Author: Randall Reeder

My campaign strategy of going after the dissatisfied of both parties failed me. Instead of voting for Will Rogers, they voted for Donald Trump. I was counting on the write-in votes of the big block of voters who couldn’t write. Yeah, that’s a head scratcher.

Like most of America (and the world) I was prepared for Hillary Clinton to be elected Tuesday. I was anticipating a smooth and easy transition from Obama to Clinton on January 20, with minimal change in policy. But late Tuesday night and into Wednesday morning, the shock wave rolled slowly across the country. When the Pennsylvania vote totals finally came in at 3:00 a.m., the Clinton faithful were sent home, weeping.

They weren’t the only ones weeping. Pollsters, newspapers, TV networks and a whole slew of others absolutely guaranteed that Clinton would win. Most thought Democrats would take the Senate and come close in the House.

On college campuses across the country, especially in the Ivy League, pampered students required counseling and protected spaces to overcome their grief at losing. They have no experience at losing. No student ever gets less that a B and winless soccer teams get trophies. Grieving girls were given diaper pins to attach to their shirt so other terrified girls could identify a shoulder to cry on. This may sound like I’m blaming the students, but most of the fault belongs with overly protective parents and liberal-leaning professors.

Clinton’s supporters blame the loss on country folks who only voted for Trump because they aren’t smart enough to understand what they are giving up. I think most of those folks from rural counties, whether they live on a farm or in town would agree with my comment in 1924: “I’m just an old country boy in a big town trying to get along. I’ve been eating pretty regular, and the reason I have been is because I stayed an old country boy.”

Here’s another one from 1933: “Well, the ‘hillbillies’ beat the ‘dudes.'” (OK, this referred to a polo match, but it sure fits this election.)

While it is easy to credit the rural and other “blue collar” folks for the Trump victory, Mrs. Clinton got 5 million fewer votes than President Obama in 2012. She still won the popular vote, barely, but those five million who abandoned her were in key states such as Pennsylvania, Ohio and Michigan where hard work, common sense and fossil fuels are admired, not ridiculed.

In her concession speech Secretary Clinton was gracious in defeat, and in his response Trump complimented her for her many years of tireless service to the country. Kinda like football teams that battle to the final whistle, then the players and coaches exchange handshakes and hugs, we all need to accept the result and look forward to the next “game” in 2018 and 2020.

Historic quotes from the Will Rogers campaign, 1928:

“It has been brought very forcibly to my notice that they would not let my name be placed on the ticket, and people could not make a mark after it. Of course I got a few votes from the ones who could write the name in. But my big vote was supposed to come from those who couldn’t write. I have found them to be the best Citizens in America. Give me the friendship and loyalty of the man that can’t read or write.

I am not saying yet what I will do in (the next election), but it looks like we ought to combine the Anti-Bunks with the Democrats.

I am not going to send any more thanks to my supporters, for there is enough people in this Country now trying to live on Thanks. In fact that’s about all the Farmers will have to live on for the next four years.

We went into this campaign to drive the Bunk out of politics, but our experiment, while noble in motive, was a failure. I was the only Candidate that ever promised to resign, and I guess I’m the only Candidate that ever made good on that or any other promise. Well, anyway, here is Goodbye and Good Luck, from the only cheerful Loser in the race.”

The Will Rogers for President Campaign is surging ahead. I’ll remind voters that Will is the candidate of the Anti-Bunk Party while the Democrats and Republicans are totally dependent on Bunk. Will Rogers never deleted an email, been charged with sexual assault, or investigated by the FBI.

Meanwhile, Hillary Clinton has had the FBI nipping at her heels for months.

Back in January I wrote that the Republican nominee would be decided by upcoming primaries and caucuses, and the Democrat nominee by FBI indictments: “(Clinton’s) future depends on the vote of one person, and only one: the FBI Director.” And in April: “She is leading Bernie Sanders, but political observers say her biggest challenge to the nomination is the ‘Comey Caucus.’”

On June 12, after Clinton wrapped up the nomination I wrote, “A few pundits pointed out she is the first nominee to be under FBI investigation. Of course, she is not the only Presidential nominee who should have been investigated.”

On July 10, after the Fourth of July weekend interrogation, I wrote, “After siting a few cases of Clinton lying, the FBI Director then let her off the hook… The FBI Director essentially announced, ‘She is not guilty by reason of temporary stupidity.’”

On September 4, I made a prediction, but was off by a month, “My guess is the next bombshell from the FBI will be released on Thanksgiving Friday. Yes, after she’s been elected and everyone is at the Mall.”

So here she is, a week before Election Day. You probably heard this statement: “Voters deserve to get full and complete facts.” Ironically, this was not said by the FBI Director or Donald Trump. No, it was stated boldly by the person who has the full and complete facts in her possession, Hillary Clinton. Her goal ever since setting up a personal email server in 2009 has been to hide the full and complete facts from the voters. She and her assistant Huma Abedin and Anthony Weiner could release immediately every email and other information on their computers.  Well, some of Weiner’s files we really don’t want to see.

Ironically, politicians who were against FBI Director Comey in July are for him, and ones for him then are against him now.

I’ve always admitted, “I’m not a member of any organized political party… I’m a Democrat.” So, if worse comes to worse and Clinton drops out, I’m willing to sacrifice, take my Anti-Bunk platform over to the Democrat Party, and fill the vacancy. The Will Rogers/Tim Kaine team will absolutely commit, over the next four years, to clean up the mess. Actually I would prefer my own Vice-President (pick one: Scott McKain, John Meluso, or John Geenen), but Kaine and I can raise enough Cain in Washington to make ‘em look forward to 2020.

Historic Will Rogers quotes:

“It’s been great to have been in the race and be the only one that did not get mixed up in any of the scandals of it.”

“In spite of all this awful opposition, we still control the GREAT SILENT VOTE, which is beyond the reach of our (opponents). It includes all those who vote without bragging about it.”

Note: Will Rogers wife, Betty Blake Rogers, children, and all family members have agreed to this dramatic move, as long as the whole crew gets to live for free in the White House the next 4 years.Will Rogers horses and a dog can live out back, in a pole barn we’ll construct where Mrs. Obama’s million dollar garden is now.

I read today that a certain group of people voted as follows several years ago: 94% for Lyndon Johnson in 1964, 81% for George McGovern in 1972, and 81% for Jimmy Carter in 1976. And this year more than 95% of contributions from this same group have gone to Hillary Clinton.

Who are these voters? If you guessed union leaders or members, well, you would be wrong. You could guess ten times and probably still not get it. The answer is… journalists. Yes, the TV and newspaper reporters we trust to provide the rest of us with hard news, facts, unbiased information.

In the final Presidential debate one of the six topics was foreign policy. Do you remember the big headline the next day about Hillary Clinton’s detailed answer concerning how huge foreign contributions to the Clinton Foundation influenced her decisions as Secretary of State? Probably not, because she avoided answering. The actual big headlines were about a Trump comment that had nothing to do with the six topics.

Secretary Clinton will probably win because she has made Donald Trump the issue. He keeps interfering with his own message with extraneous comments. He went to historic Gettysburg to announce ten things he would do quickly as President. But he began his address with extraneous comments about a lawsuit and the journalists left before he got to Point #1.  Suppose Abraham Lincoln had started his famous address with “Before I begin, I want you folks to know that I hate the way you are treating my wife Mary. It’s disgusting. Now, four score and seven years ago….”

Speaking of history, the Chicago Cubs will play the Cleveland Indians in the World Series. It’s historic because no one under 70 remembers when either team won a Series. Having the World Series so late in October will create a quandary for candidates. As Will Rogers wrote in October 1928, “My idea of the height of conceit would be a political speaker that would go on the air when the World Series is on.”

My Will Rogers for President Campaign will wind up in Oklahoma just before Election Day. Despite the absence of attention from journalists I still have hope. If Evan McMillan can win Utah, Will Rogers can surely win Oklahoma. (go to WillRogersForPresident.com for Blogs, Photos, V-P candidates and Shopping)

Historic quotes from 1928:

The entire political world has been lined up solidly against us. The Anti-Bunk Party has had to fight against overwhelming odds all through this campaign. The Republicans and Democrats have combined to suppress us, and to prevent our great message from reaching the voters. Will Rogers’ name has been kept off the ballot.

Bunk is the supreme commodity, in which both of their parties must deal. If we eliminate Bunk, we would deprive them of the sole excuse for their existence.

Furthermore, our (opponents) have received secret support from political parties in foreign countries, including Russia.  Europe has been watching this campaign closely, and the politicians over there view with alarm the Anti-Bunk activities in the U.S. They don’t want the idea to spread to their countries.

“The less a voter knows about you, the longer he is liable to vote for you.”

“In this country people don’t vote for, they vote against.”

The third and final Presidential debate is this week. Chris Wallace will be the Moderator and he selected these six topics: immigration, debt and entitlements, the economy, foreign hot spots, the candidates’ fitness to be president, and the Supreme Court.

Now I don’t claim to have any great connection with Mr. Wallace, but he selected four of the six topics I suggested a month ago: Illegal immigrants (amnesty, citizenship, deportation); Federal debt ($19 Trillion and rising); Economy (jobs, tax rates); and Foreign policy.  My other two were: National security (handling classified information, Muslim refugees from terrorist countries); and Farm policy. His topic of “fitness to be President” certainly includes my topic of handling classified information and managing Muslim refugees. I like his sixth topic (Supreme Court) compared to mine (Farm policy) and I think most farmers and ranchers would agree those Justices could have more impact on their business in their lifetimes than a single president.

Can Chris Wallace keep Trump and Clinton focused on these topics? And get them to answer honestly? Good luck. Trump has learned how to pivot away from a question to whatever he wanted to say in the first place.  And if Clinton’s answers last week, under oath, to questions from Judicial Watch are any indication, she will respond to three-fourths of the debate questions with “I don’t recall.”  So in this debate, we have narrowed the field to a candidate who claims he knows more than anyone else, and one who claims she doesn’t know much of anything.

The Will Rogers for President Campaign is laying it all on the line. Here’s my knockout punch, and I can only hope that neither Trump nor Clinton steals it, because they would win in a landslide: “IF ELECTED I ABSOLUTELY AND POSITIVELY AGREE TO RESIGN. That’s my only Campaign pledge: ELECT ROGERS AND HE WILL RESIGN.”         (WillRogersForPresident.com)

Historic quotes by Will Rogers:

“I think you will find that Campaigns have ruined more men than they ever made.”

“Half of each Party is not crazy about their Candidate.”  

Will Rogers in 1928 [2016]: “The Republicans don’t want Hoover [Trump], and the Democrats don’t want Smith [Clinton]. To get right down to brass tacks, both Hoover [Trump] and Smith [Clinton] had the poorest opposition that ever faced any Candidates in the history of nominations. They just won because there was just nobody else in the race on either side that could give a sure guarantee that they could carry their own precinct, much less their State.”

“If all the charges that’s been made in regard to both Candidates were layed end to end, it would take ’em over two hours to pass a given point.”

“If all the ‘Denials’ were heaped in a pile, Lindbergh couldn’t fly over ’em.  You know it’s a funny thing about a denial. It takes twice as many words to deny it as it did to make it.”    

Whoa! Dueling scandals are ripping the heart out of the election. Donald Trump is caught making crude, disgusting sexual comments 11 years ago. Hillary Clinton is caught privately praising big bankers and “open borders” a few years ago, which is opposite to her campaign statements.

In the debate both issues were questioned, but they seemed to spend more time on Trump’s crude sex comments than on Clinton’s leaked speech quotes to Wall Street bankers. Clinton did get hit hard on her deleting and bleaching 33,000 emails after a subpoena from Congress. Trump said if he is elected, Clinton will be prosecuted and sent to jail. Of course that assumes President Obama doesn’t pardon her before he leaves office.

The debate ended on a nice note. Hillary praised the Trump children and Donald praised her for perseverance as a fighter in a long career in public life.

While Trump has lost support of several prominent Republicans, Will Rogers still has long list of endorsers. Look at these strong supporters: Henry Ford, Judge Ben B. Lindsey, Helen Keller, Gen. Billy Mitchell, Harold Lloyd, Babe Ruth, Ring Lardner, William Allen White, Rev. Francis J. Duffy, Charles Dana Gibson, Glenn H. Curtiss and Grantland Rice.

If you recognize all these folks, you’ll understand why my main constituents — the group I can count on almost unanimously — are people over 80. And these folks vote! Yes, we may have to help a few of ‘em get to the polls.

Historic quotes about Will Rogers’ campaign:

Endorsement by Judge Ben B. Lindsey: “Will Rogers is an American.  Equipped as he is with a generous supply of genuine Indian blood, he’s a lot closer to 100% American than are most of the people who brag about it.

In the second place, Will Rogers is a humorist. If elected, he would be the first President (since Lincoln) who was funny intentionally. Will Rogers will make the people laugh. But what is more important, he will make them think.

Will Rogers has had wider experience than any man that has ever run for any office.  He has been mixed up in politics: he has served as Mayor of Beverly Hills; he has been designated ‘Congressman-at-Large;’ and he holds the commission of Colonel in Kentucky. Will Rogers has seen something of the world.  He knows more about our foreign relations than do all the members of the Senatorial Foreign Relations Committee.  He was famous as an Ambassador of Good Will when Charles Lindbergh was still toting mail between St. Louis and Chicago.

Endorsement by Helen Keller: “If I had my choice, I would nominate Will Rogers.  He would think of so many nice things to do. The whole country would be full of laughter, and laughter is good for people.”

Endorsement by Henry Ford: “The joke of Will Rogers’ candidacy for President is that it is no joke. It is a serious attempt to restore American common sense to American politics. American wisdom has always been marked by a humorous slant. In our best days as a nation we were always able to slap our biggest problems familiarly on the back, and we need someone who can bring us back to that attitude of easy mastery. Will Rogers can do it.  He will be a terror to hypocrites. His humor will wash away whole mountains of nonsense and sham. Great things could be accomplished by a President Rogers, not the least of which will be the restoration of popular interest in national problems.”

We learned this week that Wells Fargo should have stayed in the stagecoach business. It may be easy to create a million fake bank accounts, but much harder to claim that 15 bought tickets on a stagecoach built for 8.

And Congress voted to give our trial lawyers free rein to sue Saudi Arabia. Common sense tells us the Saudis should have written a million dollar check to each family of the 3000 who died on Sept. 11, 2001. And save the one-third they’ll have to pay the lawyers.

While I’m gearing up to go after the farmer’s vote, Trump and Clinton are busy debating each other. As near as I can tell, none of them even mentioned farmers or ranchers.

Is there anything more important than food? Sure, air and water are essential. And some of you may list beer, smart phones, and football. But if you wiped out the one percent of our population that produces the bulk of our food supply, the other 99 percent would have to learn in a hurry how to grow a garden and raise a hog and some chickens.

So I hope the candidates will stop talking about sex scandals, bankruptcies, and overweight beauty queens of 20 or 30 years ago. Instead tell us how your policies will help farmers raise a family on $3 corn and $1 milk. Of course, we export boatloads of grain and other farm products (that’s good) but we are essentially exporting water and topsoil (that’s bad). Can we have a policy that continues to provide for a well-fed population, and long-term prosperity on the farm?

I’m sticking with the same Platform planks I announced in 1928. And like all other political platforms, you’ll see some conflicts and ambiguous planks.

Historic quotes by Will Rogers:

          “This brings us to ‘Farm Relief.’ Both Parties will spend pages of planks on promised “Relief.” Well I will not only give the farmer “relief”, I will cure him.  Who but a Farmer would ask for “relief” for his troubles? Everybody else would want a “Cure,” so while he didn’t know enough to ask for, or perhaps didn’t dare expect as much as a cure, why I am the fellow that will give it to him. I not only will relieve him, but I absolutely will cure him; cure him of being a farmer. I will make him so discouraged with life that he will have to open a Filling Station. There he can sit and watch the rest of the World go by.

We make our platform as we go. If we get to a State where the farmers want relief, why we just stop and sell their farms for ‘em, and give ‘em relief. If we get to a place where the people claim they want lower taxes, why we have ‘em sell their property and put the money in “Tax Exempt” bonds just like the rich.  You see we are meeting the conditions as they come. If somebody wants flood relief, we move ‘em to higher ground.  If somebody wants a Dam built in their section, why we let ‘em do it through a “Building and Loan.”  Now our platform isn’t finished yet.  Anybody who can give us ten votes can have a plank of his own in the Platform.

We want every part of the Country to do what they want to do, regardless of some other part.

I am the only Candidate that is running on either side that has ever looked a Mule in the face, or otherwise, down a corn row. I didn’t learn the farmers’ problem after I was nominated. I paid taxes on a farm since I was eighteen years old and almost had to be an Engineer and a Politician both to get enough to pay the taxes.

I know what the farmer needs, but I can’t give it to him. But I am going to tell him before election that I can’t give it to him, and not afterwards.

A vote for me means you will be disappointed earlier than you will if you vote for either of the other two.

I can tell you in a few words what the Farmer needs. He needs a punch in the jaw if he believes that either one of the parties cares a dam about him after election! That’s all the Farmer needs, and that’s all he’ll get.”

Hillary Clinton has not agreed to debate me, but she has been researching me. She announced a bigger and better inheritance tax on huge estates, such as the Koch Brothers, George Soros, Warren Buffet and the Walton family. Well, I elaborated on such a Democrat plan back in 1935, and she seems to love it. (Read the Historic quote below)

Clinton had already said she wanted to hike the inheritance tax from about 30% up to 45%. This week she raised it again, saying, for some wealthy folks, the government should get 2/3 of everything a billionaire tries to leave the heirs.

At first I thought maybe she would put this new found money to good use by balancing the budget. But no, she wants it to pay for even more government spending, and the debt will keep rising.

Suppose a man, or a woman, owns a billion dollar oil refinery. If the person dies while Hillary Clinton is president she’ll be the one at the funeral smiling. Instead of the family continuing to operate the business successfully, paying good wages and corporate taxes, the government takes ownership of two-thirds of the business. Knowing her disdain for fossil fuels, she would shut it down and try to persuade the laid off employees to find a job installing solar panels. The local economy will be devastated. And what can the heirs do with one-third of a shuttered refinery?

Of course Donald Trump and the Republicans want to eliminate what they call the “death tax.” Now, I can see why the government has a legitimate claim on a small part of an estate. As I wrote in 1926, “If a Country is good enough to pay taxes to while you are living, it’s good enough to pay in after you die. By the time you die you should be so used to paying taxes that it would just be almost second nature to you.”

Historic quote by Will Rogers: [On a radio broadcast in 1935, Will talked about a proposal by a major Democrat official, who I’ll call Mr. M.]

“He came out with a plan to put a bigger tax on these big estates, an inheritance tax. On an estate of say $10 million, why the government will take about 90 percent of it, and then give the off-spring 10. And then on estates of 100 million, 200 million, a billion and like that, well, the government just takes all of it and notifies the heirs, saying, ‘Your father died a pauper here today. And he’s being buried by the Millionaire’s Emergency Burial Association.’

Now mind you, I don’t hold any great grief for a man that dies and leaves millions and billions. I don’t mean that. But I don’t believe Mr. M’s plan will work, because he gives figures that show what this new inheritance tax would bring in every year. He says in 1936 we get so much, in 1938, and so on. That is, as long as the Democrats stay in.

He seems to know just who’s going to die each year. And how much they’re going to leave. Now, brother, that’s planning!

According to plans, J. P. Morgan has got to die in order for Mr. M. to reach his quota for that year. I think his patriotism might compare with some of the rest of us, but whether he’d be patriotic enough to want to die on this year’s schedule, just to make the budget balance —  I mean that’s asking a good deal of a man to just die right off just so I can balance my budget. He might be rather unreasonable and not want to do it.

So in order for Mr. M’s plan to work out a hundred percent he’s got to bump these wealthy guys off, or something. Well, now, the government’s doing everything else, but there is a humane society.” Radio broadcast, Apr. 28, 1935

The Presidential campaign has been dogged by the candidates’ refusal to be prompt, honest and transparent. Transparent is a word that means you can see right through ‘em. And most voters don’t like what they see.

Here are a few “if’s” that could have prevented a lot of arguments and saved millions of dollars.

If Obama had released full details about his birth in 2008 or sooner, there would be no such word as “birther.” If Trump had released a year ago his tax returns, or at least an accurate summary, no one would be raising a fuss about them. Of course, his income might be far less than he has claimed.

If Hillary Clinton had corrected her huge mistake of having classified emails on a private server shortly after beginning her term as Secretary of State, and then all four years of her official emails had been made available to Congressional committees, millions of dollars and years of investigation would have been avoided. Then we would have never heard the phrase, “At this point, what difference does it make?” nor learned how to bleach emails.

No one accepted my offer to debate, not even our minor party candidates. So I’m gonna sit between two empty chairs and pretend Trump and Clinton are sitting there. I’ll spring a couple of surprises. To Mr. Trump, I’ll quote from his “audited” income taxes and ask, “In 2012 did you actually only net $37,000 after taxes?” Then to Mrs. Clinton, I’ll read one of her “bleached” top secret emails, skipping the CIA agent’s name, and ask, “Would you like me to read any more of your 30,000 boring emails?” (You can read more about my “Anti-Bunk” campaign at: WillRogersForPresident.com)

The first debate next Monday will have six major topics, to be selected by the Moderator, Lester Holt. What should they be? How about these: Illegal immigrants (amnesty, citizenship, deportation); National security (handling classified information, Muslim refugees from terrorist countries); Economy (jobs, tax rates); Federal debt ($19 Trillion and rising); Foreign policy; and Farm policy.

Historic quotes by Will Rogers:      

“If you ever injected truth into politics, you would have no politics.”
“If there is one thing a politician hates worse than a recount, it’s somebody that is not in their business.”
“Our Anti-Bunk Party may not get many votes, but we got many a laugh coming. And we’ve got our conscience intact.”

This weekend there were many moving tributes remembering the victims on Sept. 11, 2001 of the horrific attack by Islamic terrorists, led by Osama bin Laden. Our military eventually took out bin Laden, but ISIS has taken over as the main radical Islamic terror group. And they continue to affect our daily lives in most parts of the world.

Back to politics, in a 1935 radio broadcast I referred to the Untouchables in India and to some of the snobbish stars in Hollywood, including Greta Garbo, as Unapproachables. Now, Secretary Clinton has added another word to the dictionary: Deplorables.

She claimed that half of Donald Trump’s followers are a “Basket of Deplorables.” That made Trump and his backers mad so she apologized by saying that actually only 45 percent of them are deplorable. She added the other half support Trump because “the government let them down, the economy let them down, and nobody cares.” And that made President Obama mad.

It turns out that Mrs. Clinton has pneumonia. She should be in a hospital for 3 or 4 days until it clears up, but don’t count on it. She will likely keep campaigning across the country.

Trump continues to praise Putin for his leadership accomplishments in Russia. He somehow ignores that Putin shot down a passenger plane over Ukraine, killed journalists and political opponents, took Crimea from Ukraine, and threatens other former parts of the USSR in Eastern Europe. Can’t Trump find another world “leader” to brag about?

The first Debate will be Sept. 26 and has Lester Holt of NBC as the moderator. But I think, considering the reputation of both candidates for lying and exaggerating, the man who should be the Moderator is the newscaster Holt replaced at NBC, Brian Williams. He told some whoppers, too. Have they ever considered having the candidates under oath, swearing to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth? That would be a refreshing debate. Boring maybe, but refreshing.

The Will Rogers for President Campaign is picking up steam, rolling along. Neither Trump nor Clinton has accepted my offer to debate, so I may have to challenge the Libertarian, Gov. Gary Johnson, or the Green Party candidate, Dr. Jill Stein.

As a reminder, I am the candidate of the “Anti-Bunk Party.” I am depending on the support of the Dissatisfied members of the Republican and Democrat parties, of which there appears to be a majority.

Historic quotes by Will Rogers: (from the 1928 campaign)

Our Platform will be: Whatever the other fellow don’t do, we will.  Now no man would want a broader, or more numerous planked platform than that.

Now a word to the Republican voters: We won’t be able to pay you anything for your votes, so that will naturally eliminate all Republican support. And as we can’t pay the Democrats, they will naturally, if they have to vote for nothing, stay with their own Party, for they have been voting for nothing for years.

Our support will have to come from those who want nothing, and have the assurance of getting it.

My next debate proposal is to give Hillary Clinton a practice session. I’m not optimistic she will come out of hiding to face me.

But really, she has all the advantages. She has a Yale Law degree and more than 30 years in government. I sneaked out of Kemper Military Academy in the middle of the night and my only time in politics was a short stint as Mayor of Beverly Hills.

When it comes to making money in farming and ranching, she’s got me beat. I learned, almost from the day I was born on a ranch at Oologah, about caring for beef cows and their calves, letting ‘em graze on big bluestem, then in a couple of years we would drive those fattened cattle to the railhead in Kansas City. But Mrs. Clinton learned how to buy cattle futures and almost overnight turn a thousand dollars into $100,000.

I was never ornery enough to attract attention of the FBI so I don’t know how I would come out of an encounter with them. But they seem to love Hillary Clinton. And they love holidays. They interrogated Secretary Clinton on Saturday of the July 4 holiday weekend (and on July 5 said she was extremely careless with top secret emails, but should not be prosecuted). Then late on Friday of Labor Day weekend they released their notes from that interview, with more damning information. My guess is the next bombshell from the FBI will be released on Thanksgiving Friday. Yes, after she’s been elected and everyone is at the Mall.

In our debate, I won’t ask her about anything that happened more than a couple of weeks ago. If I did, she would just say, ‘I don’t remember.’ If she desires, she can have her Blackberry on the lectern. Or 13 of ‘em. For my opening remarks, I’ll just read a couple of her deleted emails, even if they are boring.

Historic quote by Will Rogers: (This is Will Rogers’ debate challenge in 1928. As you read this, replace Al Smith with Hillary Clinton.)

“Gov. Al Smith: This is the open season for Debates, and I believe you and I could put on about as good a one as one of these others.  So I hereby challenge you the way I challenged the other fellow last week. Now the trouble with most Debates, they are confined to a subject.  Now we won’t let that worry us, we won’t let issues or questions worry us at all, we’ll just rent Madison Square Garden.

I hate old records.  I won’t dig up how you voted on every bill since you been in office. I think what a man did years ago has nothing to do with what he is doing today. Your old records mean nothing to me.

What you and I want to talk about is, “What will we do if we get in?” The first thing I will do is to have that White House painted green, so they can’t call it the White House any more.

Prohibition: let’s not mention that.  It has stirred up enough trouble already. Farm relief: you know how a Farmer votes.  When he gets to the polls he reaches in his pocket and sees how much he’s got.  If it’s only a few cents, why, he says ‘Throw the rascals out.’ But if he’s got as much as a dollar he guesses that the rascals is on his side after all, so maybe he’d better leave ’em in.

I challenged Hoover, but he wanted to make it over the radio.  Now, that’s no way to debate. There is too many people listening in that have no vote, so what’s the use trying to convince them? A Debate over a radio would be just about like a game of chess by telegraph.

Al, you want to make your appeal to the common people. Well you can’t make any commoner appeal than I can.  The poor people are my people till election, too.

Let’s hold it in New York City. We’ll hold it at midnight and draw a big crowd. So I am just practicing till I hear from you, and I hope it will be soon. You and I can pack ’em in.”