Author: Randall Reeder

Weekly Comments: New Jersey suffers a blow, gains an island

COLUMBUS: New Jersey suffered another blow this week. The FBI rounded up about 50 mayors and legislators for corruption. The only surprise is that five rabbis got in on the graft.

New Jersey hasn’t been the same since Sam Goldwyn moved the movies to Hollywood, and Henry Ford loaded Edison’s Menlo Park on railroad cars and hauled it to Dearborn. Half of the state is fine farm ground, but the other half is mainly used to bury the bodies.

In a related story, Cesar Chavez of Venezuela announced that his personal oil company, Citgo, is donating an island to New Jersey. I bet most of you didn’t know Mr. Chavez owned any American soil, but he does. Pettys Island is situated in the Delaware River and sorta protects Philadelphia from New Jersey. Nobody lives there and if George Washington had known about it when he crossed the Delaware he could have used it as a rest stop. But George never saw it because it was dark.

Lately it got a lot of attention from Realtors, dreaming of selling lots. It seems many folks would like to live on the island, I suppose because they figure technically it’s not in either New Jersey or Pennsylvania.

Chavez wants to rip out the oil refinery and leave the island as a park and wildlife refuge. With this latest round of crime, what New Jersey needs it for is a prison. Think Alcatraz East. Cut an entrance door into those big oil storage tanks and shove a dozen crooked politicians in each one. If they run out of room, maybe Rockefeller will donate a few tanks from Standard Oil of New Jersey.

Sarah Palin turned Alaska over to the Lt. Governor today. She gave a speech, didn’t say much, but invited everyone to visit Alaska. I may take her up on it. Next August would be a good time to go. I want to take a plane up to Barrow, but not a small one.

President Obama is pushing Congress to come up with a health care plan this week. He won’t tell them what he wants, so they have to guess. Congress was hot on the idea of taxing anyone with health insurance worth over $40,000 a year till they realized they were included, and cooled off on that plan. Now, giving everyone equal health care is a good theory. We feed the poor, but not the same food they eat on Martha’s Vineyard. We want everyone to have shelter, but won’t give ‘em tile roofs and silk sheets. We want everyone to have an aspirin for a headache, but million dollar surgeries? Well, that’s pretty much what they’re arguing over.

Historic quotes from Will Rogers:
“New Jersey broke a life long precedent last week.  She made the front page without a murder.” WA #11, Feb. 25, 1923

“Theories are great, they sound great, but the minute you are asked to prove one in actual life, why the thing blows up.” DT #2205, Aug. 28, 1933

Will makes jokes at Treasury’s expense

COLUMBUS: At a time when the government is ordering big companies to cut back on frivolous expenses, why along comes news that the Treasury Dept, that’s in charge of all this debt we’re racking up, wants to hire a Cartoonist. The whole idea is, to relieve their stress he is supposed to kinda make fun of the workers dealing with this Trillion dollar deficit, and get them to laugh at themselves. You know, to laugh even more than they are currently laughing at the taxpayers for taking on this humongous debt.

Well, a Senator got wind of it (and who knows more about frivolous spending than a Senator), and they canceled the plan. But there’s good news for these forlorn federal money changers. At no cost to the Treasury, every newspaper cartoonist in the country will draw something that’ll remind them to be happy they even have a job. And a few of us who aren’t cartoonists will toss in a humorous jab now and then to help lighten the mood.

Congress and Treasury Secretary Geithner didn’t much care for my plan last week to cover the uninsured. They came out with their own plan: to cover all your medical costs while you’re living, they take everything you’ve got left when you die. It’s kinda like the plan drawn up by a Treasury Secretary 74 years ago. (See below)

I can’t finish without writing about Walter Cronkite. I got to meet him a few years ago when he talked at an Ohio Broadcasters convention. I asked him if he knew he was born on the birthday of another legendary American, Will Rogers. He seemed surprised, but I’m guessing he knew and just temporarily forgot it. Mr. Cronkite may have died today at 92, but he won’t be forgotten, temporarily or otherwise.

Historic quotes by Will Rogers:

(The Secretary of the Treasury Morgenthau) “came out with a plan to put a bigger and better tax on these big estates: an inheritance tax. On an estate of say $10 million, why the government will take about 90 percent of it, giving the off-spring 10.  And on estates of a 100 million, 200 million, a billion, and like that, well, the government just takes all of that and notifies the heirs, ‘Your father died a pauper here today.  And he’s being buried by the Millionaires’ Emergency Burial Association.’
Now mind you, I don’t hold any great grief for a man that dies and leaves millions and hundreds of millions and billions.  I don’t mean that.  But I don’t believe Mr. Morgenthau’s plan will work, because he gives figures in there that shows what this new inheritance tax would bring in every year.  He says in 1936 we get so much, in 1938…  He give these figures to show what it will bring in every year, that is, as long as the Democrats stay in.
He seems to know just who’s going to die each year.  And how much they’re going to leave.  Now, brother, that’s planning, ain’t it, when you can figure out that!  Now suppose, for instance, he’s got scheduled to die J. P. Morgan.  He’s got him scheduled to die on a certain year.  And you can bet, if they can arrange it, they’ll have him die while the Democrats are in, so they can get the benefit of that estate anyhow, see? Now, according to plans, J. P. Morgan has got to die in order for Mr. Morgenthau to reach his quota for that year.  Now I think Mr. Morgan is a nice man and his patriotism might compare with some of the rest of us. But whether he’d be patriotic enough to want to die on this year’s schedule just to make Morgenthau’s budget balance, I’ve got my doubts. That’s asking a good deal of a man to just die right off just so I can balance my budget.  He might be rather unreasonable and not want to do it.  I say, old men is contrary.  And rich old men is awful contrary.  They’ve had their own way so long…
So in order for Mr. Morgenthau’s plan to work out, he’s got to bump these wealthy guys off, or something.  Well, now, the government’s doing everything else, you know, but there is a Humane Society.” Radio, April 28, 1935

Will offers health care plan: adoption

COLUMBUS: T. Boone Pickens is back in the news again. With Congress working on a bill to replace coal with wind and sunshine, Boone cancelled his plans for installing 600 wind machines in West Texas. Now there’s as much wind as ever around Lubbock and Amarillo, and you can’t find a better place to set up gigantic windmills. Only problem is, where they need electricity is East Texas, and nobody has volunteered to pay for the transmission wires.

So Boone is looking for a home for his wind machines. Frankly, a perfect location for half of ‘em is downwind of Washington. You’ve got both the source and the need in the same vicinity. As for the other 300, I’m open to suggestions.

Congress figured out how to pay for health care for 50 million people without insurance: let the rich cover ‘em. According to the plan, any family making over $350,000 will be asked to contribute. The government collects the money, then after taking out the overhead, doles it out to the uninsured whether they want it or not.

I think a simpler plan would be adoption. We have about 1 million who are wealthy enough to be the “payers”, and 50 million “payees.” So I suggest each rich payer kinda adopt 50 payees. Set it up like one of these dating web sites, call it www.healthEharmony.com, and let each of our wealthy select their 50. Maybe some millionaires could adopt 100, like Jay Rockefeller and Warren Buffett (and Boone Pickens if he ever sells his windmills). My plan eliminates the middleman and minimizes the operating cost, assuming we can find someone to build the web site for less than $18 Million, which seems to be the going rate in Washington.

To be fair, the first ones to choose can’t just pick up 50 young, healthy guys who don’t expect to ever see a doctor till they’re at least 80. No, they can take about ten of those, but the other forty are split between the unemployed, those too sick to work, and our so-called undocumented immigrants.

The only problem is gonna come when another 50 million or so see this adoption plan as such a good idea they want in on it. I’m not sure families making, say, $200,000 are going to look favorably on adopting their share.

How’s this for stimulating jobs? General Motors got $20 Billion more from the government, and announced they’re cutting 6000 salaried workers and maybe 20,000 more in factories. At least they’re out of bankruptcy, and they’ll do all right if they can keep running the company from Detroit instead of Washington.

Historic quotes by Will Rogers:
“Everybody says, ‘Where’s the money coming from we’re spending?’  Well, I don’t know, but just offhand, I’d say it’s coming from those that got it…. There’s one good thing about the American form of government. The fellow that’s got nothing, he don’t pay nothing.” Radio, April 7, 1935

U.S. Senate gains another humorist

COLUMBUS: Al Franken finally got into the Senate. It was a tight race, and it took the lawyers eight months to figure out who won because they were getting paid by the hour. The Republicans in Minnesota set a record in a losing cause: the most money ever spent to keep a comedian out of the Senate.

Dan Thomasson, a fine syndicated newspaper columnist, quoted “me” in his article Sunday, “Al Franken, the comedian turned politician, should be right at home in Congress, which Will Rogers once described as the greatest collection of humorists in the world.” Well, Dan, I appreciate the mention. You’re right, I did refer to Congress a number of times as a bunch of comedians, but never did I use “greatest.” They’ve got too much ego as it is.

If you’re in the Southeastern states, keep an eye out for eight bicyclists who are riding from North Carolina all the way to Oklahoma on the “Trail of Tears.” In case you don’t remember your history, President Andrew Jackson got the Indian Removal Act passed by Congress to make all Indians move west of the Mississippi River. The Supreme Court, under John C. Marshall, said, “No, you can’t do that.” But ole Andy defied the Supreme Court, and had the Army round up the Cherokees and four other tribes at gunpoint and forced them to leave their homes and head west. About one out of every four Cherokees died before they reached what is now Oklahoma. So if you live near that route through Georgia, Alabama, Tennessee, Missouri and Arkansas, keep an eye out for those bicycles and clap as they go by.

California is putting on a memorial service for Michael Jackson. Gov. Schwarzenegger missed a big opportunity to trim the state deficit. More than a million and a half people wanted to come to Los Angeles for the service, but California only allowed 17,500. See, they should have moved it to some wide-open spot outside of town, invited everybody, and had state employees run all the concessions. By monopolizing the sales and stretching the service to 3 or 4 days, why California could have cleared a billion dollars just on cold drinks.

Governor Palin announced she is resigning. She hasn’t called me to explain why she’s quitting, so I’ll just let the other commentators do all the speculating.

Historic quotes by Will Rogers:

“Politics is the best show in America and I am going to keep on enjoying it. So on with the show…. One thing about the Democrats, they never put on a dull show.” WA #521, Dec. 18, 1932

“Compared to (Congress) I’m an amateur, and the thing about my jokes is they don’t hurt anybody. You can say they’re funny, or they’re horrible, or they’re good, or whatever, but they don’t do any harm. But with Congress every time they make a joke it’s a law… and every time they make a law, it’s a joke.” Radio broadcast, May 5, 1935

Congress to replace oil from overseas with wind from Washington

COLUMBUS: I flew back from Reno Thursday after contributing slightly to the local economy. The Reno Gazette-Journal reported their state economy is so bad they are laying off university professors.

Then I read in the Columbus newspaper that the Ohio Governor plans to solve the state budget problems by – now get this – introducing slot machines. Considering the shape Nevada is in, with their millions of slot machines, I rather doubt they will do much to close a $3 Billion gap for Ohio. But give the governor credit; all five days I was gone he was on the job, working. No side trips to South America.

In Washington, while President Obama had everybody focused on changing health insurance, Congress passed a bill to make all our best fuels more expensive. Now I don’t mean to sound like a Rockefeller in singing praises of oil (and coal and natural gas for that matter), but the reason oil is so popular is because nobody has discovered anything better. You may remember that before crude oil started oozing out of the Pennsylvania hills, we depended on whale oil. It didn’t take an act of Congress to get us off whale oil (although if our current Congress had been around at the time such a bill would have at least been introduced). Their heart may be in the right place; they think our part of the planet is getting warmer, and they did have the good sense to wait to pass it until most of the country was wilting at 90 to 100 degrees.

The Senate hasn’t seen the bill yet, so there is some hope for common sense. A young friend of mine sent a note that “Passage of the Cap and Trade bill and continued federal debt would mean we are trading our dependence on oil for dependence on credit.” Of course the ones we will depend on for loans are China and India. They’ll have plenty of extra dough because they don’t have a Cap and Trade bill.

On Saturday I was at a reunion of some older folks, and they aren’t too thrilled either at the direction the country’s headed. They remember when electricity was a luxury and more people walked than drove. They probably got by on 20 percent of what they use now, which is what the President wants us all to do by 2050.

Last week we lost Ed McMahon, Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett. They all made millions, but two of the three died a pauper. They’ll all be missed in their own way.

Next Saturday is Independence Day. As we celebrate, remember the ones who sweated over the Declaration of Independence in 1776, and those who have fought to preserve it since. The women in Iran understand that independence from tyranny is worth fighting for.

Historic quotes from Will Rogers:
“There is one rule that works in every calamity. Be it pestilence, war or famine, the rich get richer and the poor get poorer.  The poor even help arrange it.” DT #1019, Oct. 31, 1929
“Never blame a legislative body for not doing something. When they do nothing, they don’t hurt anybody. It’s when they do something is when they become dangerous.” DT #1038, Nov. 22, 1929
“… reunions… To talk of old times with old friends is the greatest thing in the world.” WA #169, March 7, 1926

PETA flies in the face of common sense

COLUMBUS: Over in Iran we have thousands of democratic-minded people taking to the streets to battle the government over actions of Ahmadinejad.
Meanwhile in this country we have PETA rising up in indignation over the actions of President Obama. This PETA organization, with the full backing of the (fake) Humane Society (HSUS), has decided that the Iran uprising, North Korea nuclear blasts and Trillion dollar deficits don’t matter as much as the life of one pesky house fly.
Instead of swatting these endangered critters, PETA wants the President and the rest of us to carefully trap annoying house flies, mosquitos, fleas and gnats, then provide them nourishment and comfortable quarters until enough have been rounded up to justify a drive to the country. Then, when a suitable farm habitat has been spotted, said critters will be released and shooed in the general direction of the nearest livestock, farmhands or vacationing dude ranchers.
If you have previously contributed to PETA and HSUS, and find that your views on the care and feeding of house flies and mosquitos are opposite to these organizations, I suggest you ask for return of your money. Maybe half of what you get back  you can donate to those Iranians endangering their own lives to fight for democracy.
Meanwhile California has shut off the irrigation water to farmers who grow a big chunk of our food. And the reason given is nearly as foolish as the house fly killing controversy: they are saving all the water for a little minnow. Now I’ve got nothing against this particular minnow; mixed in a salad, they could be mighty tasty. But I rather doubt that even with the most prolific animal husbandry, you could produce enough of these minnows to replace the nourishment being lost from those dried up farms.
I’m headed to Reno tomorrow for a convention of engineers. Reno’s next door to California, but they continue to provide water to anyone who needs it. Reno was once known as the divorce capital of the country but other states horned in and that business dried up. Today they’re hoping to get back into it, starting with their own U.S. Senator.

Historic quotes from Will Rogers:

[Letter to President Coolidge, vacationing in Vermont] “Well, I guess by the time this reaches you, you will have brushed all the Chiggers and Fleas and Mosquitoes off of you, and are back in the White House with nothing to worry you but Farmers and Democrats.  If it had been me, I believe I would have stayed up there all year.” Saturday Evening Post, August 1926
“They no more than stop Cal [Coolidge] from fishing with worms than he goes out with flies and catches even more. If they stop his using flies, why, he is getting so Western that he is just liable to pull out his .44 and shoot a flock of fish, or take down his old lariat and [rope] enough for dinner. There’s no stopping the man. He is a modern [Teddy] Roosevelt.” DT #303, July 12, 1927
 “People don’t change under governments. Governments change, but the people remain the same.”  Saturday Evening Post,  Dec. 4, 1926

Weekly Comments: Confused about Inflation? Worry no more.

    COLUMBUS: I read in our newspaper that two brothers were arrested for printing money on their home computer. It was $20 and $50 bills, and they said their main goal was to buy a car. When the police asked how they figured to get away with it, the older one said, “The President is printing a Trillion dollars to stimulate the economy, so we’re helping him with a few thousand.”

Inflation won’t make your cash holdings as worthless as those fake bills. And if  you’re broke, inflation don’t worry you. But if you’ve saved a little nest egg, and didn’t lose it on Wall Street, why I don’t blame you for being concerned. Deflation is easy to manage; just put off buying anything as long as you can because it’ll be cheaper next week. But for inflation, the trick is to buy something now that will go up faster than the dollar goes down. Probably “my” advice from 1930 is just as good today: buy land because they aren’t making any more of it. Go out in the country and find a few acres. Even if it don’t make any money, but you can always walk on it.

There’s 180 acres in Pacific Palisades, California, that Gov. Schwarzenegger has about decided ain’t worth walking on, at least not for a few years. It’s the Will Rogers State Park, and along with another 200 parks, it may be shut down. I hate to go against a governor, but parks ain’t the problem in California, it’s people. Not people in general; there’s just too many people on the state payroll. If the governor fired the ones that aren’t working at all, he could save enough to operate all the parks. And  he could balance the entire state budget if he let go all the ones that ain’t worth what they’re being paid,  including two-thirds of the state Legislature.

If Donald Trump can fire Miss California, why can’t the Governor give the axe to a few hundred thousand. (Most people think Donald should have kept Miss California, and fired the judge, but that’s a story for another time.)

The Palau Islands won the Gitmo Lottery. This is not like the lottery won by the young rancher in North Dakota. They gave him a check for $235 Million, and by the time he got it to the bank it was only $85 Million. Palau won $200 Million from us, and all they have to do is take care of 17 Gitmo prisoners. Palau gets the entire check, over $10 Million a terrorist. If this news gets back to the other Gitmo terrorists they’ll all ask for their $10 Million and promise to head directly to one of those South Pacific islands, for life.

The Los Angeles Lakers won another basketball championship tonight, winning in Orlando. They asked Kobe Bryant where he’s headed now. “I’m going home; I’ve already been to Disney World.” Earlier the Pittsburgh Penguins won the hockey title over Detroit. You know, it’s the middle of June. It’s time to put away the winter coats and move on to baseball.

Historic quotes from Will Rogers:
“My old friend [newspaper columnist] Arthur Brisbane accused me good-naturedly of being worried over this Inflation. I wasn’t worried. I was just confused. There is quite a difference.
When you are worried you know what you are worried about, but when you are confused it’s when you don’t know enough about a thing to be worried.
But Arthur, even my confusion is all over now. Everybody that I meet has explained this whole inflation thing so clearly that now I am going around explaining it myself.”  DT #2096, April 23, 1933

“To inflate or not to inflate, that is the Democratic question. Whether it’s nobler in the minds to suffer the slings and arrows of southern politicians, or to take up inflation against a sea of economists, and by opposing, end them.
To expand, to inflate, to inflate perchance to dream. Aye, there’s the rub.
For in that sleep of inflation, what dreams may come, puzzle the will and make us doubtful whether to bear those ills we have, or fly to others we know not of.” DT #2225, Sept. 20, 1933  (Yes, Will Rogers knew his Shakespeare)

Weekly Comments: Need a job? Become a Czar.

WILDCAT, West Virginia: More people are losing their jobs every month. Seems like the only profession with immediate growth potential is Czars. If you ever wanted to be a Czar, now’s the time. Just write the President and tell him what particular chunk of American enterprise you want to mold to your own liking. If no one else thought of it, you’ve got a chance.

He already named a Car Czar and one for health insurance. There’s even a Czar in charge of the Great Lakes. Any man that can make those lakes rise and fall at will deserves to be called Czar. Or even King. Nothing needs a Czar more than California, but who would take it in its present state? Maybe Michael Moore, but it was him and a few others that helped put it in its present state.

Oil is up to $70. Did you notice this spring that every time some prominent economist predicted “Oil will maintain a steady price through summer,” they tacked on another $5 a barrel. But we’re looking at the wrong side of the equation. When oil climbed from $40 to $50 to $60 and so on, it ain’t just because oil is getting more valuable. No, it’s because our dollar is getting less valuable. Old man inflation is lurking behind every bush ready to pounce.

Our newspapers and television won’t give up calling this H1N1 flu “swine flu” instead. A few people have died, but not a single hog. The only effect the flu has had on swine is to lower the price the old farmer gets for his hogs. Maybe next time we can call it “oil flu”, and it’ll have the same effect.

Dairy farmers are losing money on milk and culling their cow herds. I believe there’s just as many people “Got Milk” as ever. They’ve got it, they just aren’t drinking it. The old rancher is losing on his cattle too, because once this beef gets to the grocery store, nobody can tell a Holstein from a Hereford.

President Obama’s speech in Egypt went over with the Muslims and Arabs. Whenever he said something complimentary about Islam, he got applause. Whenever he said something complimentary about America they ignored him. Al-Qeida gave the opposition response. They said, “Don’t listen to these Americans. We’re the ones who know what’s good for Muslims, not some man named Barrack Hussein Obama.” Maybe they should have left off that last part.

The reason I’m reporting from Wildcat, is I’m here today with family and friends on a small hilltop cemetery honoring those who lost their lives in wars. Yes, this Decoration Day is later than for most of you, but a few days difference don’t matter to the eight with small American flags by their headstones, including seven from the Civil War. The ceremony was not as elaborate as the one yesterday for D-Day in France, but just as respectful.

Historic quotes from Will Rogers:

“One of the very next things Mr. Roosevelt is going to do, so I was told in Washington on the best authority, was to appoint an oil czar. No industry needs a warden worse.” DT #2112, May 11, 1933

[A woman visiting New York claims] “to be the Czarina of Russia, of course that was in case Russia ever decided to have a Czar and a Czarina. It would be about like me announcing that I had decided to be King of Oklahoma (in case, of course, Oklahoma ever decided to have a King).” WA #107, December 28, 1924

“Steak on the plate went up, steak on the hoof went down.” WA #118, March 15, 1925

Weekly Comments: Obama’s plate full with GM,  judge, nukes and expensive date.

COLUMBUS: Whoever said, “As General Motors goes, so goes the Nation” sure hit it right. GM is bankrupt, and at the rate our government is spending and printing money, the Nation soon will be, too.

GM will be 70 percent owned by the United States, and the United States will be 70 percent owned by China. When China runs out of cash to loan us, we’ll just crank up the old printing press. By the end of the year, economists say we will borrow $1,000,000,000,000 and xerox another $1,000,000,000,000.

If you’ve got, say, $100,000 holed away for your retirement, with inflation don’t count on living high on the hog. In ten years it may take $100,000 just to buy a new Chevrolet. Hang on to your house because that new Chevy, proudly designed in Washington, will be way too small for sleeping.

The President nominated Judge Sonia Sotomayor for the Supreme Court. She appears to be a fine, experienced judge. Others were also available, but he figured Puerto Ricans have been here over a hundred years, and there’s never been one on the Supreme Court.

I’ve never heard anyone stand up in Washington and say, “Let’s name an Indian to the Supreme Court. They’ve been here longer than anyone.”

The President has his hands full. North Korea and Iran are racing each other to see who can be the biggest annoyance with nuclear weapons. So he’s headed to Egypt and Saudi Arabia to try to line up some help in corralling those two. Osama bin Ladin and the Palestinians are still drawing attention. Pakistan needs propped up. Joe Biden and Nancy Pellosi can’t pass a microphone without yowling in it. About the only ones he has no worries about right now are the Republicans. They’re content to battle each other.

President Obama took Michelle on a date to New York City, including dinner and a Broadway show. Some people criticized him for a trip that cost about $100,000. But let me ask you, fellows, if you had a chance for a Saturday night “date” with a First Lady, wouldn’t you want to spend a little extra to make sure she had a delightful evening?

At least this time, when Air Force One flew to New York City, the President was on it.

Historic quotes from Will Rogers:

“We’ll hold the distinction of being the only nation in the history of the world that ever went to the poor house in an automobile.” Radio broadcast, October 18, 1931

“But poor Mr. Hoover! Whoever he appoints [to the Supreme Court], that Senate will hold a two weeks’ clinic over the body. Just offhand, Lindbergh would be the only one I know of that they might let pass. And I’ll bet there would be a couple object to him.” DT #1130, March 10, 1930

Will offers his view of the economic situation

COLUMBUS: Washington had good news this week for folks that like to spend and spend and put it on their credit cards. If you get behind and miss a payment or two, it won’t matter. The other card holders will carry you.

Secretary Geithner wants to put a cap on bankers’ salaries. When a man is borrowing half of all the money he’s spending, he probably shouldn’t rile the bankers. On the other hand it seems like a good idea; I’ve sure told my share of jokes on the bankers. And suppose they take this salary cap all the way to Hollywood. Whether Barbara Streisand or Tom Hanks could get by on $500,000 a year, I got my doubts.

A bunch of Chrysler dealers are being shut down. General Motors is closing a bunch more. I’m partial to Ford, but this ought to be a good time to buy a new Chrysler, and maybe a Pontiac. These dealers only have a month or two to get rid of the cars, so they’re dealing. Besides, with this new announcement from Washington you can put the full cost on your credit cards and maybe spread the payments over ten or twelve years.

This whole situation defies logic. If you want to sell more cars, give your customers fewer places to buy ‘em? But entice them with easy payments that can last way longer than the car.

Keeping Islamic terrorists at Guantanamo is looking like a better deal. Europe complained about the prison for years, but when European countries were offered a chance to take a few of the prisoners off our hands, they turned us down flat. When it comes to war, Europeans are good talkers.

If we’re forced to take those terrorists into one of our 50 states, I propose Nevada. I don’t have anything against Nevada; it’s a great state for gamblers, divorcees and wild horses. There’s no place lovelier than Lake Tahoe. But we have spent $10 Billion in Nevada, mainly tunneling out a huge storage space under Yucca Mountain for nuclear materials. Senator Reid says he will never accept a single pound of nuclear material, so I would propose a deal. Either give us back the $10 Billion, or take the prisoners.

It’s the cheapest place to store these terrorists. Build a steel gate across the entrance and put them in there. Once a week bring in a truck with plenty of food and water. Let ‘em take care of each other. No guards inside. Or lawyers either. Yucca Mountain was designed to hold nuclear waste for millions of years; it can easily hold these Gitmo prisoners for a hundred.

On our money problems,  we’re always saying this high debt will be tough on our children and grandchildren. But the way it’s going lately, it’s us, too. With this spending drunk we’re on, it won’t wait for us old folks to die off naturally. What inflation doesn’t take from us, higher taxes will.

Now I’ve always been an optimist. But it’s getting tougher when our leaders in Washington tell us the whole country ought to be like California.

Historic quotes from Will Rogers:

“Why don’t somebody print the truth about our present economic situation? We spent six years of wild buying on credit (everything under the sun, whether we needed it or not) and now we are having to pay for ‘em under Mr. Hoover, and we are howling like a pet coon.
This would be a great world to dance in if we didn’t have to pay the fiddler.” DT #1224, June 27, 1930

 “If you got a dollar, soak it away, put it in a savings bank, bury it, do anything but spend it. Spending when we didn’t have it put us where we are today. Saving when we’ve got it will get us back to where we was before we went cuckoo.” DT #1353, Nov. 24, 1930