Category: Uncategorized

May 8, 2003

COLUMBUS: The Supreme Court took a stand this week on honesty. They ruled that from now on these folks that call you asking for money have to tell the truth. Telemarketers cannot make “false statements with the intent to mislead the listener.” That’s good, as far as it goes, but if those old Justices really want to satisfy America they should apply the same rule to used car salesmen, Wall Streeters and politicians.

Ohio came up with a solution to their budget problem. It’s the same one used down through the ages, they passed a tax. The legislature put on a one-cent sales tax to start in July. They say it is a temporary tax, but one senator already wants to make it permanent. This may be the first time in history a temporary tax becomes permanent even before it has a chance to be temporary.

The legislature went one step farther. In November they’ll let everyone vote on whether they prefer to keep the one-cent sales tax, or install slot machines at the horse tracks. These legislators are shrewd… they give you a choice between a tax, and a tax. There’s no place on the ballot for “none of the above”. Of course, one tax is on people with money who spend it; the other is on people without money, who spend it anyway.

There’s a man over in Springfield that’s been working for the same company, building trucks, since 1937. Then last month he got laid off. Times may be tough, but seniority ought to be worth something. Think how insecure that makes the fellows feel who have only been there 50 or 60 years.

Unemployment is up to 6 percent, and it looks a lot worse to Democrats than it does to Republicans. Candidates are howling about the economy. But you know, it kinda skews the picture when you’ve got 9 of them going after one job. For at least 8 of them it’ll look even worse after the election.

Historic quotes from Will Rogers:

“We cuss the lawmakers. No matter whether it’s state or national legislature, we cuss ’em. But I notice we’re always perfectly willin’ to share in any of the sums of money that they might distribute. You know what I mean. We cuss ’em for distributing it, but we’re always there when it’s handed out.” Radio broadcast, April 7, 1935

April 26, 2003

DAYTON, Ohio: I’m over here tonight in the home town of those two pioneers of aviation, Orville and Wilbur Wright. It was 100 years ago those two designed and built their first airplane. Folks around here still don’t understand why they drove it all the way to North Carolina to fly it the first time.

Well, the biggest hospital in this part of the state (Miami Valley Hospital) put on a big shindig to raise money to add on to their baby care unit. A nurse told me sometimes they have so many newborns they practically have to stack ’em two deep, even if they ain’t twins.

In honor of Orville and Wilbur they had a theme, “Fly Back with us to the Glamorous Era of Hollywood.” They cleared out a big hangar at the airport, decorated it with a Hollywood flavor, and invited me and Marilyn Monroe to make it authentic. Marilyn supplied all the glamour and I covered the “fly back” part.

Now, I have kidded Mae West, Marlene Dietrich and Greta Garbo, even little Shirley Temple, but I had never before met Marilyn Monroe. We hit it off pretty good… I think she mistook me for Clark Gable. You know these Hollywood leading men, with rugged good looks and debonaire, distinguished manner, why sometimes it’s hard to tell us apart.

But nobody mistook Marilyn. If she had been with us back there in the Follies, she would have been Mr. Ziegfeld’s Favorite for sure.

She wore that white flowing dress, the one that helped make here famous. (I know you’ve seen the photo, the one where it was more blowin’ than flowin’.)

She’s an intelligent woman, don’t let anybody kid you on that. She’s intelligent, but she don’t let anyone know it. She’s demure, but sometimes she can jump right in and be assertive with that quiet voice and nobody complains about it, at least not the men.

Well, I said once, a long time ago, I would like to be in a movie with Katie Hepburn. And I sure wouldn’t mind making one today with Marilyn Monroe. I think we would make a good pair, but you know Hollywood. They would probably put me in there as her great grandpappy. Still, that’s not bad when you’re pushing 124.

There was about 500 tonight in that hangar, and by the time they got around to the auction everyone was in a generous mood. I don’t know if they got enough for a new wing, but it’s a start.

You know, I bet there ain’t a hospital anywhere that doesn’t need more dough. And they put it to great use. In fact, next time you get one of those annoying phone calls asking you to give to some so-called charity is a distant land or even next door, and you’re tempted by a smooth-talking sales person to write a big check, instead just hang up and mail it to a hospital in your hometown, or a church or other worthwhile organization right there local. They’ll appreciate it, and you know for a fact they won’t spend three-fourths of it to pay someone to call you asking for more next month.

And if they ever decide to throw a Hollywood party, kinda hint for ’em to invite Marilyn Monroe and Grandpap Rogers.

Historic quotes from Will Rogers:

“I hold two distinctions in the movie business. I’m the ugliest fellow in ’em, and I still have the same wife I started with.”

“In Hollywood, we’re pretty broke up. Greta Garbo left us last night to go home. It was a tremendous personal loss to me. Only consolation I have is that Mae West is still with us. Greta left us. She says, “I tank I go home.” When she gets over there in Sweden and sees those salaries, I tank Greta will come back.” Radio broadcast, June 2, 1935

MORGANTOWN, West Va.: All I know is what I read or see as I wander around the country. This is the home of West Virginia University, and the only news folks are talking about here is their decision to eliminate a bunch of men’s sports teams: track, tennis, gymnastics, cross country and rifle.

The one that got everybody riled up is the rifle team. They’re cutting the team even though it’s almost half women. WVU has produced more college championships and All-American shooters than anyone except maybe Army and Navy. West Virginia giving up a rifle team is like Kentucky quitting basketball or Oklahoma dropping football.

Marksmanship is such an important curriculum item that high schools in this state take off a week every November so students can devote their full time to it. For some folks this is called deer season, but for the rifle team coaches its recruiting season. They trail the most promising kids through the woods for four years and offer scholarships to the best shots. The ones that don’t get scholarships still get to keep the meat and join the NRA. This is the only state where more deer are shot than hit by an automobile.

The football team mascot is the old Mountaineer with his muzzle-loading rifle. Starting next season he may have to give up his gun for a sling shot.

I think football is the solution for all these colleges that are cutting teams. They all say they have to cut men’s teams in order to afford more women’s sports. Well, if football is what brings in the dough, they should play women’s football. Then as soon as the women draw a crowd every Saturday like the men do, then colleges can have more teams, for men and women.

Iraq has settled down quite a bit. Combat has moved from the battlefield to a conference room, and it’s mainly Muslims vs. Muslims. While it might seem odd to us, now that Saddam is gone, you know, why would they want to fight and argue among themselves. Well, it’s human nature. In Ireland we got Christians vs. Christians, and in Ohio it’s Republicans vs. Republicans, so why would we expect Iraq to be any different.

President Bush doesn’t think the UN can finish with North Korea in time to help us rebuild Iraq, so he has called on Bechtel and Haliburton. He figures they can do the job faster, and in the long run will cost us less than the UN would. Besides if the UN really wanted to work with us they would have replaced Secretary General Kofi Annan with Dick Cheney.

I want to pay tribute to Australia this week. They helped us out in Iraq, like the British. They celebrate ANZAC Day every April 25, along with New Zealand, and this year they have another reason to feel proud of their soldiers. G’day mates.

Historic quotes from Will Rogers:

“There are old guys down there who have an old Squirrel Rifle laying up over the door on some deer horns, and if they shoot at you and don’t hit you in the eye, why, they call it a miss.” WA #45, October 21, 1923

“Annie Oakley was the acknowledged headliner for years and years of the great Buffalo Bill Show, the best known woman in the World at one time, as when she was with the show it toured everywhere. She was not only the greatest rifle shot for a woman that ever lived, but I doubt if her character could be matched outside of some Saint.” WA #206, November 21, 1926

COLUMBUS: Great news today about all seven of our POWs getting out safe. That was a capper on quite a week.

Saddam is out, maybe dead. If he is alive, and his Iraqi enemies get a hold of him, he’ll wish he had surrendered to us when he had a chance.

There’s nothing left of him in Iraq except for some statues, and they are coming down fast. One still standing in Tikrit has him mounted on a horse. I kinda hope they can cut him down but leave the horse.

President Chirac announced Wednesday that the French are rejoicing. That’s something the French excel at, is rejoicing. Used to be they were good at most things, but lately they just specialize in rejoicing. They leave the fighting to somebody who’s good at it. They just watch, and as soon as the fight’s over they toast the winner, no matter who he is. They don’t waste champagne on a loser, unless he paid for it in cash.

France is conferring this weekend with Germany and Russia. They’re all pushing for the United Nations to have a big role in Iraq. Now that we’ve pushed Saddam out of power they want to come in and clean up.

I think President Bush is liable to tell them, “How ’bout if you folks take on the nuclear threat in North Korea instead. That way we can bring our troops home from South Korea; after fifty years they need a rest. Now, just as soon as your diplomats disarm the Koreans, then you can help us rebuild Iraq.”

After this war is over, President Bush must do one more thing to guarantee immortality, or at least nomination for a second term. He must avoid, at all costs, holding a conference. (See quote below)

Everybody rejoices in their own way. I read in the paper that in 1945, after we ran the Germans out of France and beat Hitler, the French celebrated by looting and killing 40,000 of their own. It didn’t say if that was before or after they uncorked the champagne.

In New York they hold a parade and throw confetti.

In Jessica Lynch’s West Virginia hometown they celebrated last night with a potluck supper. Then they got up early and went to church to celebrate again.

In Iraq they’re looting and stealing, even from hospitals and museums. We went to the trouble of not dropping bombs on all these important buildings, and they destroy ’em from the inside out. Of course, they may have got the vandalism idea from watching some of our football and basketball hoodlums. And just like over here, it only takes a few to give everybody a bad name.

Mr. Rumsfeld says not to worry, they need a chance to rejoice over their first taste of freedom in thirty five years, and they’ll start acting civilized in a week or so.

Iraqis have their way of rejoicing, and the French theirs. For me, I’ll take my chances on a potluck supper.

Excuse me for hurrying, I’ve got to work on taxes.

Historic quotes from Will Rogers:

“America, a funny thing about us, we never was very good in conference. We are great talkers but we are mighty poor conferers. We have a unique record, America has a unique record. We never lost a war and we never won a conference in our lives. We can, I think, without any degree of egotism we can say, with our tremendous resources we can lick any nation in the world single-handed and yet we can’t confer with Costa Rica and come home with our shirts on.” Radio broadcast, April 6, 1930

GEORGETOWN, Ohio: This is the home of that great American General, U. S. Grant. He is remembered more as a General than as a President because he was better at giving orders, than taking them from Congress.

Everybody asks the question, “Who is buried in Grant’s tomb?” Well, I don’t’ know if he’s in it, or even where the tomb is, but I can tell you the house he was raised in is here, about 2 blocks east of the Courthouse.

I’m down here today talking to some youngsters about riding safely on one of those All-Terrain Vehicles (4-wheelers). They are kinda the modern day version of a horse, except they aren’t near as smart. You’ll never find a horse that’ll run up a hill so steep he turns back over himself and slides to the bottom.

I’m a fine one to be talking about safety, as many times as “I” have fallen off. (That’s off a horse, not an ATV)

In Iraq we have lost about a hundred of our men and women, and some of them were even killed by the enemy. Losing our troops is serious, no matter who is shooting at them.

We need to keep things in perspective. You take 200,000 of your average American drivers and have them drive back and forth between Kuwait and Baghdad for a week, you’ll lose way more than a hundred just from accidents, and that’s not counting the ones that’ll shoot each other.

That was good news about our troops rescuing Jessica Lynch. She’s a farm girl from Wirt County, West Virginia, a small county in a small state. She’s kinda small herself, but her heart’s as big as Montana. Her family went to Germany to be with her, and I’ve got a suggestion, and don’t be surprised if it happens. Do you remember the man named Whitaker that won a hundred million in the lottery that I wrote about in December? (Weekly Comments #254) Well, he owns a construction company not too far from Wirt Co., and he just might take his men up there and build the family a house before they get back home. If he does the whole state is liable to turn out to help him.

We sure won’t forget the Iraqi man that helped Jessica get saved from the hospital where his wife’s a nurse. He walked 6 miles to tell the Americans about her, then walked back for more information, and out again. He is a real hero, showing concern for another human being with no regard for his own welfare. Now, you may say there’s lots of heros doing the same thing. Yes, but this one is a rarity, he’s a lawyer.

(My lawyer friends may shoot me on that one, but even they will admit, if you ask them, that the big majority of lawyers could use some inspiration and humanity.)

Tonight Kansas and Syracuse won their big college basketball games and they’re ready to play for the championship*. Their two coaches, between them, have won about a million games, but Monday night one of them will get his first championship. Let’s hope it’s a good game because there’ll be a lot of our troops over in the Middle East watching and listening. They could use a short respite from the war.   (Note: Syracuse won 81-78)

Historic quotes from Will Rogers:

“You can have all the advanced war methods you want, but, after all, nobody has ever invented a war that you dident have to have somebody in the guise of Soldiers to stop the bullets.” Saturday Evening Post, May 12, 1928

“You can’t say civilization don’t advance, however, for in every war they kill you in a new way.” DT #1063, Dec. 22, 1929

“I have used kidding stuff about us going into somebody’s country, and it’s always been tremendously popular stuff, for not a soul wanted us to be sending Marines out over the world. Like a big city would send policemen to places where they heard there was trouble. It had just become almost impossible for a country to have a nice home talent little revolution among themselves without us butting into it.” WA #576, January 7, 1934

COLUMBUS: Gasoline prices are coming down. Last week $1.70, today $1.42. Forget what Mr. Rumsfeld and Tommy Franks are telling you. The best gauge of how the war is going is gas prices. Gas prices and Wall Street.

Last week I overestimated Turkey, and I apologize for my optimism. At the time it looked like they would let us take a shortcut through their back yard. But no, they want our soldiers to take the scenic route, the two-week cruise through the Red Sea before they have to face Saddam’s Elite Republican Guard. That’ll give the Kurds two more weeks to get ready for the Turks. They’ll need it, they’ve only been preparing for 80 years.

In Washington, the Senate cut the President’s tax cut in half. They will only let us have $350 Billion of our money back. Mr. Bush says we need the entire $700 Billion tax cut for the country to recover. The Senate says, “No, we’re better off if we just let half the country recover.” The other half won’t get to recover till the next war. (I’ll let you guess which half you’re in.)

Really, what they said was they need $350 Billion to pay for the war. Mr. Rumsfeld figures he needs no more than $100 Billion. So don’t be surprised if the final budget bill includes $100 Billion for Rumsfeld and $250 Billion for our various Congressional Districts, mainly to build armor plated pork barrels.

We lost a dozen soldiers when they made a wrong turn and ended up in enemy territory. It is tragic and our thoughts and prayers are with them and their families. You’ve got to remember though that a wrong turn in some of our bigger cities can give you the same result.

I’ve been following the war live on CNN by videophone, especially the 7^th Cavalry. It’s amazing, they have gone 250 miles into Iraq, and not lost a single horse.

I just heard we knocked Iraqi television off the air without blowing up the station. Now there’s some technology that can come in handy the next time one of those Survivor shows comes on.

Historic quotes from Will Rogers: (more on Europe, and Turkey)

“Europe, when I was over there lately, and when I was over there two or three years ago, used to ask me, they says, “Rogers, why is it you all are in so bad?” You know, nobody seems to like America, and so I had to admit that we was in kinda bad. We are sort of the polecat of nations.

We wasn’t hardly what you would call the world’s sweetheart, but after they kept this up for quite a while, I used to casually ask them, I says, “Well, now,” be it Englishman or Frenchman or Italian or whoever it was, I used to say to him, “Well, we are in bad, but will you just kinda, offhand, just casually name me a list of your bosom friends among other nations?”

All those nations over there have been hatin’ each other for years, and they can’t hate us as bad as they hate each other.

And they wouldn’t hate us so bad if they really knew, and they wouldn’t envy us, I mean, as bad if they knew really how we was gettin’ along. They think we are doing better than we are. They could be doing just as good as we are if they bought as much on credit as we do. They are an ignorant kind of people. They don’t know, they just go and pay for anything when they buy it. They don’t know you can have nice radios and automobiles and everything and never pay for it, you know. They are awfully funny that way.” Radio broadcast, April 6, 1930

“There is nothing that irks a Turk so much as peace.” WA #408, August 19, 1930

COLUMBUS: President Bush kinda pulled the rug out from under St. Patrick’s celebration today. You know, all this War talk is liable to drive an Irishman to drink.

Our President announced that Saddam Hussein has 48 hours to get out of Dodge. Folks are hoping he will hitch a ride tomorrow with the UN inspectors.

There’s not much chance Saddam will change his mind, but Turkey changed theirs. They agreed to let our Army march through their country after all. They didn’t want to lose out on that $15 Billion offer. They came close; Ohio’s Governor offered to let ’em go by way of Cleveland for ten.

Historic quotes from Will Rogers: (on diplomacy, war, France and other European countries)

“Diplomats are just as essential to starting a war as Soldiers are for finishing it. You take diplomacy out of war and the thing would fall flat in a week… England, France and Germany have Diplomats that have had the honor of starting every war they have had in their lifetime. Ours are not so good – they are Amateurs – they have only talked us into one.” Saturday Evening Post, June 9, 1928

“There’s the one thing no nation can ever accuse us of and that is Secret Diplomacy. Our foreign dealings are an Open Book, generally a Check Book.” WA #45, October 21, 1923

“There is only one way we could be in worse with Europeans, and that is to have helped them out in two wars instead of one.” Saturday Evening Post, July 10, 1926

“You know, of course, that we stand in Europe about like a Horse Thief. Now I want to report to you that that is not so. We don’t stand like a Horse Thief abroad. Whoever told you we did is flattering us. We don’t stand as good as a Horse Thief. They knew what you were sore at them for.
I have purposely looked for combinations that were friendly toward each other, and I have yet to find any two that wasent at heart ready to pounce on each other if they thought they could get away with it… France and England think just as much of each other as two rival bands of Chicago Bootleggers… A Frenchman and an Italian love each other just about like Minneapolis and St. Paul. Spain and France have the same regard for each other as Fort Worth and Dallas.
Russia hates everybody so bad it would take her a week to pick out the one she hates most. Turkey has been laying off three months now without any war, and Peace is just about killing them. Greece has some open time that they are trying to fill in. They will take on anybody but Turkey; they are about cured of them.” Saturday Evening Post, August 26, 1926

“I would like to stay in Europe long enough to find some country that don’t blame America for everything in the world that’s happened to ’em in the last fifteen years – debts, depression, disarmament, disease, fog, famine or frostbite…. The birth rate is falling off so I am going to get out of here before we get blamed.” DT # 1718, Jan. 26, 1932

“Nice, France: It’s pronounced neece, not nice; they have no word for nice in French.” Sat. Evening Post, August 28, 1927

“A bunch of American tourists were hissed and stoned yesterday in France, but not until they had finished buying.” DT #4, August 2, 1926

“I would say to France, ‘You don’t seem to think you owe us anything. What we did for you, you think we owed you. Now if it wasn’t worth anything, why let it go. But, listen, if we wasn’t worth anything in this War, why don’t expect us in the next one.’
Any person or any nation will break a neck for each other if they think it’s appreciated. But the thing about this French thing is not the money. They don’t even in their own hearts appreciate, or even like us.” WA #112, Feb. 1, 1925

SIDNEY, Ohio: I have sworn off predicting the start of wars. I’m 0 for 2 on this one. From here on, I’ll leave it up to Mr. Bush. He’s one man that don’t have to predict, he can just announce.

I’m here tonight at a dinner for roofers, at the Great Stone Castle. This castle don’t go back quite to King Arthur’s Court, but it’s close. It’ll sure never be confused with White Castle. Not only great stone, but great food.

A company named Classic Products manufactures roofs, and they brought in some of their best distributors from all over the country, including the Bahamas, Quebec and Kansas. They invited me here to talk to them, but I’m no expert on roofs. I don’t install ’em, paint ’em, or fix ’em. But I have performed on ’em.

See, “I” played Hammerstein’s Roof Garden Theater in 1905, the greatest Vaudeville theater of all time. I played on the roof one whole summer. We played on the roof at nights and downstairs at Matinee. Then in 1914, Mr. Ziegfeld’s “Midnight Frolic” was on the roof of the Amsterdam theater, also in New York. “Prohibition and my jokes were equally responsible in closing the place up.”

These folks build a shake roof out of steel that looks so authentic it has been known to fool termites, woodpeckers and Amish carpenters. They’ll put on aluminum sheets that appear to be asphalt shingles except they last longer and won’t blow off in a hurricane.

It’s hard to kick on a roof when you don’t have to climb around on it patching leaks. If you can spend your whole life just admiring it from the ground it’s well worth the cost.

Am I the last person in America to see “My Big Fat Greek Wedding”? If I am, then there’s no need to tell you how funny it is. Don’t expect it to get many Oscar votes though. Folks in Hollywood prefer their Weddings with more glitz and glamour. A man and a woman getting married in Hollywood, and with no children, not only is it unheard of, it’s almost a scandal.

Historic quotes from Will Rogers:

“I am a great believer in high_priced people (and things)… In the long run it’s the higher_priced things that are the cheapest.” Letters of a Self-Made Diplomat to his President, May 20, 1926

“You can take any line of business and skill and the ones who do it the best are the ones who get the most money for it.” WA #156, Dec. 6, 1925

COLUMBUS: Ohio is celebrating a birthday today. Number 200. The Governor and the Legislature are meeting down in the first capital, Chillecothe, where the state began in 1803.

Ohio is not in as good a shape today as it was then. Governor Taft spent almost all of 2002 telling how well off the state was. Folks believed him and re-elected him.

The day after the election, he discovered the state was broke. This came to him in a revelation from the state Treasurer, a fellow Republican. Ever since, the governor has been trying to lead the Legislature to the empty hole where the money used to be, but the Legislature still hasn’t discovered it. You know, if Columbus hadn’t been any quicker at “discovering” than this Legislature is, the whole country might be speaking Cherokee.

Every time the governor finds a new source of revenue to fill the hole, the Legislature says, “No, we don’t need it ’cause we can’t see the hole.”

The Governor is exhausted from all this talking and looking and leading. Why, he couldn’t blow out 200 candles, even if the state could afford a cake.

Ohio is suffering through some tough times, about the same as 49 other states. These officials elected in 2002 ain’t so sure they were the winners. They think maybe the fellow they beat was the real winner.

Ohio had another reason to celebrate today. It didn’t snow. We still have snow, plenty of it, but it did get warm enough to melt some. March didn’t exactly come in like a Lamb, but after suffering the Lion’s roar the better part of three months, today at least compares favorably to a baby goat.

Arnold Schwartzenegger’s Body Builders and Fitness fanatics are in Columbus, about 70,000 of them. If that ain’t enough muscle for you, every high school wrestler in the state is here for their tournament. If it snows tomorrow, and there’s a 50-50 chance, we’ve got plenty of strong men and women to shovel sidewalks.

Maybe we should send Arnold to Baghdad. Mr. Hussein was eager to chat with Dan Rather, and debate George Bush, but whether he’d want to be in a room alone with Arnold, I’ve got my doubts.

Saddam has other worries. There’s a dark moon on Monday. That might be a good night for him to surround his bed with a bunch of those human shields. If one of those laser bombs can burrow through twenty feet of solid concrete, I don’t know how much good they will do him. Maybe if he can get them real close together, because they’re awfully hard-headed. Nothing gets through.

Mr. Rogers died this week. Fred Rogers (no relation) was on television for thirty years, and what your children saw on the screen was the way he lived his life every day. He may not have brought the fame and fortune to Pittsburgh that an Andrew Carnegie or Mr. Mellon or Terry Bradshaw did, but no man brought more love and respect to the neighborhood.

Historic quotes from Will Rogers:

“I went down to Columbus, Ohio. That’s the town where the Capitol is located in a big square, and a lot of squirrels running all around. Well I never saw the squirrels looking as poor. You see the State Legislature has been out of session. They haven’t had a single thing to gnaw on.” WA #151, Nov. 1, 1925

COLUMBUS: I put down the snow shovel long enough to write to you. It’s bad enough here, but a whole lot worse other places, maybe where you are. There’s places where trees knocked down power lines, and no electricity for a week. No telephone. No internet. No running water, except what they run down to fetch from the river.

The only relief for some was the mailman. He managed to complete his rounds, delivering the spring catalogs and the Swimsuit issue. Those girls brighten up a room better than a kerosene lantern.

Folks in the middle west are ready to trade their snow shovels for a golf club.

Speaking of golf, Anika Sorenstam is practicing to take on Tiger and the boys in Ft. Worth. She’ll beat some of those guys. When Switzerland wins a yacht race it don’t seem so far fetched. In fact, next time there’s an Olympic bobsled race, you might want to put some money on Jamaica.

I’ll keep this short so you don’t have to refuel the generator on my account.

Historic quotes from Will Rogers:

“(We’re) right in the middle of the Olympics… About ten days ago before it started why one day out at our studio they brought all the girl athletes out there for lunch and to see the studio… You musent miss meeting this Texas wildcat (Babe) Didrickson, she just believes that she can do anything, and the funny part about it is she can. There is none of the sports that she can’t do and do well. She is an athletic marvel. Played ten games of golf and makes it in 82. They say that’s pretty good. I don’t play the game, but they say it is. She is within three fifths of a second of Helen Madison’s (swimming) record.
This old Texas girl said she would ride, rope, or play polo against me, and I bet she could beat me in any one of ’em. I sure don’t want to get mixed up with ’em in any of these games, or out of ’em.” WA #502, August 7, 1932

“Say “Babe” Didrikson (Zaharias) scaled over another bunch of hurdles yesterday. This time it was the A.A.U.’s that got down on their all fours and she hopped right over them… “Babe” has always beat women. This is the first time she has ever entered the male ranks and showed them up.” DT #1993, Dec. 23, 1932