Category: Uncategorized

# 372, July 21, 2005

TAMPA, Fla: The news down here, besides the heat and John Roberts being nominated for Supreme Court, is turn signals. Florida has a new law that says you have to signal when you change lanes.

From now on, they’ll fine you a hundred dollars if you don’t turn on your signal. No word yet on the penalty for the even bigger problem in Florida, which is leaving it on.

Agricultural engineers and biological engineers are meeting here this week. Now, you may not know about the work of these engineers, but you sure know the benefits. Their organization, called ASABE, has almost 10,000 members in a hundred countries, and for almost a hundred years they have been working to make our supply of food more abundant, safer, and cheaper no matter where you live.

At the same time, they protect our water and air from pollution, and help farmers and ranchers improve the soil so folks a hundred years from now can still have an ample supply. Naturally, there’s plenty of scientists and others contributing, from the ones developing new seeds, to the food processors and folks working in grocery stores.

All these people together are making so much progress that our young folks in 20 or 30 years will expect food to be like music is today, just download it for free. They’ll figure out a way to get on the internet, log on and download their daily nourishment from PigglyWiggly.com, and store it, not on an Ipod but through a tube directly into their veins. That way they eliminate the inconvenience of shopping for groceries and even the trouble of chomping, chewing, and digesting. They’ll have to take up gum chewing to exercise their jaw bones.

Food’s nearly free already, compared to what it was 100 years ago. It’s kinda like the little doodads you see advertised as “free”, where you just pay small charge of $6.95 for shipping and handling. With food, you pay for shipping and handling, and then the shippers and handlers pay a small percentage to the farmers to cover the cost of producing the raw materials they’re shipping and handling.

The Tampa Tribune says Florida will pay more for hurricane insurance. Home owners up north say they are tired of subsidizing the cost of folks rebuilding their houses on the beach every time a hurricane hits. Of course there’s tornados, but not so often, and floods, but these northerners say they don’t intentionally build a half-million dollar house on a river bank.

It’s hot in Tampa, but even hotter in the our southwestern states. And farmers from Texas to the Great Lakes are still suffering from drought. Of course those folks are accustomed to some inconvenience and are optimistic they’ll eventually get rain to relieve them.

Say, here’s some good news, and it was a long time coming. From now on, July 23 will be celebrated as the National Day for the American Cowboy. So put on your boots and Stetson hat, build a campfire, and sing some cowboy songs by the moonlight. Even if you don’t have a horse, and you’ve never roped a Longhorn steer, it’ll give you a thrill because there’s a little bit of cowboy in all of us.

Historic quotes from Will Rogers:

“TAMPA, Fla.: One thing about farmers’ relief: It can’t last long, for the farmers ain’t got much more to be relieved of.
(signed) A farmer that knows,
Cocklebur Rogers” (DT #167, Feb. 11, 1927)

“Farmers are learning that the relief they get from the sky beats what they get from Washington.” DT #2445, June 4, 1934

“There is not a better day in the world to be spent than with a lot of wise old cowmen around (a campfire with) barbecued beef, black coffee and good (re-fried) beans.” DT #2430, May 17, 1934

# 371, July 13, 2005

ATLANTA: Last Saturday Hurricane Dennis was headed north and I was headed south, and we kinda met in Atlanta. I’m here for the annual convention of the National Speakers Association, with about 1500 professional speakers. In case you’re wondering, the wind outside the convention center was offset by the wind inside, so no damage was done.

Georgia got mostly rain from Dennis, not much wind. Farmers up north, from Iowa to Ohio, are praying for rain, and will gladly accept a fairly strong breeze with it as long as the ground gets soaked.

You may want to know, when you get a huge room full of professional speakers, is anybody listening? Well, yes, because when one of these top people takes the platform, everybody else becomes a professional learner. We heard Ben Vereen, Bertice Berry, and the outstanding author Andy Andrews.

And humorists galore. Judy Carter, Mark Mayfield, Dale Irvin, Tim Gard, and George Campbell from Oklahoma, who you may know better as Joe Malarky, the world’s worst motivational speaker.

A bunch of these folks can sing as well as they speak, for instance Jana Stanfield. Mike Rayburn, Ladonna Gatlin and Willie Jolly.

There’s another fine group here that you’ve heard me talk about before. It’s the Tall Women speakers, and, yes, it’s growing. They added 5 more to the group, bringing the confirmed total up to around 40. So if you stand at least 5’11” in your bare feet, and you’re a speaker of the female persuasion, the National Speakers Association has a place for you. And if you get your picture taken here with a group, they don’t make you stand in the back row.

I’m trying to keep this short. You’ve got to save your reading energy for Harry Potter.

Historic quote from Will Rogers:

“AUGUSTA, Ga: Here is my Farm Relief bill: Every time a Southerner plants nothing on his farm but cotton year after year, and the Northerner nothing but wheat or corn, why, take a hammer and hit him twice right between the eyes.
You may dent your hammer, but it will do more real good than all the (farm) bills (Congress) can pass in a year.” DT #169, Feb. 13, 1927

 

# 370, July 8, 2005

TWIN FALLS, IDAHO: If you’ve never seen the Snake River first hand, this is a good place to start. Of course the river is about 500 feet below this town, at the bottom of a canyon. There’s a magnificent bridge across the canyon heading north that connects these folks to civilization in the rest of Idaho. Otherwise about the only way out of town is by way of Nevada.

The Oregon Trail ran near here, and those old pioneers had a rough go across this barren land. West of here about 50 miles is a little town called Glenns Ferry and those folks forded the Snake River there, long before anyone thought of building a ferryboat. We have it easy today with highways and airplanes; it’s impossible to imagine how rough those folks had it. There was quite a few that entered that river that never made it across.

Water from the Snake is the lifeblood for this part of Idaho. And if it wasn’t for the big dams upstream, it would have dried up by April. You look around and any place that’s green you can bet is being irrigated from the river. That water grows great potatoes and a whole line up of other crops from alfalfa to corn to barley. That eminent domain decision the Supreme Court handed down didn’t seem to upset folks much here, because it applied to land. But try to take away a man’s water rights, and you’ll have a real fight.

The big news out here was finding that little girl up in Coeur d’Alene. Folks are so mad at that Duncan fellow for what he did to Shasta Groene, they almost forget he murdered 4 people.

Yesterday, bin Laden struck again. This time it was London. He seems to be working his way west… You know, if we could just trick him into eating at a Denny’s Restaurant, I think we would get him. Those big countries meeting over in Scotland promised to send $3 Billion to the Palestinians and $50 Billion to Africa, even after the attack. They tell me there’s quite a few Muslims living in those places. Wonder how much bin Laden has donated to help those folks.

Historic quotes from Will Rogers:

“I would just go… out to Idaho every few years… Boise is a mighty pretty little Town; I been there. Ground kinder sandy, built in on a right pretty creek, bluff up on one side.” Saturday Evening Post, Feb. 27, 1932

“POCATELLO, Idah It took me forty-eight States to do it, but I finally arrived in one where every one knows who one of their Senators is. I go to Borah’s home town (Boise) tomorrow. I want to see this place before it is made a shrine for honoring the only man in public life in his time with independent thought, when everybody else’s ideas are as standardized as Ford parts.” DT #201, March 18, 1927

“Calvin (President Coolidge) did a mighty fine job of dam dedicating here this afternoon (at Globe, Arizona). He made a dam good speech favoring dams.

The dam will open up 1,000,000 acres of new land, and there is 1,000,000 farmers starving to death all over our country on farms that’s all ready open, so it all depends on where you live, as to how you look at it.” DT #1125, March 4, 1930

# 369, June 30, 2005

COLUMBUS: This week the Supreme Court let everyone know where they stand on the Ten Commandments: If you have a government building with the Ten Commandments inside it, you have to carry them outside and set ’em on the lawn.

I think those old Justices got it backwards. You all know what the Commandments say… don’t murder, don’t steal, don’t cheat on your wife… It’s the ones inside the government that sometimes need reminding.

Inside a Courthouse is exactly where they need to be displayed. In fact I bet that when God was dictating the commandments to Moses, when he came up with “Thou shalt not lie” he was thinking primarily of lawyers.

Now the Supreme Court missed a good opportunity to settle this argument for all time, just by dividing those Commandments in two. You take 5 of them that tell us how to act in a legal way and put them in schools and courtrooms and legislative chambers. The other 5 that mainly tell us how to act toward God would go to the churches and temples.

Naturally these religions that follow the Bible would prefer to display all 10 in their buildings, and they have every right to do so. And they might agree that putting a stone tablet with Five Commandments in our public buildings is better than none at all.

Now I don’t expect unanimous support for my idea. But don’t be surprised if President Bush gets behind it. After all it’s a lot easier to explain than Social Security and the Iraq War.

Did you see Andy Rooney on 60 Minutes last Sabbath evening? He did a little commentary about attractive store fronts and mannequins. After he researched how mannequins are managed, rented, and sold he had a better understanding of the business. In fact I feel he developed some affection for his subject because he closed with some familiar words: “I never met a mannequin I didn’t like.”

Enjoy July 4. No matter where you are, America’s Independence Day is worthy of celebration. Even in England.

Historic quotes from Will Rogers:

“(The Lord) didn’t leave any room for doubt when he told you how you should act. His example, and the Commandments are plain enough.” WA # 136, July 19, 1925

“Whoever wrote the Ten Commandments made ’em short. They may not always be kept, but they can be understood. They are the same for all men.” WA # 638, March 17, 1935

# 368, June 23, 2005

COLUMBUS: The newspapers are full of missing people. That girl missing in Aruba, three boys in New Jersey, the Boy Scout in Utah (and they found him), and the Georgia bride missing for a week because she wanted to stay a Miss a while longer. No only is she still a Miss, she’s ahead by half a million dollars. There’s thousands of devoted brides that stayed put, said their “I do’s”, and what do they get? Just a husband and a new toaster.

Ohio came up missing about $12 million in rare coins. It seems that Tom Noe, who was holding ’em for the state, has been playing golf with the Governor in Toledo. If you happen to be playing golf at that famous Inverness course keep an eye peeled. See, sometimes a golfer uses a coin to mark the ball location, and maybe Mr. Noe accidently pulled one of those rare, million dollar coins out of his pants pocket, and then forgot to pick it up. Now, nobody is saying the Governor picked it up, but if he had, would he even know what he had? No one knows but Noe.

That ain’t the worst of it for Governor Taft. Ohio sent $220 million to an outfit in Pittsburgh to invest, and somehow they let it slide down to about $10 million. And they lost those millions without sending it to Wall Street, or Las Vegas, or even trying their hand at farming. Somebody ended up with that missing dough, but not Ohio.

Everybody’s telling us to “Buy American”. You know, go to Wal-Mart and Buy American. We’ve been buying all right, but it’s mostly from China. We’ve bought so much from China they’ve got most of our money, and now they’re coming over here to spend it. We buy their shirts and shoes and TV’s, and they turn around and buy our corporations. They’re starting with oil companies, which if we had been as smart as the Chinese, that’s what we would have bought instead of nick-nacks.

Basketball came to an end tonight, at least for a month or two. Everybody was missing shots, but it was the defense that done it. Detroit had the Spurs on the end of a rope, but Tim Duncan came through in the second half for San Antonio, and they won 81-74.

Historic quote from Will Rogers:

“We never will have any prosperity that is free from speculation till we pass a law that every time a broker or person sells something he has got to have it sitting there in a bucket, or a bag, or a jug, or a cage, or a rat trap, or something, depending on what it is he is selling. We are continually buying something that we never get from a man that never had it.” DT #1301, Sept. 24, 1930

# 367, June 9, 2005

COLUMBUS: It took Howard Dean and Paris Hilton to knock Michael Jackson off the front page. Can you imagine a more unlikely pair than those two? There’s plenty of folks that don’t care for what they say or do, but you’ve got to give ’em credit, they got people talking about Democrats, and washing cars.

Next time I’m in Oklahoma I’m going to the Carl’s Jr. in Claremore, order a thick burger, and offer to wash cars waiting at the drive thru. I’ll wear a bathing suit and a Stetson, and the line will stretch out into the street if Paris shows up to help. I’ll spray on the water, Paris can apply the soap suds, and the customer gets to wipe dry either his car, or Paris. There’s no charge, but I will accept donations, and all proceeds go direct to the Democratic Party.

The Michael Jackson jury is taking their time, still deliberating. You can’t blame them. They had to sit there and listen to lawyers arguing for months, so they are determined to delay a decision till Michael runs out of new suits and is down to his last pair of silk pajamas.

Historic quotes from Will Rogers:

“I wonder if the jurors’ minds were made up early like all the rest of ours were. I have had a hunch somehow that it would be a hung jury. If it is, I wonder if they couldn’t just sneak off in a back room somewhere with a judge, a jury and a few witnesses, and then do it like the Supreme Court handles theirs, don’t let us know anything till the decision.” DT # 2659, Feb. 17, 1935

“As soon as the government lawyers had shown that Al Capone wore silk underwear, why they rested their case. They looked at the jury and figured that would be the most damaging evidence they could bring before ’em.” DT #1631, Oct. 14, 1931.

# 366, June 2, 2005

COLUMBUS: I got a haircut last evening. Now, I don’t have the same barber as Neil Armstrong. But if mine would sign up for a seminar on how to market hair strands (slightly used), why I would be happy to split the bounty. My hair can’t claim to have ever been out of this world, but like the astronaut’s, it’s a “one owner” model. It has been regularly washed, combed and waxed, and protected from the elements by being parked under a small Stetson. I will admit when it comes to color, mine has faded appreciably, but anyone intent on paying $3000 for a small supply of high quality hair won’t be deterred by declining pigmentation.

France and Holland voted No on Europe’s Constitution. France says, “We will stand alone. And in case a War breaks out, we’ll fight and defend our borders valiantly. At least for an hour or two. Then after we’ve been overrun, we’ll allow the rest of you folks to come in and bail us out of a pickle.”

Mark Felt, the former Number 2 man at the FBI behind J. Edgar Hoover, finally came clean. He admitted he was the one that helped the Washington Post bring down Nixon. We’ve been waiting a long time to find out who this fellow was. It’s not every day you meet a man who can keep a secret for 30 years. Of course, some secrets he couldn’t even keep 24 hours without blabbing it to the Post. Folks ain’t quite sure whether he is a hero or a goat, but it’s hard to argue with a man just because he wanted the truth to come out.

John Bolton was nominated for Ambassador to the UN. Some senators are convinced he’s a goat, and not fit to be our chief diplomat. They give several reasons, but it mostly boils down to one thing: He ain’t diplomatic! Well, the President figures we’ve tried diplomacy for 50 years; Mr. Bolton couldn’t do any worse.

Danica Patrick came in fourth in the Indy 500, and nobody remembers who finished first, second or third. She pumped life back into that race, kinda like Bush hopes Bolton will do at the UN.

Historic quotes from Will Rogers:

“Diplomacy was invented by a man named Webster, to use up all the words in his Dictionary that dident mean anything. A Diplomat is a man that tells you what he don’t believe himself, and the man that he is telling it too don’t believe it any more than he does. He don’t believe you and you don’t believe him, so it always balances.” Saturday Evening Post, June 9, 1928

“A diplomat has a hundred ways of saying nothing, but no way of saying something, because he has never had anything to say. That’s why they call ’em diplomats.” DT #2159, July 5, 1933

“Diplomats are nothing but high-class lawyers —  and some of them ain’t even high class.” WA #5, January 14, 1923

# 365, May 25, 2005

COLUMBUS: Just when Congress was about to get interesting, why the Senate came to agreement and spoiled the fun. They’ve been teasing us for months about a Filibuster, and with about 5 seconds left to play in the game, they all get in a huddle in the middle of the field and say, ‘Let’s quit arguing and call it a tie’. Now of course it wasn’t all one hundred of ’em smoking the peace pipe. But Quarterback Bill Frist was left on one side with no one to throw the ball to, and Linebacker Harry Reid was alone on the other side, stripped to his socks and underwear.

I was all set to watch C-SPAN around the clock, with nothing on the screen but one Senator after another, taking turns filibustering to an empty chamber. Can you imagine anything that would cause America to turn off the TV quicker than forty Democrat Senators talking day after day, night after night? Only thing that might be worse is forty Republican Senators. Or the Jackson trial. At least they had the good sense to bring in Jay Leno and Larry King, if only for comedy purposes. To misquote Vincente Fox, “There’s some TV shows that nobody in America wants to watch, not even Mexicans.”

Here, I had dug up all these old filibuster stories, to recycle them for another laugh, and those 14 Senators in the middle want me to start from scratch. Well, I’ll give ’em to you anyway, and if you don’t laugh, blame me. If they make you cry, blame the Senate.

(“The Senate) filibustered all last night. We pay for wisdom and we get wind.” (DT # 574, May 29, 1928)

“Just think, one of those filibusters have held up Boulder Dam for seven years, and when it came to a vote only eleven men were against it.” DT # 745, Dec. 16, 1928

“Washington papers say: ‘Congress is deadlocked and can’t act.’ I think that is the greatest blessing that could befall this country.” (WA #59, Jan. 27, 1924)

(there’s another dose of Senate filibuster below…)

Last Sunday I was in Lewis County, West Virginia, at the first annual Eatin’, Singin’ and History Festival. It was put on by the radio station WHAW (also available on the internet at WHAWradio.com). About a dozen wonderful singing groups provided hours of inspiration and entertainment. Between acts I provided some history, either real or concocted. I was ably assisted in this role by the “widow” of local hero, General Stonewall Jackson. For the record, Stonewall is no relation to Michael, none at all. Mrs. Anna Jackson was downright regal in her long sleeve dress with hoop skirt of the 1860s. She said she was shocked at the number of girls and ladies with “exposed limbs”. I told her if she is shocked at the modest attire worn here, she better avoid Hollywood. The Earl of Elkview, George Daugherty, helped out and he is old enough to personally remember a good portion of our history.

I reminded the crowd that all I know is what I read in the newspaper, or hear on the radio. The local weekly paper, the Weston Democrat, had a picture of their state legislator, Doug Stalnaker, a fine young man, speaking at the Rotary luncheon club. The caption said he “explained the recent session of the Legislature”. Now these luncheon meetings only go an hour, normally, and nobody can explain a Legislature in less than a week. Then I read the rest of the caption and saw the picture was taken April 27, and then it started to jell because this was published in the May 18 edition. He had kept those Rotarians in session for 3 weeks.

Tonight Carrie Underwood won ‘American Idol’. Another Oklahoma singer makes good.

Next week, with permission of Senator Voinovich, we’ll get to the vote on John Bolton.

Historic quotes from Will Rogers: on a Senate filibuster

“As I am writing this, (the Senate) is having what is called a filibuster. The name is just as silly as the thing itself. It means that a man can get up and talk for 15 or 20 hours at a time, then be relieved by another, just to keep some bill from coming to a vote, no matter about the merit of this particular bill, whether it’s good or bad. There is no other body of lawmakers in the world that has a thing like it. Why, if a distinguished foreigner was to be taken around to see our institutions and was taken into the Senate and not told what institution it was, and heard a man ramble on, talking that had been going for 10 to 12 hours, he would probably say, ‘You have lovely quarters here for your insane, but have you no warden to look after their health – to see that they don’t talk themselves to death?’

Imagine a ball player standing at bat and not letting the other side play. Or an actor, the first one in a show, talking all night to keep the rest from going on. You know how long he would last. It’s against all the laws of American sportsmanship, never mind the parliamentary part of it.

One Senator threatened to read the Bible into the record as part of his speech, and I guess he would have done it if somebody in the Capitol had had a Bible. Now that would have been a good thing, for it would have given a lot of them a chance to hear what it says. But, of course, that was even too sensible to go through. Instead, they just did their own act for 10 to 12 hours each, which they thought would be better than anything they could find in the Bible. To imagine how bad this thing is, did you ever attend a dinner and hear a Senator speak for 50 minutes or an hour? If you have, you remember what that did to you! Well, just imagine the same thing only 12 times worse.” WA #12, March 4, 1923.

# 364, May 15, 2005

COLUMBUS: If you thought you missed 2 or 3 of these Weekly Comments, well no, it’s because I didn’t write ’em. I admit it is mighty unprofessional for a “weekly” columnist to play hooky; I may have to change the name to “Once-in-awhile Comments”.

I will remind you that Senators take off two or three weeks at a time, and they still get to call themselves Senator. In defense of both of us, Congress and myself, if you even noticed the absence (and you probably didn’t) you know it had no effect on prosperity in America, world affairs, or who won on American Idol.

Laura Bush made her debut as a stand up comedian. She has a promising future as a humorist because she can talk about her husband’s little shortcomings and idiosyncracies, kinda like her mother-in-law Barbara does. These First Ladies have it over the rest of us for comedy because they have more inside material to choose from. Now if Mrs. Clinton ever gives up the Senate and goes into comedy… whoa, brother!

On our last visit I ended with an assignment, figuring out the meaning some words that were once common in the old English language. I don’t want to leave you hanging, so here’s a reasonable facsimile of their meanings. I’m on my own on these, no help from Oklahoma. Press is another word for closet. Nairy means none. Cuttin’ up, which I know all too well, is acting a fool. Dreckly is short for directly, and means soon, as in “I’ll be there dreckly.” Ramps are plants that grow wild in the woods and look kinda like an onion but they smell ten times stronger. In West Virginia they fry ’em with eggs and sausage. Every spring they put on big ramp dinners, and everyone in the community is practically required to go, so everybody’s in the same boat from an olfactory standpoint. These are usually held on Friday evening or Saturday, so they have till Monday before outside civilization has to associate with them up close. But you would be surprised how many “outsiders” drive for miles, sometimes hundreds of miles, for the delicacy.

Nebraska may be the next state to adopt Official English. People out there voted in plain English on what they wanted in their Constitution, but a judge threw it out. He claims the 70 percent who voted in favor were illiterate, and didn’t know what they were voting for. See, the Amendment was written in short, simple words and was only two sentences long, so it couldn’t have been written by a lawyer and therefore must be unconstitutional.

Historical quotes from Will Rogers:

“With the politicians horning in, our comedian business is overcrowded.” WA #524, Jan. 8, 1933.

“If it’s in a few words and is plain and understandable only one way, it was written by a non-lawyer. Every time a lawyer writes something, he is not writing for posterity, he is writing so that endless others of his craft can make a living out of trying to figure out what he said.” WA #657, July 28, 1935

# 363, April 24, 2005

WILDCAT, West Virginia: The big news in these parts and all across the country is that last week, by an act of the State Legislature, English is the Official Language of West Virginia.

From now on, any English spoken in any other state is not Official.

Any other states that want to make English their official language (and believe me, there’s plenty of Legislators all fer it), they’ve got to go through West Virginia to do it.

For every “g” that West Virginia drops from the ends of words, Massachusetts adds a dozen “r’s”. Any Scrabble game you buy in Massachusetts, they put in a bunch of extra “R” blocks. You turn those blocks over, and you find the “G’s” they took out of the West Virginia Scrabble.

At West Virginia University they have all their English majors workin’ nights and weekends compilin’ dictionaries for trainin’ other states. (See, I’m already catchin’ on.) Dropping all those g’s means the newspapers are shorter, don’t take near as many pages as in Boston. Now when it comes to speakin’, Massachusetts talks so fast they cram more words into a shorter time, even with those excess letters. That’s why when a Senator from Massachusetts talks for 30 minutes it takes a West Virginian 45 minutes to listen and figure out what he said. On the radio in Massachusetts the local news only takes 3 minutes; in West Virginia it’s closer to 10. Of course that includes obituaries and who all was let in or let out of the hospital.

Now it ain’t just Massachusetts. Every state has their own peculiarities in language. So as a public service to help folks in other states wanting to get a head start on this official English, here’s a few official West Virginia words for you to chew on.

A right smart number of these terms are also common to Oklahoma, or at least they seem to be, ’cause they showed up in what “I” wrote for the newspapers (in bold).   It could also be because one of my ancestors landed from Ireland 200 years ago and spent quite some time in these parts.

Fetch    “But while (my Weekly Article) does not bring home the Literary praise, it does fetch in some buckwheat cakes accompanied by bacon.”

Vittles    “…and let our native food spoilers fix them up a batch of vittles garnished with…”

Pert    “So you can’t blame him very much for not feeling any too pert.” (This one means lively, and you pronounce it “peert”)

Plum    “I get to doing all this foolishness, and plum forget to do what I ought to do.”

Loft    “I used to be scared to climb up as high as the barn loft unless there was a load of hay being pitched in.” (You city folks know that one because landlords fix up these old dusty attics, call it a loft, and charge you $1500 a month to climb up there and sleep.)

Bust    “(President Hoover), we all know that you was handed a balloon that was blowed up to its utmost. You held it as carefully as any one could, but the thing busted right in your hands.”

Yonder   “All I know is just what I read in the papers, and what I see here and yonder.“

Holler    (here you get two words for the price of one) “Everybody hollers about all this big new batch of money that is to be spent.” It’s also a small valley, often with a crick runnin’ through it.

Poke     (Here’s one with at least four or five meanings, a humongous bargain) “So you see it wasent any organized effort to poke pears down a Visitor’s throat by the better business element.”
” …it was pitch dark. Cabs were poking along, people feeling their way about.”
“A good many papers are poking fun at these “Progressives” who are meeting in Washington.”
Poke is also a sack to put your store-bought groceries in. And, in a pinch, a Poke can fill in for a Samsonite.

Well, that’s a few official words to start off with. I don’t want to give you the whole kitt and caboodle in one lesson. As kind of a homework assignment, for bonus points here’s five words to figure out by next week: dreckly; press; cuttin’ up; nairy; and ramp.

Historic quotes from Will Rogers: see above