Somalia. And, unbelievably, some of the Islamic killers are Somali-Americans. How disgusting is it when we allow Somalis to come here to escape the terror at home, and they turn against us.

Miss New York got selected as Miss America. She’s a lovely, talented young woman, very deserving, but some folks didn’t like it because she’s an Indian-American. If you confuse Indian-American with American Indian, blame Christopher Columbus. When he landed in 1492 he was more than ten thousand miles short of reaching India but that didn’t stop him from claiming the natives were Indians. Since there were no geography teachers around to correct him, we’re stuck with the name.

Historic quotes by Will Rogers:

“After a football (soccer) game in Lima, Peru, five were killed. Up here we don’t kill our football players. We make coaches out of the smartest ones and send the others to the Legislature.” DT #1389, Jan. 5, 1931

“Today minds are not on politics, they are not on national affairs, they are on football. Millions of football fans are going to football games. Mind you, I think it’s a great thing.” DT #726, Nov. 23, 1928

“No matter how hard times are you can always find enough to attend a football game. Football should prosper. It has given more employment to the young men of this country than any other industry.” DT #1352, Nov. 23, 1930