Category: Uncategorized

Weekly Comments: Congress and the President provide the humor

COLUMBUS: Congress is acting plumb nutty. They just announced a plan to tax 90% of the AIG bonus money that Congress approved just a month ago. Of course, we would like for ’em to give the bonuses back, considering we own 80 percent of the company. But Washington is fretting over a few million in retention bonuses while the trillions they handed out are wandering around, promiscuously.

The latest plan from Mr. Geithner is to run off a Trillion dollars in bills on the old printing press. China and the rest of the world stopped loaning us money, so he figured he’d just print some himself and hand it out. He also wants FDIC to spend half a Trillion to stop banks from going under. As I recollect, FDIC insures our bank accounts against bank failure. And at the rate banks are failing, they could run out of money before Christmas. So keep your fingers crossed. Our Treasurer is betting $1.5 Trillion of our money on the plan.

If the President and Congress had an inkling how much trouble they would have spending and managing that $700 Billion stimulus, maybe they would have given more thought to letting people keep their tax payments for 3 or 4 months. There would have been no need for Congressional hearings to charge any average taxpayer with giving his tax rebate toward a million dollar Wall Street bonus. Little, if any, would have wound up in French banks. Popular vacation spots might be hiring instead of laying off.

The whole country now realizes we overspent, over mortgaged, and over capitalized. The only way to solve the problem is to get back to spending only what we make, and if you have to borrow, make sure it’s no more than you can reasonably expect to pay back. The people know it; the problem is convincing Congress and the President.

Our President is trying to juggle a whole lot of problems instead of working on one big one. He’s campaigning across the country and on television programs for everything he promised: taxes on coal, gas and oil; national health care; smaller farms; taxes on the rich.

Maybe something said by a humorist in 1931 could help the President focus (see first quote below). Will Rogers was invited to appear on a special radio broadcast on unemployment. He was followed on the program by President Herbert Hoover.

 

“Now we read in the papers every day, and they get us all excited over one or a dozen different problems that’s supposed to be before this country. There’s not really but one problem before the whole country at this time. It’s not balancing (the) budget. And it’s not the League of Nations that we read so much about. It’s not the silver question. The only problem that confronts this country today is at least 7,000,000 people are out of work. That’s our only problem. There is no other one before us at all. It’s to see that every man that wants to is able to work, is allowed to find a place to go to work. And also to arrange some way of getting more equal distribution of the wealth in the country.” Radio, October 18, 1931

“I could study all my life and not think up half the amount of funny things they can think of in one session of Congress.” WA #119, March 22, 1925

“There’s two different schools of thought in this country on the value of money. People who have money are against the printing press. They’re against printing any more money. And people that haven’t got any are in favor of it, you see? That’s the two schools. Both of them, mind you, are equally honest. It’s awful hard to reconcile two views like that. The only way I see for folks to ever view the money question alike is for everybody not to have any. Then they’ll all look at it the same way; or go the other way and let everybody have some. But if nobody’s got any, the old printing press will look pretty good. But if everybody’s got some, in the ash can goes the printing press.” Radio, May 26, 1935

 

“Personality and promises are basic to politics. You have the personality. I’ll equip you with the promises.”   From the movie “County Chairman”. In the role of a campaign manager, Will Rogers adlibbed this line to his candidate. 1935

Historic quotes from Will Rogers:

Weekly Comments: Words of wisdom from country folks

IRELAND: As I write this, it’s almost St. Patrick’s Day. And there’s no better place to write from than Ireland.

By now you may be tired of reading and hearing stories about Irish parades and Irish celebrations with their green eggs, green beer, green shamrocks, and girls decorated in green. What you’re ready for is fewer green faces and more greenbacks.

I don’t have a plan to get you more money, but folks here in Ireland can sure help you learn to get by with less of it. Let me get one thing straight… this Ireland is not way over next to England; it’s right here in America, in the fine state of West Virginia. These folks put on an Irish Spring Festival every year, and it’s grown so big it stretches over two weeks. The big addition this year is a new parking area. It’s multi-level parking. The main building has all the modern conveniences (running water, electricity, big kitchen), but to help you get in the “old-time” mood, visitors are invited to use the outhouse.

I asked some of these Ireland “natives” for their opinion of the economy. They aren’t optimistic. One told me, “We’ve got plenty of deer, groundhogs, and quite a few bears, but if the city folks back East run out of food, we’re afraid they may come over here and shoot all of ’em. During the Depression you could hunt for a week and not even see a sign of a deer.”

These country folks know how to grow their own food, raise a few chickens, hogs and sheep, milk a cow, churn butter and pick blackberries. If necessary, they barter for what they can’t produce. When they talk of buying and selling stock, it’s the four-legged variety. And it leaves them scratching their heads when they read about the big shots in New York that can’t survive without a million dollar bonus, even when the outfit they work for is broke and getting by on handouts from the taxpayers.

President Obama abandoned his plan to get his voters to buy stock (the New York variety). He realized he had been talking to the wrong audience, and this past week addressed CEOs, bankers, and top financiers. In other words, people with money. He told ’em the economy is fundamentally sound. They believed him and stock prices shot up 10 percent.

The President signed the big appropriations bill, which followed on top of the big stimulus bill. Congress wanted quick results and it’s already making an impact on education. First graders are now learning to count to a trillion.

Historic quotes from Will Rogers:

“The way I figure this thing will end is that the Depression won’t be solved. It will just remain with us, and as a new generation grows up, why they won’t be used to anything else and they won’t mind it… (For) these young ones coming along, the old car will be worn out, the radio gone, and a hundred and one other things he won’t know anything about. He will only buy what he needs, and will pay for it. So you see the Depression won’t end till we grow a generation that knows how to live on what they got and never knew anything else.” WA #569, Nov. 19, 1933

Weekly Comments: Unemployment everywhere but Washington

COLUMBUS: All I know about unemployment is what I read in the newspapers. Unemployment is getting worse, especially in the newspaper business. This country claims to have a higher literacy rate than years ago when McGuffey’s Fourth Reader was as far as some of us ever got. But what good is it to know how to read if you don’t read.

Mark Twain once said, “If you don’t read the newspaper you are uniformed. And if you do read the newspaper you are misinformed.” Well, Samuel Clemens was a newspaper man himself so he was kinda poking fun at his own industry. Today, if you want to be misinformed the best bet is to get your news from the internet or television. Newspapers is doing the best they can with what they got left. I sure do appreciate the ones that let me annoy their readers weekly.

Back to this unemployment. Have you noticed that one place is never plagued by unemployment: Washington. Now every few years a mess of Republicans replace a mess of Democrats, and vice versa, but there’s always a net gain. We should be hiring people where they know how to make and build something, like Detroit, Pittsburgh, and Des Moines, and let go the ones in Washington and Wall Street where the main talent is trading sheets of paper and arguing.

President Obama went on the radio and told us things are looking up, so go out and buy some stocks. It leads to a tough choice: do I buy a cup of coffee or a share of bank stock? They cost the same and the coffee will be gone in a few minutes. But so could the bank.

Well, all the millions of folks that voted for him got the message. They checked their portfolio, and spent the rest of the week… selling. Voting for him cost nothing, but this is real money.

Congress sent an appropriations bill to the President. It has 8000 pork barrel earmarks, including one that really is pork. Iowa is to get a million dollars to study the body odor of a hog. Well, I can save ’em the entire million because hogs smell the same today as they ever did. The only problem is that too many people who never smelled a hog are moving in next door to ’em. PETA and the Humane Society of the U.S. have proposed a solution; they want to shut down these farms. So if you like ham and bacon and pork chops you may have to raise your own in the back yard. With a sow and a dozen little pigs rooting around your flower beds and manicured lawn, odor may be the least of your worries.

Good news in Houston. Barbara Bush is recovering fine. Doctors replaced a heart valve with one from a pig. Now there’s a pork project that’s worthwhile.

Historic quotes from Will Rogers:

“The reason there wasn’t much unemployment in the last ten years preceding 1929 was every man that was out of a job went to work for the government. It costs ten times more to govern us than it used to, and we are not governed one-tenth as good.” DT #1770, March 27, 1932

“We used to think that if a man was out of a job for a few months that that was almost a record, but now it goes by the years. What can be done to relieve it? It’s our only problem. All the rest that our Government get all excited about mean nothing…Most of these other ills are just side lines of the unemployment issue. If everybody was working, there wouldent be all these others… Yet with all the honest effort, and all planning, and all the money that’s been spent along various schemes, unemployment has held its own if not increased.” WA #638, March 17, 1935

“There is not a man in the country that can’t make a living for himself and family. But, he can’t make a living for them and his government, too, the way his government is living. What the government has got to do is live as cheap as the people.” DT #1990, Dec. 20, 1932

“Funniest thing in this controversy over a bill to regulate Wall Street; Wall Street now wants to write their own bill. They are pleading guilty, but want the privilege of pronouncing their own sentence.” DT #2386, March 27, 1934

Weekly Comments: A $3.5 Trillion budget, and no Paul Harvey to explain it

COLUMBUS: This country was sure glad to see February end. Bad news all around. President Obama told Congress the economy is in the dumps and what the country needs is “shared sacrifice.” He wants the top taxpayers to sacrifice, and the other 95% to get their share. Then he announced that next year he wants the government to spend $3.5 Trillion. He didn’t say where the money is coming from, but it’s about a third more than they took in last year. Those of us among the 95% expecting a payment, don’t bother putting it in your pocket; it’s going right back to Washington.

Now, I’ve been working with you folks a few months, trying to get a handle on exactly how much is a Trillion. The way I figure it, if Adam and Eve had each started spending $100 an hour, and kept at it until today, they still would not have reached $3 Trillion. Yet, our president is confident that 565 Senators and Congressmen, with the help of a few million federal employees and 150 million who don’t pay income taxes, can go through $3.5 Trillion in only 365 days!

The stock market losses for the month of February were the worst since 1933, mainly because of Citibank and other big banks. Of course in March 1933, Mr. Roosevelt took over and the first thing he did was close all the banks. Gave ’em a holiday. In March 2009, Mr. Obama, instead of closing these banks, wants to give ’em $350 Billion.

General Motors had a rough month. They say they need another $16 Billion, or $59,990 for every car sold in February. AIG asked for $30 Billion more so their executives can go to a Honolulu resort. They haven’t been there since January.

Perhaps the most lasting (bad) news of the month is the passing of a fellow Oklahoma radio man, Paul Harvey. He started on a Tulsa radio station in 1933, at age 15, and he kept at it for 75 glorious years. Listeners of 1200 radio stations will sorely miss his voice of reason and optimism.

Historic quotes from Will Rogers:

“I have heard every kind of reason given for our hard times and as causes of our slow recovery… The banks all failed because the interest people owed ’em was larger than the principal. What would be the matter with banking on a real percentage of business? The banker receives interest in accordance to what the borrower makes on the loan. If he don’t make anything, he don’t pay anything.
Well, that’s about all for today. Be busy tomorrow reading telegrams from bankers.” DT #1975, Dec. 2, 1932

“(Roosevelt) was inaugurated at noon in Washington, and they started the inaugural parade down Pennsylvania Avenue, and before it got half way down there, he’d closed every bank in the United States. Now a Republican woulda never thought of a thing like that. No, he’d of let the depositors close it. And mind you, Mr. Roosevelt was just two days ahead of the depositors himself.” Radio broadcast, April 30, 1933

Weekly Comments: Congress vacations while President multiplies and divides

COLUMBUS: Congress is on vacation. Passing the big stimulus exhausted ’em, so they left town to rest up before returning for another crack at saving the country.

Most of these Congressmen and Senators went home to face the voters. Democrats explained why they are for the stimulus, but confessed they don’t know when the money will show up. Republicans confessed they voted against it, but are willing to claim credit for any dollars coming to their district.

Speaker Nancy Pelosi didn’t go home. She flew directly to Rome to see the Pope. While others did their confessing locally, but she went straight to the top.

With Congress out of town, Governors and Mayors converged on the White House to see how much of the loot they could carry home. Arnold Swartzenegger camped out at the gate to be first in line. President Obama has promised to give to each according to need, but they must spend it wisely. Arnold said after California gets all they need, what’s left for the other 49 won’t buy ’em bus tickets home.

President Obama announced that he aims to cut the deficit in half by 2012. Asked how he planned to accomplish that, he said, “First, compared to a couple of years ago, we’re going to double it. Then cutting it in half won’t seem so tough.” He thanked President Bush for helping him with the doubling, and now he’s looking to sign up folks to help with the halving.

The big banks are, well, they aren’t as big as you might think. If you bank with Citibank or Bank of America, odds are your account in the bank is worth more than the total stock value of the bank.

All these banks got billions from the government, but they don’t want to lend it. Even if they’re willing to lend, nobody wants to borrow. We’re learning how to make do with what we got, fix it up, repair it ourselves, or get along without. It was almost a lost art here, but we learn fast when the need arises. Why, the next round of loan requests will likely come this spring from folks to buy seed and fertilizer to grow their own vegetable gardens.

Historic quotes from Will Rogers:

“I see where Jesse Jones and his R.F.C. (Redistribution Finance Corporation) are not satisfied with the way the banks are just sitting counting their money. So to make the banks ashamed of themselves the R.F.C. is going to make loans to industries. The banks will be so humiliated that they will be the first ones to borrow all that Jesse has. Jesse, you’ve been a banker yourself; you ought to know you can’t shame a banker, especially a big one.” DT #2301, Dec. 18, 1933

“Everybody is saying that the trouble with the country is that people are saving instead of spending… Since when did saving become a national calamity? Spending when we didn’t have it puts us where we are today. Saving when we have got it will get us back to where we was before we went cuckoo.” DT #1353, Nov. 24, 1930

One stimulus down, two more to go?

COLUMBUS: Congress passed the economic stimulus bill. They said the total is $780,000,000,000, but nobody has read it, so that’s just a rough idea. The President is going to Denver Tuesday to sign it. It’s the highest bill ever passed by a legislative body so it deserves to be signed in the highest city.

But really, where the President ought to sign it is on Pike’s Peak because he said this stimulus bill is only “one leg of the stool.” Now in my younger days I spent a good deal of time sitting on one of those 3-legged stools, milking cows. And if Mr. Obama ever milked a cow, he knows those 3 legs are the same height. So, if you feel like $780 Billion will be hard to pay for, the next two for $1.56 Trillion will milk you dry. Maybe he can arrange to sign those bills on Mount Everest.

The President says this bill will result in 4 million jobs (or is it 12 million). I don’t know exactly what he’ll do with 4 million jobs, even if they do show up. He’s already got two that he can’t fill. He’s running short of applicants willing to fess up and pay their back taxes.

A Commerce Secretary shouldn’t be hard to find. If you belong to your local Chamber, and your dues are paid up, send ’em a resume.

For Secretary of Health and Human Services he needs someone who is fit and trim, has experience heading up a big outfit, and operates under a huge deficit. Nobody meets those qualifications better than California Governor Schwarzenegger.

Outside of California, Wall Street is the best training you can get for a federal government job. See, you work for an outfit that loses Billions, and they give you an award. On Wall Street that means a million dollar bonus. In Washington it means they re-elect you.

Historic quotes from Will Rogers (on Lincoln and Washington):

“Lincoln’s speech (was) only about three hundred words long, and the plainest words. There’s not a child, or even a comedian, that can’t understand it. Well, President Hoover got flowery, all long words. Honest, Lincoln just as well not made his speech as far as it has had any effect on other speakers. He left it as an example, but no one ever followed it.” WA #531, Feb. 26, 1933

“Papers today say, “What would Lincoln do today?” Well, in the first place, he wouldn’t chop any wood. He would trade his axe in on a Ford. Being a Republican he would vote the Democratic ticket. Being in sympathy for the underdog he would be classed as a radical progressive. Having a sense of humor he would be called eccentric.” DT #2349, Feb. 12, 1934

“Our Public men keep Washington’s and Lincoln’s birthdays alive, just so they can deliver addresses… They learn ’em so they can deliver ’em backwards, sideways, or perpindicular. There has been more great ideas blamed on Washington and Lincoln than they could have possibly thought of during their lifetime, even if they had thought of nothing but great ideas all the time.” WA #320, Feb. 10, 1929

Folks,

Accomplished actor James Whitmore died Friday. Among all his other great talents, for about 30 years he did a one-man show as Will Rogers. I met him once at Claremore. Here’s a photo of him on this website: http://willrogerstoday.com/photo_gallery/WillRogersTodayandFriends.cfm#9

Weekly Comments: Let schoolchildren and China weigh in on stimulus

COLUMBUS: Congress and the President are close to a compromise on the big spending bill. Everybody agrees it’s a spending bill; the argument is over who gets to do the spending. Democrats say that since they won the election, they should be the ones to play Santa Claus. Republicans say, “No, let the taxpayers hand out the presents.”

Some Democrats even insisted that all the money the government will spend on products like steel or cars can only be spent on American products. That sounded fair, until word reached China. Then the whole plan fell off the cliff. Congress forgot to ask where’s the money coming from. Well, the money is coming from those that have got it. That means China, because we sent all our money over there, mostly by way of Wal-Mart. So China says, since we’re providing the money, we want a fair chance to provide the steel, copper, computers and other goods.

Now if you’re going to listen to the ones lending the dough, how about the ones that will eventually have to pay it back. I say arrange it so all our school children can give an opinion on the plan. After all, when you add up what this stimulus bill will cost them over the next fifty years, they had better get well trained to earn big salaries.

Of course our children and grandchildren may vote no on this tremendous financial burden. No stimulus, no more debt to pay back in the future. And if having no stimulus money means school has to be cut short by a month or two, why, that’s a sacrifice we’re willing to make.

 

One good idea that will stay in the bill is more payments for folks out of work. I propose that if you are laid off or your hours were cut, to collect the benefits you have to show up and keep working. Many of these job cuts were practically forced on employers, not because there was no work, but because they had no money to pay with. If nothing else, go to work and take along a mop or paint brush or snow shovel. There’s bound to be something to work on that’ll keep you in the habit.

I’m not so sure about President Obama’s plan to limit salaries to $500,000 for anybody getting this government money. And Congressman Barney Frank went farther and wants it applied to almost everybody. Even baseball players, Hollywood actors, and college presidents. He did not include lobbyists and former Congressmen because that would be meddling.

 

Historic quotes from Will Rogers:

“People that pay for things never complain. It’s the guy you give something to that you can’t please.” WA #160, 1926

“The budget is a mythical bean bag. Congress votes mythical beans into it, and then tries to reach in and pull real beans out.” DT #2047, Feb. 24, 1933

“The only problem that confronts this country today is at least seven million people are out of work. That’s our only problem. There is no other one before us at all. It’s to see that every man that wants to is able to work…. These people that you are asked to aid, why they are not asking for charity, they are naturally asking for a job. But if you can’t give them a job why the next best thing you can do is see that they have food and the necessities of life.” Special radio broadcast, with President Hoover, Oct. 18, 1931

Will and Senator Coburn offer Stimulus ideas

COLUMBUS: Senator Tom Coburn of Oklahoma had the quote of the year on the Stimulus bill,”We shouldn’t be spending money we don’t have on things we don’t need.”

I’m surprised every Democrat in the Senate didn’t jump up and yell, “But that’s what our entire economy is built on!!” Only spend money we have on things we need? Why, that’s blasphemous. If Americans behave in such a foolhardy and reckless manner this year, the economy will tank. The 1930s would look like an economic boom time by comparison.
Here’s just one of the wacky ideas in that $800 Billion dollar Stimulus bill. They want to spend $10 Million to plant grass on the Washington Mall, you know, where they held the Inauguration. I bet Tom would agree with this money saving plan instead: give a farmer one Million dollars and let him plant corn on it. Why, he would plant corn all the way to the Lincoln Memorial and around the White House. With a million dollars he could afford to fertilize and go after a bumper crop. He would spray Round-Up, just like you do on the cracks in your driveway, to get rid of weeds. On hot, dry July days he could irrigate out of the Reflecting Pool.

Because farmers are used to working on shares, at harvest time he would give half the profits to the government. Can you imagine getting half the profits back from those sod layers? What a chance.

Let’s give the Federal government credit where it’s due. They stumbled on a new plan to get tax cheats to pay up. Local police have been using a similar plan for years to get known criminals off the street. They send ’em a letter announcing they have just won a $200 prize, and to come to a certain address to pick up the cash. When they show up, they arrest ’em. Well, I bet the IRS knows of at least a half million who have skipped out on taxes, so all the government has to do is send ’em a letter announcing their appointment to a certain Cabinet position. You may say it’s silly, and no one would fall for a such a trick. Well, they already caught two of ’em. If it works on the rest, Obama could collect enough to balance the budget.

The Pittsburgh Steelers won another Super Bowl, their sixth, over the Arizona Cardinals, who had never been in one before. I was pulling for the underdog because nobody in Ohio likes the Steelers. They always beat up on Cleveland and Cincinnati. The irony is that it was players from Ohio that made the big plays to win the game.

Historic quotes from Will Rogers:

“The Townsend Plan [to give a pension to old folks] went down in Congress, so it looks like a kind of a bad day for plans. I believe if Townsend had lowered his sights and called for maybe $50 instead of $200 a month, and took out the clause where they had to spend it. Old people, you know, are naturally kind of conservative, and saving, and they would’ve hated to spend money every week if they really didn’t need to. Our government is the only people that just loves to spend without being compelled to at all. But the government is the only people that don’t have to worry where it’s coming from.” Radio, April 21, 1935

Welcome President Obama, to America 2009

COLUMBUS: For any of you planning to do your income taxes on TurboTax, I’ve got disappointing news. Despite what you heard last week from the Congressional hearing, Turbo Tax has no such thing as a Geithner Tax Credit. So if you’re wanting to hold back $32,000 from taxes owed, you’ll just have to make up your own deduction, that’s all. Of course if Mr. Geithner gets confirmed as Treasury Secretary, maybe next year they’ll add it.

Gov. Blagojevich, who will soon be impeached, convicted and jailed, went on the news and said he’s like an “innocent cowboy about to be hung for horse stealing.” Well, when you grow up on a ranch in Indian Territory (Oklahoma), you get to know a lot of cowboys, some of them innocent. And their language at times could get a bit colorful, like when a rogue steer broke loose from the herd. But I never ever met one so low down he ever tried to sell a Senate seat.

I’m not happy with all these national TV shows inviting Blagojevich to appear. Here’s a better example of how to treat someone of that kind: “Two weeks ago I had two hours with Al Capone. But there was absolutely no way I could write it [in my column] and not make a hero out of him… What’s the matter with an age when our biggest gangster is our greatest national interest.” (Will Rogers, March 11, 1932)

Did you attend the Inauguration of President Obama? About a million and a half crowded onto the Capitol grounds, although Speaker Nancy Pelosi said on television Sunday she counted two million. You just wait, by the end of the year, at least five million will claim they attended. Personally, I was in Columbus, Ohio, looking East. The only thing blocking my view of the Capitol was a wide-screen TV.

President Obama is a fast worker. He immediately tackled the number one problem concerning the American people today: closing Gitmo. He’s so fast he closed it without figuring out where to send the terrorists. With no money to build a new prison, choices are limited. Maybe send them to Joliet with Blagojevich, or Senator Reid can house them underground in Nevada with the nuclear waste, or split ’em up and let them move in with members of the ACLU. Nobody else wants them.

Frankly, I think the best option is Magic. Go down there, paint it pink, move the entrance to the other side and change the name from Gitmo to Paradise Royal Princess Resort. Announce to the world the terrorists are now housed on a lovely Carribean Island at Paradise Royal Princess Resort. Everyone will be thrilled. And for any news hounds and lawyers you take down there, if you blindfold them and fly in circles for awhile, no one will ever know.

In New York, Caroline Kennedy changed her mind. Instead of joining the Senate, she decided to join Toastmasters. After a year or two of going to those club meetings, she’ll know how to talk without uhs and ums and you knows. She will become an expert at giving a short, clear, organized talk that’s understandable only one way, a skill that will disqualify her from ever being a Senator.

Historic quotes from Will Rogers:

“We are a funny people. We elect our Presidents, be they Republican or Democrat, then go home and start daring ’em to make good.” DT #2700, April 1, 1935

“Mr. Roosevelt stepped to the microphone last night. His message was not only a great comfort to the people, but it pointed a lesson to all radio announcers and public speakers what to do with a big vocabulary: leave it at home in the dictionary. Some people spend a lifetime juggling with words, with not an idea in a carload.” DT #2061, March 13, 1933

Weekly Comments: Will likes new Treasury plan

COLUMBUS: This historic week we celebrate the life of Martin Luther King on Monday, then at noon Tuesday we inaugurate Barack Obama, kind of a product of Dr. King’s influence.

No inauguration has been more anticipated, at least since 1933. And no President since Franklin Roosevelt has arrived with more problems piled on his plate.

Our new President has brought in experienced hands to run the government. Only one having any difficulty with Congress is Tim Geitner. Everybody in Washington and on Wall Street says he’s got to be the Treasury Secretary because he is the only man in America that understands how the economy works today. I’m not sure that’s right, but if it is, they should change the economy back the way is was when us common folk could understand it.

Now I’ve got to admit I kinda like Tim Geitner’s plan to stimulate the economy. See, if we follow his example, you keep all the taxes you would normally pay in 2009 and 2010, and then pay ’em in a lump sum in November 2012. But you only pay ’em then if you get offered a big government job. The Geitner Plan ain’t as complicated as the one Congress is arguing over, but it’ll work faster and eliminates overhead.

I spent a few days last week with 800 farmers in Indianapolis. You might remember that a year ago these same farmers voted in the “National No-Till Farmer Presidential Primary”. Barack Obama won for the Democrats and Mike Huckabee for the Republicans (McCain was second). Look at the millions of dollars saved if the country had accepted those results and jumped right to the general election. Well, this year those farmers learned about Fertilizer, mainly how to get by with less by using it in the right place at the right time. You still produce the same crops, but at lower cost. Now if we could do the same with politics, maybe we could get out of this financial rut and back on solid ground.

America got another hero last Thursday. Sully Sullenberger showed us how to land a plane on water without the benefit of pontoons. The Airbus folks deserve credit for designing and building a plane that held together. Next they gotta figure out how to add a safety device that’ll knock those wild geese out of the way, like a cow catcher on a locomotive.

Historic quotes from Will Rogers:

“Just been prowling around with the farmers. They have about given up hope of getting farm relief and have decided to fertilize instead.” DT 3494, Feb. 26, 1928

“America hasn’t been as happy in three years as they are today [Inauguration Day]. No money, no banks, no work, no nothing, but they know they got a man in there who is wise to Congress, wise to our big bankers and wise to our so-called big men. The whole country is with him. Even if what he does is wrong they are with him. Just so he does something.” DT #2054, March 5, 1933

“It’s news if you can get anything out of the government, but if the government gets anything out of you, that ain’t news, that’s just a habit.” DT #2076, March 30, 1933