Author: Randall Reeder

COLUMBUS: New York upset New England in the Super Bowl, 21-17, by playing great defense in the second half. The Giants have won 4 Super Bowls and the Patriots have lost 4. Do you suppose next year we might have a team in there that hasn’t made it before, say, the Cleveland Browns?

Meanwhile in politics, a fellow from New England got endorsed by a New Yorker. Yes, Donald Trump promised to sway his millions of followers to vote for Mitt Romney. Trump has billions of dollars, which makes Gov. Romney feel downright poor by comparison.

Romney won the Nevada caucus vote and Gingrich came in second. I think Romney could wrap up the nomination by announcing that, if elected, he would name Ron Paul the Director of the Budget. However, I heard a Republican voter in Florida say she wants Newt for the debates against Obama, and Romney to be the President.  I bet some Democrats would like Obama to give the speeches and let Hillary and Bill run the country.

Last fall a lot of prominent folks came out in support of Occupy Wall Street. If the mayor of New York (and other cities it spread to) had immediately shut down the rat and trash infested camps and sent everybody home it would have saved millions of dollars and let over-worked police get back to their real job of protecting the community. Instead it dragged on, and in Oakland and Washington, DC, young hoodlums now  “occupy” the Occupy movement.

Iran is kinda like those Occupiers. President Obama (and Bush before him) tried to talk nice to them about their plans for building a nuclear bomb, but talking has not worked because Russia and China are siding with Iran. Like a sore between your toes, if you don’t take care of it early, gangrene can kill you.

Our Columbus Dispatch newspaper today ran two stories side by side. In one, the Obama administration is close to allowing 400 wind turbines to be installed in the Atlantic Ocean from New Jersey to Virginia. In the other, Cuba is drilling oil wells 60 miles offshore from Florida which are expected to provide “billions of barrels of oil.”  Now I wonder, how many decades will the wind have to blow for those turbines to produce energy equal to that much oil?

Good news for our economy. We added 240,000 jobs last month. If this keeps up we won’t have to go back to horses just to put more people to work. Replacing cars with horses would create 20 million new jobs, including a million just cleaning up streets behind ‘em.

Historic quotes by Will Rogers:
“Conditions win elections, not speeches… If things are bad by next summer and fall [the President] will get the blame without the Republicans making a single speech.” Radio, June 9, 1935

 “If everybody (traded his car for a horse) they would be out of debt in a couple of years. Just think, no gas, no tires, no roads to pay for.” DT #2043, Feb. 20, 1933

COLUMBUS: The President delivered his State of the Union speech. Instead of talking about the state of the economy after three years in office, he emphasized his fairness doctrine for millionaires. With a deficit of $1.5 Trillion he wants anyone making over a million dollars to send 30% of it to Washington to balance the budget.

Sounds reasonable, but I heard Congressman Paul Ryan say that collecting 30% from those folks would only knock 8% off the deficit.

So if the President is serious, he had better go for 90 or 100% from the millionaires and 30% from everybody else. The half at the bottom that don’t pay any income taxes will holler, even if asked to contribute 5%, but it would help offset the cost of food stamps and school lunches.

The President introduced Warren Buffett’s secretary, saying the several thousands of dollars she paid last year was unfair compared to the millions her boss paid. I was wondering, did she fly commercial from Omaha, or did he send Air Force One to pick her up?

I bet if you confiscated half the wealth of the top 10% and spread it among the bottom 20%, in ten years the top folks would have rebuilt theirs, and the others would have squandered most of it.  Now, don’t tell the President or he may propose it. He would take credit for the first part, and be long gone before the ten years was up.

When the President flew to Arizona to campaign, Governor Jan Brewer met him at the airport. I don’t know what he said to her, but he was definitely not singing, “I’m… so in love with you.”

While the President favors jazz, Newt’s personal theme song is a country classic, “Please, release me, let me go.”

If you think I’m being a bit harsh on our President, it’s just my feeble attempt to balance the discussion. See, Romney and Gingrich are beating on each other so much I don’t feel obliged to add to the Republican misery.

Historic quotes by Will Rogers:

“A conservative is a man who has plenty of money and doesn’t see any reason why he shouldn’t always have plenty of money. A Democrat is a fellow who never had any, but doesn’t see any reason why he shouldn’t have some.” WA #535, March 26, 1933

“When our country does accidentally stumble on a competent man why don’t they let him alone?” DT #200,  March 17, 1927

Jan. 22, 2012

COLUMBUS: South Carolina muddied the water for the Republicans. It took about two seconds after the polls closed for them to announce the winner; in Iowa it took two weeks.
The Republicans are down to four candidates, the same four who got the most votes in the National No-Till Primary in St. Louis. In that primary, Newt announced that voters should be glad he had three wives instead of just one because a President must be good at Multi-Tasking.
So Santorum, Romney, Gingrich and Ron Paul are in a horse race as they gallop around Florida for a week. If Congressman Paul wins they will each have a victory to brag about to their contributors.
Gov. Romney finally agreed to release his income tax returns on Tuesday. We’ll learn that he made millions, donated a big chunk of it to charities, and paid a few million in taxes but not enough to satisfy a lot of people who made a little and paid nothing. Mitt is shrewd to release them just before the State of the Union address because the news will end up on the back page.
President Obama has been traveling the country gathering material for his speech Tuesday night. He spent a couple of weeks scouring the beaches of Hawaii for gems of information, visited Disney World to pick up some Mickey Mouse ideas, ate with bankers and Wall Streeters in New York City, announced some appointments in Cleveland, and stopped in Chicago to refine his message on ethics in government.
The President has pointed with pride to the 2.7 million people working on green energy. Since he is shutting down coal-fired power plants and refusing to drill for oil or pipe it in from Canada, he had better offer a plan for the government to hire about 10 million more and put them on treadmills for 8 hours a day so they can generate electricity to make up the difference. Once the folks drawing unemployment checks get wind that those are the only jobs available they will be dropping off the unemployment list even faster than they have been recently.
He will propose a plan to give more opportunities to the middle class. From now on, he will hire only those who have never earned more than $100,000 a year to Cabinet posts and various management positions in Washington. I suggest he start with EPA, Treasury, Attorney General, and the Federal Reserve.
He says he wants to promote fairness by having millionaires contribute more to the economy. Well, he should name those he feels should give up  another million dollars a year, including brokers, famous athletes, movie stars and politicians, and require them to hire 50 downtrodden families, put them to work and pay them directly. That way the money will go straight to those who need it instead of getting filtered out as it passes through Washington.
Joe Paterno died today, just a few weeks after his football coaching career ended at Penn State. It pains me to recognize his greatness because my home school, West Virginia University, contributed more wins toward his total of 409 than any other school. His death reminded me of another famous coach, Bear Bryant, who died shortly after retiring from Alabama.
The Super Bowl will be the championship of the Northeast, the New York Giants against the New England Patriots.  It seems a shame to make them go all the way to Indianapolis to play the game.  There will be a Manning at quarterback but the Harbaugh family got shut out.

Historic quote by Will Rogers:
“One of the few stipulated duties of the President is that every once in awhile he delivers a message to Congress to tell them the “Condition of the Country.” This message as I say is to Congress; the rest of the country knows the condition of the country, for they live in it.  But the Senators and Congressmen being in Washington all the time have no idea what is going on in America.  So the President has to tell ’em.”  WA #371, Feb. 2, 1930

COLUMBUS: Some folks have poked fun at our Presidential Primary conducted Friday, but let me tell you, we’ve got clout. New Hampshire brags that their primary narrows the field, but six Republican candidates went into New Hampshire, and six came out alive and smiling. But a last place finish in the National No-Till Primary knocked out Jon Huntsman. Yes, he placed third in New Hampshire and he has ten million dollars of his dad’s money to finance a campaign. But today he decided drop out, go back to Utah and talk to his dad. Even after tithing, he should have nine million in the bank. So, you ask, who won? Former Pennsylvania Senator Rick Santorum won and his friend Newt Gingrich finished second. Third was Ron Paul and the favorite, Mitt Romney, dropped to fourth. Rick Perry was fifth, leaving Huntsman sixth. While our 900 farmers were selecting Santorum, 150 evangelical preachers and other conservatives gathered in Texas to decide on their favorite. They argued all day, voted three times, and passed the collection plate twice before agreeing on Santorum. The farmers gathered in Missouri and needed only twenty minutes and one vote. And no money changed hands. You’ve heard all weekend about those 150 evangelicals, but I contend that 900 farmers have more clout. Both groups took the decision serious, but the farmers had more fun. If Santorum does well in South Carolina and Florida, you just watch, those preachers will claim they did it. But you, my loyal readers, will know who really deserves the credit. The cruise ship that crashed into an island off the coast of Italy was apparently being steered by a man who was hired as a waiter ten years ago. Because he was so good at charming passengers he  rose to captain and was put in charge of the biggest and most important ship in the fleet. Is that any way to run a cruise line? Standards & Poors announced they will drop the credit rating for half of Europe because they continue to run up massive debt. France, Italy, Greece and other countries have been warned to cut back on spending, but the folks making the financial decisions for these governments are living off the spending. Rather than cut spending, they would rather go down with the ship. Tim Tebow and the Denver Broncos kinda crashed this weekend. So did Aaron Rodgers and the Green Bay Packers, and Drew Brees and New Orleans Saints, but nobody will be asking if either of those two quarterbacks knows how to throw a pass. Historic quotes by Will Rogers: “I have always wanted to see Henry Ford elected President. Compared to the business he runs, our Government affairs would be a kind of branch office for him. When Congress got to stalling, he would go around and lift up the hood of the House or Senate to see what was the matter with it.” Radio broadcast, June 1, 1930

COLUMBUS: Mitt Romney squeezed out a victory in Iowa.  I told you someone would surge at the last second but Rick Santorum was still 8 votes short at the buzzer.
Governor Romney will also win in New Hampshire. In South Carolina, whatever candidates are left may gang up and try to shoot out the tires of the Romney bandwagon.
Now there is one extra stop for those folks, sort of, before South Carolina. This week I’ll be in St. Louis for the National No-Till Farmers annual conference and it’s become a tradition every four years to conduct a Presidential Primary election.  It will be on Friday the Thirteenth so Lord knows what calamity is likely to befall the winner.  It’s all in fun, and if any of the candidates show up they are welcome to replace their stand-ins.
Texan Rick Perry may have an advantage with this gang because he is a farmer.  But Ron Paul will counter with a plan to make these farmers rich; he plans to legalize marijuana.  Just think, if folks are making a living today growing that stuff in a basement, a farmer with a thousand acres can make a fortune. Besides the usual Republican candidates, I’m expecting a few others to show up, including Donald Trump, and even Hillary Clinton and one of Herman Cain’s old girlfriends.
I’ll report the results next week, in case you don’t hear ‘em sooner on Fox News.

“Laughing our cares away” was the front page headline in the USA Today on  Friday. The story said that comedy is more popular today because times are tough and people need to laugh. Well, I’m not surprised; it was the same during the Depression. This country’s got plenty of good humorists and comedians and we are all eager to give you something to laugh at.

Historic quotes by Will Rogers:
“Democrats take the whole thing as a joke. Republicans take it serious but run it like a joke.”
“A conservative is a man who has plenty of money and doesn’t see any reason why he shouldn’t always have plenty of money. A Democrat is a fellow who never had any, but doesn’t see any reason why he shouldn’t have some.”
“Republicans want a man that can lend dignity to the office. Democrats want a man that will lend some money.”
“Everybody nowadays is suggesting ways of getting prosperous on somebody else’s money.”
“Newspaper headline says: “Congress is deadlocked and can’t act.” I think that is the greatest blessing that could befall this country.”
“The short memories of American voters is what keeps our politicians in office.”
“Once a man wants to hold a Public Office, he is absolutely no good for honest work.”
“There’s no trick to being a humorist when you’ve got the whole government working for you.”

Jan. 1, 2012

COLUMBUS: The campaign in Iowa is coming down to the last minute. The going rate for a vote is around $100; that’s about what the Republican candidates will spend in total. The only prediction I’ll make is this: the Democratic Caucus will be won by Barrack Obama.

For the Republicans, Governor Romney could win Iowa and then sweep the primaries, but I’ve got my doubts. One thing about Mitt; the more candidates there are in the primaries, the more he likes it.

Virginia is having second thoughts about limiting their Presidential primary to only two candidates. These Republicans are spending a pile of money on their national campaigns, and Virginia wants their share. Instead of requiring 10,000 Virginians to sign a petition for a candidate, the Virginia governor (after consulting with the Tourism Board) said, “Any candidate who promises to spend a half a million dollars in Virginia should be on the ballot.”

President Obama is relaxing on a beach in Hawaii complaining that Congress is doing nothing. He didn’t say whether it was the Republicans in the House or the Senate Democrats he was upset with.  Of course a lot of the folks he is complaining about are also vacationing.

The President wants Congress to raise the debt ceiling. Didn’t they do that in August? Did I miss something? I thought they agreed to cut expenses so we could stop borrowing. As fast as the debt ceiling is being raised, in a year or two you’ll need a telescope to see it.

With shoppers doing so much Christmas buying on credit, the government isn’t the only one raising their debt ceiling.

Remember that two-month reduction in Social Security tax payments? If you’re celebrating because you get to keep an extra $400 or so in January and February, you had better not plan to buy a house in the next 10 years. If you do, and the mortgage is with Fannie or Freddie for $200,000, that reduction will end up costing you about $4000.

I read that in Oregon and Washington, the electric company is working on a plan to store excess energy produced by wind machines for later use when the wind dies down.  Now, where that plan would really pay off is Washington, DC.  Congress spews out enough excess wind, they could heat the whole town.

Historic quotes by Will Rogers:
“I told you not to be too optimistic about the Senate… We pay for wisdom, and we get wind.” DT # 574, May 29, 1928

 “Did you read all the New Year’s optimism by all our leading men and bankers? Same gang every year. Every one either a millionaire or an officeholder… Looks like just for the novelty one newspaper would print what some poor man saw in store for the coming year.” DT# 448, Jan. 2, 1928

Dec. 25, 2011

COLUMBUS: In the Christmas spirit, Republican Congressmen compromised with the Senate and President. The President wanted a 2-month Social Security reduction and the Republicans wanted 12. So they compromised on 2.

Workers will get to keep the $20 a week extra they have been getting since January, and it will be “paid for” by homeowners who take out a new mortgage over $200,000.  Let’s see if I got this straight; workers will get the same paycheck they got last year, but some homeowners will have to pay a new additional fee. And this is supposed to revive the economy?

Newt Gingrich has dropped a bit in the polls. Most Republicans say he would be the best debater against President Obama next fall. Only problem is, he has to get some votes first.

Newt got left off the Virginia ballot. He appealed, but Virginia said, “No, there is no Santa Claus.”

Ron Paul has a lead in Iowa. He’s about the only Republican who had not had a turn on top. The media have turned their guns on him, so his time as a front-runner will be short. The only surefire way to win is to make your move in the last day or two before the caucus, and hit the go-ahead basket with a second left in the game. To win Iowa, all it takes is about 35,000 folks with nothing better to do for 3 hours on a cold Wednesday night in January. But first you have to convince them, and that ain’t easy because they take Presidential politics serious.

The radical Muslims don’t care about Christmas or any other religious celebration, including their own. They killed dozens more in Nigeria, Iraq, and Afghanistan. It makes you feel sorry for the majority of Muslims who are as peaceful and friendly as the rest of us.

North Korea , Yemen, Egypt and Libya had a turnover at the top in 2011. If the dictators in Cuba, Venezuela, Iran and Syria could be persuaded to join them it would be a change for the better in world politics.

Historic quotes by Will Rogers:

“This was a very happy Christmas for me. The shirts my wife gave me were the right size for the first time since wedlock. Of course, they were the wrong color, but if married, a man must not be too particular. For awhile it looked like I would spend a perfect Christmas. Then about noon a necktie arrived.” WA #108, Jan. 4, 1925

“If I had collected for every favorable joke I have told about each one of the candidates, and if I had been paid for (every joke) I had told against each one of them, I would be a millionaire.  I have said something good about them when they have done something good, and I have knocked them when they didn’t do so good.  That is why I am generally knocking them.”  WA #100, Nov. 9, 1924

Dec. 18, 2011

COLUMBUS: Congress is still arguing over the Social Security tax relief for wage earners. Senate Democrats want it for 2 months, House Republicans for 12. They may be delaying a decision just so President Obama gets a late start on his 17-day, $4,000,000 Hawaii trip. If he was only going to Chicago, they would have let him go sooner.
Of course, Congress is hoping for a full month’s vacation. Rick Perry’s plan for Congress to work a few months every other year appeals to some of those folks. For others it would mean more work than they put in now.
Mitt Romney was on TV making his case to be nominated for President. The difference between him and President Obama kinda boils down to what you mean by the words “free” and “fair”. Mitt says he believes in free enterprise and fair taxes, while the President believes things should be free, paid for by the rich paying their fair share.
Romney offered a jobs plan; “If you want to increase employment, make tractors illegal. All farm work would have of be done by horses and plows.” Of course, he was just making a point. But I’ll go even further with his silly plan: eliminate all weed control products and hybrids and genetically-modified crops. If we did, to do the hoeing, corn shuckin’, cotton pickin’, and other chores it would require the entire population of Mexico. More than a quarter of our farm land would be needed to feed the horses and extra farm workers.
Even with all our modern technology, farmers need more workers. And the government is threatening to take away some of the most dependable workers they have: farm kids. The Labor Dept says if you’ve been driving a tractor since you were 8 or herding cattle on horseback since you were 6, you’ve got to quit. From now on they want you to wait until you’re 16.
If the Occupiers want to meet the real “one percenters”, go to a farm. Roughly one percent produce enough food that the other 99 percent of us can earn a living without having to farm too.
Time magazine named the Protesters their “Person of the Year.” In response to that recognition, the Occupy Wall Street protesters took over a church-owned piece of land, shouted obscenities and got arrested. Meanwhile in Des Moines, a band of Occupiers demanded that military spending be cut in half. In Iowa? Shucks, you could cut half of what the U.S. military spends in Iowa and it wouldn’t amount to a drop in a bucket.
Meanwhile in Egypt, Protesters are being beaten and killed. Egypt’s troops are not as kind to people hurling insults and rocks at them as our police forces are. Those folks appear to be protesting for freedom and free elections. Ours are protesting for free college degrees, free home loans, and (in one case) a living wage for tattoo artists.

Merry Christmas to you. Or Happy Hanukkah or Happy Holidays if you prefer.

Historic quotes by Will Rogers:

“Well, there is lots more good cheer this Christmas than last (or the last three) and it’s not all out of bottles either. It’s in the heart, in the confidence and in the renewed hope of everybody. Course there is an awful lot of folks that are not working… But I believe even the most down and out, while he might not see a turkey Christmas Day, he can see one in the future.” DT #2306, Dec. 24, 1933

COLUMBUS: I was in Minnesota last week, where Governor Mark Dayton says he wants to raise taxes on millionaires whether the state needs the money or not. New York and California are on the same track. If this tax-raising virus keeps spreading, we may run out of states for these rich folks to move to.

I spent one morning with the County Commissioners. I came away from their state convention convinced that if we let the local folks raise their own money and spend it on local needs, rather than trying to get some back after it’s been sent off to the state capital or Washington, why it would save enough on efficiency to make everyone better off. And counties might be smart enough to figure out ways to attract the wealthy, instead of run ‘em off.

Gov. Dayton means well, and I know he’s sincere. He and his family are heirs to the chain of Target stores so his new tax would take a chunk out of his pocket too. But there may be an ulterior motive: see, if he strips away enough excess cash from the wealthy, then like the rest of us poor folks they will have to shop at Target.

Iowa is the center of the Republican universe for the next three weeks. Basketball, Christmas presents and New Year’s parties will play second fiddle till the Republican Party wraps up their caucus election. But presidential politics won’t slow down the farmers. Hogs and Angus steers have to be fed, Holstein cows milked, and corn hauled to market.

I heard two comments on television this evening that might be classified as “motivational”. The first was, “Keep believing. Impossible things can sometimes be possible.” The second was, “Be persistent. It may take (a few years), but we will succeed.” The first speaker was quarterback Tim Tebow after another come-from-behind win by the Denver Broncos. The second was President Obama talking about job growth and the economy. Nothing against the Broncos, but I kinda wish it was vice-versa. If you’re out of work, you don’t want to wait a few years for a recovery.

When three-fourths of Americans think the country is going in the wrong direction, maybe it’s time to grab the reins and turn the lead horse. Whether we yell “gee” or “haw” may not matter, just do it now, before we go off the cliff.

Historic quotes by Will Rogers:
“You can’t have a picnic lunch unless the party carrying the basket comes.” DT #1714, Jan 21, 1932

“I generally give the party in power, whether Republican or Democrat, the more digs because they are generally doing the country more damage, and besides I don’t think it is fair to jump too much on the fellow who is down.  He is not working, he is only living in hopes of getting back in on the graft in another four years, while the party in power is drawing a salary to be knocked.” WA #100, Nov. 9, 1924

Dec. 4, 2011

COLUMBUS: President Obama is working on his Christmas gift list. He wants to give $110 Billion to American workers. He gave the same present last year when it was announced as a one-time special gift, but now he says it would be cruel to be any less charitable this year.

He seems to be depending on the generosity of our millionaires to cover the cost, unless Senator Reid comes up with a better plan. Congress has to act fast though, before those millionaires spend the $110 Billion on Christmas presents. If the wealthy of this country foolishly spend their excess cash on elaborate presents, why they won’t have enough left to help out the President. This year their friends will have to get along with new socks and a necktie.

The unemployment rate dropped to 8.6% as 120,000 found new jobs, which will give our President some relief for the holidays. The stock market is up, which will mean big bonuses for the brokers and more millionaires to contribute to the President’s Christmas fund.

In the Middle East, the radical Muslim Brotherhood won an election in Egypt, Syrian protesters are being shot by the dictator, and Iran trashed the British Embassy. Maybe the safest places over there are Iraq and Afghanistan.

Herman Cain dropped out of the Presidential race. When Bill Clinton heard the news, he simply asked, “Why?” Is it irony that the same weekend Mr. Cain quit, Tiger Woods won his first golf tournament in two years?

I’ll be in Minneapolis later this week. The folks there will teach me how to pronounce Minnesota, and I’ll try to teach them how to say Oologah. I hope to meet that Minnesota couple we hear so much about, Ole and Lena.

Historic quotes by Will Rogers:

“A conservative is a man who has plenty of money and doesn’t see any reason why he shouldn’t always have plenty. A Democrat is a fellow who never had any, but doesn’t see any reason why he shouldn’t have some.” WA #535, March 26,1933

 “People have just got to get more used to debt. Let’s all let the fellow we owe do the worrying and the U. S. will be the happiest land on earth.” DT #2421, May 7, 1934

“President Coolidge said save, and we did. And that brought on a Panic on Wall Street, for the more we save the less they got. And a Panic is better for us than it is for them, for we are more used to it. When Wall Street has a Panic the World knows it. When we have one only our stomachs know it. So there is less publicity in us having one. Wall Street can’t stand a Crisis, but we can lay right down by the side of one and go to sleep.” Radio, March 30, 1930