Author: Randall Reeder

Sept. 26, 2010

COLUMBUS: Lindsay Lohan is back in a Hollywood jail. Meanwhile in New York the young woman hiker that Iran let out of jail for $500,000 met with Iran’s Ahmadinejad. She asked him to release the two guys that were with her but they could not agree on a price. Personally, I think we should offer a trade. Iran gives us the two men, and we give them Lohan and Paris Hilton.

Congress announced they do not have time to vote on the income tax bill until after the election. The voters already know where their Congressman stands on health care, the energy tax and illegal immigration, so Speaker Pelosi does not want to saddle the voters with having another hot issue to keep track of. On November 2, they’ll just have to guess whether their Senator or Representative is for or against ‘em. Of course the same bird that says he’s against a higher income tax now can turn around and vote for it after he’s knocked out.

One reason Congress is short of time is they invited comedian Stephen Colbert to testify about his views on farming. In his entire life he worked exactly one day on a farm so naturally Congress wanted to find out what he knew.

If Congress had invited some actual farmers and ranchers they could have heard the real scoop on agriculture. But farmers in the Midwest are all harvesting their corn and soybeans this month and don’t have time to go to Washington, even to ask for relief.

Congress also put off a vote on the inheritance tax. If you die now, your family gets to keep it all. But if you wait till January to die, the government gets first crack at your fortune, and all the heirs get is a check for what’s left over. Rich old folks will be wary of what Christmas packages they allow under the tree. If it’s ticking, out it goes.

Have you noticed that cars today don’t have bumpers? They used to be strong steel that protected your car when, for example, you bumped into another car while parallel parking. But now these so-called bumpers are self-destructing, plastic coated cardboard that collapses at the first hint of a slight bump with another so-called bumper. In the old days if your car rolled into another one at 3 miles per hour you got a slight jolt. Now what you get is a repair bill for $4000.

I read in the Sunday paper that in Cuba, businesses can now hire people to work for them. Maybe we ought to try that.

Historic quotes from Will Rogers:

“Everything is changing in America. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke, when it used to be visa versa.” DT #1966, Nov. 22, 1932

“Now they got such a high inheritance tax on ’em that you won’t catch these old rich boys dying promiscuously like they did. This bill makes patriots out of everybody. You sure do die for your country if you die from now on.” DT #1767, March 23, 1932

Sept. 19, 2010

COLUMBUS: Congress is back, so the comedy should be getting better. We had a long dry spell because most of them went home in August, locked their door, and didn’t come out till they were forced to return to the old Joke Factory. They would occasionally sneak a peek out the kitchen window, but when they saw what the Tea Party did to some of their friends, they jumped back in bed.

Before I get into the tax bill, did you see where Lady Gaga went to an awards show wearing a “dress” made entirely of meat? It was all beef, what there was of it. Not a speck of cereal. Just some cotton thread to hold it together. Ranchers and cattlemen appreciate her support, but if she ever offers you a slice of rump roast, refuse it.

Democrats and Republicans are arguing over the tax cuts that are expiring January 1. Republicans want to keep all income taxes where they are, but Democrats want to raise ‘em for anyone making over $250,000. Democrats figure that’s only 2 percent of the voters, but Republicans say, “Yes, but that 2 percent pays half the taxes, and their spending keeps the economy going.” It all boils down to arithmetic, and who is doing the ciphering. To Democrats, votes is most important. To Republicans, it’s dollars.

I think the Democrats might go along with the Republicans if they adopt a controversial provision from the 1935 Townsend Plan. Dr. Townsend’s plan to give pensions to old folks was to pay them $200 a month, but (and here’s the requirement that killed it in the Senate) they have to spend it. No saving for a rainy day. Every month, spend every dollar.

Now, if these higher income folks, and maybe the rest of us, would agree that every month we’ll spend whatever the savings is between the Republican and Democrat plans, then it might get through Congress. That way, the money will be spent to stimulate the economy. The only difference is, the taxpayer decides where his money is spent instead of President Obama.

In Arkansas, Senator Lincoln didn’t wait for any tax savings plan; she reached into Treasury Secretary Geithner’s back pocket and plucked out some cash for her rice and cotton farmers. It’s a Disaster Aid package that zeros in on Arkansas. I figure if Sen. Lincoln hands out about $500,000,000, and she needs roughly 500,000 votes to win re-election, that comes to $1000 per vote.

That may seem absurd if you don’t live in Arkansas, but odds are your own Congressman or Senator has grabbed even more to spread among the voters.

Historic quotes from Will Rogers:

“The whole trouble with the Republicans is their fear of an increase in income tax, especially on higher incomes. They speak of it almost like a national calamity.” DT #1435, Feb. 27, 1931

 “The crime of taxation is not in the taking it, it’s in the way that it’s spent.” DT #1764, March 20, 1932

“Our government is the only people that just loves to spend without being compelled to, at all.  But the government is the only people that don’t have to worry where it’s coming from.” Radio, April 21, 1935

Looking back on Sept. 11, 2001
Sept. 11, 2010
COLUMBUS: It’s been nine years since 9-11 became a common part of our vocabulary. This weekend there were commemorating ceremonies at Ground Zero, the Pentagon, various football games. Television programs are looking back at that horrible day. We haven’t forgotten.
Here’s part of what I wrote in Weekly Comments the evening of September 11, 2001:    This is not a time for comedy. Civilization was attacked today. The targets were in New York and Washington, but we ALL got hit. Yes sir, not just Americans, but everybody around the world who believes in freedom and democracy and fair play.
I included a few lines from an earlier Weekly Comments, August 20, 1998: News is happening so fast it’s hard to believe it’s August. We had bombs explode in Kenya and Tanzania and Ireland, and just today we sent cruise missiles after some terrorists in Afghanistan and Sudan. You might not have heard of this Saudi Arabian billionaire named Bin Laden, but you’re likely to hear plenty from him now. He’s got more money than many countries, and a bigger army than at least half of ‘em.
Then in subsequent Weekly Comments I included these observations: This fight we’re in is against Evil. It’s not just one man, or his army of radical followers. And certainly not against one country. I read in the paper where some Islamic clerics are meeting to decide if it’s a sin to murder women and children, and commit suicide. The outcome appears to be in doubt. Now I ain’t one to interfere in a religious debate. But based on what I’ve picked up from the radio, and from conversations with folks I know personally in that denomination, at least 99.999 percent of the followers of that particular faith know the difference between right and wrong.
It’s pretty clear that these terrorists, including the Taliban, are no more Islamic than Hitler was a Christian. And any cleric that needs more than ten seconds to decide where he stands, well, he ain’t Islamic either.
Everybody is supporting President Bush, saying he has been quite, well, downright Presidential. Ninety percent say they approve of the way he is handling the situation, along with Mr. Cheney and Powell, Rumsfield and Ashcroft.
Democrats and Republicans in Washington are all pulling together. Of course it’s easy for ’em to all agree when they are spending money. When they have to figure out where the money is coming from, that’s when they’re likely to separate.
Defeating this Evil is the important task at hand. Taking care of Bin Laden and the Taliban won’t be easy, but it may not take as long as people fear. Bob Hope says he’s ready to entertain the troops at Christmas, if they still need him.
Have you noticed, nobody has said a word lately against Prayer in schools.

Well, nine years later Bin Laden is still on the loose, probably in Pakistan. We’ve spent a Trillion dollars on two wars and Billions on security at airports, government buildings, and large public events. If these radical Islamists can’t kill us all, they may be satisfied bankrupting us.

Historic quote from Will Rogers:
“No nation ever had two better friends than we have. You know who they are? Well they are the Atlantic and Pacific ocean. There is a couple of boys that will stand by you. And you can always depend on ’em, three thousand miles wide and a mile deep.” WA 537, April 9, 1933 (their value dropped a bit on Sept. 11, 2001)

Will suggests a quote for President’s new Oval Office rug

COLUMBUS: President Obama redecorated the Oval Office. He kept the historic desk, but ordered a new rug to lay on the floor.  He had some of his favorite quotes sewed into the rug. Every time he walks into the office he looks down at it, reads one of those quotes, and it inspires or kinda prepares him for the tribulations and turmoil he’s about to face .

Here’s an authentic quote he should add to the Oval Office rug. “I’m not a member of any organized political party… I’m a Democrat.”

Then the next time he wonders, “Why can’t I get anything else through Congress? The House is Democratic, the Senate is Democratic, and I’m a Democrat.” Just read the quote.

Here’s another one. “Democrats never agree on anything, that’s why they’re Democrats. If they agreed with each other, they’d be Republicans.” The next time Congressman John Boehner came to the Oval Office to sound off about something, he would see that quote and laugh so hard he’d forget what it was he wanted to complain about.

Now, I ain’t all one sided. Someday a Republican will get elected President. Eventually. He’ll throw out the Obama rug and bring in a new one. (Or if he’s like Coolidge, he would just turn the rug over and write on the other side.) Here’s a quote for a Republican president to ponder: “Democrats and Republicans are equally corrupt where money’s concerned. It’s only in the amount where the Republicans excel.” In fact, that might explain how he got elected.

The economy keeps getting worse. Almost 10% are unemployed and we lost more jobs in August. Here it is Labor Day, and nobody in Washington can agree on how to get people back to work. Republicans want to extend the tax cuts, but Democrats say that’s ok for the poor, but if you’re rich, you need to pay more. Obama says, “If we give rich people a tax cut they won’t spend it. They just put it in the bank or invest it.” Well, maybe that’s how they got rich, by saving rather than spending. Instead of criticizing these folks, the President ought to be promoting them.
If some of that money goes to banks instead of Washington, maybe they’ll see fit to loan it out to business so they can hire more help. Of course, the President has to let these businesses know the government isn’t going to swoop in and take more from them for everyone they hire.

Historic quotes from Will Rogers:

“Last year we said: Things can’t go on like this! and they didn’t. They got worse.” Jan. 11, 1930

“But we can’t alibi all our ills by just knocking the old banker. First he loaned the money, then the people all at once wanted it back, and he didn’t have it. Now he’s got it again, and is afraid to loan it, so the poor devil don’t know what to do.” DT #1833, June 8, 1932

Will recalls Hurricane Katrina, 5 years ago

COLUMBUS: The economic news got worse this week for the President. A poll reported that 83% of Americans are sending a message to Washington; they rated the economy as Bad or Fairly Bad. The other 17% are actually in Washington.

For everywhere except Washington, unemployment is over 10 percent. Washington is the only place where everybody is employed. (Notice I said “is employed”, not “is working”.)

It’s been 5 years since Hurricane Katrina hit New Orleans, and all the newspapers and TV folks are looking back at what they said and wrote at the time. I happened to be in New Orleans following a speaking engagement on the paddle wheeler, American Queen. We were fortunate to be among the last ones to fly out of the New Orleans airport, just 36 hours before the storm hit.

Here are some of my “Weekly Comments” written in the month after Katrina devastated New Orleans. (I was not kind to the Mayor and Governor.)
A gigantic hurricane was forecast to take dead aim on New Orleans 5 days (before it hit). That extremely accurate prediction was made by an agency of the United States government, so don’t go laying all the blame on the Feds…
The Times-Picayune reports that as a result of a big hurricane New Orleans is flooded, poor people are stranded and hungry and clinging to rooftops, and chaos rules. Of course that was in the paper in 2002, but nobody at City Hall bothered to read it, even if they could read. Blame the editor for not putting in more pictures…
I have heard (President Bush) will give New Orleans at least $100 Billion for relief. For that you ought to be able to buy New Orleans, at least the part below sea level. In fact if we’re going to spend it, that would be a great idea because you would only have to spend it once. For a family living in a $50,000 house below sea level, it will cost at least $100,000 to rebuild it, and the next hurricane it’ll get flooded again and cost us $150,000. Now, we know these folks want to go right back where they lived, and who can blame them. But let’s make sure where they build is above water level. Anybody that insists on living below sea level, let ’em rebuild in Death Valley.
Here is the key to my Plan for New Orleans. You take all the area below sea level, and divide it in half. Let’s say for discussion purposes that whole flooded area is 2000 acres. The half that’s the lowest (deepest) will be dug out even deeper, maybe 10 to 20 feet deeper than it is now, and let it fill with water. And you use the fill dirt you took from that half to build up the other half, so where now you have 2000 acres that’s likely to flood every now and again, after we move all that dirt, you’ll have a beautiful1000-acre lake, and 1000 acres of dry land ready to build on. Of course, we’ll use some of that fill material to raise and strengthen the levees.

Historic quotes from Will Rogers: (on the Mississippi River flood of 1927)
“There will be bills introduced in (Congress) to regulate the rainfalls. Some will suggest moving the river over into some other Senator’s state. Some will suggest letting it empty into the Grand Canyon where the levees on each side are high enough now without rebuilding them. Someone will introduce a bill to have the river run up hill so it won’t go so fast. But the people down there better not put too much dependence in Congress. They can grow web feet quicker than Congress will relieve ’em. If I was them, I would make my next house a house boat. But Congress might fool us, and let us all hope and pray they will, for if anybody ever needed help it’s those people down there.” WA #231, May 15, 1927

Will offers tips on government spending… and eggs

COLUMBUS: Washington is on vacation. President Obama is at Martha’s Vineyard in Massachusetts where he traveled after a day at the beach in Florida where he met up with his wife returning from a week in Spain.

Congress is back home. Actually, no one has seen them. Last August they held town hall meetings that caused such a ruckus (remember?), so this year they are holed up in the basement.

All except Vice-President Biden. He come out and said don’t be concerned about the economy, enjoy the rest of the summer, and things will look brighter when Congress gets back to work in a month. In other words, if you are out of a job think of it as a long vacation.

The President has so often been on the opposite side of what people want that he’s sitting up there on a sailboat wondering, “Ain’t there something I can be in favor of that the majority of Americans will agree with me.” On illegal immigration, the mosque, health care, government jobs, energy taxes, income taxes and inheritance taxes – he’s been on the short end of all these.

Well, here’s my suggestion that would make everybody cheer him and forget the past. The President should announce tomorrow that Football is a great sport and that we should all support our favorite teams, whether in the NFL, college, high school or peewee. But don’t be surprised if he messes up and instead of football he says soccer.

A long time ago I said, Be glad you don’t get all the government you pay for. Times sure have changed. Today, we got more government than we know what to do with, and we’re only paying for 60 percent of it. China is covering the rest. If we had to pay the total bill, we would all end up at the Poor Farm.

What do we do with all this excess government? The part of it you get yourself, just refuse it. Say, “No, it’s government money, and it’s tainted.  And I don’t believe in the government spending all this money, and hence I don’t take any part of it.” (Radio, Apr. 7, 1935)

Here’s a public service announcement about Eggs. If you plan to eat eggs, make sure they are well cooked. If on the other hand you intend only to throw them at a rotten politician, I suggest Blagojevich. He was saved by a lone juror, likely bought off by the Chicago mafia. He’ll be harder to get behind bars than Al Capone. Frankly, I don’t care if he’s free, if he’ll just shut up and disappear. Like Congress this August.

Historic quotes from Will Rogers:

“Looks like the taxpayers in the U. S. are the only folks hiring any help nowadays. A private business, when it don’t do any business, don’t use anybody. But the less business the public has the more we hire to tend to it. There is but one county institution that needs enlarging, and that’s the Insane place; put us all in there till we know enough to vote to cut out at least 50 percent of our governing expenses.” DT #1846, July 5, 1932

 “Sure, the government can help us on everything – if we just furnish ‘em the money to do it with.” Notes, undated.

“What the government has got to do is live as cheap as the people.” DT #1990, Dec. 20, 1932

 “It costs ten times more to govern us than it used to, and we are not governed one-tenth as good.” DT #1770, March 27, 1932

Economic Solution: pay public employees with food stamps, post-dated

COLUMBUS: This Summer of Recovery has turned into a Season of Requesting More Handouts. With more people unemployed and losing their homes, government unions asked Congress for $26 Billion to keep their annual salary increases intact. Congress approved, figuring a million happy government workers will mean a million more votes in November. And compared to the other handouts lately, $26,000 for a sure vote looks like a good investment.

Congress came up with a new scheme to pay for these salary increases, with $26 Billion that’s been promised for food stamps… now get this… 4 years from now. Well, as silly as that sounds, they’ve been doing the same thing with the Social Security fund for years. Here’s a suggestion. Let these teachers and government workers keep their jobs and their higher salaries, but give them 10 percent of their pay in food stamps, post-dated to 2014. And here’s another thing: they’ll be allowed to pay all their union dues and contributions with these post-dated food stamps. Food stamps will become the new currency for government unions.

But it ain’t just the public employees unions with their hands out. There was a horde of unemployed folks protesting on Wall Street, and you know what they wanted? They weren’t after jobs. No, what they want is for the unemployment checks to keep on coming. They weren’t after work; they wanted a dole. It’s a shame. We’ve got 7 million long-term unemployed, nobody’s hiring (at least not hiring these folks), and the government is creating government jobs as fast as good politics allows but it’s not enough to soak up all these millions that are out of work.

Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac heard about the free money from Congress, and they popped up again. See, they kept their heads down and out of sight while all the financial reform arguing was going on in Congress, but now they’re back. The Federal Reserve cut interest rates to zero on money for banks, and these two still claim they can’t break even loaning it out.

President Obama took his family to Panama City, Florida, for a day at the beach and to inspect the Gulf of Mexico. With not a speck of oil in sight, he declared the Gulf is open for swimming. He would have gone to Florida sooner, but he had to wait for Mrs. Obama to return from a week in Spain where she was inspecting the Mediterranean.

Historic quotes from Will Rogers:
“The only problem that confronts this country today is at least 7,000,000 people are out of work.  That’s our only problem. It’s to see that every man that wants to (and) is able to work, is allowed to find a place to go to work.” Radio, Oct. 18, 1931

“Our President left for a quiet vacation with twelve carloads of cameramen, reporters, cooks, valets, maids, butlers, doctors, military and naval attaches. I saw King George when he left Buckingham Palace in London last Summer for his vacation, and you could have put all he and Mary both had in a Ford truck.” DT #281, June 15, 1927

“…if (the President) had the authority to keep Americans at home one summer and made them see their own country, it would be the greatest thing that ever happened to this Country, and incidentally give Europe a chance to laugh at something else beside us… There ought to be a law passed in Congress that no one was allowed to receive a Passport to leave this country till they had visited New Mexico and Arizona.” WA #222, March 13, 1927

Remembering Will Rogers, 75 years later

Seventy-five years ago, Aug. 15, 1935, Will Rogers and world-renowned pilot Wiley Post died at Point Barrow, Alaska. Below are the syndicated newspaper articles, slightly shortened, that Will wrote and sent by telegram in his last week on Earth:

JUNEAU, Alaska, Aug. 7, 1935. Well that was some trip. Thousand-mile hop from Seattle to Juneau. Was going to stop at Ketchikan for lunch, but mist and rain and Wiley just breezed through, never over 100 feet off the water.
And talk about navigating. There is millions of channels and islands and bays and all look alike to me, but this old boy turns up the right alley all the time.
Nothing that I have ever seen is more beautiful than this inland passage, by either boat or plane, to Alaska.

Aug. 8. This is Juneau, the capital of the whole territory of Alaska… The Chamber of Commerce will shoot me for this, but I have been buying raincoats since early morning.
We are going to Skagway now and see the famous Chilkoot Pass. We will do it in ten minutes and it took the pioneers two and three months.

Aug. 9. Bad weather. Not a plane mushed out of Juneau yesterday… Tourists are still arriving by the boatload. Mining activity everywhere. Not much news of Congress, and what we do get is mostly bad. Guess it’s about the same down there.

AKLAVIK, N. W. T., Aug. l0. Get your map out and look this up. The mouth of the Mackenzie River, right on the Arctic Ocean. Eskimos are thicker than rich men at a “Save the Constitution convention.”   We are headed for famous Hershel Island in the Arctic.
Old Wiley had to duck his head to keep from bumping it as we flew under the Arctic Circle. What, no night? It’s all day up here.

AKLAVIK, N. W. T., Aug. l2. Was you ever driving around in a car and not knowing or caring where you went? Well, that’s what Wiley and I are doing. We are sure having a great time. If we hear of whales or polar bears in the Arctic, or a big herd of caribou or reindeer we fly over and see it. Friday and Saturday we visited the old Klondike district, Dawson City, Bonanza, Eldorado.
Say, there is a horse here; the furthest north of any horse, and he eats fish and travels on snowshoes.

FAIRBANKS,  Aug. 13. This Alaska is a great country. If they can just keep from being taken over by the U. S. they got a great future. This is the greatest aviation-minded city of its size in the world. There is only 30,000 white people in Alaska and there is seventy commercial planes operating every day, in winter on skis.
There may be some doubt about the Louisiana purchase being a mistake, but when Seward in 1868 bought Alaska for $7,000,000 he even made up for what we had overpaid the Indians for Manhattan Island.

ANCHORAGE, Aug. l4. Well, we had a day off today and nothing to do, so we went flying with Joe Crosson, Alaska’s crack pilot, who is a great friend of Wiley’s… In a Lockheed Electra we scaled Mount McKinley, the highest one on the American Continent. Bright sunny day and the most beautiful sight I ever saw… Flew right by hundreds of mountain sheep, flew low over moose and bear down in the valley. Now out to visit Matamuska Valley, where they sent those 1935 model pioneers [as a New Deal project].

FAIRBANKS, Aug. l5. Visited our new emigrants. Now this is no time to discuss whether it will succeed or whether it won’t, whether it’s farming country or whether it is not, and to enumerate the hundreds of mistakes and arguments and management in the whole thing at home and here. As I see it, there is now but one problem, and that’s to get them housed within six or eight weeks. Things have been a terrible mess. They are getting them straightened out, but not fast enough. But it’s just a few weeks to snow now and they have to be out of the tents…
There is a lot of difference in pioneering for gold and pioneering for spinach.

Make no big decisions in hot weather

COLUMBUS: A federal judge in Arizona struck down the heart of the state law that was written to enforce the federal law against illegal immigration. The judge sided with the Mexican President and against the Arizona Governor. See, the governor wants to send home the Mexicans that sneaked across the border but the Mexican president wants them to stay in Arizona, and send home their money.

What the judge really wanted to strike down was the federal law, not just Arizona’s law. She says a sheriff in Arizona can’t ask you to show identification to prove you are legal, making Arizona the only state where you can be caught speeding anonymously. If you are stopped for going 90 on the Interstate, you just say, “Officer, the judge say, ‘No papers, no license, no ticket’.” Well, he can’t write a ticket without a name, so he’ll just send you on your way north, along with your 13 friends piled in the back.

Of course I’m exaggerating, but no more than the television networks that say we should open our borders to anyone who wants to come here and become a U.S. citizen. Too many Americans are out of work and living on unemployment. Does the Attorney General think our unemployed can go to Mexico and get a job?

The big problem with this ruling is the judge made her decision in the middle of summer. In Arizona. As I said in 1935, “Heat and reason don’t go together.” Important decisions should be pushed to one side until late September. Why would Congress want to add a tax on electricity in August when half the country can’t live without air conditioning? And the estate tax. We’ve got old people trying to hang on through this heat, and Congress threatens to bring back the inheritance tax. And do you really want to increase the income tax rate on the only people with enough dough to hire someone?

Historic quotes from Will Rogers: (from his last radio broadcast)

“…I’m off the air during the heat spell… So I’m just going to let you find out your own way of settling the affairs of the world during the hot spell.  I won’t be able to advise you for about two or three months.
Heat and reason don’t go together, anyhow… There’s going to be a lot of spouting from the radio and from the speakers’ platforms all this summer.  There’ll be more perspiration than common sense flowing, and the whole political thing has come to a pretty direct division point.  I mean there’s been a direct split in the parties…
Both sides want the country to be prosperous.  It’s not a political thing. It’s just a difference of opinion in arriving at it. Both sides, I think, are equally patriotic.  Neither has a corner on patriotism, and neither has a corner on brains.  It’s just, What should we do to recover?
Nobody wanted to claim the credit for the country blowing up, but wait until it starts picking up and they’ll both be on it then.
I don’t think either one of them knows what it’s all about, to be honest with you.  Both sides are doing nothing but just looking towards the next election. You don’t hear anybody talking any more about, ‘I wonder when these folks are going back to work… All you hear now is, ‘Do you think Roosevelt will be reelected?’  and, ‘Who will the Republicans run?’  Shows you what their minds are on.  Their minds are on their own business.  That’s all it’s on now.” Radio, June 9, 1935

Bank reform and a leaning bridge draw Will’s attention

COLUMBUS: President Obama signed the Dodd-Frank Financial Reform bill. But really, it’s more of a Jobs bill, and all the new jobs will be in Washington. Thousands of Wall Streeters will move down there to advise the government on how to reform Wall Street. A couple dozen Harvard professors will be hired to assist them. Their job will be to write the rules in such a way that nobody can understand them except lawyers. Only one thing will be clear: there will be no rules or regulations pertaining to the financial dealings of Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac. Or Congress. Thereby assuring the failure of any financial reforms.

You have read in the papers that Wall Street banks paid bonuses of $2 Billion. These bonuses were paid even though those same outfits went so deep in the hole they had to be bailed out with $800 Billion. It kinda makes you wonder how much those birds rake in when they’re profitable.

Meanwhile, the BP Board of Directors is giving CEO Tony Heyward a $15 Million bonus, to leave. He also gets to keep his yacht and all the oil he can scoop up from the Gulf. No word from the Board yet if they are accepting my suggestion to change the name from BP to Amoco. That idea ought to be worth another $15 Million.

Here in Columbus, the mayor cut the ribbon on a new bridge. It was designed by a Harvard professor named Spiro Pollalis who said the 660 foot long bridge would cost $20 million. It’s called an inclined-arch bridge with one arch, not two, and the arch leans about 10 degrees upstream. Well, he designed it with match sticks and the engineers had to add a million pounds of steel to the design and 2500 cubic yards of concrete so it wouldn’t fall in the river. The cost TRIPLED to $60 million. But the mayor says it’s worth it because this bridge will become the symbol for Columbus, Ohio, the way the Space Needle is to Seattle, the Gateway Arch is to St. Louis and the Leaning Tower is to Pisa.

It seems we spent $20 million to cross the river and $40 million for advertising purposes. From now on, whenever you see on TV a prominent person being interviewed in Columbus, he will be standing in front of this bridge. Or maybe he’ll be standing on it, where hordes of tourists eventually will be photographed, pushing against the tilting arch. The mayor will go down in history because the city will become famous worldwide as the home of the Leaning Bridge of Columbus.

Professor Pollalis was asked about the extra $40 million for his bridge design, he scoffed and said, “In Athens, Greece, today nobody thinks about what the Parthenon cost.” He’s right. Greece has been operating by that same economic plan for centuries. That’s why they’re broke.

Historic quote from Will Rogers:

“Banking and After Dinner Speaking are two of the most Non-essential industries we have in this country.  I am ready to reform if they are.” WA #14, March 14, 1923