An old/new immigration plan

Eight senators are working on an immigration plan. Big business and labor unions seem to agree with them on allowing the ones who already sneaked into the country to become citizens eventually. How will this turn out?

Let me tell you a true story about illegal immigration. Once upon a time, a nation prospered in peace and affluence for many years. But trouble lay just across the border. In the neighboring land people eyed the vast inviting lands with envy. Small numbers of “intruders” would sneak across the boundary, and the government would catch them and kick them out. But many avoided detection and more followed.

Before long the intruders were pouring in. Some were there legitimately as employees, but others sneaked in. Quite a few were criminals. The biggest business in the nation lobbied relentlessly to allow even more intruders.

Finally, a prominent local citizen got so annoyed he wrote a letter to his national leader. “Are we powerless to enforce our own laws? Are we to submit to such great wrongs by these men who are not citizens? Our laws are not enforced. How in the world can we hold up as a nation when our officers don’t respect the law and the oath they have taken to uphold the law.”

Seeing the looming conflict, the U. S. Congress jumped into the fray, led by a Senator from Massachusetts. Should this prosperous, peaceful nation receive assistance in protecting its borders? After much debate Congress made a pivotal decision: they sided with the intruders.

What? How could Congress make such an outrageous decision? Well, since Congress put itself in the middle of this illegal immigration issue, they created a Commission to negotiate with a delegation of representatives from the nation. One of those representatives was the “prominent local citizen” quoted above. He soon became peeved at the delegation’s inability to agree on what their position should be.

It took Congress five years to reach a decision, but they forced the end this “nation” as we knew it. In 1898 a bill was signed by President McKinley that abolished the laws of that nation.

So who were the main “characters” in this story? The Senator from Massachusetts was Henry Dawes, head of the Dawes Commission. The big business encouraging the Intruders was the Missouri Pacific Railroad. The 1898 bill was the Curtis Act. The Intruders were mainly from Kansas and Arkansas.

And the “nation?” It was the Cherokee Nation, part of Indian Territory which in 1907 became the state of Oklahoma.

The “prominent local citizen” (who also helped write the state constitution for Oklahoma), was Clem Rogers, Will’s father.

March 17, 2013

Will goes to Ireland for Spring Festival

COLUMBUS: I just returned from three days in Ireland. But there’ll be no jokes about TSA or middle seats or green beer because this Ireland is in West Virginia. Every year the country folks around Ireland hold an Irish Spring Festival in the old 2-room schoolhouse they turned into a community center about thirty years ago.
Let me tell you about this festival. Every year they elect a king and queen and that election funds the whole year for the center. Yes, this election is different in that every vote costs a penny. At only a penny a vote, no one is left out. They start by selecting 3 candidates each for king and queen. The candidates are picked based not for their desire for a taste of royalty but for their “maturity” and willingness to have their arms twisted to run.
The oldest king was a 99-year old everyone knew as Uncle Bill. He had lived in that neck of the woods for all but a couple of years when he was in Europe helping us defeat Germany in World War I. No one ever had the nerve to ask the age of the queens.
The secret to the financial success is that you can vote early and as often as you want, with as many pennies as you wish to drop in the can. Or dollars. Nobody knows who’s ahead because the money doesn’t get counted until the “polls” close. And all the money goes to support the community center.
Just think, if we elected our President that way we could reduce the federal deficit. They say the candidate who collects the most money usually wins; this way it would be guaranteed. Everyone would contribute because, win or lose, it goes to a good cause. If the Koch Brothers or Michael Moore want to give ten million dollars for their candidate, let ‘em. Instead of it being wasted on TV commercials and annoying phone calls the money would go straight into the Treasury.
Here’s another idea the government could adopt. Nobody at the community center gets paid. Everybody volunteers. And nobody ever applied for a big government grant to organize the community. If they need to add a room, someone with a sawmill donates the lumber. Need to expand the parking lot? A bulldozer shows up, followed by dump trucks full of gravel. Once in a while the organizations that meet in the building – 4-H Club, Lions, CEOS – put on a pancake breakfast or ramp supper to make a little extra money.
Back to the Festival… after the new King Andrew and Queen Elizabeth were crowned, the fun included square dancing, Irish costume contest, hayride, Irish road bowling, bingo, a duck race in the creek and a parade on the main highway.  There’s gospel singing and harp music in the nearby Methodist church. The festival will end Wednesday with a climb to the Blarney Rock on top of a hill in front of the center. In the parade, the King and Queen rode in style on a John Deere Gator. But they’ll have to walk up to the Blarney Rock to celebrate the vernal equinox; the hill is too steep and the path too narrow for a Gator.
Everyone has a high old time at the Irish Spring Festival, and without the aid of liquor of any kind, a rarity for anything Irish.

Historic quote by Will Rogers:
“I have been in twenty countries and the only one where American tourists are welcomed wholeheartedly by everyone is in Ireland. They don’t owe us and they don’t hate us.” 
DT #3, Aug. 1, 1927

#750, March 10, 2013

Filibuster returns to the Senate

President Obama’s luck on the sequester keeps getting worse. Just when he was ready to agree with the Republicans that it won’t hurt much, he cut us all an hour. We’re all sleepy headed and a bit dazed, hoping he will give it back next fall. But don’t count on it. He may hold that hour as ransom till we agree to give up some beloved tax deductions.
I read where 5000 illegal immigrant criminals were turned loose. President Obama said we can’t afford to feed ‘em. So he let ‘em out with the understanding that when the sequester ends, they agree to return to prison.
The President has started talking to Republicans instead of throwing (verbal) stones at them. He invited a dozen or so to dinner at an expensive restaurant to discuss how to save money. Well, right there’s an idea. Next time make it a potluck picnic on the White House lawn. Mrs. Obama can provide the fresh vegetables from her garden and every Senator can bring a meat dish from his home state. Make homemade ice cream for dessert with everyone taking a turn at the crank. That’ll do more for reaching an agreement than haggling over who pays the tab for an overpriced dinner ever could.
New York Mayor Bloomberg has spent all his energy lately banning salt, fat, and big drinks with sugar. Fortunately for New Yorkers, alcohol is still available, in any size.
Meanwhile 80 percent of the students graduating from their high schools cannot read and write well enough to enter college. Shucks, 30 percent can’t read the name of the high school on the diploma when it’s handed to ‘em. That’s why the graffiti is indecipherable. Even the ones that write it can’t read it.
Over in Rome, a bunch of men are meeting to select a Pope. That’s the same way we used select a President, or at least the nominees. The individual parties would meet and argue and horse trade until everybody had dropped out except one. Those were the famous “smoke-filled rooms” you’ve heard about. But the only smoke you’ll see from the Cardinals is after they’ve voted. They burn the ballots in an old wood stove, and if they have not reached a decision, they throw an old tire in with ‘em so it puts off black smoke. This can go on for days until two-thirds finally agree on one man. Then they want white smoke so they burn the paper ballots without having to round up another old tire. The Catholics learned this smoke signal system from the Indians.  I’m guessing the whole world will learn of the decision within a second or two of the first sight of the smoke, showing you that old traditions can survive along side new technology.
Senator Rand Paul of Kentucky took the Senate floor for an old fashioned filibuster. He wanted the President to guarantee that no American, even a terrorist, would be killed by a drone on American soil. Sounds reasonable, but he had to stand there and talk for 13 hours without a break of any kind (yes, not even for that). Finally, Obama took pity on the poor soul and sent the Attorney General over to agree with him.

Historic quote by Will Rogers:
“I suggested a plan one time to shorten Senate debate. Every time a Senator tells all he knows, make him sit down.  That will shorten it. Some of them won’t be able to answer roll call.”
 Radio, April 27, 1930

Writing a column that’s shorter, yet longer

In honor of our officials in Washington, this article is 2% shorter than last week. But it is still 3% longer than a year ago.

Unlike Washington, I’ll include the important stuff, if any, and leave out the part you might prefer to never be bothered with.

Last week I was kinda wondering what would a President Romney do in this economic standoff. Well, today he was interviewed on television and here’s part of what he said (paraphrased): Washington is wasting a perfect opportunity to solve a long term problem. That opportunity is being squandered by politics. It’s time for the President to put politics aside and lead. Nero is fiddling while Rome burns.

Of course it’s easy for the fellow who’s out to offer advice to the one who’s in.

Did you notice, President Obama has backed off his scare tactics from a week ago. Before the sequestration deadline hit, I compared his economic aptitude to a man running a restaurant with 2 cooks and 10 waitresses, and if tough times forced him to lay off 2 employees, he would lay off the cooks. But when March came, and the sky didn’t fall, he wised up a bit. And I think he would figure out a way to maybe layoff one waitress, or perhaps keep everyone around while he worked harder to attract more paying customers to the diner.

Here’s some good news. The Keystone Pipeline got a thumbs up from the new Secretary of State. The government finally figured out there are thousands of miles of gas and oil pipelines cutting across the Great Plains without any disasters. One more pipeline won’t hurt. But the EPA is still dragging its heels; they can’t decide if Canadian oil burned in the United States would raise global temperatures more than burning it in China.

Did you hear about this Harvard guy, Dr. Samuel Betances, who has made millions of dollars from the government conducting so-called “cultural diversity training?”  He was taped berating agriculture department employees for discrimination against Indians, African-Americans and Mexicans that occurred a hundred to four hundred years ago. No doubt that discrimination happened. However instead of spending millions of our tax dollars, why not have the government heads send an email to their employees with this message: Previously, our government has from time to time discriminated against certain races. If you’re still doing it, cut it out!

Here are some cuts to the Defense budget that even Republicans can agree on. First,… oh, shucks, I’m out of space. Goodbye till next

Historic quote by Will Rogers:
“(The list of new Cabinet members) shows us that three of ‘em escaped from the Senate. That’s like going to the Old Men’s Home to get an athlete.”  DT #2046, Feb. 23, 1933

Oh, the pain of sequestration

COLUMBUS: President Obama introduced us to the word “sequestration” a year and a half ago. Most of us already think it should be banned. Never has there been so much hassle over so little. It’s like a millionaire’s divorce where they argue for weeks over who gets the lawn mower.

President Obama returned from a golf weekend in Florida and criticized Congress for not taking the issue seriously. He said,  “These cuts don’t have to happen.” He’s right. The sequestration plan was his idea; he can admit it was a bad plan and withdraw it. But why would he do something so logical when he has the voters behind him and Republicans over a barrel.

Of course, Democrats say the Republicans were happy to fully support the President’s sequestration plan in 2011. And they were. But that was because they thought a Republican would be elected. It does make you wonder: What would a President Romney do?

The President gave out numbers today on how much the $85 Billion sequester would cost each state in lost federal funds. For Ohio, he said 350 teachers would lose their jobs and 2500 Head Start students would have to stay home. On the other hand, consider the president’s proposed solution which would raise about $58 Billion in taxes and cut an equal amount of spending. Does that mean Ohio would lose 200 teachers? And 1500 students? Of course not. In either case, a good governor and legislature would find other places to cut, to minimize rather than maximize the pain.

At a time when everyone ought to be looking for ways to save, the President is sending plane loads of Washington officials to visit 100 cites and advise them on applying for more federal dollars. Most of the 100 mayors are already good at begging for money, and getting it, but the President believes there is always room for improvement. Is Senator Tom Coburn the only person who thinks this is silly?

Ben Bernanke and the Federal Reserve are running a printing press, printing $85 Billion a month in $20 bills. Can’t the president tap into part of that loot to cover the shortage? So what if it’s counterfeit. Just slip a few bills into the pay envelope of every federal employee. For Congress, pay ‘em 100 percent with counterfeit bills. Banks are under orders to accept them.

Abraham Lincoln won an Oscar. Can’t get more authentic than Honest Abe.

Historic quotes by Will Rogers:
“Now (Congress) wouldn’t be so serious and particular if they only had to vote on what they thought was good for the majority of the people of the U.S.” 
WA #78, June 4, 1924
 “No matter what a President does, he is wrong according to some people.” WA #352, Sept. 22, 1929
 “Actors and actresses are thick here today (at the new Santa Anita racetrack)… It’s proof positive that there is plenty of money to feed and clothe everybody. It’s only a rumor that everybody has been taxed to death.” DT #2617, December 25, 1934

Horse sense is missing in Washington

Britain is in an uproar over horse meat sold as hamburger. Poland and other parts of Europe look favorably on butchering an old horse the same as a cow. The English, however, prefer beef with their Beefeater gin.

Oklahoma introduced a bill in the state Legislature that would make it legal to process horse meat, not to eat the meat in Oklahoma, but to ship it overseas. Just not to England.

Have you noticed gasoline prices are the highest ever for this time of year and there’s no relief in sight. If they keep going up, we may need to get a couple more years out of our saddle horses before we let anybody eat ‘em.

In the State of the Union speech the main thing the President said about jobs is he wants to raise the minimum wage to $9.00. Yep, that’s a sure-fire way to get businesses to hire more people. He says he will start or expand some federal programs, but he won’t increase the deficit one dime. The deficit is already a Trillion dollars, so he’s gotta bring in some dough to cover the extra costs. He may be planing to auction off empty buildings and a lot of land out West. Of course, he’ll retain the mineral rights; he don’t want anyone drilling and adding to our supply of oil and gas.

Congress has a habit of doing dumb things. Individually, they’re pretty sharp, but together, not so bright. With this Sequestration hanging over the country again, they went on vacation for a week. And the President ain’t any better; he flew to Florida for golf lessons. Maybe he should have stayed in Washington and invited a few business folks to teach him a lesson in “cutting costs so you don’t go broke.” Congressional leaders need the same lesson. A negative score is good in golf, but not in government.

Why does this seem like December all over again? Very little work is getting done because federal workers are spending most of their time making plans to adjust to the cuts. At least they are figuring out how to cut 3% with the least damage to the public. Meanwhile the White House appears to be preparing cuts where it will do the most damage to the Republicans. Which of these choices makes the most sense to you: layoff 10,000 early-childhood teachers, or 25,000 Dept. of Education employees in Washington? Cancel food stamps for the poorest 5 million, or for the 5 million at the top income of the eligibility range?  Approve the Keystone oil pipeline, or cut 5,000 EPA employees? Oh, wait, that last one was a trick question.

The Post Office wants to reduce their deficit by eliminating Saturday mail (and cutting employees), but Congress won’t let ‘em.

Does anyone in DC have some common horse sense?

Historic quotes by Will Rogers:
“I love horses and I only ask–don’t let me know which one we are eating today.” DT#2052, March 2, 1933
 (Comments on the depression-era  possibility that his family may be forced to eat horses because that was all he raised on his ranch.)
“They used to take your horse and if they was caught they got hung for it; now they take your car and if they are caught it’s a miracle.” WA #507, Sept. 11,1932
“The British Post Office showed a profit at the end of the year of $70 million. Last year $57 million…  When you say, ‘a government can’t run a business,’ you mean OUR government can’t run it.”  DT #2380, March 20, 1934
“President Hoover (wants) to give all the lands belonging to the United States back to the individual states. But he recommends that the Federal Government hold all the Oil and Mineral rights. Well that’s just like offering a hungry man a meal and reserving the rights to issue him no food.”
 WA #352, Sept. 22, 1929

The State of the Nation: not so good

We’re going to give President Obama another chance Tuesday night to say something about jobs and the economy. Maybe he’ll take a hint from President Roosevelt in 1935 when he “dug up three new initials for a new unemployment work program” (the Works Progress Administration). The aim of the WPA was that people receiving relief would instead be  doing some useful work that would help the country.

President Obama might propose spending more money for teachers and federal workers and windmills, but I doubt he’ll offer any plans that will put folks receiving food stamps and welfare to work doing something productive. What about the 8 million receiving disability payments? That’s double what it was a few years ago, and yet no one at OSHA has been fired. Seriously, we have the safest work environment in history. How do so many get mangled and beat up so horribly they can’t recover and return to work?

I read that young folks today are running up debt at such a high rate they will likely still be deep in debt when they die.  And contrasted to the older generation, they don’t seem to care. Now where would they get the idea that “spending doesn’t matter?”

Remember last week when we were all joking about the Super Bowl power outage? Everyone’s saying, we can’t let anything that bad happen again. Well, next year the Super Bowl will be played in New Jersey. Outdoors. If you think a 30-minute lights-out delay is the worst that can happen, how about a blizzard?

Did you watch the Grammys? Sure glad CBS sent a memo telling those wayward kids how to dress for TV.  Some of the female singing stars were upset because they had to buy underwear. Entertainers who are mad at the CBS dress code are demanding that from now on the Grammys be shown on HBO. I was wondering, what would CBS do if Lady Gaga showed up, shall we say, out-of-code? Turn off the lights?

Historic quotes by Will Rogers:
“The rest of the country knows the condition of the country, for they live in it… but (Congress) has no idea what is going on in America. So the President has to tell ‘em.” 
WA #371, Feb. 2, 1930
 “(President) Roosevelt stepped to the microphone last night and knocked another home run… Some people spend a lifetime juggling with words, with not an idea in a carload… He took a dry subject and made everybody understand it.” DT #2061, March 13, 1933
“There is not a single person that knows any more about what (this year) has in store for us than a billy goat. Ten million people have gone without work for three years just listening to ‘big men’ solve their problems.” DT #2000, Jan. 1, 1933
 “We ain’t getting anywhere, but we are having lots of fun thinking we are.” DT #1308, Oct. 2, 1930

So God made a Farmer, by Paul Harvey. Presented by Dodge Ram

COLUMBUS: Harvard University, which has produced more Presidents and Congressmen than any other school, kicked out 60 students for cheating on a final exam. The class they cheated in was “Introduction to Congress.” Introduction? Those students acted like they were already IN Congress. These poor students, they should have stayed honest at least until they got to “Advanced Congressional Ethics.” That’s where they learn how to commit chicanery surreptitiously so they can still get re-elected.

What Harvard ought to be teaching ‘em is economy and accounting. Not just Harvard, but  Yale and Princeton and the rest of ‘em that proudly send their grads to Washington. Maybe the Ivy schools are teaching ‘em, but they seem to forget all they learned when they get within ten miles of the Potomac. Budget? Who needs a budget. Debt? We still have a credit card, don’t we.

All I know is what I read in the paper, and today the McClatchy Newspapers informed us that the federal debt is not so dire. They say it’ll be at least 10 or 20 years before we turn into Greece. Boy, that’s encouraging. They say recent deficit reduction actions by Congress and the President, if I got it figured right, means the total debt in 2023 will only be about $28 Trillion instead of $31 Trillion. The article went on to say we might want to “tweak programs” to reduce spending a bit, such as reducing the inflation index for Social Security and cutting farm subsidies. Sure, that’ll fix the economy.

Speaking of Social Security, if the age for receiving those retirement payments had been indexed for longevity when it was passed in 1935, the age when you could start receiving it today would be 81. Now, I’m not suggesting that, but 70 years ago for every person receiving a payment there were 16 paying in, and now it’s down to 2. People are already delaying retirement plans, so raising the age to 72 for S.S. (and Medicare) is not so outrageous.

In the Super Bowl, the Baltimore Ravens built a big lead, the lights went out, and then they held on to beat the favored 49ers, 34-31. For those of you who only watched the game for the commercials, the best one was Paul Harvey’s “So God made a Farmer”, by Dodge Ram. The most puzzling commercial was the Goat for Sale. Is a goat eating a lot of Doritos supposed to represent an endorsement? Goats will eat anything: weeds, tin cans, old tires, and they have been known to chew on electric lines. (That may explain the lights going out.)

Did you watch the Puppy Bowl during halftime? As I understand it, the purpose of having 60 puppies frolicking on a “football field” was to encourage adoption of those puppies and others across the country. This may be more entertaining than a lip-syncing Beyonce (or even a lip-singing Beyonce), but honestly, I like the Bikini Bowl better, with or without the option of adoption.

Historic quotes by Will Rogers:
“The government can help us on everything — if we just furnish ’em the money to do it with.”
 Undated notes
“There is not a man in this country that can’t make a living for himself and his family. But he can’t make a living for them AND his Government, too, not the way this Government is living. What the Government has got to do is live as cheap as the people.” DT #1990, Dec. 20, 1032
“We cuss ‘em and joke about ‘em, but they are all good fellows at heart; and if they wasn’t in (Congress), why, they would be doing something else against us that might be worse.” Saturday Evening Post, July 24, 1926

Real questions for Obama & Clinton

#744, January 27, 2013

COLUMBUS: This was quite a week for President Obama and Secretary of State Clinton. The Inauguration was Monday, the Congressional investigation of Hillary Clinton was Wednesday, and their 60 Minutes interview was Sunday.

A highlight for the president was during the parade when NBC weatherman Al Roker shouted a question, “How do you like the weather?”  That question was tougher than 90 percent of the ones Steve Croft asked Sunday. Do you remember Secretary Clinton’s defiant response to a Senator’s question about Benghazi when her answer included,  “What difference does it make?” You may recall it took two weeks for her or anyone in the Obama administration to recognize that it was an organized terrorist attack on Sept. 11, and not triggered by a video, that resulted in four deaths, making it the worst diplomatic death toll in about 50 years.

Well, after showing the video of that defiant reply, Croft followed with a question that might earn him an Emmy, “How’s your health?”

Maybe that was a better question than I give him credit for. After all, when she went to testify to those Republicans she forgot to wear her football helmet. But even the Republicans only asked a couple of tough questions. Most of them made speeches and forgot to ask her anything. And the Democrats on the panel, they praised her for visiting 120 countries in 4 years, and finished by nominating her for the Nobel Peace Prize.

Why, my old newspaper friends, H. L. Mencken and Walter Lippman, would have dug into both of them. They would have asked, “Were you not informed about terror attacks in Benghazi several months before Sept. 11? If not, did you fire the person who should have kept you up to date? On Sept. 11, what actions did you take in the seven hours between the beginning and the end of the attack? ”

Then they would have zeroed in on the President. “In your Inaugural speech you hit on at least twenty different things –  gay marriage, illegal immigrants, climate change –  but you hardly mentioned the top issues for most Americans: jobs and the economy. What is your plan to tap our vast gas and oil resources, put Americans back to work, and reduce the $16 Trillion debt? Will you propose raising the eligibility age for Social Security and Medicare? If not, what new taxes will you suggest that everyone pay to cover that growing expense?”

Well, if you feel I’ve been mean or nasty or downright dirty, let me close with a clean story. It seems that several hundred cases of Tide detergent have been stolen in Colorado. No kidding. The surprise is that with marijuana now legal, there’s no need to launder drug money. Police are looking for likely thieves wearing sparkly clean clothes with no ring around the collar.

Historic quote by Will Rogers:
“Got a thrill this morning. Walter Lippman, a grand writer that I would no more miss reading than miss breakfast… Well, he had actually read something I had written about the debts. Course he didn’t agree with me. But just to be disagreed with by a man like him is a thrill.”
 DT #1966, Nov. 22, 1932

Prohibition of guns

President Obama is determined to cut down on school shootings by restricting (prohibiting?) gun sales and large ammunition clips. Now, just for a moment let’s ignore the Second Amendment to the Constitution and look back at 1920. The 18th Amendment was passed to prohibit alcoholic beverages. How did that work out?

Here’s Will Rogers’ take on it, from a little book called, The Cowboy Philosopher on Prohibition: “Maine and Kansas were the first Prohibition states, now look at them. Maine was noted for two things, one was drinking awful whiskey and the other was shooting another hunter. If it had not been for the hunting season in Maine and the early deaths from bad whiskey, Maine would have had a population now almost equal to Rhode Island.
“The principal industry of Kansas was bootlegging. The only way you could tell a Citizen from a Bootlegger in Kansas was the bootlegger would be sober. The Booze they sold was so strong they had to dilute it with alcohol.
“The minute Prohibition goes in, I can see Cincinnati seceding from the Union. Ohio was voted Wet by the people and Dry by their mis-representatives. Pretty tough on the Columbus, Ohio, saloon men; they have to close just when that big Methodist Conference meets there.
But the minute they get Prohibition they will hop on to something else. I see where they propose to stop Cigarettes first and then Profanity. They are going to have a tough time with that profanity, cause as long as there is a Prohibitionist living there will be profanity.”

Prohibition lasted until 1933 when the new president, Franklin Roosevelt, said, “Let ‘em drink.” Later that year the 21st Amendment was ratified to officially cancel out the 18th. During the intervening years, crime soared, Al Capone and other gangsters got rich from selling illegal liquor, and people that wanted to drink still did. Prohibiting guns would be equally successful.

My son was watching the Inauguration events this weekend and asked me, “Isn’t it ironic that the First Lady waited until the debate on guns to wear BANGS?”

While the President has zeroed in on gun control, the really big problems are debt and the economy. People are more scared of losing a job (or not getting one) than of getting shot. The General Accounting Office is the CPA for the country (when they aren’t throwing extravagant parties for themselves) and they came out with a dire warning, “Absent policy changes, the federal government continues to face an unsustainable fiscal path.” What that means is: We are spending too much, we have promised to spend more in the future, and there won’t be enough money in the whole country to pay the bills unless we cut our spending.

Football has boiled down to two teams in the Super Bowl. San Francisco vs. Baltimore, with two brothers facing each other as head coaches. That’ll give us something to talk about other than Lance Armstrong and that Notre Dame player and his imaginary girlfriend.

Historic quote by Will Rogers:
“(President) Hoover hadn’t been sworn in three minutes before he waded into a topic that Mr. Coolidge had never mentioned in six years. That was Prohibition.”
 DT #812, March 4, 1929