Author: Randall Reeder

Folks, can you believe it? We arranged a second Presidential debate between Mr. Coolidge and Mr. Roosevelt.

Will: Many folks think January 1, 2013, will bring financial calamity, with vast tax increases, funding cuts for our military and social programs, and raising the debt ceiling again. What would you do if elected?
CC: “The people cannot look to legislation generally for success. Industry, thrift, character, are not conferred by act or resolve. Government cannot relieve from toil. It can, of course, care for the defective and recognize distinguished merit. The normal must care for themselves. Self-government means self-support.”
FDR: “There are many ways of going forward, but only one way of standing still. Take a method and try it. If it fails, admit it frankly, and try another. But by all means, try something… The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today… The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.”
CC: “We cannot do everything at once, but we can do something at once… They criticize me for harping on the obvious; if all the folks in the United States would do the few simple things they know they ought to do, most of our big problems would take care of themselves.”

Will: No matter who is elected, you will have to deal with Senators and Congressmen of the other party. How would you approach that situation?
CC: “There is only one form of political strategy in which I have any confidence, and that is to try to do the right thing and sometimes be able to succeed… I have found it advisable not to give too much heed to what people say when I am trying to accomplish something of consequence. Invariably they proclaim it can’t be done. I deem that the very best time to make the effort.”
FDR: “There is nothing I love as much as a good fight. In our seeking for economic and political progress, we all go up, or else we all go down… I am neither bitter nor cynical but I do wish there was less immaturity in political thinking… A conservative is a man with two perfectly good legs who, however, has never learned how to walk forward.  (On the other hand) a reactionary is a somnambulist walking backwards.”

Will: Somnambulist? I’ll have to look that one up later. Congress is debating the new Farm Bill. Mr. Roosevelt, I believe the very first Farm Bill was passed under your watch.
FDR: “Yes, prosperous farmers mean more employment, more prosperity for the workers and the business men of every industrial area in the whole country… A nation that destroys its soil destroys itself.”
CC: “Agriculture in America has been raised to the rank of a profession. It does not draw any artificial support from industry or from the Government. It rests squarely on a foundation of its own. It is independent…  Although it is gratifying to know that farm conditions as a whole are encouraging, we ought not to cease our efforts for their constant improvement.”

Will: What’s your stand on labor unions?
FDR: “If I went to work in a factory the first thing I’d do is join a union.”
CC: “There is no right to strike against the public safety by anybody, anywhere, any time… This country would not be a land of opportunity if the people were shackled with government monopolies.”

Will: Closing comments?
FDR: “We are trying to construct a more inclusive society. We are going to make a country in which no one is left out.”
CC: “You can’t know too much, but you can say too much.”

The 2012 election: Coolidge vs. FDR

Calvin Coolidge and Franklin D. Roosevelt were both President (separated by Herbert Hoover). They never ran against each other.  Until now. Yes, this is their first ever debate. I will ask the questions.

Will: Mr. Coolidge, you are known as Silent Cal. Is that because you are frugal with words?
CC: “I have noticed that nothing I have never said ever did me any harm… Don’t you know that four-fifths of all our troubles would disappear if we would just sit down and keep still?”
FDR: I agree. My motto as a speaker is: “Be sincere; be brief; be seated.”

Will: Sounds like good advice for any candidate. Mr. Roosevelt, what is your opinion of the 2010 Health Care law?
FDR: “Are you laboring under the impression that I read these? I can’t even lift them.”
CC: “It is much more important to kill bad bills than to pass good ones.”

Will: Our economy is not so great today. How would you improve it?
CC: “I favor the policy of economy, not because I wish to save money, but because I wish to save people… Civilization and profits go hand in hand…. The business of America is business.”
FDR: “I pledge you, I pledge myself, to a New Deal for the American people. While they (talk) of economic laws, men and women are starving. Economic laws are not made by nature. They are made by human beings. Competition has been shown to be useful up to a certain point and no further, but cooperation, which is the thing we must strive for today, begins where competition leaves off.”

Will: What about the national debt?  To reduce trillion dollar deficits, do you favor more taxes on the wealthy?
CC: “Don’t expect to build up the weak by pulling down the strong… Wealth comes from industry and from the hard experience of human toil. To dissipate it in waste and extravagance is disloyalty to humanity… There is no dignity quite so impressive, and no independence quite so important, as living within your means.”
FDR: “Taxes shall be levied according to ability to pay… Over ninety percent of all national deficits from 1921 to 1939 were caused by payments for past, present, and future wars…The test of our progress is not whether we add more to the abundance of those who have much; it is whether we provide enough for those who have little.”

Will: What is the proper role of religion in America? In our government?
FDR: “I am a Christian and a Democrat, that’s all. Whoever seeks to set one religion against another seeks to destroy all religion… Physical strength can never permanently withstand the impact of spiritual force. ”
CC: “Our government rests upon religion. It is from that source that we derive our reverence for truth and justice, for equality and liberality, and for the rights of mankind. Unless the people believe in these principles they cannot believe in our government… It is hard to see how a great man can be an atheist. Without the sustaining influence of faith in a divine power we could have little faith in ourselves.  ”

Will: Closing comments?
FDR: “When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.”
CC: “I want the people of America to be able to work less for the government and more for themselves.”
(Note: the “quotes” are authentic.)

COLUMBUS: John Edwards was set free. The jury figured a man with a mistress who went through a million dollars in a year, well, he’s been punished enough.  The trial stretched out to six weeks, and the only question they had to decide was this: did Mrs. Mellon give John Edwards a million dollars because he was running for President, or because she thinks he’s cute? In other words, would she have written such a check if he was not a candidate at the time?
In Egypt, Mr. Mubarak did not get so lucky. He was found guilty of killing thousands of demonstrators last spring and got life. Oddly, the ones working for him that were on trial were declared innocent. Mubarak was quite a President, but I rather doubt that he personally did all that shooting and killing.
Employment numbers came out and the economy appears to be getting worse. Fewer people have jobs and that makes it tougher on the ones still working.
No only are there fewer jobs, we have fewer millionaires and billionaires, and the ones we’ve got are losing money. Look at Mark Zuckerburg. He lost another ten billion last week on top of the ten billion the week before. If Facebook keeps dropping at this rate, by the end of the summer he will have to go back to Harvard and try to invent another company in his dorm room.
Now, no one is feeling sorry for a rich man who comes up a couple million short. Unless of course he was the one paying your salary. And that’s the bind we’re in. We’re supposed to dislike the wealthy and love the poor and downtrodden. The problem is, the poor never hire anybody. They can elect ‘em , but not hire ‘em.  And that’s why there’s so many with no job.
In Wisconsin they are voting Tuesday on whether to let out the governor early or make him work all four years. Gov. Walker has had a tough run. He has worked to streamline state government and the ones being streamlined don’t like it. If he gets thrown out, that’ll be another one standing in the unemployment line.
The U.S. Treasury is selling bonds at an interest rate so low it can hardly be called interest. It’s more like saying, “Give us $1000, we’ll hold it for 10 years, and promise to give you back the full $1000.”  Well, the way the stock market is moping around, this may be the best deal you can get. Like I stated in a movie one time, “I’m more interested in the return of my money than the return on my money.”
Queen Elizabeth is celebrating 60 years of wearing the crown. That’s a record that stands up there with Cal Ripken and Hank Aaron, except she didn’t have to show up at work every single day or hit home runs. Being a Queen, she mostly just stands and waves. She has been a good Queen though, no personal scandals, and she keeps her husband in line. However, she goes through $80 million a year, which makes our GSA seem like pikers. Maybe she should give tours of Buckingham Palace for $10 a person and make royalty a paying proposition.

Historic quote by Will Rogers:

“These (poor) people that you are asked to aid, why they are not asking for charity, they are naturally asking for a job. But if you can’t give them a job why the next best thing you can do is to see that they have food and the necessities of life.” Radio, Oct. 18, 1931

Notre Dame sued the government over the President’s health care law. Secretary Sebelius told them, “You can claim a religious exemption if you are one hundred percent Catholic.” Notre Dame says, “If we only enroll Catholics, we wouldn’t win enough games. There are plenty of good Catholic football players but sometimes we need to bring in a Methodist or two, maybe even a Southern Baptist.”

Forty other colleges, hospitals and charities operated by religious organizations jumped in, too, because they don’t want anybody telling them they can only deal with people of their own faith. It’s hard enough in this country to get folks interested in religion without Washington throwing up roadblocks.

Here’s another lawsuit. People who got to the front of the line to buy shares of Facebook are mad because in a week they lost (on paper) one dollar for every five they invested. Looking back on it, all I heard from various business news folks on TV for the last month or two was, “Stay away from Facebook.” Even Warren Buffett said he was not interested in buying. So you got no more right to complain about Facebook than if you lost big betting on Bodemeister in the Derby and Preakness.

Hardly any of the recent IPOs for internet tech companies has made any money, except Google.  Of course it’s not just the internet companies; GM is way below it’s initial price, and we’re all stuck with that investment whether we wanted it or not. Buying Ford stock would have been a better bet.

You have to sympathize a bit with Mark Zuckerberg. You remember he got married the day after Facebook shares sold for $38. Well, how many brides do you know who would stand by their man if, in the first week of marriage, he lost ten Billion dollars?

You have heard of Pakistan. It is located between India and Afghanistan and we have been paying ‘em about two Billion dollars a year to be our friend and help fight Al-Qaeda. Well, we have been suckered again. They hid bin Laden for years, but with the help of a local doctor we finally tracked him down. Instead of giving that brave patriotic doctor a medal, Pakistan gave him 33 years. If they won’t release the doctor immediately, I suggest we stop payment on our check, and instead give an extra Billion to India and say, “Sic ‘em.” If India keeps the Pakistan army occupied on the south border, maybe we can take out more terrorists along their north border and give the Afghans a chance at peace when we leave in a year or two.

Syria is causing problems but we’ve got our hands full. It’s Muslims vs. Muslims as it usually is in that region. Muslims seem to divide up just to have someone to fight against. We don’t understand it any more than we would if the Presbyterians and Lutherans declared war on each other. Iran is raising a ruckus, but we got Israel keeping an eye on them for us.

Historic quote by Will Rogers:
“There’s one thing no nation can accuse us of, and that is secret diplomacy. Our foreign dealings are an open book, generally a check book.”  WA#45, Oct. 21, 1923

Chicago was in the news this weekend. The city hosted a huge convention of thousands and thousands of protesters. At the same time, a small group of NATO country leaders met there, too.

These protesters replaced Al Capone and the bootleggers in drawing attention to the city. But give the Chicago police credit; after eighty years of failure they figured out how to solve the problem. Every protester had his own cop.

In addition to these hoodlums, the nurses union was protesting. Now, nobody in the world is more deserving of praise than nurses, so I can’t exactly figure out what they were after. They claim they want a “Robin Hood” tax to be collected every time somebody trades a stock. And they want some of the loot to go into the nurses’ pension fund. So instead of Robin Hood, it should be the Florence Nightingale tax. But I don’t think it will pan out for ‘em because their pension funds are invested in those same stocks that they want taxed every time they are traded.

Bill Clinton jumped up and said reducing the federal debt should be the top priority for the president and Congress. But President Obama is not concerned with debt; remember a couple of years ago he asked Alan Simpson and Erskine Bowles to come with a plan. They did and he ignored ‘em. Nobody likes to tell folks how bad their debt is, especially if they want to get re-elected.  I think you’ve got to get people’s attention and then inspire ‘em to solve the problem.

Here’s my plan. President Obama should announce that on July 1 the federal debt will be divided evenly among living Americans. Every man, woman, child, grandchild… everybody gets their share. That’s about $50,000. Ok, now he has their attention. Next he will say, “In October we need to raise it to $55,000. And if you re-elect me, it will soon go to around $70,000.”

You’ll hear a howl like a stuck pig, “What do you mean, I owe $50,000? And soon to be $70,000? If it’s my debt, I want it to go DOWN, not up.”  See, right there the President’s got the answer. He can call in Simpson and Bowles and Congressman Paul Ryan and Boehner and Pelosi and say, honestly, “These folks want their debt reduced. How can we do it?”

Of course the president won’t do that. And I wonder if  Mitt Romney would either. Ron Paul would, but it’s too late for most of these “debt holders” to change their vote.

With this kind of personal debt prospects, that fellow from Facebook would not be the only one moving to Singapore. You would be surprised how many thousands of families, many with unpaid student loans and underwater mortgages, would be planning a one-way trip.

Historic quotes by Will Rogers:
“I was in Chicago. There was a few murders while I was there but not enough to keep up the town’s reputation.”  WA #280, May 6, 1928
“Just passed through Chicago. It’s not a boast, it’s an achievement.” DT #1079, January 9, 1930

COLUMBUS: President Obama announced he’s for gay marriage, just like he was 15 years ago. See, he was for it before he was against it, and now he’s for it again.

He forgot to mention it is also a Jobs Plan because it will get wedding planners off unemployment lines. Hardly anybody has been getting married. The whole wedding business has been in the dumps, along side manufacturers of buggy whips, rumble seats, and LP records. That’s why the average wedding cost has jumped to $25,000. When a wedding planner can only find a half dozen couples willing to get hitched, they have to take in enough to last all year.

Of course more weddings will lead to more jobs for divorce lawyers. They are getting geared up for the influx. Some will be handing out their business cards at the reception.

The baby business in this country was on the rocks until someone said it’s ok to have a kid without being married. Today that accounts for nearly half of the baby food and diapers sold.

Hollywood held a fund-raiser and came out strong for gay marriage. Can anyone remember the last time Hollywood said something favorable about marriage? Seems the only way to get anyone in Hollywood to marry is to offer ‘em a million dollars for the wedding photos. George Clooney and his fellow actors  raised $15 million for President Obama. George could have covered the whole check himself, just by signing on for another movie.

West Virginia held an election Tuesday that drew almost as much attention as Senator Lugar’s defeat in Indiana. A fellow named Keith Judd got on the ballot against President Obama and got forty percent of the vote.

A lot of voters apparently saw the name Judd, guessed he’s a country music singer, and figured he’s better than a Chicago lawyer. It was only after the election, where he won 10 of the 55 counties, that someone discovered he’s in prison. But really, why hold that against him; look at all the elected officials that end up there. And several others ought to.

Well, I know the real reason Mr. Judd got so many votes. It’s like I said on the radio in 1935: “In this country people don’t vote for, they vote against.”

JPMorgan Chase Bank admitted Thursday they lost $2 Billion in three months on a bad bet, and three or four people in charge have already been let go. Our federal government goes in debt $4 Billion every day, and nobody in charge has been let go.

Historic quote by Will Rogers:

“If sentiment at [election] time is strong enough against Roosevelt, why the Republicans can nominate Shirley Temple and win with her.” Radio, June 9, 1935

COLUMBUS: President Obama declared May 5 the official start of his re-election campaign. So any political comments and promises made previously are not official.

He started his campaign by speaking to college students in Ohio and Virginia. I think he wanted to offer encouragement to ‘em before they move back in with their parents for the summer. Or longer.

His theme is: “Forward!”  You may say it’s not inspirational. But it sure beats Backward. Maybe they will add other words to Forward. See, in 1924 the Democrats used “Economy” as their theme to take on President Coolidge, and they got burned. So in 1992 Bill Clinton changed it to: “It’s the Economy, Stupid.” So, how about “A Big Step Forward”, or “Forward Pass”, or “Paying Forward”, or “Charging Forward”, or “Looking Forward to Prosperity.”  “Forward Ho!” has a nice ring to it, but the Secret Service might object.

Mitt Romney has not announced a theme. You might remember a 1928 Republican theme: “A chicken in every pot, a car in every garage.” I doubt if Mr. Romney will use anything connected with cars and garages.

Sometimes it seems that the only millionaires allowed to run for President are Democrats. Franklin Roosevelt was President during the Depression, and no one complained about his family wealth. Did anyone ask President Kennedy how many cars were parked at Hyannis Port?  Or what Jackie’s clothes cost? Yes, John Kerry was criticized in 2004 after he married into the Heinz family fortune. And Mrs. Obama received some barbs for wearing expensive shoes.

Frankly, if a rich man or woman, Democrat or Republican, wants to pay $900 for a shirt or buy diamonds at Tiffany’s, that’s fine. It’s their money, and they probably paid cash. But when the government decides to spend an extra Trillion dollars a year, “charged forward” on a Chinese credit card, it doesn’t seem fair to our grandchildren.

France held their election six months before ours. Sarkozy had been trying to pull the country out of their unemployment doldrums and deficit problems so it would not collapse like Greece. But he lost to a socialist, Mr. Hollande, who campaigned on a promise to raise income taxes to 75%, lower the retirement age by two years, and increase government spending. Hollande proclaimed, “Austerity is dead.”  President Obama immediately invited him to the U.S. for a NATO meeting, an economic summit, and to ask for advice on campaign tactics.

Sarkozy lost the election, but as long as he doesn’t lose his young wife he’s happy. Don’t be surprised if rich Frenchmen learn to speak English and move to Florida. Or if our tax rates go up to match France, maybe the Cayman Islands.

Historic quotes by Will Rogers:
“Mr. Owen D. Young invited me to annoy on this program this evening. You all know Mr. Young. He’s the sole surviving wealthy Democrat.”  The President’s Organization on Unemployment Relief Broadcast (radio), Oct. 18, 1931
 “These (unemployed) that you are asked to aid, why they are not asking for charity. They are naturally asking for a job. But if you can’t give them a job why the next best thing you can do is see that they have food and the necessities of life.”  Same broadcast.

April 29, 2012

COLUMBUS: President Obama has been flying around the country, speaking to college students about paying off their loans. He told them he plans to keep their interest rates low. But kinda subtly, I think a lot of students thought he said, “Re-elect me and if you don’t get a job, I’ll not only lower your interest, I’ll cancel your debt.” He didn’t say that, but that’s what they heard.

What he should be telling them, straight out, is to buckle down, take the tough math and science classes, study far into the night, and go after a degree that means something. Then when you graduate you’ll likely have at least two good job offers to start work the next Monday.

If the President and Congress really want to reduce problems with student loans they are talking to the wrong students. They should be talking to junior high, not college students.  Tell ‘em the truth about careers and job prospects and salaries. For too long these young students have been told to “just follow your interests and passions.” That’s good advice for a hobby or weekend recreation. But when it comes to careers, pick one that’s in demand and has good long-term prospects for movin’ on up.

And there’s nothing wrong with a good job right out of high school or tech school. Brother, if you can weld or operate heavy equipment, the oil and gas business has work for you, if they can keep the EPA from shutting them down.

A dozen Secret Service agents got in trouble in Columbia so now they have strict limits on their behavior. From now on, if you want to go out carousing on foreign junkets at government expense, first you have to get elected.

When that GSA administrator, Jeff Neely,  heard about the late-night escapades of the Secret Service agents, he was upset, “Dang, I spent $800,000 in Las Vegas and all I got was a hot tub, a mind reader and a clown.”

The Presidential campaign is getting downright nasty. The Number One issue facing the country this week is dogs. Not jobs. Not deficits. Not immigration. Dogs! The whole argument boils down to this: would a dog prefer to ride to Canada on top of a car, or be eaten in Indonesia.

Historic quotes by Will Rogers:

“The only salvation for the young is to increase the college term to an additional four years. .. It will save parents an awful lot of worry.  Just think of taking a son or daughter off your hands for another four years. You’ll say, “What could they learn in another four years?” Well, there must be something about making a living.” Radio, June 2, 1935

“I love a dog. He does nothing for political purposes.” DT #2288, Dec. 3, 1933

This is Earth Day. People around the world are celebrating their accomplishments in saving and caring for the Earth’s resources.

Do you know who owns and manages more of the Earth’s land area than any other private entity? Farmers. In the U.S., that’s over 900 million acres of farm land.

If you live in town and all you grow are some flowers on a windowsill you know it takes some effort to get them to grow and bloom and flourish. Here’s a question for you: next spring, do you dump out the old soil and buy a new batch for the pot? Well, farmers can’t do that. The soil they have today is the same as they had last year and will be pretty much the same in ten years or fifty years, except for what they lose in dust storms and rain storms. So farmers have a special interest in keeping their topsoil in place and making it more productive.

We heard the “Occupy Wall Street” folks complain about the “1 percenters” with all the money  and how the other 99 percent deserved a big chunk of it. You might be surprised to learn about a totally different group of 1 percenters in this country. That 1 percent is the farmers that grow and provide the food for 98 percent of us.

A friend of mine, Ed Winkle, wrote me that the best thing he has ever done for conserving Earth’s resources, and saving his own farm, was learning to no-till. (In case you don’t know, no-till means the farmer plants directly into undisturbed soil rather than plowing it first. Weeds are controlled with a few ounces of herbicides.) Ed said his dad rented a no-till corn planter in 1976 and the farm has not been plowed since.  No-till saves soil, oil and toil and raises a profitable crop.

Good weather this spring has crops ahead of schedule. Almost half the corn has been planted and it ain’t even May. Wheat in the Plains states looks great. Last year, it was so dry in Texas and Oklahoma, a farmer had to cover ten acres to get enough wheat for a loaf of bread.

Historic quotes by Will Rogers: (35 yrs before the first Earth Day)

 “Flew through these dust storms last night with the pilot flying entirely by instruments. It’s a terrible thing, and it’s going to bring up some [peculiar] cases in law. If Colorado blows over and lights on top of Kansas, it looks like Kansas ought to pay for the extra topsoil. But Kansas can sue ‘em for covering up their crops… You’ve got to put a brand on your soil, then in the Spring go on a round-up looking for it.” DT #2697 March 28, 1935

 “We’re just now learning that we can rob from nature the same way as we can rob from an individual.  All (the pioneer) had was an ax, and a plow, and a gun, and he just went out and lived off nature.  But really, he thought it was nature he was living off of, but it was really future generations that he was living off of.” Radio, April 14, 1935

COLUMBUS: The campaign for President has come down to a clear choice between President Obama and Mitt Romney. Americans have been saying for a long time their main issues are jobs, reducing the deficit and health care. The voters have six months to figure out which one has the best plan to lead the country.

President Obama officially proposed the millionaire’s tax he has been campaigning on for awhile. He wants anyone who makes a million dollars to pay 30% income tax. Fact is anyone receiving a million or more in salary is already paying over 30%. Folks like Warren Buffett and Mitt Romney depend mainly on capital gains for their income which is taxed at 15% because they already paid over 30% on it when they earned the investment in the first place.  The President says doubling this capital gains tax will cut the annual deficit by $5 Billion. When he was confronted with the idea this would cut jobs and only reduce the deficit by half a percent he said, “It’s a start.”  Really, he should have proposed 60% to make it worthwhile.

After the election look for him to admit, “Sorry, I miscalculated on the deficit reduction. I meant to say the 30% minimum tax will apply to all who make over $100,000.”

I read in the paper that over a hundred people got sick with salmonella from eating lean tuna scraped off the bones. It reminded me of the story about lean beef trimmings that got so many people hysterical it can no longer be sold. Hundreds of beef packers lost their jobs even though it never made anybody sick. Maybe treating tuna with a little ammonia and irradiation ain’t such a bad idea after all. Call it tuna slime.

Mothers got back in the news this week. You would think anybody in politics would be smart enough to leave these women alone. Why, in the old days half the women lived on farms and nobody ever had the nerve to claim these farm women didn’t work.

North Korea is probably the least civilized nation on Earth. Today the Communist dictator celebrated the 1912 birth of his grandfather (who started the decline in 1950), while thousands of Koreans are locked away in prisons and the other 90% are starving. China, which used to be the most civilized nation on the planet, is responsible for this mess, and could end the misery starting tomorrow.  The Chinese leader needs to say the equivalent of, “ Kim Jong Un, tear down this wall.”

Historic quotes by Will Rogers:

“My own mother died when I was ten… The mother I know the most about is the mother of our little group [Betty Blake Rogers]. She has been for 22 years trying to raise to maturity four youngins’, three by birth and one by marriage.” Radio, May 11, 1930

 “In this country people don’t vote for, they vote against.”  Radio, June 9, 1935
 “Every guy just looks in his pockets and then votes.” WA #196, Sept. 12, 1926